


Do You Believe In Souls?

by FanOfTA



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-04 16:38:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 84,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10994796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanOfTA/pseuds/FanOfTA
Summary: Of all the things Baekhyun needed to get his life back on track, a robot was not one of them.  Or perhaps it was just what Baekhyun needed.  This robot seemed so much like a human, sometimes it was hard to believe he was robot at all.  It made Baekhyun wish for so much more, hope for so much more.  But it was impossible, right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I began posting this story on January 29, 2017, and I'll be finishing it up both here and on AFF.  Back again with another Xiubaek~  This is actually a rewrite of an ANCIENT Sulay fic I started and never bothered to finish, so it's going to see its fruition as a Xiubaek fic now :D  I hope everyone will enjoy it!!!
> 
> Again, I'll be reposting as well as writing ANs here, so if you don't wanna read them, just cruise on by~
> 
> I WILL NOT BE RESPONDING TO QUESTIONS REGARDING WHO TOPS OR BOTTOMS.

      Loud, ear-piercing beeps sounded throughout the room as an alarm went off. A tired, muffled groan came from under the bed sheets, and soon a hand crashed down on the sleep button. It flopped lifelessly back onto the bed after silencing the horrid noise.

 

      The peace only lasted another minute before a different alarm went off, too far to be turned off without getting up. The covers were tossed off the bed and a loud groan echoed through the room as a body lifted itself off the bed. Slowly, the person walked around the room, turning off a total of 10 different alarms. After, they headed into the bathroom, running into the wall groggily when trying to get through the doorway.

 

      Upon turning on the light, the face of a very disheveled, half-asleep boy appeared in the mirror. He yawned, taking in all the stray curls and and tangles in his normally straight, copper-colored hair. He scratched his stomach underneath his shirt and leaned closer towards the mirror.

 

      After closer inspection, he noticed a trail of dried drool down his chin and sighed. He really wasn't much of a morning person. This sort of appearance didn't even surprise him anymore. At least he'd gotten a decent amount of sleep. This was how a healthy sleeper should look when they first wake up, or so he told himself.

 

      He took a wet washcloth to his face, being sure to clean off all traces of drool. After, he threw off his pajamas and pulled on a simple shirt and some jeans picked haphazardly from his drawer. Finally, he dampened his hair a bit and worked on taming it. After he'd more or less managed to straighten it out, he pulled on his thick-framed glasses, double checking that he hadn't missed anything. Then he smiled and nodded in approval.

      “Alright!”

 

      He walked out of his bathroom and into the small kitchen of his apartment. He scavenged through the cabinets for some simple things to eat that didn't require any cooking. He then sat down at his small table and sighed, feeling the morning freshness beginning to kick in.

 

      As he was finishing up his meal, his phone began ringing, playing a smooth r&b song that he had heard far too many times. It was specifically programmed for that caller and only _that_ person would have the nerve to call so early in the morning. The boy sighed and got up, walking back into his bedroom and over to his desk, where his phone was located.

      “Yeah, yeah...I'm coming,” he snapped to no one in particular as the song continued to play. Finally, he picked up his phone and answered the call. “Hello?”

      “Damn! You actually answered the first time I called you! Although one more ring and I would have gotten your answering machine...”

      “Shut up, Kyungsoo...It's too early in the morning for this...”

      “You actually sound surprisingly awake! You didn't oversleep today?”

      “I never oversleep...”

      “How many alarms did it take?”

      “Only 2...”

      “Wow! That's a drastic improvement!”

      “Fuck you...”

      “Jeez! So grumpy,” Kyungsoo chided. “Lighten up already, Baekhyun. It's been so long since we talked...”

      “And whose fault is that?”

      “Mine, I know! But hear me out! There's a reason I haven't been seeing you at school, and I'm gonna introduce you to him today. So meet me at our usual spot for lunch. I'm hanging up now. Don't be late for school.”

      “Wait, 'him?' Kyungsoo! Hey!” Baekhyun shouted into the phone. Kyungsoo had already hung up though. “Noisy bastard...” He grumbled before setting his phone back on the desk.

 

      He went back to the kitchen and cleaned up after himself, his mind wandering to what Kyungsoo had said earlier. When he was done, he headed back to the bathroom one last time and brushed his teeth. He gathered his books into his backpack and grabbed his phone off his desk, shoving it into his pocket. He slung the heavy bag onto his back, straightening his clothes out for good measure since they always got ruffled under his bag. He walked to his doorway, slipping his feet into his shoes. Once he was ready, he was out the door and in his car, on the way to school.

 

      The drive was silent other than the radio playing. He and Kyungsoo had always enjoyed listening to music together, though sometimes their taste in music differed drastically, which lead to some fights over the radio dial. Kyungsoo usually won out of pure stubbornness. It had been so long since Baekhyun had seen Kyungsoo, thinking about their petty fights made him a little lonely. At least he would finally be seeing him again today.

 

      When he got to his school, he parked and made his way towards the campus and his first class. That day, he had two classes then a lunch break, followed by one last class. He was working towards a degree in film and cinematography, so most of his classes dealt with cameras, editing videos, and the like. Overall, he enjoyed his classes, though group projects were always an absolute nightmare since he didn't handle people particularly well. Baekhyun didn't quite know what he was going to do with his life following getting a film degree, but he hoped someday he could manage his way onto a drama set.

 

      His first two classes passed by relatively quickly. After that, he headed out to the courtyard to sit at a table under the shade of a tree and eat his lunch. He and Kyungsoo would always sit there and talk or goof off, but since the other had started seeing him less frequently, Baekhyun had taken to doing homework or playing video games by himself instead. This day was no exception either, since he didn't know if Kyungsoo would actually show up.

 

      He'd taken out his laptop and was typing up a script that was due later in the week, occasionally taking a bite of his sandwich. A loud, sudden thud made him jump and glance over the top of his laptop. Of course Kyungsoo had slammed his hands down on the table in order to scare him. Kyungsoo was smirking evilly at his success and Baekhyun huffed indignantly.

      “Do you have to do that every time I'm concentrating?” He whined.

      “It's too much fun to resist,” Kyungsoo shrugged.

 

      He sat down across from Baekhyun and another body sat right beside him. Baekhyun turned his attention to the extra presence and raised an eyebrow.

      “Who's this?” He asked, gesturing to the other boy, who had wavy black hair, a beaming smile, and rather prominent ears.

      “Ah! This is Chanyeol. He's the person I mentioned this morning,” Kyungsoo stated.

      “Pleased to meet you!” Chanyeol shouted in a voice so deep it surprised Baekhyun. He stared wide-eyed before nodding at the boy.

      “Name's Baekhyun...” There was a moment of silence before he turned back to Kyungsoo. “So you ditched me for him, huh?”

      “Yeah, but it was for a good cause,” Kyungsoo defended with ease, sarcasm ever present in his voice.

      “And that is?” Baekhyun asked irritably.

      “I was busy getting to know him and asking him on dates.”

      “Wait, WHAT!?”

      “Kyungsoo and I are dating!” Chanyeol exclaimed happily. “And he didn't want to freak you out with the news...”

      “How long...?” Baekhyun uttered.

      “About a month now,” Kyungsoo answered, a hint of shyness in his tone.

      “WHY DID YOU WAIT SO LONG TO TELL ME!?”

      “For this very reason. You were bound to blow a fuse when you found out and I didn't want to have to listen to you complain and have a fit. Calm down already, it's not a big deal,” Kyungsoo grumbled.

      “I just...didn't see you settling down with anyone...at least not so soon...”

      “C'mon, Baekhyun. It's been a long time since then. You need to settle down with someone too.”

      “No, I'm fine the way I am,” Baekhyun quickly corrected. “Relationships are way too stressful for me. But I'm happy you were able to find someone. He seems pretty cute.”

      “Keep your lecherous eyes off him!” Kyungsoo shouted, causing Chanyeol to blush and Baekhyun to burst out laughing.

      “Lucky for you, he's not my type. But having another friend wouldn't hurt.” Baekhyun directed the second comment at Chanyeol. “Kyungsoo likes you, so you must be a great guy. He's really picky.”

      “I'd love to get to know you too,” Chanyeol stated shyly. Baekhyun glanced at the time on his computer screen and sighed.

      “Unfortunately, I've got to get to class. You should both hang out with me at lunch more often. I get lonely.”

      “Will do!” Chanyeol agreed happily.

 

      Kyungsoo rolled his eyes and shrugged, but Baekhyun knew that meant he would stop by more. Baekhyun got up and packed his laptop, then waved as he headed off, sighing under the weight of his backpack. When Kyungsoo could no longer see the boy, he turned to his boyfriend.

      “So what do you think of him?” He asked.

      “Well, he seems kinda serious...”

      “Yeah. He didn't used to be that serious, but...things happened. He's being way too uptight and hard on himself now.”

      “Oh, I see...He still seems like a really nice guy though.”

      “He is. We've been friends for a few years, and he's definitely one of the nicest guys I know, despite how his mouth runs off.”

      “I wonder if he'll ever loosen up...”

      “I hope so. He's got such a stick up his ass.”

      “Well, he needs _something_ up his ass,” Chanyeol said sarcastically. Kyungsoo just burst out laughing before leaning his head on the other's shoulder.

      “And this is why I like you,” he sighed as he caught his breath. Chanyeol's smile beamed back at him.

      “So are we really gonna go through with our plan then? I mean...isn't it a little mean?”

      “Nah, it'll be fine. We already have _it_ , so might as well send it. He needs to chill out a bit and this could help him. Besides, like you said, he needs something up his ass and this could help there too.”

      “Hopefully he learns to like it~” Chanyeol singsonged.

      “Oh, I'm sure he will.”

 

      Kyungsoo's smirk grew into a smile, and he and Chanyeol burst out laughing. It would be a bit of a cruel prank giving it to him initially, but Kyungsoo really felt like it could help Baekhyun. Then again, it could also make things worse, but he'd jump off that bridge when he came to it.

 

~*~

      The following week, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were stuck to Baekhyun like glue to 'make up for lost time' and 'get to know him better,' respectively. It was unnerving to say the least. They were both being too charming compared to their normal selves and Baekhyun knew they were definitely up to no good. Suspicion aside, he still really enjoyed their company. He'd always hated being alone.

 

      It was during the weekend that Baekhyun received a rather strange call from Kyungsoo. He hadn't set any of his alarms, so naturally he'd slept well into the afternoon. It took 4 calls from Kyungsoo before Baekhyun finally got out of bed and answered the phone.

      “What...?” He asked groggily.

      “Damn, you can't wake up to save your life.”

      “What do you want, Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun groaned, not appreciating being woken up only to be ridiculed.

      “Have you gotten your mail yet?” The other asked suddenly.

      “No? Why?”

      “Well...You're gonna get a rather large package today...”

      “From you?”

      “From me and Chanyeol. Think of it as a sign to move on.”

      “Move on...? Move where? What are you talking about?”

      “You're really stupid when you first wake up. Think about it.”

      “Fuck you! What kind of package is-” He was cut off by the doorbell to his apartment ringing. He sighed before speaking up again. “Stay on the line and I swear if this is some sort of sick joke, you and Chanyeol are DEAD!”

      “Whatever, just go get it.”

 

      Baekhyun set the phone down on his bed and went to his door. He cursed himself for not having time to fix his bedhead, check for drool, or even change, but such was his life. He cautiously opened the door and was greeted by a deliveryman with a clipboard. Beside him was a massive box up to Baekhyun's waist.

      “Um...Hello...” The half-asleep boy mumbled. The deliveryman pushed the clipboard towards him.

      “I need you to sign here.”

      “Er...Um...Ok...” Baekhyun muttered, extremely flustered by the situation.

 

      When he'd signed and given it back, the deliveryman bowed and left, not even bothering to help bring the package inside. Baekhyun groaned and tried to pull on the box, but had little success. Cursing under his breath, he went around to the other side and began pushing it painstakingly into his apartment. After what seemed like an eternity, he got it inside and pushed the box towards the center of the room.

 

      He gasped for breath and rubbed his aching back. Whatever they'd gotten him, it was _not_ light. Remembering that he still had Kyungsoo on the phone, or so he hoped, he ran back over and picked it up.

      “What the hell did you get me!? It's huge! And heavy, might I add...”

      “Open it. You'll see.”

      “Why do I feel like this is going to be a horrible mistake...?”

      “Just do it!” Kyungsoo snapped

      “Alright, fine!” Baekhyun pouted. “You better stay on the line though...”

      “I will,” Kyungsoo practically sang.

 

      Baekhyun swore he heard Chanyeol snickering in the background. He could only assume he was on speaker phone and the two were silently laughing at him. Bastards.

 

      He grabbed a pocketknife and walked back over to the box. Holding the phone up to his ear with his shoulder, he cut the tape with ease. He took a deep breath before lifting the flaps up. His jaw dropped as he stared at a person, curled up within the box.

      “What the fuck is this!? You got me a person!?”

      “Well...It's not _exactly_ a person...”

      “So then...what is-” Baekhyun gasped as he realized what Kyungsoo had meant earlier. “By moving on, you don't mean...YOU GOT ME A FUCKING SEX DOLL!?”

      “It's not really that either...although you can use it for that if you want to.”

      “What the fuck!? Why did you think this would help- Wait, 'not really that either?' Then what is it...?”

      “It's a robot...You need some sort of social interaction in your life outside of school, and since you can't really handle people right now, I thought we'd start here.”

      “What makes you think this is going to make me normal again!? If anything, it's gonna make me look like a total creep!”

      “Hey, chill out, ok? There's nothing wrong with it! What person doesn't have some sort of sex toy? It's not like you have to admit it to anyone what he is...and besides, I didn't say you _had_ to use him that way! He could just do your laundry for fuck's sake! Oh, but there is one thing...”

      “What's that?” Baekhyun groaned.

      “Chanyeol and I rigged the box. There's a plug in his ear that once removed triggers his start-up process. We rigged it so it was connected to one of the box flaps. So when you opened it, you kinda turned him on...”

      “You did WHAT!?” Baekhyun screeched.

      “And you can't return him once he's turned on...Sohavefunbye!”

 

      With that, the other line went dead. Baekhyun stared at his phone in shock, his body shaking with rage.

      “I'm going to fucking KILL them!!!” He shouted.

      “Who needs killing, owner?”

 

      Baekhyun jumped, letting out a rather pathetic yelp, and turned around. The robot was sitting up, looking at him with no expression and waiting for a response. When it received none, it spoke again.

      “If you want something killed, I will do it. I am programmed to follow your commands.”

      “NO! God, no! Don't kill anything! It was a figure of speech!” Baekhyun shouted, frantically waving his arms in front of him.

      “Understood. For clarification's sake, are you my owner?”

      “Uh...Well...”

      “If so, please state your name so it can be added to my registry.”

      “R-Registry?”

      “Yes. A registry of names and faces to be referenced and used in the future.”

      “O-Oh...M-My name's Baekhyun. Byun Baekhyun...”

 

      He didn't know why he'd told his name to the robot. He _obviously_ wasn't thinking straight. The machine simply nodded, seemingly unaware of how panicked Baekhyun was.

      “Byun Baekhyun: owner. Understood. I am Model No. T93B4H5X1UM1N. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

 

      Baekhyun stared in pure horror at the robot. This had to be a dream. There was no way Kyungsoo and Chanyeol actually got this for him. As he pinched himself repeatedly, he realized this was as far from a dream as he could possibly get. He really was the owner of a robot now.

 

      Said robot was still looking up at Baekhyun with an unblinking, almost expectant gaze. Baekhyun pulled at the hem of his shirt nervously, not knowing how to interact. What was he _supposed_ to say to a robot?

      “P...Pleased to meet you t-too...” Baekhyun muttered. That was eloquently put.

      “You seem to be nervous about something. What's the matter?” The robot asked, cocking its head to the side.

      “N-No, I'm not. I just...didn't really expect you. That's all...”

      “I see. So you are unfamiliar with the start-up process.”

      “You could say that...”

      “The owner has been clarified. The next step is giving me a name.”

      “A name?”

      “Yes. If you choose to do so, that is. It is an optional step, although calling me Model No. T93B4H5X1UM1N may be a bit hard for you.”

      “Oh, yeah. Definitely too hard. Um, a name...Hmm...”

 

      He couldn't think of anything off the top of his head, especially under such a scrutinizing gaze from the robot. For something that was completely made of electronics, it certainly seemed lifelike and fairly impatient. Baekhyun's eyes shifted from the robot to the side of the box, which had large print letters on it. He could vaguely read them, but without his glasses, they appeared fuzzy. He squinted trying to read the last few.

      “X...XIUMIN?” He asked to himself, but the robot still heard. “Oh wait...that's just your model number-”

      “Understood. New name registered as 'Xiumin.'”

      “Wait, what?”

      “The next part of start-up includes listing my functionality. After that, you may use me as you see fit.”

      “F-Functionality?”

      “Yes. This could take a while, so you might want to be seated.”

      “O-Ok...”

 

      Baekhyun took a seat on the floor a short distance from the box. He glanced up at the robot and couldn't help but notice it was fairly good looking. It had long eyelashes and beautiful, curved lips. Its hair was long, parted down the middle and given a light wave. His eyes were absolutely out of the world, sharp but gorgeous. Kyungsoo knew Baekhyun looked at eyes and lips first when finding attraction in a person, so he must have known Baekhyun would be weak against this kind of look. Deciding he was done having internal struggles over the robot's face, Baekhyun looked down, only to have his eyes drawn to its perfectly sculpted collarbones and abdomen. That was another thing Baekhyun had a weakness for. Fuck you, Kyungsoo.

      “Baekhyun? Are you in a comfortable position?” The robot named Xiumin asked, drawing said boy's attention back to its face.

      “Huh? Uh, yeah...So, how do you work?”

      “I run on battery. It naturally recharges at night when I go into idle mode. This mode can be set to later times, should the owner decide to keep the robot up late into the night, however, it's not good for the battery to do so on a regular basis. If needed, the robot can run on a fuel supply, which will be discussed momentarily. In addition, the recharge time can be shifted to the daytime if the owner works a graveyard shift and sleeps during the day. This ensures that the owner gets the most out of his or her robot.

      “A-Alright. I'm up during the day, so there's no need for that...”

      “Understood. My body functions similar to that of a human. I can eat food and it will be converted into excess fuel, which can be used if my battery runs out or for other processes.”

      “Other processes?”

      “Yes, such as the growth of my hair or fingernails, or production of bodily fluids like saliva, tears, and a semen-like substance.”

      “Oh God! The last one won't be necessary! But you can grow your hair?”

      “Yes. The fuel can be converted into a synthetic substance used in the creation of hair and fingernails, should the owner wish for their robot to change their style.”

      “You're really customizable, aren't you...”

      “That was one of the target goals behind my production in addition to making me as human-like as possible.”

      “So then, what exactly are you for? I mean, what do you do?”

      “Anything you wish for me to do. If you'd like me to do household chores, I will do so. If you find yourself in need of a friend, I can serve as that. If you would like to have a romantic partner, I can be that as well. If you need something to release your sexual tensions, I'm built with full sexual functionality, although I lack sperm count in my semen, so impregnation is impossible.”

      “I'm _fairly_ certain that will never be an issue,” Baekhyun commented awkwardly.

      “Then what is your wish for me? What would you like me to do?”

      “I...I don't know. Maybe some chores? My friends got you for me, so I don't really know what to do with you...”

      “Understood. Tell me what chores you would like done. If need be, I can also work a job to bring home extra money. Treat me as another human if you wish, or treat me like an asset. The choice is yours.”

      “A-Alright...For now, just, uh...clean and relax around the house?”

      “Understood,” the robot said before standing up. Baekhyun fell backwards in surprise and let out another signature yelp when he realized the robot didn't have any clothes on.

      “Oh God!” He screeched, covering his eyes.

      “What is it?” Xiumin asked.

      “L-Let's get you dressed first...”

 

      He got to his feet awkwardly and grabbed Xiumin's wrist. The robot stepped out of the box and followed him into his room. Baekhyun rapidly browsed through his dresser and grabbed some underwear, a shirt, and shorts that went just below the knees. He quickly handed them to the boy and looked away awkwardly.

      “You know how to put those on, right?” He asked.

      “Yes, but does the naked appearance of a man bother you? You have the same appearance, do you not?”

      “It-It's nothing like that. It's just...I'd prefer you to have clothes on, ok?

      “Understood. I'll add that to the owner preference settings.”

      “O-Ok...”

 

      Baekhyun stood with his back to the robot as he heard the sound of rustling clothes. He waited until Xiumin told him he could turn around, and when he did, he couldn't help but like what he saw. The robot had gorgeously sculpted calves that the pants showed off quite well. The shirt he'd given him was a bit low-cut, so his clavicles and some of his pecs were visible. They were perfect. Seriously, fuck you, Kyungsoo.

      “What next?” Xiumin asked.

      “Umm...Well, I have homework to do so-”

      “Shall I do it for you?”

      “No, no! Let me finish my sentence!”

      “Understood. My apologies.”

      “It's fine. Anyways, I've got homework to do, so I guess you could do the laundry, make the bed...Stuff like that.”

      “I understand. Good luck with your work,” Xiumin said, bowing slightly.

      “Y-Yeah. Thanks...” Baekhyun mumbled, feeling more awkward than ever. If Kyungsoo thought this was going to help him break out of his antisocial bubble, he was far from the truth.

 

      For the next few hours, Baekhyun sat quietly at his desk, trying to concentrate on his homework, but glancing over nervously whenever the robot walked by. Eventually, the robot sat on the bed across from his desk and stared at him.

      “I've finished all the tasks given to me.”

      “Is that so?” Baekhyun asked, his voice cracking from his frazzled nerves. The robot nodded. “Then...Is there anything _you_ want to do?”

      “I'm programmed to only do as my owner tells me...”

      “That's not very human-like,” Baekhyun shrugged. The robot cocked its head to the side.

      “You make a valid point. Then what do humans want?”

      “Hm? Lots of things...Some want possessions, knowledge, love and affection...”

      “Do you want knowledge then?”

      “Why do you ask that?”

      “Because you're doing school work. You gain knowledge from school, don't you?”

      “Oh, yeah. That's right.”

      “Then I would like to gain knowledge as well.”

      “Aren't you already really smart because you're a robot?”

      “I have increased functionality to learn, but I don't know everything.”

      “Oh...Then here, you can read this book. It's about cinematography.”

 

      He handed the robot a textbook and watched as it opened to the first page and began reading. He couldn't help but smile. Xiumin seemed genuinely interested in learning, and that made Baekhyun a little happy. Perhaps it was because the robot would share a common knowledge and interest with him. Maybe then he could actually talk about his interests with someone, and feel a bit less anxious around the robot. He had to wonder if Xiumin would have actual opinions though.

 

      When the day was over, Xiumin sat crisscrossed in the corner of the room and closed its eyes. Baekhyun glanced at him questioningly, but decided it was probably better to leave it alone. The robot had mentioned something about recharging after all. This was probably how he did it.

 

      Baekhyun curled up in his bed and quickly fell asleep after that. When he woke up halfway through the next day, Xiumin had already prepared food for him and was working on cleaning the house. Baekhyun ate with pleasure, noting that Xiumin was a decent cook. After the robot finished cleaning, the day proceeded as the day before had, with Baekhyun doing homework and the Xiumin reading a textbook.

 

      Finally, Monday rolled around. Baekhyun was roughly woken up by his first alarm, the same as any other day. Getting shaken persistently by a robot was something new though.

      “Baekhyun. Baekhyun, an alarm is sounding. Is danger near? Should we vacate the premises?” Xiumin asked. The sleeping boy groaned and looked up at the alarm sleepily.

      “No, it's just time to wake up...”

      “For what?”

      “I have to go to school today.”

      “Should I get breakfast then?”

      “If you want to. I usually just eat something small...”

      “Understood. I'll prepare something small then.”

      “Thanks...”

      “Please don't go back to sleep, and be sure to clean the drool from your chin before leaving,” Xiumin said monotonously as he headed into the kitchen.

 

      Baekhyun groaned and sat up, turned off all his alarms, and headed into the bathroom, slightly embarrassed from being lectured by a robot. He cleaned himself up, got dressed, and put on his glasses before heading out to the kitchen. Xiumin had already made something small for him and was sitting at the table sipping on some coffee. Baekhyun sat down across from him shyly.

      “I hope you don't mind that I'm partaking in some of your coffee,” the robot started. “It seems taking in large amounts of information while reading the past two days consumed more energy than initially estimated.”

      “It's fine. Do you want something to eat?” Baekhyun stupidly offered, smacking himself internally afterward.

      “There isn't much food, so I think it should go to you first and foremost. Food is a secondary source of fuel for me, but you need it to survive.”

      “Alright...This coming weekend, let's go shopping, ok?” Baekhyun suggested, changing the subject a bit.

      “For what? If you need something, I can go buy it for you.”

      “It's for you. We'll need some more food since I want your battery to be healthy, and you'll need clothes. You're about the same size as me, but you're a bit thinner, so my pants don't fit you too well. Plus, once winter comes, we'll need to get you some warmer clothes.”

      “It shouldn't be a problem. My body is designed to withstand instances of intense heat or cold.”

      “Still, people will question it if you walk around in shorts in winter,” Baekhyun explained, laughing a little at the thought and surprising himself. He was already starting to feel some sort of endearment for the machine.

      “Walking around? You mean outside?”

      “Sure, why not? Being in the house all day would suck, wouldn't it? Plus, my house can only get so clean. We need to find something for you to do.”

      “Understood.”

      “I have to go now though...Thanks for breakfast!”

      “You're welcome.”

 

      Baekhyun got up and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and do his usual final check to make sure he looked decent enough to leave the house. After that, he grabbed his backpack and proceeded to the door. He was surprised when he saw another set of feet slip into a spare pair of his shoes beside him. He glanced up to find Xiumin looking at him expectantly.

      “What are you doing?” Baekhyun asked.

      “Going to school with you.”

      “But you aren't enrolled in any of the classes. You're not a student...”

      “Oh, I see...” Xiumin said a bit quieter than his normal volume. Was he _disappointed_? Baekhyun sighed, too soft for his own good.

      “Alright. You can come as a visitor for today...but only today, understand?”

      “Yes.”

 

      The two headed out the door to Baekhyun's car. Xiumin got in on the passenger'[s side and stared ahead. This would be the robot's first time seeing the outside world, Baekhyun realized. For some reason, the robot's 'curiosity' intrigued him. While he could tell Xiumin was very heavily programmed in all his actions, there was something else there, something that was indeed very human-like. Perhaps that was why Baekhyun got so quickly used to his presence. Then again, they'd been cooped up together all weekend, so that probably sped the process along.

 

      The drive to school was the same as always. Baekhyun put on the radio and was singing along quietly. He glanced over at Xiumin every once and a while, and the robot seemed to be enjoying the music, soaking in the words and tapping fingers along to the beat. There it was again. That extra something that Baekhyun couldn't help but notice. What was it? How did they make a machine that could 'enjoy' something? Perhaps he was just processing the music and mechanically tapping along to the rhythm.

 

      When they got to school, Xiumin followed Baekhyun to his first class. They sat in the back to avoid the teacher noticing the extra head in the class. Thankfully it was a big lecture hall, so the teacher didn't know the students by name or by face. Throughout the entire lecture, Xiumin was sitting up straight and listening attentively. Baekhyun had to laugh to himself. His robot really was the perfect student. If he had more money, he would have enrolled Xiumin in some classes. It would probably be more fun than staying home cleaning all day. It was obvious Xiumin had taken an interest in learning new things, and Baekhyun surprisingly wanted to let him explore that path. He really was too soft for his own good, wishing for a robot to have something fun to do.

 

      The morning classes went by quickly and soon Baekhyun and Xiumin were on their way to the usual lunch spot. When they arrived, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were already there, being nauseatingly sweet and loving with each other. Baekhyun clicked his tongue and shook his head at the sight. They probably weren't even remotely sorry for playing such a weird prank on him. He quietly walked up behind them, trying not to catch their attention.

      “Hey, fuckheads,” he said irritably. Both boys jumped and faced him.

      “Shit, when did you learn to sneak around? You gave us a heart attack, Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo whined, a hint of sarcasm in his voice..

      “Oh shut the fuck up. You have no room to even talk when it comes to scaring people!”

      “Hey! Chanyeol and I were just trying to do something nice for you!”

      “You threw me to the wolves!” Baekhyun snapped.

      “But it seems like you like him,” Chanyeol interjected, pointing at the being standing silently beside the irate boy.

      “I'm getting used to him, I guess...” Baekhyun sighed, sitting down at the table. He patted the seat next to him and Xiumin sat down in it. “How did you guys even get a hold of a robot like this?”

      “Chanyeol snagged him,” Kyungsoo stated. His boyfriend awkwardly took over the explanation from there.

      “My family is pretty wealthy and they got him for me, but I have a boyfriend already so...We decided to give him to you!”

      “Well, thanks for nothing,” Baekhyun spat. Chanyeol pouted and Kyungsoo snuggled him closer.

      “Hey, no need to be such an ass about it, ok? We're sorry for the prank. Are you not gonna keep him?”

      “No...” Baekhyun sighed. “I'm keeping him.”

      “Really!?” Chanyeol asked excitedly. Kyungsoo looked just as happy.

      “Yeah,” Baekhyun repeated. “I think you might be right...It might be just what I need right now...If nothing else, he can help me out.”

 

      There was definitely something very human-like about Xiumin, regardless of whether Baekhyun could find an explanation for it or not. Even better, Xiumin didn't act judgmental with Baekhyun, and in general was just a silent, constant presence by his side. Baekhyun had felt so lonely for so long, even a robot felt like decent company for him. It was still hard to have conversations, but it definitely beat hiding in his room and avoiding numerous people that had learned to treat him poorly. Xiumin was infinitely better company than them, and he _did_ help wake Baekhyun up in the mornings as well as do chores around the house. He was worth keeping, Baekhyun reasoned with himself.

      “Glad to hear you'll give it a try,” Kyungsoo said gently.

 

      He always took on a gentler tone when Baekhyun's feelings were involved or he felt the need to look after the boy. It was what made Kyungsoo such a good, constant friend in Baekhyun's life, despite how much they bickered with each other. Kyungsoo just hoped that Baekhyun was finally going to try and move on.

 

      The rest of lunch was fairly standard. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo flirted with each other and teased Baekhyun endlessly. Xiumin observed quietly while eating some food that Baekhyun had bought for him to keep his battery going strong. The two lovers had to leave first since their class were across the campus and started slightly before Baekhyun's. When it came time for the remaining two to leave, Baekhyun stood up and sighed. He turned to Xiumin and offered a small smile.

      “Ready to go learn more?”

 

      Xiumin looked up at him before nodding, and Baekhyun swore he could see a smile forming on the robot's usually stoic features. There really was something special about him. Baekhyun just couldn't place his finger on what it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray, finally posting the first chapter OTL  I meant to have it up yesterday, but it took longer to proofread than anticipated and I couldn't stay up late cuz I had work (and was already sleep deprived oops >.>).  I did so much revising to this first chapter, like it was a MESS from what I'd written 3 years ago.  And even now, I'm not sure if I'm happy with it, but I think it's ok XD  As always, the story will gradually pick up haha!  This was mostly introducing all the characters.  And I failed to mention her in the foreword, but as always, my beloved friend G is helping me make sense of this monstrosity and giving me advice when I need it, so thank you dear :*  Gotta give shoutouts when they are very due~  And thank you everyone for reading :D


	2. Chapter 2

      The rest of the week went by quicker than usual. Xiumin didn't come to school with Baekhyun again, but every night when he came home from school or work, Xiumin would bombard him with questions while he did his homework. It seemed the robot had actually taken quite an interest in what Baekhyun was learning. It was cute and a little endearing, to say the least. Baekhyun found himself feeling softer for the robot than he would have liked to admit.

 

      When Saturday finally rolled around, Baekhyun made sure to wake up early. He was up by the 5th alarm and Xiumin had breakfast for both of them ready by then. He thanked the robot and ate happily, making small talk with Xiumin and enjoying each little response he got. Xiumin wasn't a big talker like Baekhyun was, but even his short, simplistic responses made Baekhyun happy. Even though he knew Xiumin was simply acting based on a program, he still felt like he was genuinely listening and formulating responses. It had been a while since Baekhyun felt like he had someone to talk to, especially since Kyungsoo had been more distant in his attempts to woo Chanyeol. Baekhyun still wasn't over the shock of that whole revelation.

 

      After breakfast, Baekhyun got dressed for the day, tamed his bed hair, and got his glasses on. He used to wear contacts, but they were so much work, and he thought he looked fairly cute with glasses. Plus, not as many people recognized him with the massive lenses shielding his face. It was easier this way. He shook himself out of the negative thoughts starting to form and bounded over to Xiumin, who was still seated at the table.

      “You ready to go?” He asked.

      “Go where?” Xiumin responded, not seeming to remember Baekhyun had planned things for them that day.

      “To get you some clothes and some more food. I always shop on the weekends.”

      “Oh, right. If it's too much of a financial burden, don't get me anything.”

      “Xiumin, it's fine,” Baekhyun sighed, chuckling a bit afterward. “I really don't mind getting you a few pairs of clothes to wear. But I need you to come with me so I can get the sizing right.”

      “If you insist, I will come with you.”

 

      Xiumin got up from the table, pushing his chair in after him, and walked over to Baekhyun. The robot had great manners, though Baekhyun probably shouldn't have been surprised. They headed to the door and slipped shoes on. Baekhyun would have to buy Xiumin his own pair of shoes as well. He knew they wore roughly the same size, but he didn't like the thought of a robot forcing his feet into his shoes. Baekhyun didn't think they would hold up very long at this rate. Buying Xiumin his own, properly fitting pair would definitely save Baekhyun a lot of heartbreak and torn shoes in the future. It would be cheaper in the long run, he kept telling himself.

 

      When they were ready, they got in Baekhyun's car and he drove to the mall. They went through a few different stores, picking out styles for Xiumin. Baekhyun wanted to let Xiumin pick the clothes out, but the robot seemed to only care about the other's preferences. Eventually, the boy gave up and began choosing out the shirts, usually low-cut ones so the robot's godly collarbones and chest could be showcased perfectly. When Baekhyun had picked out enough for Xiumin to have some variety, he passed them to the robot to try on. Xiumin would come out of the dressing room after each shirt to make sure Baekhyun approved of it. The latter couldn't help but feel that weird twinge of affection for the robot. It wasn't right to feel that way, was it? Xiumin was just a robot after all.

 

      Baekhyun forced himself to stop thinking about it and they moved on to picking out some pants that fit Xiumin properly. This was a little easier since they were shopping based on waist size and similar measurements. Baekhyun made sure to get Xiumin some long and short pants so that he could dress for the season, not that it would matter since he couldn't feel heat or cold. In general, Baekhyun kept telling himself that he was wasting effort and money buying clothes for a robot, but he didn't want to just leave Xiumin without any or give him his own. No matter what he did, he just felt weird and conflicted, caught between wanting to pamper the robot and questioning whether he should really be doing so.

 

      When Baekhyun was done with his internal fit again, he headed with Xiumin over to the shoes, and they spent some time putting them on. Comfort wasn't really much of an issue, but Baekhyun still had to make sure the shoes weren't too small or too big. When they finally had a few pairs of shoes chosen, they grabbed all their items and headed to the nearest cashier to check out.

 

      As the cashier was ringing up the items, Baekhyun's heart dropped. It was going to be expensive to pay for all of this. Even though his brain was screaming at them that he was wasting clothes on a machine, he felt like it was worth it. Xiumin would look cute in everything at least, and that would probably make Baekhyun happy. In a sense, this was almost like treating himself by treating Xiumin. This had been the first time he'd gone shopping for anything besides groceries as well, and he was actually really enjoying it. With Xiumin around, he had someone to focus on instead of letting his paranoia of being in public get to him. Even if Xiumin was a robot, he was a calming presence in Baekhyun's life, and he didn't mind spending money on that.

 

      The cashier finished scanning all the items and Baekhyun handed her a credit card, suppressing a sigh. He would be tight on funds for the month, but he could probably manage. When they were done, they took all their items back to the car and loaded them into the backseat. It was around lunch time and Baekhyun's stomach was growling, so he decided to get some lunch with Xiumin before going grocery shopping. As he started the car to drive them to the nearest restaurant, Xiumin spoke up.

      “I'm sorry for depleting your funds. I'll make it up to you.”

      “It's fine,” Baekhyun soothed, smiling slightly. “Like I said, you needed clothes. I'll make it through the month, don't worry.”

      “I would still like to get a job. Then I can help support you.”

      “Well, you can if you want to. I don't mind one way or the other. If you do get a job though, be careful, alright?”

      “Understood.”

 

      Nothing more was said during the drive. Baekhyun wasn't even sure why he'd told Xiumin to be careful. The chances of a robot hurting or breaking itself seemed pretty slim, so his worry was probably wasted. Other people could catch on to the fact that he was a robot though, and Baekhyun wasn't sure why that made him so nervous. Part of it was probably that he was afraid to be judged by others for keeping a robot like this around, probably assuming the worst about him. Another part of it was fear though. Fear that something would happen to Xiumin, or that he would be taken away from Baekhyun. He was an idiot for getting so attached to a giant hunk of metal in such a short amount of time. Xiumin really seemed different than other pieces of technology that Baekhyun interacted with. Even if his responses sounded a bit robotic, they felt warm.

 

      Baekhyun pulled into a parking spot at the restaurant and motioned for Xiumin to follow him inside. They were seated at a booth and handed two menus. Xiumin didn't touch it at first, so Baekhyun looked at him questioningly.

      “You aren't going to eat?” He asked.

      “I don't need food,” Xiumin answered.

      “Yeah, you do. I don't want you pushing your battery's limit, ok? We did a lot today.”

      “But your finances-”

      “They're fine. Don't worry about that, ok? I did some price crunching last night. I have enough to pay for both our meals, so don't freak out about it.”

      “I'll pay you back.”

      “If you really want to.”

      “I do want to,” Xiumin repeated. “Why are you so carefree about your finances? Aren't you struggling?”

      “Well, it's not comfortable but...”

      “But?”

      “It's worth it,” Baekhyun said quietly, scared to admit all the musing in his head from earlier out loud.

      “Why do you say that?” Xiumin asked. Baekhyun sighed, expecting the question to follow. He was a curious robot after all.

      “Let's just say, besides Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, I don't really trust anyone, and I have trouble getting along with people. Don't ask me why I even trust those two.”

      “Why don't you trust people?”

      “It's...a long story. Let's just leave it at that, ok?”

      “Understood. But I still don't see how this relates to spending money on me.”

      “I don't trust people, but you're not a person. I don't think you'd go out of your way to hurt me or stab in the back. It's not in your programming from what I've seen. You won't judge me either. I can relax around you, and I can actually have fun...So I don't mind spoiling you and taking care of you in return. Ya know?”

      “I see. I don't think I need an excessive amount of clothes, but thank you for your kindness. I'm glad I can be of assistance to you in such ways.”

      “Yeah,” Baekhyun mumbled, trying to hide his blush. He still wasn't sure what he was doing getting so emotional and attached to a robot, but he was tired of thinking about it. “Anyways, go ahead and get something to eat, ok? My treat.”

      “Understood. Thank you.”

 

      The waiter came back a few minutes later and took their order. Xiumin ordered the cheapest thing on the menu after scanning through it. Baekhyun felt a little bad initially, but Xiumin explained that it didn't matter what he ordered since it would all be converted into fuel and he didn't actually have taste buds to experience like or dislike for the taste. Baekhyun thought that was a little sad, but he kept his mouth shut about the topic. He didn't know if Xiumin could understand sadness or the concepts of like or dislike. Instead, they sat in a comfortable silence while they waited for their food.

 

      Eventually, Baekhyun's eye caught a family of 4 eating at another booth nearby. Seeing a full family spending time happily together flooded him with more longing and regret than he'd ever thought possible. He couldn't remember the last time he'd talked to his parents, let alone ate a meal with them. They'd been on pretty bad terms for the past few years, and his spiral out of control about half a year ago had ruined everything beyond repair. He was a complete disappointment to them now. He was just grateful he hadn't screwed up enough to lose his scholarship on top of everything else. He sighed at the memories, a little louder than he would have liked. Forcing himself yet again to not dwell on bad thoughts, he focused instead on his food that the waiter had just brought out.

      “Do you wish to get married and have a family someday?” Xiumin asked suddenly. He must have noticed that Baekhyun was staring at the family.

      “I dunno. Maybe. I can't get married though...”

      “Because you don't trust people?” Xiumin asked next. Baekhyun laughed a little, finding it cute that Xiumin had remembered and taken it into consideration.

      “Well, there's that. I'm gay though. I can't get married in this country. And I don't even know if I want that sort of commitment...but someone to love would be nice. Maybe we could have a family someday...”

      “I see. I'm sorry for your hardships. I wish you luck.”

      “Thanks,” Baekhyun sighed, but he couldn't help but smile at Xiumin's response all the same.

 

      There was just something about Xiumin's innocence, honesty, and blunt nature that drew Baekhyun to him. Xiumin was so supportive of him, and seemed to care whenever Baekhyun was upset. He _noticed_ when Baekhyun was upset, which was more than what most other humans were capable of doing. For something without any emotions, Xiumin was extremely considerate, and dare Baekhyun say it, caring. He refused to believe he was attracted to Xiumin in any way though. He couldn't fall into a dangerous, unhealthy emotional situation. Not again. Besides, falling for a robot was ridiculous. It wasn't possible.

 

      After they finished lunch, they drove to the grocery store and bought enough food for the both of them. It was a dip in Baekhyun's bank account, but he really couldn't have cared less. He'd become so easily attached to the robot as a source of company and relaxation, it was scaring him a little. He wasn't excessively doting on Xiumin either, just getting him the bare necessities he would need to pass as a human and keep his battery running well. He could allow himself to get that attached, right? He was just looking out for the well-being of a machine, like the way people buy accessories and special cases for their laptops. That's what he convinced himself.

 

~*~

      A few weeks went by living with Xiumin. The robot had insisted on finding a part-time job so that Baekhyun wouldn't have to struggle to make ends meet. Baekhyun figured it couldn't hurt since Xiumin stayed home while Baekhyun was at school. The robot ended up finding a cafe near Baekhyun's school that was hiring. He proceeded to spend the days leading up to his interview reading about how to make several types of drinks and how to succeed in an interview. Baekhyun found it rather adorable how serious and efficient Xiumin was being. Needless to say, he got the job.

 

      Xiumin's work hours coincided fairly well with Baekhyun's, mostly in the morning and afternoon when he was at school. Since it was nearby, Xiumin could walk over to the campus and wait for Baekhyun and they could go home together. Baekhyun could also drop him off sometimes on his way to school. It was nice to have someone waiting for him most of the time after class. Baekhyun was starting to get used to the comfort and routine that Xiumin created in his life.

 

      Baekhyun knew it was strange to hold Xiumin in such standing, but the robot had become special to him already. He knew Xiumin wouldn't judge him, since any judgment Xiumin seemed to make depended on Baekhyun's opinion to begin with. The robot was an outlet for the boy to use, be it venting or relaxing. Xiumin simply listened, and provided as much comfort and advice as a high-functioning robot could provide. It usually made Baekhyun smile or laugh all the same just to see a robot trying to understand and deal with human emotions. In general, Baekhyun was starting to smile more. He'd shut himself off for so long, even the presence of a robot comforted him. He was starting to regain some of the self-confidence he'd thought was long gone after everything that had happened. As long as he was with Xiumin, he could be himself again.

 

      One Friday after school, Baekhyun was heading to the parking lot where Xiumin was going to meet him at his car so they could go home. He wasn't surprised at all when two obnoxious lovebirds wrapped their arms around his shoulders. He knew they wouldn't stay away from him for long. Baekhyun groaned and turned to look at the two people clinging to him.

      “What?” He asked irritably.

      “Where are you off to?” Kyungsoo asked, failing to hide a smirk.

      “Home, with Xiumin. He's meeting me at my car.”

      “Really!?” Chanyeol asked. “You're not doing anything special?”

      “No...? Why would I?”

      “It's a Friday night. You always used to go out and have fun,” Kyungsoo reminded him.

      “That was then, and this is now. Where are you getting at with this?”

      “It's a date night!” Chanyeol exclaimed. “You should go out and have some fun! Xiumin's meeting you, isn't he?”

      “Xiumin and I aren't in that kind of relationship nor will we ever be,” Baekhyun stated flatly, though there wasn't as much strength behind his words as he would have liked. The other two seemed to notice that as well.

      “Are you sure?” Chanyeol teased. “Don't think we haven't noticed how you act with him! I think it could easily become love!”

      “Why would it? He's a robot! He's not something that can be loved as more than a possession or a pet. If you guys are pushing for me to fall in love with him, I'd have to question whether you really had the best intentions for me...”

      “Calm down! It's a joke, ok?” Kyungsoo griped. “You're starting to sound like Xiumin with your arguments...”

      “It happens when you live with a robot,” Baekhyun shrugged.

      “Speaking of robots, there's Xiumin now,” Chanyeol commented, pointing to the robot. “Hey Xiumin!!!” He called while waving.

 

      The robot spotted Chanyeol immediately upon hearing his name and bowed slightly at him in greeting. Xiumin then walked over to Baekhyun and handed him an envelope.

      “This is my first paycheck. Since I don't have an account yet, the shop owner couldn't just transfer it in. I need to have one within the next few weeks though.” Baekhyun sighed.

      “Alright. We'll figure out a way to add you to my account, ok?”

      “For now, though,” Kyungsoo interrupted. “Let's go to the movies!”

      “The movies?” Xiumin asked, cocking his head to the side. Baekhyun forced back a smile at the action.

      “Yeah, let's get out and have a little fun,” Kyungsoo continued. “Baekhyun needs it too.”

      “Is that so?” Xiumin asked, looking at his owner. Baekhyun flushed and cleared his throat.

      “Not really...But you've never been to the movies, have you?”

      “No.”

      “Would you like to go?”

      “That depends on whether you would like to go.”

      “No, I want you to decide, Xiumin,” Baekhyun insisted.

 

      He wanted Xiumin to make his own decisions when it came to exploring new things. He knew it was a pointless feeling to have, but he didn't want to just force things on Xiumin. He wanted the robot to be in charge of what he chose to learn and experience.

      “If you want to go see a movie, we will. If you don't, we'll go home,” Baekhyun clarified, trying to make the choices clearer. There was a moment of silence.

      “I would like to go,” Xiumin finally answered.

      “Then count us in, Kyungsoo.”

      “Alright, let's get going!” Said boy shouted.

 

      They all 'conveniently' piled into Baekhyun's car and headed for the theater. Xiumin looked around curiously as they stood in line to buy their tickets. Chanyeol ultimately ended up choosing the movie, since Kyungsoo didn't care and wouldn't be paying attention anyway, too busy eating popcorn, and Baekhyun and Xiumin didn't even know what kind of movies were playing in the theater. As soon as they had their tickets, they waited in the concession lines and bought food. Again, Xiumin purchased the cheapest items on the menu, which were still expensive because movie theater food was horrendously overpriced. Baekhyun was sad that Xiumin couldn't even enjoy the taste of popcorn and candy while watching the movie though. It felt like he would be missing a huge part of the experience. There Baekhyun went, feeling sad for a robot again. It was uncanny how much Xiumin made Baekhyun feel. As soon as they had their food, the headed to the auditorium and sat through several ads before the lights dimmed and the movie finally started.

 

      It wasn't a particularly phenomenal or attention grabbing movie, so Baekhyun often found himself glancing over at Xiumin instead. He couldn't help but giggle to himself at how invested in the movie Xiumin was. It wasn't like he needed to blink because he was a robot, but Xiumin still made sure to do so at regular intervals to appear more human-like. Watching the movie, however, he was staring unblinking at the screen. Baekhyun would have to play more films for him at their apartment. The robot obviously enjoyed watching them.

 

      After the movie ended, the group decided to go to a restaurant, even though they'd just eaten food at the movies. Everyone ordered something small, mostly just to eat some food with a little more substance than popcorn. As soon as they had their food in front of them, the group began to talk about the movie they'd just watched. Chanyeol were babbling on about how beautiful it was, while Kyungsoo was humming and nodding along, adding his own small comments here and there but mostly enjoying listening to his boyfriend talk. Baekhyun was surprised Kyungsoo had paid attention to the movie at all, since it wasn't even a genre he liked. Since Kyungsoo and Chanyeol seemed wrapped up in their own conversation, Baekhyun decided to ask Xiumin about the movie instead.

      “So what did you think?” He asked quietly.

      “Overall, the plot felt lacking. The characters were very shallow and if I'm not mistaken, very stereotypical for the genre, especially the lead female. The cinematography itself was decent though,” Xiumin listed off.

 

      Baekhyun hadn't been expecting such a detailed answer, which might have been why he laughed so hard as soon as Xiumin had finished, earning surprised looks from Kyungsoo and Chanyeol. Baekhyun would have just thought the robot would give a simple answer as always, but all the time he spent reading Baekhyun's textbooks had apparently paid off.

      “You managed to get all that while watching?” He asked, trying to calm down from his laughing fit.

      “Yes. Should we not look for those things when we watch films?”

      “Well, you don't _have_ to look for them. But I do agree with you,” Baekhyun said, keeping his voice down so he didn't hurt Chanyeol's feelings while critiquing the film. “The movie wasn't as good as some others I've seen. We'll have to watch some at home during our time off.”

      “I would like that,” Xiumin agreed, a smile gracing his face.

 

      Baekhyun stared wide-eyed at the robot. Xiumin had never smiled like this before. Baekhyun hadn't thought it was possible for him to. Was smiling something that he was programmed to do or was that something else? Xiumin was such a mystery to Baekhyun when he acted like this. When he was almost human.

      “That's the first time you've actually had a preference for something...” Baekhyun mumbled.

      “Is that bad?” Xiumin asked, a hint of worry in his voice. There it was again, that human reaction.

      “No! It's great! I want you to speak like that more often. I want you to have preferences and opinions,” Baekhyun quickly countered.

      “Understood.”

      “Aaaaaaaand back to robot lingo,” Chanyeol sighed.

 

      Xiumin just looked at him in confusion and Baekhyun smiled to himself. Perhaps Xiumin really was just programmed by a genius to act like a human. Baekhyun had to be over-thinking it, though he wasn't sure why it was so disappointing to tell himself that.

 

      The conversation drifted from topic to topic and they stayed at the table long past when they'd finished their food. Eventually, Chanyeol was in a heated conversation with Xiumin, arguing about the acting abilities of the leads in the movie, so Baekhyun took that time to ask Kyungsoo more about his boyfriend.

      “So, how did you really find him?” He asked. Kyungsoo just smiled and glanced at his boyfriend with affection.

      “He's in a few of my classes. We just started talking. We came out to each other a little while later, and soon enough, I was asking him out on a date.”

      “So he said yes and now you're dating. It's really weird to think of you asking someone out, no offense.”

      “None taken. I felt the same way. I was really nervous at first. I mean, I wasn't sure I was ready for a serious relationship...”

      “But you two seem really happy despite that. You've been treating him right?”

      “Of course. I could never mistreat him. I think...I'm really attached to him, Baekhyun. I haven't ever felt this strongly for someone before...”

      “I'm happy for you,” Baekhyun said genuinely. He leaned closer after that and lowered his voice. “This is going to be a bit blunt, but I want to know...Have you slept with him yet?”

      “No, actually. We've been going out for two months so far. And I'm actually really not in a hurry to sleep with him, and I don't think he is either. Relationships heavily based on sex aren't usually healthy for you and me, so...It's nice this way.”

      “Yeah...” Baekhyun sighed, grimacing as a few bad memories flooded his mind.

      “I wanna treasure him,” Kyungsoo continued. “I know it sounds cheesy, but I want to take it slow and relish all the butterflies and shit.”

      “Yeah, you're right. It's cheesy and gross, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun teased. “But I really am happy for you.”

      “Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Kyungsoo huffed, getting prickly again. “ I hope someday you can be too.”

      “Me too...”

 

      The conversation died down a little while after that. Baekhyun's mood had dropped a bit as he thought about Kyungsoo's words, but watching Xiumin interact cheered him up. Xiumin really was like a pet in that just his presence could cheer Baekhyun up. It was nice to finally have someone, or rather something, like that in his life.

 

      When they were finished, Baekhyun drove Chanyeol and Kyungsoo back to the school parking lot, where their cars were still parked. After they all said their goodbyes and went separate ways, Baekhyun turned his attention back to Xiumin and smiled.

      “Ready to go home?” He asked the robot.

      “Yes.”

 

      Baekhyun nodded and reached for Xiumin's hand, daring to hold it for a moment. He was pleasantly surprised when the robot's fingers intertwined with his own, gripping back tightly. It was definitely a feeling he could get used to, perhaps even addicted to. They broke apart a short while later and got back in Baekhyun's car. Smiles graced both their faces the entire ride home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, it is I, your author who still takes longer than intended to update her fics OTL  I kinda hit some writer's block (not like I was stuck in the plot but the motivation went away and I had to drag it back kicking and screaming) on the current chapter I'd been writing, so took me a little bit longer to get this one up.  I meant to mention this last AN but I forgot, so I'll mention it in this one.  I don't usually put warnings on my fics cuz I don't delve too deeply (I don't think) into the dark areas (though my fantasy fics definitely get a violence warning >.>).  Anyways, just wanted to say this fic will deal with some emotional/sexual abuse as well as slut shaming.  The former of the two will not be in great detail and most of it will be in the past (briefly discussed in conversations rather than written out in scenes).  But I'm trying to do better with the whole warning thing, so I just wanted to throw that out there before we get to some of the upcoming chapters (uh-oh!).  Nothing too terrible will befall any of our characters (at least regarding those two things >.>) and they won't do anything terrible to each other, so yeah, don't panic.  Sorry if this is a really awkward AN now OTL


	3. Chapter 3

      Baekhyun and Xiumin spent the rest of the weekend curled up on the former's bed, watching movies on his laptop. After each movie, Xiumin would give his analysis and opinion. For the most part, he had similar views to Baekhyun, although he was much harsher in his judgment. Since he was a robot, he was precise and hypercritical about everything. It was endearing to Baekhyun though. If he didn't know any better, he would say that Xiumin really was making his own opinions rather than acting on a program and his recently gained knowledge of cinematography. Sometimes, Baekhyun would forget for a bit that Xiumin was a robot and not an actual person. Remembering the truth was always disappointing, though Baekhyun wasn't entirely sure why. He told himself it was because he wanted a real friend, but there was something else growing uncomfortably in his chest. If it got any worse, he would be completely convinced that he'd lost his mind.

 

      Monday came far quicker than Baekhyun would have liked. It was one of his longer days at school, so he knew he was going to be exhausted by the end. Xiumin would be working all day to pass the time, so Baekhyun took some comfort in the fact that he wouldn't be home alone. He knew Xiumin didn't really feel loneliness, but Baekhyun was still too concerned for the robot for his own good. Or perhaps he was just projecting his own loneliness onto Xiumin. If Baekhyun could take comfort in one thing, it was that he didn't have to work that evening, so he would be able to come home, rest, and spend time with Xiumin. Perhaps they could watch another movie together.

 

      He dropped the robot off at his workplace on the way to school. Back when Xiumin first got the job, they'd argued about taking Xiumin to and from work. Baekhyun wanted to drive back to Xiumin's work and pick him up there when he was done, but the robot insisted on walking to school and meeting Baekhyun there. Xiumin's reasoning was not to waste more gas than necessary, though his work really wasn't that far out of the way. In the end, they agreed that Baekhyun would take him there in the morning, then Xiumin would walk to his school and meet him after his shifts. The cafe was only about 15-20 minutes away from the college, so Baekhyun wasn't too worried about Xiumin making the walk. He was a robot after all. It wasn't like he would get tired or his feet would hurt.

 

      The school day dragged on slower than usual for Baekhyun. He had to wonder if it was just because his classes were exceptionally boring that day or if it was because he was dying to see Xiumin again. He'd already gotten so attached to the robot, even though he'd only had him a little over a month. He must have been more starved for attention than he'd realized, since he was getting so dependent on a machine. Xiumin felt like so much more than that though. Baekhyun couldn't explain it, but there was _definitely_ something there. There had to be, for him to like Xiumin this much. Baekhyun was lonely and desperate, but he wasn't irrational.

 

      Finally, his last class of the day ended, and he tiredly packed his bag then slung it over his shoulder. When he left the building, the sun was almost done setting in the sky. He groaned in response and began to walk quickly. He hated being on campus at night. It wasn't a safe environment, especially for him. To make matters worse, he always had to pass by the dormitories in order to get to the parking lot. Of all the places he didn't want to be after dark, that was on the top of the list.

 

      He clung to the strap of his bag nervously and kept his head low. The dormitories had been his living space once, and that had been where everything went wrong. He'd lost any amount of respect for himself in that place, and everyone that still lived there never had any respect for him to begin with. All they cared about was that Baekhyun was someone they could _use_. He had been used and thrown out time and again, and back then, Baekhyun had genuinely thought that was all he was good for. It took crashing hard and losing almost everything for him to realize that he wouldn't survive that kind of life. He'd gotten out of that place as soon as he could, but the memories and fear still haunted him. It would be especially bad if someone from the dorm recognized him, so Baekhyun tried his hardest to slink by every Monday night and remain unnoticed. He knew his luck would run out eventually, but he hadn't expected it would be that night.

 

      He'd made it almost completely past the dormitory with no problems. He'd known that he would still have to wait for Xiumin to arrive before he could go home, but if he could get to the safety of his car, everything would be alright. As he moved forward, however, something strong wrapped around his wrist and pulled him backwards. He'd hoped it was Xiumin, since he had a strong grip like this, but as he was thrown harshly against the wall of the dormitory, he knew it wasn't. Instead, a taller guy with fairly developed musculature was hovering over him, caging him against the wall with his arms and body.

      “Well, well. What have we here?” The man taunted.

      “Excuse me?” Baekhyun asked, feigning ignorance.

 

      He wanted nothing more than to run for his life. He recognized the person looming over him, but he couldn't let it show. He couldn't let the man know how terrified he was. He had to get away before things got out of hand. This man had _used_ him before, and Baekhyun knew he would no doubt want to do it again. Anyone that recognized Baekhyun at the dorms always wanted the same thing.

      “Come on, you remember me! You said I was one of the best times you had.”

 

      The second sentence was whispered huskily into Baekhyun's ear, hot breath and words causing him to flinch. Baekhyun remembered everything about this man, the rough hands, the cruel words, the lies Baekhyun had told him so that the man wouldn't hurt him more. He'd been one of the worst, and unfortunately most frequent, of Baekhyun's encounters. Baekhyun could feel his eyes watering again as the memories flooded his mind and he felt trapped and defenseless in the man's arms. He couldn't lose his cool, however. He was stronger now. He would stand his ground.

      “And? What's your point?” Baekhyun asked, sounding standoffish despite how he was breaking down inside.

      “I saw you the other day. You were with some guy, holding his hand and everything. Are you taking people again? I hope so. I've missed you...” The man let his hand drop down to Baekhyun's hip, rubbing it in a way that was far too intimate for Baekhyun's liking.

      “Let go!” Baekhyun hissed.

 

      He pushed the man's hand away, only for his wrist to be grabbed and pinned to the wall instead. This guy had seen Baekhyun with Xiumin. It was all a massive understanding, but Baekhyun found himself not wanting to deny it. He would much rather be mistaken for dating Xiumin and be considered off-limits. Then again, this guy had it in his mind that Xiumin was just a one-night thing, like most of Baekhyun's encounters had been. He didn't want this again. He never wanted to go back to the way he used to be.

      “I'm not sleeping with anyone! What the hell makes you think you can treat me this way?”

      “What makes you think people should actually respect you?” The man snapped back, causing Baekhyun to jump. “Don't kid yourself. Even if you stayed clean for a hundred years, people would still treat you like the disgusting shit you are, so just suck it up and take it.”

 

      The man pressed his knee in between Baekhyun's legs, gently rubbing against his crotch. Baekhyun's entire body froze in horror and he let out a small whimper. This couldn't be happening. He didn't want this. Not with _him._ Baekhyun was more than just someone to be toyed with and thrown out. He wanted better than this. His disgusting body was betraying him though, responding exactly the way the man wanted him to.

      “You like that?” The man asked mockingly. “Of course you would. This was all you were ever good for. Why play hard to get?”

      “Stop!” Baekhyun pleaded, voice tense. “I'm not sleeping around anymore and I'm definitely not sleeping with you!” He shouted, trying to push the man off, but it was no use given the massive difference in their body types.

      “What was that, you little whore?” The man growled, digging his knee forcefully into Baekhyun's crotch, causing him to cry out in pain with tears threatening to fall from his eyes. “You think you can play hard to get when you're such a dirty slut!?”

      “Excuse me. What's going on?” A third, somewhat monotone voice suddenly asked.

 

      Baekhyun and the man both glanced in the direction of the voice and saw none other than Xiumin. Baekhyun's heart swelled with both relief and humiliation. Of all the ways for Xiumin to find out how low Baekhyun had stooped, this was probably the worst.

      “Who the fuck are you?” The man grunted.

      “X-Xiumin...” Baekhyun whimpered.

      “So you know him?” The man asked Xiumin, pointing at Baekhyun “Were you the one he was fucking the other day? Tell me, is he still as good as he used to be? Or was it your first time with him?”

      “We haven't done anything like that!” Baekhyun snapped, completely humiliated. He couldn't bring himself to look at Xiumin.

      “Oh really?” The man taunted. “So then is he supposed to be your boyfriend?” He asked, towering over Baekhyun. “Does he know about all the disgusting things you've done for other men? Probably not, huh? If he did, I bet he wouldn't stick around.”

      “Stop...” Baekhyun begged, tears finally falling down his face.

 

      He closed his eyes and waited for things to fall apart, for Xiumin to leave and for the man to drag him away. He'd been an idiot to think his life would get better just because he left the place that was tormenting him. He was still the same worthless, powerless person he was a year ago, and everyone still saw him as nothing more than a tool. That would probably never change.

 

      All Baekhyun wanted to do was go home and hide. He'd just wanted a nice evening with Xiumin, not to be reminded of every single thing he'd done wrong in his life and why he hated himself so much. He just wanted all of this to disappear, for _himself_ to disappear. He was surprised when he felt the man's presence leave suddenly. He opened his eyes and found Xiumin had pushed the man away from him and was standing in front of him, almost defensively.

      “I think it's time you leave,” Xiumin said menacingly, which surprised Baekhyun because Xiumin hardly ever sounded emotional. The man merely scoffed at him.

      “What? You still want him? Too bad he doesn't sleep with people two nights in a row. You can have him again when I'm done with him.”

      “That isn't an option,” Xiumin said darkly.

      “What did you say?” The man growled.

      “You're upsetting him and inflicting injury upon him. I don't think you have the right to have any sexual interactions with him.”

      “Whatever! I found him first, so he's mine for the taking!” The man tried to get around Xiumin, but the robot held him firmly in place.

      “Get away,” Xiumin said harshly. “I will hurt you if need be.”

      “Why don't you fuck off!”

 

      The man sent a fist flying straight at Xiumin's face. With little effort, the robot grabbed his wrist and began crushing it in his own grasp. The man struggled and sent a kick towards Xiumin's side, which hit, but had no effect on the robot. If anything, it hurt the man's foot more than the robot. After receiving a few more feeble hits, Xiumin grabbed the man's other wrist and threw him into the nearby garbage pile. When the robot was about to walk over to him to continue his barrage, Baekhyun grabbed his wrist.

      “Just leave it,” he said quietly. “Let's just go home...”

 

      Xiumin turned to him and nodded after a moment. It almost seemed like the robot was angry, like he wanted to hurt that man, and it scared Baekhyun a little. At the same time, he felt safe with Xiumin at his side. The man hadn't gotten up from where Xiumin had thrown him yet, so the robot took that time to escort Baekhyun away. As they were walking to his car, Xiumin wrapped his arm around Baekhyun's waist, making sure he didn't lose his footing. Baekhyun hadn't realized how badly he was trembling until he'd tried to walk. When they made it into the car, Baekhyun got in immediately, locking the doors as soon as Xiumin was inside as well. He leaned his forehead on the wheel, taking deep breaths and trying to calm down. The robot said nothing, but he reached for one of Baekhyun's hands, giving it comforting squeezes. Baekhyun didn't know what to make of such an action. He didn't think Xiumin was capable of providing comfort, but Baekhyun didn't want him to let go. They had to go home though, and the sooner the better. Baekhyun took another deep breath and pulled away from Xiumin to start the car. A They drove home in complete silence after that.

 

      When they got to the apartment, Baekhyun walked in aimlessly, wanting nothing more than to curl up in his bed and never leave again. This had to be the worst day he'd had in a long time. Unfortunately, he was denied the refuge of his bed when Xiumin grabbed him gently by both shoulders as he was walking and span him around to face him. Instead, Baekhyun was pushed down until he was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring up at Xiumin. There was something different about the robot's expression. Baekhyun had never seen Xiumin look so worried and concerned before.

      “Are you ok?” The robot asked quietly. Baekhyun smiled weakly and nodded.

      “Yeah, I'm fine. I'm used to that kind of treatment by now.”

      “You shouldn't be. That was cruelty.”

      “You obviously didn't hear everything he said then. I was a total slut. I slept with more men than I can count, and I did...a lot of things. It's not the first time people have pushed me around or gotten in a fight over sleeping with me...though I never understood why they did in the past. I would sleep with both fighters in the end. I was...really loose...”

      “That doesn't mean you should be subjected to that behavior.”

      “It feels like I should be.”

      “So you're just going to give up and let yourself be treated like that?”

      “What else am I supposed to do!?” Baekhyun finally shouted. “I haven't slept around in so long but I still have the reputation as one of the biggest whores on campus! No one is going to treat me like I'm worth anything because I'm not! They aren't going to treat me any differently even if I've changed, so all I can do is hide and hope nobody finds me. Tonight I just wasn't so lucky...”

 

      Xiumin was silent, unsure of what to say to him. It was a strange feeling, not knowing how to comfort his owner. It wasn't like Xiumin didn't know methods of comfort either. The robot just knew that they wouldn't help Baekhyun in the state he was in. Xiumin didn't know what would help him, and that was probably the strangest thing. He was a fast learner, but here, he was genuinely stumped on what the solution would be. Baekhyun noticed the robot's lack of words and sighed, hugging his knees to his chest.

      “Sorry...I shouldn't be yelling at you. I should be thanking you...” He mumbled

      “For what?” Xiumin asked, cocking his head to the side like he always did when he was confused.

      “For ya know...helping me in that situation and stuff...”

      “It's my duty to ensure that my owner is happy and safe. That man was threatening you, so I put a stop to it.”

      “Oh...That's all it was,” Baekhyun muttered sadly. “But still, thank you. If you hadn't helped me, I honestly probably would have gone to him...”

      “Why? He hurt you. Is it because he was threatening you into submission?”

      “Yeah, that's part of it...”

      “Part of it?”

      “Listen, I...I used to sleep around a _lot_. Being without it for so long, I get urges. I want to do it right this time, with someone that loves me who will treat me well...but no one is going to treat me like that. I'm fooling myself holding onto that daydream. Maybe he was right. Maybe all I'm good for in the end is an easy fuck.”

      “I don't think that's the case,” Xiumin said firmly. “There are many people in this world. To assume no one would want you is simply idiotic. It's not healthy to sleep with someone who hurts you. To view yourself in this way is detrimental to both your physical and mental health.” Baekhyun laughed bitterly at the robot's words.

      “You're right...But I'm not that strong. I get hurt easily and I let others hurt me when I shouldn't. I've tried to change, but I don't know if I can.”

 

      Xiumin said nothing, but knelt in front of Baekhyun. He had never seen Baekhyun this upset before, but he knew it wouldn't be good for him to stay this way. There had to be something Xiumin could do to help him. He placed his hands on the boy's knees and looked up at him with a serious expression. It was unnerving to Baekhyun, to say the least.

      “If you feel the need to sleep with someone, you can use me,” Xiumin stated.

 

      That was the last thing Baekhyun had wanted to hear though. Xiumin was too special for him to corrupt and ruin. Baekhyun wouldn't be able to bear it if Xiumin were to become disgusted with him as well. He knew he was a robot and that judgment and disgust weren't things he was capable of feeling, but Xiumin's actions felt so real sometimes. He felt so human, and Baekhyun loved and feared that about him. He _really_ cared about the robot and what he thought about him.

      “I don't want to use you for something like that...” Baekhyun whispered.

      “I'm built for that sort of function though,” Xiumin reminded him. “I'm here to help you, so let me. Why is it bad to sleep with me, but it's alright to sleep with someone who hurt you and was mistreating you? I don't understand, Baekhyun. Why?”

      “I'm scared...” Baekhyun whispered.

      “Of what?” Xiumin asked, cocking his head to the side once more.

 

      Baekhyun couldn't help the small smile that pulled onto his lips briefly. Xiumin always looked cute when he did that. Now wasn't the time to be doting on the robot, however. If anything, it was the time to be pulling away, before he ruined the only good thing still in his life.

      “I don't want to use you for something like that. I don't want to become addicted to you...and I don't want you to hate me because of it. You're more than a sex toy to me...You're...”

 

      He cut himself off, not knowing the right words to say. It really sounded like he was going to confess something, but that couldn't be. He couldn't feel anything for a robot. He didn't want to lose Xiumin for any reason though. Xiumin was far too important to him. The robot rubbed his knees gently, trying to sooth him.

      “It's alright. I won't hate you. If it will help you and make you feel better, I'll sleep with you. If you think about it, I'm the ideal partner because I can't carry any diseases. My stamina also doesn't run out until my battery does, and my battery has a long life.” Baekhyun snorted, shaking his head. Xiumin really was something else

      “You have no sense of mood, do you?” Baekhyun sighed. Xiumin just stared at him in confusion. Baekhyun took a deep breath before getting back to the topic at hand. “Are you sure you want to? You aren't obligated to do this just because of how I'm feeling. I want this to be your choice.” Xiumin stood up and hovered over him, pushing him gently backwards, onto his elbows.

      “I want to help you,” Xiumin stated. “Sleeping with you will make you feel better and keep you from going to that man, right? Then I want to sleep with you.”

      “Your logic is pretty simplistic...”

      “It's efficient,” Xiumin corrected Baekhyun smiled softly and laid the rest of the way down on the bed, letting out a shaky breath.

      “Ok...Let's do it. Can you turn off the lights though?”

      “Understood.” Xiumin got up off the bed and headed over to the switch, flicking it off.

      “And no kissing or foreplay or anything...I don't want to do those sorts of things. Let's just...keep it limited...”

      “If that's what you wish for.”

      “I don't want them...” Baekhyun repeated.

 

      He'd never allowed people to kiss him or treat him particularly lovingly during sex. Those were actions reserved for love and healthy relationships, and Baekhyun had never had those. He had quickly decided people weren't allowed to kiss him, when he realized how attached it made him feel. His heart wouldn't be able to take the heartbreak when he was thrown away by someone that treated him as if he were something special. As much as he didn't want to admit it, the same rule applied to Xiumin. If Baekhyun got attached to the robot, his world really would come crashing to an end.

      “I understand,” Xiumin replied simply. “Do you have some lubrication in your house for this sort of occasion?”

      “It's in the third drawer of my bedside table...” Baekhyun mumbled, a shy blush rising on his cheeks.

      “Understood.”

 

      Baekhyun sighed and ran his hands over his face. He heard Xiumin fumbling around the room and he squeezed his eyes shut. He was really going to go through with this. He'd gone so long without sex, but in the end, his body craved it and he wasn't strong enough to resist the urge. He took some relief in what Xiumin had mentioned earlier though. He would be safe sleeping with him, safer than he had been before, and Xiumin always listened to him, so Baekhyun knew if he wanted the robot to stop, he would. Xiumin had never judged him for something before. Hopefully this time would be the same.

 

      Xiumin returned to the bed a short while later and leaned over him. Baekhyun was surprised to find that Xiumin's clothes had already been discarded. The robot cocked his head to the side and looked down at him.

      “Do you wish to remain fully clothed? If so, this might complicate the action...”

      “No, no! I'll take my clothes off now...” Baekhyun gasped.

 

      He sat up and shakily fumbled with his shirt until he eventually got it over his head. Xiumin unfastened Baekhyun's pants and smoothly slid them off along with his boxers, leaving him naked on the bed. Xiumin hovered over Baekhyun and the latter gulped, hands on either side of his head leaving him open and exposed. Xiumin leaned closer to him, staring into his eyes with an expression that Baekhyun couldn't even begin to read.

      “Are you sure you do not wish for any foreplay or forms of affection?”

      “Positive,” Baekhyun answered. He couldn't become that intimate with Xiumin.

      “Then I would like to ask you to spread your legs. It will make things much easier.”

      “Yeah...Um, Xiumin...”

      “Yes?”

      “Try not to sound so robotic. It's kinda awkward, given the situation.”

      “Understoo- Or rather, I'll try.” Baekhyun giggled a bit.

      “Thank you.”

 

      He spread his legs and tried to calm his rather erratic breathing. He could hear Xiumin uncapping the bottle of lube and squirting it on his fingers. His body was tingling with both fear and excitement as he waited, and he hated himself for feeling so elated. He'd wanted to avoid sleeping with someone until the time and the person felt right, but that was too much to ask of himself. He knew sleeping with Xiumin would end up being something he regretted, but he couldn't stop. His body craved it, and oddly his heart craved it as well. He wanted to tell himself it was just because he was dying for affection on some level, but a deeper part of him knew it had to do with those weird feelings growing inside him. This was only going to make things more complicated, but he _wanted_ this. As afraid as he was of his feelings and what would happen in the future, Baekhyun wanted Xiumin. He wanted to feel safe and satiated.

 

      He felt a slightly cold, slick finger press against his entrance. It slid in seconds later, causing him to gasp. He really had missed this. He must have become far more sensitive during his abstinence, because as Xiumin thrust his finger in and out of him, he couldn't help but moan uncontrollably. As Xiumin continued to insert fingers slowly and stretch him out, Baekhyun found himself pushing against the robot's fingers, meeting his thrusts and trying to force his fingers deeper inside. All shame Baekhyun had been feeling was almost immediately replaced with lust and _need_.

 

      His body almost ached when Xiumin finally removed his fingers, but it was quickly rewarded again when Xiumin's length pressed against his entrance. The robot cautiously pushed in and Baekhyun's back arched completely off the bed. He needed _more_. He pushed himself against Xiumin, aiding the other as he continued to enter him. When he felt Xiumin's body pressed against his thighs, he finally let out a contented moan. How had he gone so long without this feeling?

 

      Without saying anything, Xiumin pulled out and thrust back into Baekhyun. The latter let out a shameless moan and gripped Xiumin's shoulders, reeling from the feeling. He was definitely more sensitive and out of practice, but it felt so _good_. As Xiumin thrust into him again, his back arched and his fingers dug into the synthetic skin. Another thrust had his toes curling and him clinging to Xiumin like his life depended on it. He was so sensitive, but there was also something in the way that Xiumin moved, that was sending him even further into the clouds.

 

      He adjusted his hips slightly and continued to receive Xiumin's thrusts, meeting them with his own. It wasn't enough though. He'd been deprived for so long, it felt like he had to make up for it all at once. He wrapped his legs around Xiumin and pressed him closer, letting him reach deeper inside him. When it _still_ wasn't enough, he leaned closer to whisper into the Xiumin's ear.

      “Harder, please...”

 

      He hadn't really been one for rough sex when he slept around, but nothing seemed to be completely satisfying him. It was like now that he'd taken the plunge, he couldn't stop falling. Xiumin nodded and did as told, ramming into Baekhyun. The boy gasped and let out a high pitched moan, one he'd normally hate himself for making, but he really couldn't have cared about anything. Xiumin didn't look at him like he was a freak. He didn't do anything of the sort, just continued to thrust into him.

 

      When Xiumin hit Baekhyun's prostate, the latter made an especially loud moan that actually caused Xiumin to pause with worry. The boy just whined though, pushing himself against the robot and practically begging for more. He normally wouldn't have acted like this. In fact, he hated when anyone acted like this, but he was desperate. It was downright pathetic. He'd lost most of his self-respect long ago though, so stooping a little lower in his time of need was hardly something that would break him. Baekhyun was a little embarrassed, but as always, Xiumin simply listened to him without saying anything. It was a different response for Baekhyun, who was used to being ridiculed and talked down to the entire time someone was having sex with him, but it was nice.

 

      Xiumin continued his actions, just as rough as before. As he sped up, it was almost too much for Baekhyun to take. He didn't bother trying to contain the moans and shouts coming out of his mouth. It would be a pointless fight trying to control himself when Xiumin was repeatedly hitting his sweet spot. Instead, he just tried to match Xiumin's pace. His stomach tightened and he knew he was approaching his limit. It was faster than before, but between not having sex for so long and Xiumin's rough, precise thrusts, it made sense that he wouldn't last much longer.

 

      After a few more strong thrusts, Baekhyun reached his high, cumming over his and Xiumin's chests. Feeling the boy tense around his member, Xiumin's own release triggered. Baekhyun realized in their haste they hadn't put a condom on Xiumin, but it didn't really matter. Baekhyun relished the afterglow, the few moments when he was breathing harshly and staring up at Xiumin with a dazed expression, his eyes not entirely focused. He'd missed this far more than he'd realized.

 

      Xiumin's face seemed void of any expression, but Baekhyun expected that. The strange look in Xiumin's eyes seemed to have disappeared, which disappointed Baekhyun a little, but it was to be expected. He briefly, painfully reminded himself that Xiumin wasn't human. There wouldn't ever be affection in this action, but it was ok. At least, Baekhyun told himself it was. He was used to receiving crueler gazes, ones that looked at him like he was some pet or toy to be abused. Xiumin's neutral gaze was far more appealing than what he usually received. _Xiumin_ was far more appealing, though Baekhyun was a little afraid to admit it.

 

      When he'd rested a bit, he found his body aching for more. He already knew he was going to be sore the following day, but he could afford one or two more rounds. No, he needed more. He leaned up and whispered into Xiumin's ear, probably a bit more seductively than was necessary, but Baekhyun was hardly in control of himself. Thankfully, Xiumin complied silently, sending Baekhyun over the clouds again. This was definitely better than anything he'd experienced in the past. Baekhyun felt his heart beat faster and a smile bloomed on his face. He felt genuinely happy for the first time in years.

 

      Finally, after a few more rounds, Baekhyun felt sated and exhausted. He knew he was going to regret everything once he'd slept and cleared his mind, but for now, he was happy, and that was all that mattered to him. He closed his eyes and slumber overtook him easily. Xiumin remained awake, staring down at the mess on Baekhyun's stomach. He walked to the bathroom and wet a washcloth, cleaning himself off, then proceeding to do the same to Baekhyun. After, he picked Baekhyun up gently, pulling the covers back and tucking him into bed. As Xiumin finished pulling the comforter up to Baekhyun's chin, a notification sounded in his head that his battery supply was low. His body was sluggish and no longer responding to the commands Xiumin was giving it. Rather than heading back to the corner where he usually sat and recharged, he fell onto the bed beside Baekhyun, entering his charging mode and more or less falling asleep beside the boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo that escalated quickly XP  And remember how I warned you of future emotional baggage and angst, HERE IT COOOOOOOOOMES~  Poor Baekhyun OTL  I torture him in like 75% of my fics OTL  I SWEAR I DON'T DO IT IN EVERY FIC!  But this one he will be a sad little bean.  Then again everyone will be sad beans in this fic because you guys know me OTL  I don't have much else to say about this chapter though other than I hope it doesn't suck OTL


	4. Chapter 4

      Baekhyun groaned as his first alarm clock went off. He reached out and smacked his hand down on it, turning it off. He slowly sat up in bed, hissing and wincing as his lower back throbbed. Memories of the night before flashed through his head and Baekhyun leaned forward, groaning into his hands. He'd really slept with Xiumin, and he'd _enjoyed_ it. How was he supposed to face Xiumin now, after showing such an atrocious side of himself?

 

      He glanced to the side and gasped when he realized Xiumin was beside him, eyes closed and seemingly asleep. Normally the robot sat in the corner of the room and recharged. Why was he in Baekhyun's bed? It wasn't like he minded. In fact, he actually preferred sleeping with someone else, not liking how big his bed was when he slept in it alone. He was just surprised that Xiumin had decided to rest there.

 

      Baekhyun reached his hand out and brushed the synthetic hair from the robot's face. It felt just like human hair, soft and silky. It was long, and while Xiumin usually had it parted in the center with a light wave, right now it was slightly tangled, covering his forehead and hanging into his eyes a little bit. He looked good this way too. Baekhyun brushed some of the hair from the other's face, sighing to himself. Xiumin really was beautiful, like a piece of art. Whoever had built him had created a masterpiece, so high quality he almost felt human. But he wasn't, and that fact filled Baekhyun with more dread each passing day.

 

      Baekhyun jumped when another alarm suddenly went off, only to hiss in pain from jolting his lower back. He painstakingly got out of bed and limped over to his various alarm clocks, turning each of them off. It was _definitely_ not a good idea to have rough sex with a robot. Baekhyun could barely move because of how sore he was. He'd gotten a few bruises from Xiumin's strong grip as well. It made sense, given he was a robot. Baekhyun would definitely have to be careful from now on. Then again, he probably wouldn't be sleeping with Xiumin again for numerous reasons, guilt and self-loathing being two pretty big ones. Xiumin had only done that to help Baekhyun out of his weird mood. It didn't mean anything. Admitting that fact was just as painful as admitting Xiumin wasn't human, to Baekhyun's dismay.

 

      Xiumin made a small groaning noise and Baekhyun walked back over to the bed curiously. He hadn't ever heard Xiumin make a sound like that when he woke up from his charging time.. Granted, he was rarely up when Xiumin exited his charging mode since he was a late sleeper, but the few times he had been up, the robot always woke up immediately, eyes shooting wide open, and was soundless. Baekhyun had to wonder if the robot was still worn out from the night before, or worse, if he'd broken him somehow. Baekhyun _would_ break him by having sex with him. He ruined everything he touched.

      “You awake?” He asked softly.

      “Yeah...Did I oversleep?” Xiumin asked, looking confused and somewhat dazed.

 

      Baekhyun raised his eyebrow at the question. The robot usually didn't speak like that, instead using terms like 'charging time.' This was weird. Xiumin was speaking like a normal, tired person would speak first thing in the morning. Perhaps it was just because Baekhyun asked him to sound less robotic the night before while they were having sex. That was probably it. It was just his program updating itself based on Baekhyun's preferences. Deciding not to dwell on it any further, he just smiled and shook his head.

      “It's fine. You can keep sleeping if you want to,” he stated, brushing Xiumin's hair from his eyes. He was surprised when the latter seemed to respond to his touch, closing his eyes and nestling closer. “I probably drained a lot of your battery last night. I can take care of myself this morning.”

 

      Baekhyun got off the bed and began hobbling over to his dresser. He pulled out some clothes and turned back around. Xiumin had pushed himself off the mattress and was staring ahead unfocused. It seemed like he was thinking about something, though Baekhyun didn't know what. Baekhyun walked back over, wishing he could hide his limp a bit better, and bent down, looking into his eyes worriedly. When Xiumin didn't look up at him, Baekhyun ran his fingers through his hair again, causing Xiumin to jump and stare up at him. The robot really was out of it. Had Baekhyun actually broken him?

      “Are you ok?” Baekhyun asked nervously. Xiumin nodded slowly.

      “Just thinking about something,” the robot mumbled. He _was_ thinking then. What about? Was he even able to think more than simple thoughts? “You're limping. Are you alright? Did I hurt you?”

      “I'll be fine. It's not the first time I've limped after rough sex.” Xiumin looked away and Baekhyun swore he seemed embarrassed. What was going on?

      “Will you be able to walk around campus today?”

      “Mhm. Don't worry. I've only got 2 classes today. It won't be bad.”

      “Alright...I'll get up and make breakfast I guess.”

      “You don't have to. If you need more rest, go ahead and rest. I can make breakfast for myself.”

      “But it was my job to make breakfast...” Xiumin muttered. Baekhyun just sighed, ruffling Xiumin's hair a bit. He _may_ have really enjoyed how soft it was.

      “It wasn't your 'job,' Xiumin. It was just something I asked you to do since you were looking for things to do when you first came here. I'll make breakfast today for a change. I'll leave yours in the fridge for when you're ready.”

      “Mine?”

      “Yeah. You seem really worn out. I think I overexerted you last night...and I'm a little worried. I want your battery to charge up again, so you definitely have to eat, ok?”

      “Yeah...”

 

      Xiumin remained in bed while Baekhyun headed off to change into his clothes and putter slowly around the apartment. Baekhyun made them both simple dishes that didn't require a lot of cooking. Normally, he'd put more work into food after sex, but as Xiumin often reminded him, he couldn't taste anything, so it didn't really matter what Baekhyun made, as long as Xiumin could convert it into fuel. When he was finally ready to leave, he went back to his bedroom and knelt by Xiumin's side, running his fingers through his hair gently one last time. He smiled softly before speaking up.

      “I'm gonna go to school now, ok? Make sure you wake up for work or call in sick if you're still tired.”

      “Mm...” Xiumin hummed. Baekhyun was about to get up when the robot spoke again. “I'll pick you up from school today.”

      “You don't have to. I can just drive to your work and grab you when I'm done”

      “No. I'll pick you up,” Xiumin insisted. “I don't want that guy to come after you again.” That instantly took all the fight out of Baekhyun, and he bit his lip, nodding slowly.

      “Ok...I appreciate it,” he mumbled. He forced a smile and dared to rub his thumb along Xiumin's cheek, feeling how soft his skin was despite it being plastic. “Thank you...for everything...”

 

      He got to his feet and made his way to the door, trying not to wince too much with each of his strides. It was going to be a painful day at school. He glanced back over his shoulder one last time, feeling worry settle in the pit of his stomach when Xiumin seemingly went back to sleep. Baekhyun knew blaming himself wouldn't remedy the situation, but he couldn't help it. It was his fault Xiumin was so worn out. He could only hope that it was temporary. Baekhyun didn't think he would be able to forgive himself if Xiumin never recovered fully.

 

~*~

      Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were already sitting at the usual spot, eating their lunches and flirting disgustingly with each other, when Baekhyun arrived. It was a wonder how Baekhyun could put up with the two of them sometimes. Baekhyun tried to hide his limp as he walked over to them, but as he lowered himself down onto a chair across from them at the table, he let out a small hiss. Kyungsoo _definitely_ noticed that. Baekhyun wasn't going to be able to get out of explaining what happened now. Kyungsoo had always been pretty protective of him in these instances. When the pain subsided, he glanced up to find Kyungsoo glaring daggers at him.

      “W-What?” Baekhyun asked weakly.

      “Don't give me the innocent act. What the fuck happened?” Kyungsoo snapped.

      “Kyungsoo...” Chanyeol mumbled nervously. It was his first time seeing Kyungsoo this angry, especially with Baekhyun.

      “Nothing happened. I didn't fall into my old habits again if that's what you're wondering...” Baekhyun sighed.

      “Old habits?” Chanyeol asked, looking between the two of them for answers, but again he was ignored.

      “Then why are you limping like that?” Kyungsoo countered. “I _know_ how you look after you've slept with someone and it was painful, no matter how you try to hide it. Who was it?”

      “Slept with someone? Painful!?” Chanyeol practically squeaked, despite how deep his voice was.

      “I did sleep with someone but it was different from in the past!” Baekhyun grunted under his breath, not wanting to call attention by raising his voice. “He didn't purposefully hurt me.”

      “Yeah, right,” Kyungsoo scoffed. “Tell me who it was, Baekhyun. Why are you covering for them?”

      “Would somebody PLEASE explain what's going on to me!?” Chanyeol finally shouted. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo looked at him with guilty, apologetic expressions.

      “Sorry,” Kyungsoo sighed, rubbing Chanyeol's back and kissing his cheek. “I'll explain everything in more detail later, ok? Baekhyun had sex with someone and he's limping, so I was worried.” Chanyeol nodded slowly, not entirely liking the answer but he wasn't going to argue with Kyungsoo in this state. The latter turned to Baekhyun and sighed. “So? Who did you sleep with and why?”

 

      Baekhyun let out a shaky breath. He knew Kyungsoo would see right through him. Kyungsoo was the only one that ever paid enough attention to Baekhyun and cared for him enough to notice when he was upset or struggling. Baekhyun was afraid to tell him about this though. He knew Kyungsoo had joked about Baekhyun sleeping with Xiumin, but now that he'd _actually_ done that, he couldn't help but feel scared that it would be too much for Kyungsoo to handle. Baekhyun didn't even want to think about all the weird feelings he was having for the robot either. This was an absolute mess.

 

      True to Kyungsoo's nature, he noticed that Baekhyun was anxious. He reached across the table, placing his hand on top of Baekhyun's and giving it a gentle squeeze.

      “You can tell me. It's ok. I won't be mad, I promise. I just want to make sure you're ok,” Kyungsoo said gently. Baekhyun bit his lip and nodded.

      “IsleptwithXiuminandhewastheonewhoaskedme,” he said in one breath and far too quickly for it to be coherent.

      “What?” Chanyeol and Kyungsoo asked simultaneously.

      “I slept with Xiumin...and he was the one who asked me,” Baekhyun mumbled, unable to meet their eyes. He heard both of them gasp. “But I guess I was asking for it in a sense and he obliged me...”

      “Wait...what do you mean?” Kyungsoo asked when he'd recovered from his shock a bit.

      “I...It's embarrassing...”

      “It's ok,” Chanyeol soothed this time. “We won't judge you. Just tell us what happened, ok?” Baekhyun looked at him gratefully and took a deep breath.

      “Well...one of the guys I'd slept with in the past was more or less trying to take me at the dormitory...” He explained quietly.

      “Which guy?” Kyungsoo growled, his hand forming a fist on the table.

 

      Baekhyun could tell he was furious. Kyungsoo had always been extremely overprotective of Baekhyun, ever since they first got to really know each other. As soon as Kyungsoo had learned that people had been hurting Baekhyun, he'd been livid, especially that Baekhyun had hidden it from him for so long and hadn't gone to him for help. Ever since then, Kyungsoo turned into a guard dog any time he so much as expected Baekhyun had been hurt. Sometimes it was overwhelming, but Baekhyun was pretty sure he would have been a disaster without Kyungsoo.

      “I don't even remember his name,” Baekhyun sighed. “But thankfully Xiumin came and fought him off of me. We went back to my apartment and had a rather emotional discussion. I was in a bad state of mind,” Baekhyun whispered, looking at Kyungsoo as if he were a child that knew he'd done something wrong. Kyungsoo simply shook his head and patted his hand. “After that, Xiumin told me that I should sleep with him instead of someone that would hurt me...so I did. That's what happened...”

 

      Kyungsoo nodded and remained silent, still collecting his thoughts. Chanyeol seemed pretty deep in thought too, though Baekhyun didn't know what about. Chanyeol still hardly had any of the details, but there was obviously something on his mind. Finally, he looked at Baekhyun and spoke up.

      “Are you two going out then?” He asked, as if it was a normal thing.

 

      Baekhyun smiled, but there was a hint of sadness in his eyes and a slight pain in his chest. There was no way they could go out. Xiumin wasn't human. He wasn't real. It would be like one of those freaky guys that wanted to date a girl from a video game. It just wasn't possible, and Baekhyun hated how miserable that made him feel. Xiumin made him feel safe, even wanted. Why couldn't he be human?

      “No,” Baekhyun replied softly. “If anything, we're friends with benefits, if you could even call us friends. I mean, he's a robot...” There was the cold, hard truth.

      “I think he's safer for you than sleeping around with other guys though,” Kyungsoo finally spoke. Baekhyun resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

      “Of course he is. He's a robot that can't carry diseases and listens to me without failure. I just didn't want to use him this way...”

      “Can I ask why?” Chanyeol inquired. Kyungsoo looked just as curious. Baekhyun sighed, not sure he could make a convincing argument that didn't make him sound insane.

      “He's special to me, that's all...I know it sounds weird, but I guess you could say his presence in my life is calming. Even if it's against my better judgment, I consider him a friend. But I also can't deny that I liked what we did last night and that I'm tempted to do it again with him...”

      “I don't think that's bad,” Chanyeol comforted, smiling. “I think Xiumin will come to really like you too, even if his reasons for being intimate right now are just to 'help' you. I think he already does like you actually.”

      “How? Can robots actually feel emotions?” Baekhyun asked skeptically. He didn't want to get his hopes up.

      “Who knows?” Chanyeol shrugged. “I think anything is possible. After all, Xiumin exists, doesn't he? I think that's pretty amazing. I'm sure you two can become really close to each other~”

      “Isn't that weird though?” Baekhyun asked. “To feel things for a robot rather than a human being? It's not exactly what I'd consider a 'healthy relationship.'”

      “It's healthier than you've been,” Kyungsoo stated. “At least this way you're safe and only sleeping with one person. And if you like him, maybe you should just let it be. There are plenty of people who grow up single with pets and stuff like that. Maybe a relationship with him is what you'd rather have. Chanyeol and I aren't going to judge you for that, especially since we're the ones who brought him into your life.”

      “I guess you've got a point...Thanks, Kyungsoo, Chanyeol.”

 

      Baekhyun hadn't expected them to be so understanding of it all. In fact, he was pretty sure _he_ was having a harder time coping with his feelings than they were. Was it really ok to just enjoy Xiumin and grow to like him as he had been? The two people he cared about most had basically given their approval. Baekhyun's parents had long since left his life after everything that had happened. He was permanently a disappointment in their eyes, so what more did it matter? Maybe things with Xiumin could really turn into a comfortable, safe living situation. Baekhyun was liking the idea the more he thought about it.

 

      He glanced across the table and noticed Chanyeol looking at him with a mischievous grin. There was no way that boded well. Baekhyun had already learned that when Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were plotting something, it was never good.

      “So?” Chanyeol started, unable to contain his smirk. “How was it?”

      “What?” Baekhyun asked, not following what he was saying.

      “The sex!”

 

      Baekhyun's jaw dropped slightly and he noticed Kyungsoo stare at Chanyeol with wide, horrified eyes. Was he embarrassed for his boyfriend to hear about sex from someone else? It had been all Kyungsoo and Baekhyun had talked about at one time in their lives. Suddenly, an opportunity had arisen to pay Kyungsoo back for the robot prank and all the embarrassment that had ensued, and Baekhyun wasn't going to pass it up.

      “It was honestly some of the best sex I've had,” Baekhyun sighed happily, ignoring Kyungsoo's glare for him to stop. “Seriously! Maybe it's cuz he's a robot, but he was moving perfectly and had great aim and was extra hard and just...ugh! It was amazing! I came so many times. But never have rough sex with a robot...You _will_ feel the aftereffects the following morning.”

      “Ok! That's enough!” Kyungsoo fussed, covering Chanyeol's ears. “I don't need you corrupting my boyfriend!”

      “Why? Cuz you want to corrupt him yourself? I didn't even go into details,” he playfully pouted.

      “Byun Baekhyun, I will break you!”

      “He asked!!! Don't blame me when your boyfriend is the one who started it!”

      “That doesn't mean you have to tell him ALL the details!!! No more!”

 

      Chanyeol just laughed as he watched the two boys bicker with each other. Kyungsoo never failed to cheer Baekhyun up and tell him what he needed to hear, and Chanyeol admired that about his boyfriend. It was fun to see Baekhyun bring out the more panicked side of Kyungsoo as well. He hoped he could have such a deep relationship with both of them, especially Kyungsoo. Even he had his own anxieties that he would have to talk to Kyungsoo about someday. He just hoped Kyungsoo handled it as well as he handled Baekhyun's.

 

~*~

      Later that day, Chanyeol met up with Kyungsoo again after their classes were over. Chanyeol was going to stay over at Kyungsoo's apartment that evening, an action that was becoming more frequent as the days went by. Chanyeol lived in an apartment really far from school, so it was far more convenient for both of them if Chanyeol stayed at Kyungsoo's place. It was always nice for Chanyeol to not have to wake up as early to get to school on time. For Kyungsoo, it was always nice to have Chanyeol over at his house. The apartment felt a little too big for Kyungsoo to live in alone. Chanyeol always made it feel a little warmer and cozier too, though Kyungsoo was still far too shy to admit something like that.

 

      They walked hand in hand to Kyungsoo's car, and not much was said during the drive to his apartment other than small talk about their classes. Even when they got to Kyungsoo's place, his responsible side flared up and he demanded they both finish their homework before they did anything else. He and Chanyeol rarely went beyond cuddling or the occasional wandering hands while making out. When they'd first started going out, Chanyeol had made his boundaries and comfort zones very clear. He'd wanted a slow pace, and after everything Kyungsoo had done in the past, he was ready for one too. He had a rough exterior, but in truth, he loved to be held, especially by Chanyeol. Curling up with him to watch movies or simply talk to each other was his favorite pastime. It was even nicer to press himself against Chanyeol and hold him while they slept. He'd never slept in someone's arms before, and he didn't know how he'd lived before experiencing something like this.

 

      They were laying under the covers in nothing but their underwear, bodies pressed flush against each other. Chanyeol's head was rested on Kyungsoo's chest, while his arm was draped over the other's stomach. He listened silently to the other boy's heartbeat, a sound that never failed to sooth him. Kyungsoo in turn was running his fingers through Chanyeol's hair, carefully untangled it. There was silence for a while, and Kyungsoo figured Chanyeol would probably fall asleep soon enough, but to his surprise, his boyfriend suddenly looked up at him, gaze curious and determined.

      “You never explained what you and Baekhyun were talking about earlier. I kinda figured some things out, but there was still a lot I didn't understand,” he mumbled. He felt Kyungsoo heave a deep sigh and worried if he'd asked something he shouldn't have.

      “It's a bad situation that both of us were involved in...”

      “Is it too personal then?”

      “No, it's honestly something you should know, especially if you're dating me...”

      “What do you mean..?”

 

      The next thing Chanyeol knew, he'd been flung over onto his back and Kyungsoo was hovering over him, propped up on his elbow. A mixture of sadness and worry shown in his eyes and Chanyeol immediately rubbed the other's arm affectionately.

      “Whatever it is, I won't judge you. You know that,” Chanyeol comforted. “You don't have to be afraid to tell me anything.

      “It's just...” Kyungsoo started, but he stopped to bite his lip, trying to find the best way to phrase it. “It won't put me in a very good light...It's not something I'm proud of now.”

      “That's ok. You're not proud of it now, so whatever it was, I doubt you'd do it again, right?”

      “That's right,” Kyungsoo sighed. He cupped Chanyeol's cheek, running his thumb along it, then finally decided to just tell him honestly. “Baekhyun and I...We basically used to whore ourselves out to people. We were the biggest sluts in our dorm...”

      “Oh...” Chanyeol muttered, his eyes widening a bit. Kyungsoo just looked away in shame.

      “I'm sorry...It's not something you'd like to hear from the guy you're dating, right?”

      “It doesn't matter, really...”

      “Huh?”

      “I mean...You aren't sleeping around with anyone now, are you?”

      “No! Of course not! If I slept with anyone, it would be you...and I don't want that until you're ready for it.” Chanyeol smiled softly and propped himself up long enough to kiss Kyungsoo's lips.

      “Then it doesn't matter. It's in the past. There's nothing you can do to change what happened, so you've gotta move on, right?”

      “Yeah...I wish Baekhyun would realize that...”

      “He hasn't?”

      “Well, he's done sleeping around, minus the new development with Xiumin, but he's permanently afraid of relationships now and doesn't really let himself relax or get close enough to anyone to have a relationship...”

      “That's why you thought Xiumin would be good for him?”

      “Mhm. And he seems to have opened up a bit thankfully...”

      “What made you guys quit? You were mentioning something about Baekhyun getting hurt. Were you hurt too?”

      “No, I wasn't. I was much better at managing everything than Baekhyun was, though I think part of why it got so bad for him was because he had such a low view of himself. The people that slept with him, they started pushing him around at first, then they started getting rough during sex and hurting him. I always wondered why he still went back to them and let them do it to him again, but...I really don't know why he just took it. When I asked him, he told me all he'd ever amount to was a filthy slut and that all he was good for was being used. It scared me to think he hated himself that much.”

      “That's so sad,” Chanyeol whispered. “Is he ok now?”

      “I don't think so,” Kyungsoo whispered, leaning down and resting his forehead in the crook of Chanyeol's neck. “I think he managed to repress all the bad feelings, but they're still there, and they still surface from time to time. Usually he calls me and I can talk him through it, but he's pretty messed up.”

      “And that's why you two stopped and left the dorms?”

      “Yeah. Well, that's the main reason I guess you could say. Baekhyun felt suffocated in that place and was afraid to leave his room, so he asked me if we could leave together. We got separate apartments, but we're both happier. There was more going on in Baekhyun's life though. It's not really my place to say, but he had a pretty big fallout with his parents when they learned he was sleeping around so much.”

      “Why would he even tell them something like that?”

      “He didn't really have a choice in the matter. Baekhyun's parents used to help him with his funds when he lived in the dorm. So they'd give him money for food and other needs, usually school related. One of Baekhyun's sex partners left him with a nasty STD and Baekhyun had to go get treated at a clinic. His parents got the bill and were furious. They had a huge fight with Baekhyun and cut off the money they'd been giving him. He got a job after that to afford his apartment, but a lot happened to him all at once and it was pretty rough.”

      “I'm glad he made it through.”

      “Me too.”

      “You're a good friend to look after him.”

      “I try to be. He needs at least one person in his life looking out for him.”

      “Well, now he'll have two. Three if you include Xiumin!”

 

      Kyungsoo smiled and nodded, letting that sink in. They would all be there for him, and he knew Baekhyun would be there if ever they needed him as well. It was nice, knowing that they all had each other's backs. Kyungsoo glanced up in time to see Chanyeol frown and his eyes narrow suddenly.

      “You didn't sleep with Baekhyun, did you?” His boyfriend asked. Kyungsoo gaped and shook his head rapidly..

      “Oh God, no! That would be like sleeping with my brother or something! We only ever talked, I promise.”

      “Alright, then we're good.”

 

      Kyungsoo smiled and nuzzled into Chanyeol's neck before resting his head on his shoulder. He felt Chanyeol's arm wrap around his waist and pull him closer, and he sighed contentedly. He really would never get tired of this. He felt Chanyeol place a kiss on the top of his head next.

      “Isn't my shoulder hard?” Chanyeol asked quietly.

      “Yeah, a little...But it's comfortable. I wouldn't want it any other way,” Kyungsoo mumbled, yawning and closing his eyes.

      “If you say so...”

 

      Chanyeol sighed and watched Kyungsoo drift off to sleep on top of him. When he was sure the other was asleep, he kissed his head again and ran his fingers lightly over the skin of his cheek, whispering quietly that he loved him. They hadn't dated for long, so Chanyeol was still afraid to say something like that out loud, but he loved Kyungsoo. He hoped someday he would able to be honest with him. For now, he would just keep everything to himself and enjoy a peaceful night of sleep beside him.

 

~*~

      The sun blared through the high glass windows of a research facility. It was early in the morning, and scientists and doctors were running from room to room, checking in on various patients and experiments. Despite how bright the building was with its white walls and massive windows, the whole place gave off a cold, unforgiving aura. The smiles and morning greetings exchanged were simple, obligatory kindnesses. It was a place that sent chills down a person's spine the instant they entered the building.

 

      The door to one of the offices within the building opened long enough for a figure to step inside before slamming shut again. The scientist sitting at the desk glanced up with an indifferent expression, only growing slightly more irritated as the man registered who was in his office to talk to him.

      “It's you. Are you here with a report?”

      “Model No. T93B4H5X1UM1N has been successfully handed over to an owner,” the visitor's deep voice explained.

      “You delivered the robot about a month ago, did you not? You're quite late with this report if that's the only update you've got for me.”

      “It's not.”

      “Then what else?” The scientist asked, still sounding cold and uninterested.

      “The robot been given the nickname Xiumin and seems to respond well to his owner. In addition, he's been formulating small opinions and thoughts.”

      “Right. That's to be expected. Do you know if _he's_ woken up yet?”

      “I can't say for sure, but recently Xiumin participated in intercourse with his owner, which may or may not trigger something. We'll have to see.”

      “It's only been a month!” The scientist gasped in disgust, finally showing an emotion besides disinterest. “What kind of sick freak did you give him to?”

      “The owner is actually quite a decent human. I wouldn't leave him with someone who wasn't. It was Xiumin who suggested the action to my understanding.”

      “Why would he?”

      “It's hard to say. Like I said, he's been thinking more on his own lately, so perhaps he felt the action was right and something he wanted..”

      “This is an interesting development...And you think this could influence his awakening?”

      “I can't say, for sure, but I think the possibility is there.”

      “Is there anything else?” The scientist asked curtly.

      “Nothing else to report about Xiumin. I would, however, like to make a request.”

      “And that is?”

      “I've done what you asked me to do, so leave me in peace. I don't like reporting every move my friend makes to you.”

      “He's hardly your friend right now,” the scientist scoffed. “Don't forget that we saved your life as well. You owe us this much, especially if you want your friend to get better.”

      “I haven't forgotten,” the visitor grumbled. “How could I ever forget? I'm simply asking why I still need to report to you for small, mundane things. I gave you Xiumin's owner's contact information, so it's not like you can't reach Xiumin yourself. If something major happens, I'll report, but otherwise, I don't see a reason for me to come all the way here.”

      “Very well. You've served us well so far, so I'll oblige you. But if anything out of the ordinary happens, to either of you, I expect to be contacted immediately.”

      “Yes sir...”

      “In the meantime, keep an eye on T93B4H5X1UM1N for me.”

      “I would even without you asking me. After all, he's like a brother to me...There's one more thing I would like to address before I leave, however”

      “What's that?” The scientist asked, unamused once more.

      “His name is Minseok,” the figure said darkly. “And if you can't get that through your head, then call him by his new name, Xiumin. He's more than just a model number and a science experiment.”

      “Yes, of course,” the scientist answered in a mocking tone.

 

      Immediately after, the visitor left the room, letting the door slam behind him again. It was pointless to argue such things with these men, but it was equally upsetting to simply refer to Xiumin as a string of numbers and letters. For how passionate these scientists were about their projects and work, they certainly lacked the mannerisms required to uphold proper work relationships. The visitor just hoped he would never have to come back to this place, not until there was actually good news to be heard. For now, all he could do was wait and watch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why hello, it's your author who progressively updates later and later on her days off as time goes by~ Tonight she brings you a chapter where it seems not a lot happens OTL  Ok, not a lot happens with Xiubaek, but we got some background on Baekhyun and Kyungsoo and we got some Chansoo weeeeee!!!  And that ending scene...start guessing what's going on there haha! Cuz it'll be a mystery for a little while longer~  The next chapter will also focus more on Xiubaek but um...it's gonna be a tad angsty, oops >.>  You guys should expect it by now, you know how I am OTL  But don't worry too much, alright ;3


	5. Chapter 5

      Following their intimate night together, Xiumin and Baekhyun's relationship seemed to be on rocky waters, if that was even possible. Baekhyun hadn't wanted to believe it at first, but when Xiumin pulled his hand away from him one night when he'd tried to hold it, he knew it was true. Xiumin was avoiding him. He must have been disgusted with him after what they'd done together. Baekhyun really couldn't blame him. He'd just hoped a robot wouldn't have been able to hate him. He'd been too naive and hopeful.

 

      Xiumin still did the daily chores he'd gotten into the habit of doing, but otherwise, they hardly talked. In fact, Xiumin hardly even looked at him. It was agonizing, but Baekhyun didn't know how to fix it. What if Xiumin was permanently programmed to hate him now? Baekhyun wasn't sure he'd be able to bear that. He never should have slept with him. All of this had been a mistake, especially letting himself start to feel things for a damn robot.

 

      They drove in silence in the mornings, and Xiumin only offered a small, distant goodbye in return to Baekhyun's heartfelt one. The robot still walked to school and met him at the end of the day like before, but Baekhyun was sure that was out of obligation. Xiumin was looking out for him, but not because he cared. Baekhyun would try to reach out to him, usually by asking if Xiumin wanted to watch a movie with him, but Xiumin always declined, making some pathetic excuse. It was heartbreaking to Baekhyun, like he'd lost one of his closest friends in the world. He was glad Xiumin's recharge mode seemed to turn him off temporarily. It gave Baekhyun ample opportunity to cry by himself. He never liked to let others see when he cried.

 

      He spent the whole following week blaming and hating himself for ruining the only good thing he'd had in months. If he'd been better, Xiumin wouldn't be angry at him now. Logically, it didn't make sense for a robot to be angry, but Baekhyun knew he was. Xiumin was so human-like, anything was possible, including making him hate someone. The gloom that had temporarily lifted from Baekhyun's life seemed to come back down and suffocate him more than it had before.

 

      Baekhyun woke up the following Monday before his first alarm even went off. He sighed, feeling like a massive weight was bearing down on his chest. He really could use the extra sleep, since it was his long school day, but there was no way he would get back to sleep. He hadn't been sleeping well all week. He sat up and glanced over at the corner of his room, where Minseok was still recharging. He would be up soon, but this at least gave Baekhyun the opportunity to get ready and leave before that. Normally he would drive Xiumin to work, but he had a feeling the robot would rather walk alone instead.

 

      He got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to change and put on his glasses. He could only sigh as he glanced at his reflection, complete with puffy, bloodshot eyes. He really could have used more sleep. When he was done in the bathroom, he headed to the kitchen and made himself and Xiumin breakfast. He left Xiumin's in the fridge, placing a note with his name beside it. Baekhyun knew it was a waste to make Xiumin food, especially when he had a complete charging cycle, but he couldn't bring himself to stop. It was like every fiber of his being wished that Xiumin were a regular human, and that doing something like this would make it seem more believable.

 

      After breakfast, he cleaned up and returned to his room to gather his books. He slung his bag over his shoulder with a sigh and left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him, as if it would wake Xiumin if he were too loud. Nothing would wake Xiumin from a recharge cycle though. He slipped his shoes on at the front door and had just pushed it open when he finally heard someone speak up behind him.

      “I'll pick you up from school later,” Xiumin stated, standing in the doorway of Baekhyun's room.

      “Alright...I'm going on ahead. See you later,” Baekhyun sighed.

 

      He walked out the door, leaving the robot alone in the apartment. The drive to school was especially quiet, and Baekhyun realized that he was no longer used to being alone. Would Xiumin stay mad at him forever? Was he going to be alone from now on? That was all he'd wanted for so long, but now the thought was terrifying. He was probably jumping off the deep end, but he'd never dealt with a moody robot before. Perhaps this was the beginning of the end.

 

      Baekhyun parked his car in the usual parking lot, then made the long trek to his first class. The day passed slower than any other Monday before. Though, it always seemed the days passed agonizingly slow when Baekhyun was particularly upset or anxious. He wasn't sure he even wanted to go home later though. It would just be another silent evening with Xiumin after all.

 

      Kyungsoo and Chanyeol immediately noticed something was wrong. Baekhyun tried to brush off their millions of questions, but neither one of them wanted to leave him be. He knew it was just friendly concern, but the last thing he wanted to do was explain that his robot hated him now. Of course, Kyungsoo finally made it clear that he wasn't going to let it go, so Baekhyun begrudgingly told them everything.

      “That doesn't make sense,” Kyungsoo mumbled after Baekhyun's explanation. “He was the one that suggested it. It's not fair of him to suddenly change his mind.”

      “He's a robot. Does he even care about being fair?” Baekhyun sighed. “It was nice while it lasted, but I managed to piss him off. What do I do now?” He asked weakly. Chanyeol shook his head, looking just as confused as Kyungsoo.

      “He really shouldn't be acting like this,” he mumbled more to himself than to Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. “Do you mind if I try to talk to him? Maybe I can find out why he's upset.”

      “I guess...He probably just regrets sleeping with me. I would too if I were in his shoes.”

      “Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo chided softly.

 

      Baekhyun simply gave him a weak smile in return. Optimism had never been his strong point, at least not in recent years. It was easier to brace himself for the worst than to hope for the best. It hurt less when the worst came to be true.

 

~*~

      Xiumin got ready for work in a daze. It was a routine, so it wasn't hard to go through the steps, but his thoughts were all over the place, particularly when it came to a certain person that had left the apartment not long ago. When Xiumin got to the kitchen and opened the fridge, planning to simply drink a glass of juice to give himself an extra boost, he spotted the food Baekhyun had prepared. The robot stared at it for a while. How could Baekhyun still look out for him after being avoided for a whole week? Meanwhile, Xiumin was struggling to even look him in the eyes. Baekhyun was too kind for his own good.

 

      Xiumin ate the food, not wanting it to go to waste after Baekhyun had prepared it. He wished he could have been able to taste it. There were several things he wished he were able to do. Rather than dwelling on those thoughts, he got up and got ready for work, then left the apartment with enough time to walk to his job. One thing he was grateful for was the fact that no matter what he did, he didn't feel tired. It was one of the few conveniences to having a robotic body, but Xiumin didn't think it was enough to outweigh all the downsides, lacking senses of taste and touch being two glaringly obvious ones.

 

      The workday at the cafe was slow for the most part, only spiking around lunchtime since it was so close to the university. Xiumin was working the entire day, since he'd arranged his hours to align with Baekhyun's. He would always watch his coworkers stress and panic over the influx of orders, but it had never bothered Xiumin. He was the fastest at making drinks, courtesy of his machine-like accuracy and precision. It made him a good employee, but sometimes Xiumin wished he could feel the pressure and panic that the other workers felt. Instead, he just worked extra fast to relieve the problem.

 

      It was later in the evening that Xiumin received a visit from a friend. There had been a lull in the cafe, so most of the employees were cleaning and standing around talking. Xiumin had never really participated in those conversations before, so he used that time to go into power conservation mode. He was still aware of his surroundings, but he turned most of his functions off to enter a small recharge phase. That was probably why it was surprising to find Chanyeol standing on the other side of the counter, watching him with a wide grin.

      “You might want to blink sometimes if you want to pass off as a human,” Chanyeol joked quietly.

      “Chanyeol...” Xiumin mumbled. “Why are you here?”

      “Why can't I be here? You feeling ok? You seem out of it...”

      “I'm fine, it's just...Are you here as a customer?”

      “Yeah, I am. But I'd also like to talk to you. Do you think we could?”

      “Yeah, I think so. I'll be getting off in about 15 minutes, so we'll talk then. Is that ok?”

      “That sounds great!”

 

      Xiumin took Chanyeol's order and made it slowly for once, wanting to waste as much time as possible until the end of his shift. Finally, he brought Chanyeol's drink out to him and sat across from him at the table, heaving a sigh. Chanyeol's eyebrow raised at that, having never heard the robot sigh before. They were silent for some time until Chanyeol finally spoke up.

      “You've woken up, haven't you?” He asked. Xiumin said nothing, then looked down and nodded.

      “I have...Everything's so weird, Yeol.”

      “Yeah, I can imagine. Does Baekhyun know?”

      “No...I don't even know how to begin explaining to him.”

      “Is that why you've been avoiding him?”

      “He told you?” Xiumin asked worriedly.

      “He's been really depressed lately. Kyungsoo finally got an answer out of him today and he said he made you hate him...”

      “I don't...hate him,” Xiumin mumbled, looking down at the table. “He's done nothing to make me hate him. If anything, he's been really nice to me, even though I've been...” He trailed off, grimacing.

      “Why are you avoiding him then? If he didn't do anything wrong, then why are you treating him this way?”

      “I don't know how to face him. We slept together, Yeol...”

      “I'm aware of that,” Chanyeol sighed. “Baekhyun told us, remember? Mostly because Kyungsoo was having a fit. Is it really such a bad thing?”

      “It's not bad. I know why we did what we did that night, and I know that I suggested it, though it wasn't entirely me...”

      “Then what's the problem? Do you regret it?”

      “I don't know. I don't know how to feel. I like Baekhyun and he's a good person, but I'm shy around him, ok? And all my thoughts and feelings haven't quite caught up to each other. That's the only way I can describe it.”

      “I can understand that, but don't you think avoiding him is a bit much? Baekhyun's really sensitive and not in a good place emotionally, so of course he's gonna take it the wrong way.”

      “I know...But ever since I came to, all I can think about is what Baekhyun and I did and I don't know what to say anymore. What does it make us? What does it make _me_ to him?”

      “Min,” Chanyeol sighed, fingers messing aimlessly with his drink. “Don't hurt Baekhyun because you're confused and unsure how to feel. It's ok to be unsure, but you need to communicate that to Baekhyun somehow. Otherwise, he's going to interpret your distance as disgust.”

      “So what am I supposed to do? Pretend I never woke up and I'm just some robot to be used for sex and household chores?”

      “No, you talk to him. You don't have to tell him everything, but you need to tell him that you're feeling shy or confused or _something_! Because Baekhyun cares for you, and for you to ignore his feelings and make him feel even more insecure than he already feels isn't ok.”

      “What if he doesn't want me anymore if I tell him how I'm feeling? Can a robot defy their owner like that? What if he just expects me to do whatever he says?”

      “Baekhyun understands what consent is. He's not going to force something on you if you don't want it. And he's not going to get rid of you either. Like I said, he cares for you. Right now he thinks you hate him and that _you're_ the one that's going to leave.”

      “Where would I go?” Xiumin sighed. “No one would want someone like me? No one would _like_ someone like me...Something like me, I should say.”

      “Baekhyun likes you a lot, I can tell. You've gotta make sure you talk about things instead of keeping them to yourself, Min. It's gonna hurt both of you. If you regret sleeping with him, tell him why, and make sure he knows that it's not because you hate him.”

      “Alright, I'll try...” Xiumin finally muttered, nodding slightly.

      “Good. I'm gonna let you go then, alright?”

      “Yeah...Thanks Yeol.”

      “Of course. We'll talk more again soon, just you and I.”

      “I'd like that. There's a lot I want to ask you.”

      “I'm sure...For now, I'll see ya later~”

 

      Xiumin nodded and waved Chanyeol off, heaving another sigh once he was gone. Chanyeol was right, Baekhyun didn't deserve the silent treatment Xiumin was giving him. Xiumin didn't hate Baekhyun at all, nor did he really regret sleeping with him. In fact, that was probably why he was so confused now. They needed to have a long talk.

 

      He glanced at the time and his eyes went wide. He was supposed to have left to go meet Baekhyun 15 minutes ago. At this rate, even if he ran all the way there, he would be late. This wasn't going to make apologizing to Baekhyun any easier. Xiumin quickly said goodbye to his coworkers and bolted out the door. He ran as fast as he could, which was fairly fast considering his legs were mechanical. He could only hope Baekhyun was safe and not wandering around on his own after dark.

 

~*~

      When Baekhyun's night class finally finished, the sun had set, leaving the campus dimly lit by various lamps placed throughout the grounds. Baekhyun hated walking the path back to his car alone, but it wasn't like he had a choice. At least Xiumin had started meeting him part way instead of at his car, so they walked past the dormitory together. Even during their time of silence, Baekhyun always felt relieved when Xiumin was at his side on campus.

 

      He left the building his class was in and began walking across campus. It also didn't help his case that the only parking he could afford was the furthest from all the classes and inconveniently right next to the dormitory. Usually Xiumin met him around the student union building and they would walk the second half of the distance together. Baekhyun stood there waiting for 10 minutes, anxiously glancing around for the other. He really should have bought Xiumin a phone so they could contact each other, but Baekhyun didn't have the money to pay for plans for both of them. Perhaps Xiumin wasn't coming after all. Baekhyun wouldn't be surprised with how vehemently Xiumin had been avoiding him as of late. He must have changed his mind about coming to pick him up. It was already pretty late after all.

 

      He sighed and decided to just walk the rest of the way to his car alone. He'd wait with the doors locked for a little while longer to see if Xiumin ever came, but he didn't want to stand around on campus alone anymore. He walked as quickly as he could, keeping his head down in hopes that no one would recognize him. His life seemed to be a repeat of bad occurrences, however, because soon a hand slammed down on his shoulder and he was pulled roughly towards the dormitory. He was shoved against the wall of the side of the building, out of plain sight for anyone that might walk by and see Baekhyun being harassed. This wasn't good. Baekhyun wasn't surprised when he saw the same guy from before looming over him, but he _was_ terrified.

      “You and I just keep running into each other, don't we,” the man sneered.

 

      Baekhyun flinched as he leaned closer, the man's hot breath beating against his face. Why was this guy so desperate to harass him? Was he so determined to sleep with Baekhyun that he was willing to attack him any time he saw him? Baekhyun was just a slut in this guy's eyes, so why did it matter that it was him he slept with and not someone else? Did he like the challenge? After the way Xiumin had treated him last time, he was surprised this guy was even bothering to approach him. Then again, Xiumin wasn't here. Baekhyun was alone, which meant he was easy prey to this guy. There was a possibility that Baekhyun wouldn't be able to get away from this.

      “What do you want?” Baekhyun asked irritably, trying once again to stand his ground, however pitiful an effort that was.

      “Nothing much. Just a bit of your time,” the man muttered, lips trailing down Baekhyun's neck. The latter pushed him away immediately, pressing his hand against his neck to shield it from future attacks

      “How many times do I have to say this? I'm not sleeping with you!” He shouted, praying someone would hear.

      “Cuz you have your over-defensive boyfriend now? Is he the only one who gets to fuck you? Or do you fuck him? You were great at both...”

      “That's none of your business,” Baekhyun growled.

      “So you _have_ slept with him? Last time, you denied it, but now you're dodging the subject...so that boy of yours IS back in action...” The guy reached for Baekhyun's crotch and the other swatted his hand away as hard as he could.

      “Not for you!” Baekhyun yelled.

 

      If he could make enough noise for someone to notice, he might be able to get away. He pushed the man away in an attempt to slink away from him, but as expected, it was really no use. He was slammed against the wall again, which resulted in an aching head as it met with rough cement. The man captured both of his wrists and pinned him to the wall, leaning forward and reconnecting his lips with Baekhyun's neck. Baekhyun squirmed uncomfortably, wincing as the man started to bite hard enough to bruise and possibly even break the skin.

      “Stop!” Baekhyun cried out, trying in vain to squirm out of his grasp.

 

      The guy used his weight to pin Baekhyun to the wall, then dropped his hands from his wrist to start fumbling with Baekhyun's jeans. Baekhyun froze for a second in shock, realization setting in that if he didn't get away _now_ it was going to get much, much worse. He used his fists to repeatedly pound into the guy's shoulders, but it didn't seem to be helping. _Nothing_ seemed to be helping and Baekhyun's pants were seconds away from being down below his knees. He needed help.

      “Xiumin!” He screamed, hoping to some higher deity that the robot was somewhere nearby and would hear him. “Xiumin, help!”

 

      The man in front of him pulled away and glared at Baekhyun, sending a punch to his nose seconds later. Baekhyun whimpered and cupped it with his hands, feeling blood run down. The man continued his actions from before, rougher this time, and tears spilled down Baekhyun's cheeks. This was really happening.

 

      As Baekhyun slowly let the reality of the situation sink in, his body began to feel numb. He closed his eyes, hoping that it would be over soon. He let out a small cry when he felt a sudden force push the man on top of him away. When he dared to open his eyes, the man was on the ground, with none other than Xiumin on top of him, punching him repeatedly. Baekhyun's legs gave out underneath him and he crumpled to the ground, feeling relief wash over him.

      “I told you to stay the fuck away from him!” Xiumin growled dangerously, sending another punch to the man's face.

 

      Baekhyun flinched at the sound. He'd never seen Xiumin like this. Even last time, the robot had only thwarted the attack, not actually hit him back. His fists were made of metal though. If he didn't stop, he'd do some real damage. As much as the man deserved the beating he was getting, Baekhyun wanted Xiumin to stop. He was scaring Baekhyun.

      “Xiumin,” Baekhyun called out, his voice shaky and weak. Of course the other didn't hear him. “Xiumin, stop!” He croaked out.

 

      Xiumin's fist paused in the air, and slowly dropped to his side. He got up from the man, ignoring the curses that were spat at him from behind swollen, bloody lips. Xiumin walked slowly over to Baekhyun and squatted by his side, glancing him over to make sure he wasn't hurt anywhere other than the obvious bite marks and bloody nose. Finally, Xiumin cautiously cupped his cheeks, which caused Baekhyun to flinch momentarily.

      “Are you ok?” Xiumin asked softly. Baekhyun didn't think he'd ever seen so much pain and worry in the robot's eyes.

      “I want to go home,” he whimpered.

      “I'll take you home. You're safe now.”

 

      Xiumin wrapped his arm around Baekhyun's back and tucked the other under his legs, then carefully stood up, lifting him into his arms. Baekhyun immediately clung to him, tucking his face into the crook of Xiumin's neck so he was hidden from the world. He felt Xiumin start walking away, but another voice joined the mix, causing Baekhyun to glance up.

      “What the hell happened here?” Another guy shouted.

 

      The newcomer had just turned the corner and happened to see the aftermath of the situation. Baekhyun took a sharp intake of breath as he recognized this guy as the dorm head. His grip on Xiumin's shirt tightened, and as if to calm him, Xiumin snuggled him closer before sending a glare at the dorm head.

      “Why don't you ask that piece of shit over there? He tried to sexually assault my friend and had I not been there...” He trailed off, as if realizing that saying it out loud would only make Baekhyun an even worse mess than he already was. “You'll have to forgive me for being rough with him, but this is the second time this has happened, and I _will_ protect my friend, regardless of what that entails.”

 

      The dorm head took in Baekhyun's disheveled appearance, noting the unzipped jeans and the bloody nose. He let out a sigh and nodded.

      “I apologize that something like this happened. I'll see to it that disciplinary actions are taken.”

      “Just don't let it happen again,” Xiumin warned darkly.

 

      He walked past the dorm head, not sparing him another glance. Baekhyun sighed and rested his head on Xiumin's chest, trying his best to stop shaking. Xiumin had come for him after all. Baekhyun felt tears gather in his eyes, but this time, relief and happiness were the main cause. Xiumin had saved him again. He was going to be ok.

 

      They were silent as Xiumin carried him the rest of the way. Baekhyun was grateful because his legs still felt like they'd turned to jello. As Baekhyun stared up at Xiumin's face, he couldn't help but notice how angry he still seemed. Xiumin had never been so expressive before. Then again, he'd been acting differently all week. Baekhyun really liked those expressive eyes though. He wished Xiumin would have them all the time, though perhaps not because of anger. Baekhyun wished his heart didn't have to beat faster as he stared at the other.

 

      When they finally reached Baekhyun's car, he fumbled with his pocket and managed to pull out his keys and unlock the doors. Xiumin pulled the passenger side door open then carefully set Baekhyun down on the seat. The latter sagged against it with a sigh, grateful that they'd finally reached the secluded safety of his car. Baekhyun glanced down at his pants and gasped when he realized he'd never zipped them up again. He did it quickly, frustrated that his hands were still shaking so badly. He jumped when he felt something soft brush against his nose.

      “It's ok,” Xiumin said quietly. “I'm just cleaning the blood off. You're ok.”

 

      Baekhyun held still and let Xiumin dab at his nose and surrounding area with a few tissues. He was being kinder and gentler with Baekhyun than he ever had in the past, and following a week of being ignored, it was almost more than Baekhyun could handle. He couldn't seem to stop crying, even as Xiumin whispered reassuring words and dabbed at the blood and the tears. He'd missed Xiumin so, so much.

 

      Baekhyun was surprised when Xiumin carefully readjusted Baekhyun in the seat and fastened his seat belt. Baekhyun sat up slightly and stared at him in a panic.

      “What are you doing?” He asked, eyes wide. Xiumin grabbed the car keys from his hand and shook them in the air.

      “Driving you home.”

      “Xiumin, you don't have a license...”

      “I know how to drive, Baekhyun,” the robot sighed, as if he was tired and frustrated, though not at Baekhyun himself.

      “You do...?”

      “Yeah. I'll get you home safely, and I won't wreck your car. I promise. You just rest for now, ok?”

      “Alright...”

 

      Xiumin nodded and shut the door, then walked over to the driver's side and got in. Baekhyun was surprised when they pulled out of their parking spot without a hint of struggle. Xiumin really did know how to drive. Did they program that into him? He'd expressed no interest in driving before, but perhaps that was because Baekhyun hadn't given him the option. Xiumin was acting so differently now, like he was his own person. He was capable of so much more than Baekhyun had realized.

 

      The drive home was completely silent. Baekhyun had closed his eyes, trying in vain to calm himself down. He knew it wasn't his fault, but he still felt ashamed of himself to the point where he couldn't even look Xiumin in the eyes. This boded well for their already rocky relationship. He was glad Xiumin was preoccupied with driving the car. Baekhyun didn't notice the worried glances Xiumin gave him at every stoplight, or the way his mouth would open as if to say something, then close when no words came to mind.

 

      It wasn't until they were back at Baekhyun's apartment that any words were exchanged. Xiumin had asked him briefly if he was ok and Baekhyun had given him a rushed, obvious lie that he was, then immediately gone to the bathroom to take a much needed bath. He'd fully expected Xiumin to ignore him like he had every other night, so he practically jumped out of his skin when Xiumin cautiously entered the bathroom and sat down on the toilet lid beside the bathtub. He ran his fingers through Baekhyun's wet hair, as if inspecting it.

      “I'll wash your hair. Just lay back and rest, ok?”

 

      Baekhyun blushed slightly, but didn't put up a fight. He was far too drained to argue or make demands. He was just glad he'd put a ton of bubbles in the tub prior to Xiumin's arrival, so his body was out of sight. Xiumin wouldn't have cared, especially since he'd already seen it, but Baekhyun still didn't want him to see. He felt so vulnerable, even with Xiumin.

 

      Baekhyun jumped slightly when a wet cloth met his nose, but he relaxed as soon as he realized it was just Xiumin trying to clean up some of the dried blood. After that, the wet cloth traveled down to his neck, cleaning off the angry bite marks. Baekhyun closed his eyes, wishing he didn't feel so vile. He felt so unworthy of Xiumin's care. He felt so used, despite being rescued before anything terrible could come to pass. A tear trickled down his cheek, and Xiumin gently wiped it away.

      “It's ok,” he whispered for what felt like the millionth time. It set Baekhyun's nerves at ease though.

 

      Once Xiumin had cleaned Baekhyun's injuries as best he could, he poured shampoo into his hands and carefully started massaging it into Baekhyun's hair. Baekhyun was staring off to space and getting somewhat drowsy, but when Xiumin suddenly spoke up, it pulled Baekhyun away from any potential slumber.

      “I'm sorry I was late,” Xiumin said quietly. His eyes were fixed on Baekhyun's foamy hair. “I'm so sorry...”

      “I didn't think you would come,” Baekhyun mumbled, not bothering to look up at Xiumin.

      “Why wouldn't I come? I said I would this morning.”

      “I thought you'd changed your mind or were playing a trick on me.”

      “I wouldn't do that to you,” Xiumin said sadly.

      “I'm sorry I ruined everything,” Baekhyun uttered, his voice shaking. He still couldn't bring himself to look at Xiumin. “I won't touch you again, so please don't ignore me anymore.”

      “You didn't ruin anything. I'm the one that made our relationship the way it is,” Xiumin sighed. He picked Baekhyun's chin up and turned him so that their eyes finally met. “I don't hate you, and I'm so sorry I acted the way I did. You didn't deserve that kind of treatment.” Baekhyun looked at him incredulously. “I mean it. I was a jerk and you deserved better.”

      “Why did you avoid me?”

      “I was shy,” Xiumin mumbled, and Baekhyun thought he saw his cheeks flush a bit. He didn't even think Xiumin _could_ blush. “It was my first time doing that with someone, and I felt...confused. Do you believe me?” Baekhyun nodded slowly, to Xiumin's surprise.

      “Do you regret it?”

      “No, I don't. I just didn't know what it made us, or how I should feel, or how you would think of me and treat me after that. I got scared so I started avoiding you. I'm sorry.”

      “I think of you as my friend. You're important to me,” Baekhyun stated. He wished he could let Xiumin know just how important he was, but even Baekhyun was afraid to admit to those feelings. “Is that ok?”

      “Yeah...”

      “Were you afraid I would only use you for sex?” Baekhyun asked sadly. Xiumin shook his head rapidly, but Baekhyun had a feeling he was lying. “I wouldn't do that. If you never want to have sex with me again, that's fine. I would understand, honestly...But I would never force you into it. I care about you...I just want you to be here with me and be happy...”

      “Happy,” Xiumin repeated, letting the words sink in. He didn't think anyone would care about his own happiness.

      “I'm sorry having sex with me made you so uncomfortable.”

      “It didn't. I was the one that suggested it and I was fine with having sex with you. I just got nervous and confused afterward. Please don't blame yourself when nothing is wrong. I'm not angry or upset with you.”

      “Alright,” Baekhyun agreed, but Xiumin knew the boy was still blaming himself.

 

      Rather than push the subject when Baekhyun was already an emotional wreck, Xiumin decided it would be best to just spend the rest of the evening as quietly and nicely as possible. He carefully rinsed the suds out of Baekhyun's hair, then told the boy to wash up and join him in the kitchen. It took another 10 minutes and cold bath water for Baekhyun to motivate himself to actually move.

 

      When he got out of the bathroom, wearing fresh, comfortable clothes, he immediately smelled the aroma of food. When he got to the kitchen, Xiumin had heated up soup that Baekhyun had bought. It was an easy dinner, but a tasty one all the same. Xiumin served him a bowl and sat down beside him, watching worriedly as Baekhyun took bites every now and then. Despite how terrible his mood was, he was really hungry. He and Xiumin didn't really talk to each other as Baekhyun ate. The air between them seemed to be a little better, but it wasn't like everything went back to normal. Baekhyun felt like nothing more than a burden right now, and Xiumin was simply taking care of him because he felt obligated and at fault even though he wasn't.

 

      Following dinner, Xiumin cleaned up while Baekhyun remained seated at the table. It was late by that point, and all he really wanted to do was go to bed and try to forget that everything had happened. Xiumin must have noticed how tired he was, because soon he was ushering Baekhyun to his bedroom, watching him brush his teeth and get ready for bed.

 

      Baekhyun walked to his bed lifelessly and pulled the covers back. He paused, gripping onto the comforter tighter before letting out a sigh and glancing at Xiumin, who was standing a short distance away.

      “Will you hold me?” Baekhyun asked nervously. “Just for tonight?”

 

      Xiumin's eyes went a little wider, but he nodded immediately after. He wasn't going to deny Baekhyun any comfort and reassurance that he needed. Baekhyun slipped underneath the covers first and Xiumin followed. Immediately, Baekhyun snuggled against Xiumin letting out a relieved sigh this time. The robot's arms snaked around his waist and back and snuggled him close. Xiumin's embrace felt so comforting and loving, Baekhyun wished it could always be like this. He wished Xiumin could be real, so that Baekhyun wouldn't hate himself for feeling so much for him. He was tired of beating himself up though, so for now, he would just let himself be held and let himself feel loved, regardless of if it was real or not.

      “You're gonna be ok,” Xiumin said softly into his hair. Baekhyun hummed in response.

      “Thank you...for saving me,” he whispered. Xiumin held him tighter.

      “I'm just glad I made it on time...Don't walk around on campus on your own at night anymore. Please?”

      “Alright,” Baekhyun mumbled in agreement. He didn't _want_ to after what happened earlier.

      “I promise, I'll always be there to pick you up, even if I'm late. So stay somewhere you feel safe until I meet you, and we'll go together.”

      “You promise?” Baekhyun asked, sounding both nervous and hopeful.

      “Promise. I'll keep you safe.”

 

      Baekhyun nodded and let out another sigh. His whole body seemed to go lax with exhaustion and relief at Xiumin's words. He fought sleep for as long as he could, but it proved to be in vain. At least he fell asleep in Xiumin's strong hold rather than by himself.

 

      Xiumin remained awake for a little while longer, dwelling on what had happened and making sure Baekhyun was peacefully asleep. It terrified Xiumin to know that if he'd been any later, Baekhyun would have been hurt so much worse and possibly irreparably. Baekhyun was such a kind person, and Xiumin was lucky to know him. He would protect him from now on, and he would try his best not to be the source of Baekhyun's sadness anymore. He felt a strange feeling in his chest as he stared at the sleeping boy in his arms, but it wasn't necessarily a bad feeling. In fact, Xiumin was starting to think it made him rather happy. Being with Baekhyun, however nervous he felt, made him _happy_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, a lot happened in that chapter, didn't it? OTL  Xiumin had so many feelings and strange reactions, like wow.  He's honestly so hard for me to write in this fic and I'm worried he'll come off not how I intended as I write more of the story OTL  I always struggle with these kinds of things whenever I write angsty/complicated characters though OTL  But in this chapter, he was rather cold to Baekhyun, but then not XD  A very confuzzled robot, he is~  And we found out a bit more about him sorta?  Chanyeol knows about his awakening, so hmmmmm~ He's not as innocent as he seems either (he's an innocent bub, but he's got his secrets too lol!).  Next chapter will be much brighter than this one though, I promise!!!


	6. Chapter 6

      Baekhyun was more withdrawn than Xiumin had ever seen him after the attack. It made perfect sense that he was acting that way, but it was still worrying. Xiumin had learned that smiles for Baekhyun were a bit rare, though they'd been more frequent as of late, but after everything that happened, Baekhyun didn't smile. He'd stare into space for brief periods of time before snapping out of it and frantically continuing whatever it was he was doing. He kept his distance from Xiumin as well, despite the fact that Xiumin had told him he wasn't upset with him. It was probably just a defense mechanism to shut everyone out, but Xiumin was scared. It was hard watching Baekhyun like this.

 

      Telling Kyungsoo what happened ended up being quite a hurdle too. Baekhyun had been dreading it, and he'd managed to talk his way out of telling Kyungsoo several times, saying he wasn't ready to say why he was so upset, but he had to tell him eventually. As expected, Kyungsoo was kind and patient with him, but Baekhyun could tell he was furious and ready to kill the guy that attacked him. The only thing that calmed Kyungsoo down was the fact that Xiumin had already beaten the guy black and blue in his stead. Baekhyun thankfully hadn't seen the man since that night, and he really hoped he never would see him again.

 

      Xiumin's routine to pick him up from school every day continued. Each day, Xiumin was waiting for him at their new agreed upon spot, smiling softly at Baekhyun. He was always so gentle with Baekhyun. It was probably a mixture of pity and trying to make up for the previous week of avoidance, but Baekhyun didn't care. He needed someone to be at his side right now, and if Xiumin was willing to be there, Baekhyun would take in any amount of attention and kindness he was given.

 

      It still came as a surprise when Xiumin picked him up on a Friday, excitedly pulling him towards Baekhyun's car and rambling on about getting out for some fresh air. Baekhyun didn't understand why Xiumin was dragging him so quickly to the car if he wanted fresh air, but as Xiumin began to mention a restaurant with outdoor seating not far from where he worked, Baekhyun realized he meant getting fresh air elsewhere. Baekhyun pulled back nervously, and Xiumin turned to look at him with a mixture of sadness, worry, and confusion.

      “What's wrong?” Xiumin asked, reaching for Baekhyun's hand again, but this time he simply held it rather than pulled him forward.

      “We're going out?” Baekhyun asked nervously, unconsciously squeezing Xiumin's hand harder.

      “Yeah, is that a problem?”

      “Do we have to? Can't we just eat something at home?”

      “Baekhyun, when was the last time you actually went out to eat? And not counting food you buy at school.”

      “I don't know...Why does it matter?”

      “Because staying cooped up at home every day isn't good for you. Isn't it stuffy? I promise we'll go home later and you can seclude yourself from everything, but for now, I want to take you to this place. Is that ok?”

      “I guess...” Baekhyun mumbled. Xiumin could tell he still wasn't that convinced.

      “I'll be there with you and there's nothing shady about the restaurant. It'll be ok, I promise.”

      “Alright.”

 

      Xiumin's smile beamed at Baekhyun, causing his heart to beat just a bit faster. Ever since they'd slept together and had that weird week, Xiumin seemed so much more expressive. He hardly spoke like a robot anymore, which made it even harder for Baekhyun to remember that he was still a robot. The being before him was so human though, more than he ever had been. Baekhyun loved seeing him this way. It was about the only thing that could get a timid smile to grace his own features. Even now, Xiumin's excitement about the restaurant left a small smile on Baekhyun's lips as he was willingly dragged to his car.

 

      Baekhyun drove them to the restaurant, taking directions from Xiumin, and they were quickly seated outside at a small table that was shaded by an umbrella. It was a nice day outside, so Baekhyun completely understood why Xiumin had insisted on this restaurant. They ordered food, and Baekhyun was surprised when Xiumin took his time looking at the menu, almost longingly staring at a few items, before deciding on the cheapest item as usual. Was he upset because he couldn't taste anything?

 

      While they waited for their food, Xiumin goaded Baekhyun into talking about what he was learning in his classes. Baekhyun had been so closed off lately, he hadn't even been telling Xiumin about his classes. Of course, Baekhyun didn't think that would really be something Xiumin would miss, but the other was animatedly listening to him, still smiling that smile that made Baekhyun's heart do weird things. Xiumin was always so good at cheering Baekhyun up, even if it was only because he was programmed to do so. Baekhyun wanted to believe that wasn't the only reason though, ridiculous as it was.

 

      The conversation continued well into their meal, Xiumin carrying a lot of it and changing topics or giving his own opinions often. Even his opinions were far more complex than they had been before. It wasn't until after their meal that there was a small lull in the conversation. Baekhyun sighed and rested his arms on the table, glancing at the scenery around him. He was glad it wasn't too hot, because he was still wearing a turtleneck to hide the damage that guy had done to his neck. Thankfully, his nose didn't noticeably bruise, but it still hurt when he touched it.

 

      Xiumin never pressed the subject when it came to Baekhyun's past or why that guy was so desperate to sleep with him. In fact, Xiumin never pushed any topics that Baekhyun wasn't comfortable with, and he'd gotten a lot better at avoiding them altogether. Baekhyun appreciated his efforts, but he also felt like it was something Xiumin deserved to know, especially after saving him twice. It was something Baekhyun wanted to tell him. He was afraid it would change things between them again, but Xiumin had always been kind and understanding in the end, even if it took him some time to form his own feelings on the subject. Now was probably as good a time as any to tell him the truth.

      “You ok?” Xiumin asked, noticing Baekhyun was too quiet and had a serious expression on his face.

      “Yeah...Can I tell you something?”

      “Anything.”

      “I used to live in those dorms,” Baekhyun said softly. “I used to sleep around a lot...That's where the bad reputation came from.”

      “Did you sleep with that guy who attacked you?” Xiumin asked, no judgment in his voice. Baekhyun nodded, looking down at the table in shame. “Did he ever hurt you like he did last time?” Xiumin asked, a twinge of anger in his voice.

      “No, not really,” Baekhyun muttered. “I never really fought against him in the past, so he didn't have a reason to...But there were plenty of people that were rough and pushy like him. They demanded I sleep with them on their terms a lot, and I never really had the strength to say no...”

      “Is that why you left? Because of how badly they were treating you?”

      “That's part of it,” Baekhyun sighed. “After a particularly painful night, I went to Kyungsoo for advice about leaving the dorm, even though we were only halfway through the semester. You should have seen how angry he was when I showed him the bruises.” Xiumin grimaced at the thought. “A couple weeks after I went to Kyungsoo for help, I started having...problems.”

      “Problems?”

      “Yeah, like trouble peeing, the usual symptoms people get when they get STDs.”

      “Oh,” Xiumin mumbled, his eyes widening a little bit.

      “Turns out I got an STD. It was bound to happen with how much of a slut I was.”

      “Baekhyun, that's...”

      “It's to be expected,” Baekhyun finished for him. “I had to get it treated and the bill went to my parents. You can imagine how well they took it when they found out I was sleeping around.”

      “It's your body, isn't it? Why would they be upset other than for your health?”

      “Because they didn't know their son was a little manwhore sleeping around with men instead of pretty little girls,” Baekhyun hissed. “They didn't care that I'd gotten the STD. They felt I deserved it. They were just disgusted that I was sleeping with other men, especially since I got into the dorms so I could go to school and learn. I'd been missing classes and struggling at that point, so they were equally angry about that.”

      “I'm sorry they felt that way,” Xiumin said softly. Baekhyun simply shrugged.

      “It was the wake-up call I needed and the best reason to leave the dorms. My parents weren't going to support me anymore, so I didn't have the money to stay. I moved into my cheap apartment and got a job to support myself. It's tiring but I make it work.”

      “Your parents haven't talked to you since then?”

      “No, but I don't think I'd really want them to try,” Baekhyun sighed. “I'm better off alone.”

      “Maybe you're better off without them, but not alone. I don't really think anyone is better off alone. We all get lonely.”

      “Do you feel lonely, Xiumin?” Baekhyun asked, looking at him with an expression that Xiumin couldn't decipher. It was like Baekhyun was both hopeful and scared at the same time.

      “I do,” Xiumin answered, picking at the remnants of his food with his fork. “I can get very lonely.”

      “I didn't know...Do I help you when you're lonely? Or do I make it worse?”

      “You help,” Xiumin quickly soothed. “You help a lot...What about me? Have I been helping you?”

      “More than you could ever know...”

      “Even though I ignored you for a week?”

      “It's one week compared to over a month of happiness. I wasn't in a particularly good state of mind when you first arrived. That's probably why Kyungsoo and Chanyeol sent you to me in the first place. I needed someone by my side.”

      “Can I really make decent company though?” Xiumin asked sadly, more to himself than Baekhyun, but the latter still heard it. “A robot is hardly good company.”

      “You've been the best company I've had in years,” Baekhyun admitted quietly. “You've made me happier than I've been in years. Isn't that enough?”

      “I guess,” Xiumin sighed. Baekhyun bit his lips and stared at his plate again.

      “So you don't hate me for what I told you just now?”

      “Why would I? It fills in a few of the details I was missing about why that guy was after you, but why would it make me hate you?”

      “Because I'm disgusting,” Baekhyun said as if it was the most natural reason. It almost made Xiumin cringe. “I was a giant slut who slept with more men than I can remember or even count, and you've slept with me too, not knowing that. Why wouldn't you hate me?”

      “Because I'm not so petty that I would care about how many men you've slept with. It doesn't matter to me if you've slept with no one or 100 men. What matters is you're safe and happy. I don't want you to be hurt, regardless of who you sleep with. And I promise that if it's me, I won't hurt you.”

 

      Baekhyun's eyes watered and he wiped at them with the sleeves of his turtleneck. No one had ever shown that much genuine concern for his happiness. No one had forgiven his past so simply when it came to sleeping with him now. Even when he was still in the dorms, people had treated him like the scum of the earth and like he was an actual disease, even after they slept with them. Why did Xiumin always have to say the things Baekhyun had been dying to hear for so long? Why did he have to tug at Baekhyun's heart this way?

      “You ok?” Xiumin asked, leaning forward and brushing Baekhyun's bangs away from his teary eyes.

      “That's the first time someone has said that kind of thing to me,” Baekhyun mumbled through sniffles. “I'm not used to hearing that.” Xiumin smiled sadly.

      “I'll say it to you whenever you need to hear it, ok? It doesn't matter what you've done in the past. I just want you to be happy.”

      “I'm happy with you,” Baekhyun whispered, feeling his cheeks flush.

 

      He was afraid to take things further. He was already treading on dangerous territory admitting that out loud to Xiumin of all people. He couldn't let his heart run wild. Baekhyun always had a tendency to get addicted to the wrong things, but Xiumin felt so right. The fact that he wasn't even human was starting to become a small echo in the back of Baekhyun's head rather than a blaring siren like it had been. Now all Baekhyun could feel was fondness. That was an understatement, but it was hard for Baekhyun to admit more than that. He'd never felt this way for someone before, and he'd never admitted to having feelings for anyone before. This was already hard for him, not even taking into consideration the fact that he was falling for a robot.

 

      Xiumin simply smiled and held out his hand for Baekhyun to take. Baekhyun looked at it curiously, then glanced up at Xiumin. The latter wiggled his fingers to communicate that he wanted Baekhyun to actually take his hand rather than stare at it. Timidly, Baekhyun did as commanded and they headed to the register to pay for their food. Baekhyun was busy digging through his wallet, but Xiumin motioned for him to stop and pulled out money for both their meals.

      “My treat,” he whispered.

 

      They walked hand in hand back to Baekhyun's car, and Baekhyun couldn't help but let his smile beam. This felt almost like a date, and Baekhyun hadn't ever really been on one with someone before. He liked being led around to different places by Xiumin, especially since he knew the other was trying to cheer him up. He liked that Xiumin was always so willing to listen to him and give him the reassurance he desperately needed. He _liked_ Xiumin, simple as that.

 

      When they were inside Baekhyun's car, he let out a small sigh. He'd been so eager to get home earlier, but now he found himself wanting to spend more time out with Xiumin. He could do that at home of course, but he was also enjoying the date-like scenario at the restaurant. Little did Baekhyun know, Xiumin had already planned for there to be more to this not-really-a-date outing.

      “I know you wanted to go home, but there was somewhere else I wanted to go to with you,” Xiumin stated.

      “Really? Where?” Baekhyun gasped eagerly. He didn't miss the small, fleeting smile on Xiumin's face.

      “The movie theater. I checked and there were some interesting movies playing right now. I wanted to see if you'd be willing to go to one with me.”

      “You want to take me to the movies?” Baekhyun gawked.

      “If you're willing to come. Movies aren't really that fun to go to by yourself.”

      “I'd love to come.”

      “Then let's go to the theater!”  
  


      Baekhyun smiled, feeling his cheeks heat up again. After that heavy talk in the restaurant, Baekhyun felt 20 times lighter. Xiumin seemed to have perked up as well, then again it might have just been Baekhyun being more receptive to his good mood. Either way, Baekhyun was pretty sure this was the best day he'd had in ages, even better than goofing around with Kyungsoo and Chanyeol.

 

      When they got to the theater, they stood in line, staring at the movie list trying to decide what they wanted to watch. Baekhyun had a feeling a romance would be a little too suggestive and Xiumin might get bored with it. There was a comedy playing as well, but Baekhyun wasn't sure if he wanted to deal with stupid, poor humor. They ended up settling on an action movie with some elements of horror to it, which Baekhyun knew he would probably regret. At least if he got scared, it would give him an excuse to cling to Xiumin. Since when had he gone out of his way to flirt with someone like this? He really was spiraling out of control.

 

      They were both still full from lunch, not that Xiumin needed to eat at all, so they went straight to the auditorium. It was a little awkward sitting there through the ads without anything to snack on to waste the time, but it wasn't an unpleasant silence either. As the lights dimmed and the movie started, Baekhyun found his attention torn between the film and Xiumin. The other was completely engrossed in the plot as always, but Baekhyun found it endearing to watch his reactions to the movie.

 

      When the first big scare of the movie occurred, Baekhyun jumped in his seat and let out a small gasp. He was pretty sure he saw Xiumin jerk in his seat as well, but it wasn't nearly as dramatic as Baekhyun's response. Baekhyun let out a shaky breath, only to jump again a few seconds later. Being the giant scaredy cat that he was, he was clinging to Xiumin's arm by the third scare, leaning on him and using his shoulder to block his view from time to time. He figured Xiumin would have pulled away because he was being annoying and clingy, but instead, he just heard Xiumin laugh softly and readjust his arm so Baekhyun could cling to it better, which he did. For the entire movie, Baekhyun was resting his head on Xiumin's shoulder, gripping his arm tightly and hiding behind his shoulder when the movie became too intense. It was a great film, but Baekhyun was bad with jump scares, which he was finding were ample throughout the film.

 

      When it was over, Baekhyun got up from his seat, legs feeling shaky from being seated for so long and from the intense movie. When they'd made it back to the front of the movie theater, Xiumin nudged his shoulder, a cheeky grin on his face.

      “You sure that was the movie you actually wanted to see? Cuz you had your eyes closed for half of it,” he teased.

      “Shut up,” Baekhyun pouted. “I was watching! I just don't handle jump scares well.”

      “Yeah, I guess. They were pretty overused by the end of it,” Xiumin commented. Baekhyun nodded absentmindedly, not ready to analyze the entire film yet. “They still managed to scare you though!”

      “Last time I go to the movies with you!” Baekhyun huffed, stomping off towards his car.

 

      Xiumin laughed, something Baekhyun didn't know he was capable of, and rushed after him, nudging his shoulder again while rapidly apologizing. The grin on his face made it obvious that he wasn't serious though. Baekhyun sighed and rolled his eyes dramatically before breaking down laughing as well. Xiumin really was the only one that could ever make Baekhyun feel this happy and _alive_.

 

      During the drive home, they finally began to talk about the movie from the perspective of Baekhyun's textbooks. He didn't exactly want to give a huge analysis since that was all he ever did in school, but he found it was easy to get into it with Xiumin, talking about the writing and cinematography. Before either of them knew it, they were pulling into a parking spot at Baekhyun's apartment complex.

 

      When they got inside, Baekhyun's stomach growled rather loudly, so Xiumin decided to make dinner. Not wanting to feel like a complete waste of space, Baekhyun joined him, and the two cooked together. Xiumin ate a small portion of what they made, saying he'd had more than enough that day to be converted into energy. Following dinner, they both glanced at the clock, noting the evening was still far from over. At that point, Baekhyun pulled his movie collection out, and they set a movie up on Baekhyun's laptop and laid on his bed to watch it.

 

      This movie was a lot more mellow, with a side of romance but also a compelling plot. Baekhyun and Xiumin were propped against pillows on the headboard. Their shoulders were the only thing that touched at first, but as Baekhyun relaxed and got sleepier as the night wore on, he cautiously rested his cheek on Xiumin's shoulder. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when Xiumin simply rested his head on top of Baekhyun's. Soon enough, Baekhyun was cuddled against Xiumin on his side, arm timidly draped across Xiumin's stomach. Even when the movie ended and the DVD was back to the main menu, Baekhyun stayed snuggled against Xiumin. He rarely held someone like this, afraid to get too attached, but it was pointless when he was with Xiumin. He was already so painfully attached, he didn't want to let go. He didn't let go, in fact, until he started dozing off and Xiumin shook his shoulder gently.

      “We should go to sleep,” Xiumin whispered.

      “Yeah,” Baekhyun sighed in agreement.

 

      Baekhyun pushed himself off the bed with a groan and put his laptop on his desk. After that, he changed into comfortable clothes and did his usual bathroom routine. When he got back to his room, Xiumin was standing in his corner getting ready to sit down and go into charging mode. Baekhyun had already been so greedy that day, but there was something else that he really wanted. It never hurt to ask did it?

      “Will you sleep in bed with me?” He asked quietly. Xiumin looked at him in surprise, but eventually he melted into a smile, a sight that was becoming alarmingly more frequent.

      “Gonna have nightmares because of that movie?” He joked. Baekhyun let out a soft laugh and smirked.

      “I just might. Better sleep with me to ward them off.”

 

      He said it with far more confidence than he was actually feeling, but thankfully, it worked. Xiumin shook his head, laughing softly, and walked over to the opposite side of the bed, pulling the covers back. They slipped in together and Baekhyun was pleasantly surprised when Xiumin wrapped his arms loosely around his waist. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment, then Xiumin broke the tense silence.

      “I'm going to go into recharge mode soon. Do you think holding you like this will keep you safe?” There was still a teasing tone in his voice, but it made Baekhyun's heart do flips all the same.

      “Yeah. I'll be just fine...Thank you for today.”

      “It was my pleasure. I had a lot of fun.”

      “Me too. Sleep well.”

      “I will,” Xiumin said softly, gaze seeming distant all of a sudden, almost like he was sad. “You sleep well too, ok?”

      “I will.”

 

      Baekhyun watched as the light seemed to fade in Xiumin's eyes and they closed as he went into his charging state. His arms were still around Baekhyun's waist, which was probably the most comforting feeling he'd ever experienced. He reached out and brushed his fingers through Xiumin's hair. He never woke up until he was fully recharged, so Baekhyun was safe to be affectionate with him now.

 

      He was being _affectionate_. He was staring longingly at Xiumin, wrapped in his embrace. This was all so new and different to Baekhyun, but he didn't want it to stop. He wanted Xiumin to treat him this way all the time, not just out of pity or some need to cheer Baekhyun up. For the first time in his life, Baekhyun wanted a relationship. Love might have been a bit too much of a stretch for him still, but he definitely had more than platonic feelings for Xiumin. He'd really fallen for a robot.

 

      Looking at Xiumin asleep beside him, he really felt human. The entire day, Baekhyun hadn't felt like he was with a robot at all. Xiumin was his own being, and Baekhyun was fairly convinced he was capable of forming opinions and having feelings just like any other human. There was no other way to explain how he'd been acting ever since they slept together. Not only that, Xiumin said he got _lonely_. Machines couldn't get lonely. Xiumin was different. He had to be.

 

      It made Baekhyun sad to realize Xiumin got lonely though. He'd never really noticed or bothered to think about what Xiumin was feeling. He would try to do better from now on though. If Xiumin was able to feel loneliness, was he able to love? Baekhyun wasn't sure he wanted to get his hopes up for that one. Even if Xiumin was capable of that emotion, would he actually love someone like him? Baekhyun doubted it. Accepting him and loving him were two different things, and while Xiumin accepted him thus far, Baekhyun couldn't fathom Xiumin coming to love him. It would probably just be a hopeless, one-sided crush.

 

      Feeling his thoughts begin to spiral into a dangerous place, Baekhyun quickly shook his head, trying to block all his thoughts out of his mind. He settled on staring at Xiumin instead to cheer himself up. He really was beautiful. How could Baekhyun not fall for him when he was gorgeous and kind? It was an instant-kill combination. He would let his crush blossom for a little while longer, until it became too painful for him to handle. Then he would let it all go.

 

      He leaned forward so his forehead was pressed against Xiumin's. Small things like this while Xiumin was sleeping wouldn't hurt. If Xiumin caught him like this in the morning, Baekhyun could always use the excuse that he was doing it in his sleep. Baekhyun let out one last shaky breath, and pressed his lips gently against the tip of Xiumin's nose. He'd never really kissed anyone, especially like this, but he definitely could get used to the feeling. When he pulled away, he let a small smile form on his lips before closing his eyes and deciding it was finally time to sleep.

      “Goodnight, Xiumin. I like you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeeey, back again :D  Look, I gave you a fluffy, happy chapter after all the angst of last chapter OTL  And Baekhyun be feeling things and being affectionate dun dun dunnnnnn!  The plot will be thickening again soon, so brace yourselves!  Although things won't get too bad for a little while longer, so don't panic about that lol!  Enjoy the xiubaek cuteness~


	7. Chapter 7

      Following their impromptu date, Baekhyun and Xiumin spent much of their free time together. Even if they simply sat in silence doing homework or reading, they were side by side on Baekhyun's bed. Baekhyun was the one clinging to Xiumin more often than not, but the latter rather enjoyed it. He was still fairly overprotective of Baekhyun after what had happened as well, so having him by his side most of the time was relieving. He didn't fail to notice Baekhyun's slight changes in behavior though.

 

      They were all subtle shifts, but Baekhyun seemed more affectionate than before. His fingers would linger on Xiumin's skin whenever they touched. If they held hands, Baekhyun always seemed reluctant to let go. More often than not, Xiumin was the one that 'fell asleep' first to the sight of Baekhyun staring at him in what seemed to be adoration. Perhaps it was because Xiumin had saved him, and Baekhyun was simply expressing his thanks through physical actions. There was no way it could be more than that. After all, Xiumin was just a robot, incapable of receiving affection.

 

      Even acknowledging that fact, Xiumin still found himself feeling disappointed. That was probably what scared him the most. He wasn't even in it that deep with Baekhyun in terms of an actual relationship, but he still felt this strange disappointment every time he felt like Baekhyun was far away from him and there was nothing he could do to bridge the gap. They were confusing feelings, but Xiumin had learned the hard way that avoiding Baekhyun and those feelings would just make things worse, so he decided to go to the one person he could really talk freely to.

 

      Xiumin had asked Chanyeol to meet him after one of his shifts that ended in the afternoon. He'd made sure to let Baekhyun know that he would be staying at work to talk to Chanyeol, and that if he wanted to, he could go straight home instead of waiting for him to finish. It wasn't one of Baekhyun's late nights at school, so he would still be walking to his car in daylight. That settled Xiumin's nerves slightly, though he didn't want to make a habit of leaving Baekhyun on his own. He just really needed to talk to Chanyeol about a _lot_ of things, most of which he couldn't say in the presence of Baekhyun.

 

      They sat at a small table in the corner of his cafe and talked quietly. Xiumin didn't want any of his coworkers to overhear his discussion, lest they hear something about robots and get too interested or panicked. Chanyeol seemed to understand his wariness, so he made sure to keep his usually booming voice down. They mostly talked about simple topics, catching up on each other's happenings for the past few weeks. It wasn't until they'd gotten comfortable in the conversation that Chanyeol finally brought up the real reason Xiumin had called him there.

      “I'm sure you have a lot of questions,” he sighed. “I'll try to answer what I can.”

      “Where do I even start?” Xiumin asked, frustrated. “How did I even end up with Baekhyun and not you?”

      “The guys at the labs didn't think I would be a good enough influence on you to wake you up, so they wanted me to give you to a human that could give you the proper care and exposure to humanity that you needed.”

      “That's bullshit,” Xiumin grumbled. “You would have taken great care of me.”

      “And Baekhyun hasn't?”

      “No, he has. I'm just...still really confused about him. What about the others? Did they make it or...?”

      “They didn't make it, Min,” Chanyeol said sadly. “You were the only one that safely made it. Everyone else is dead.”

      “That can't be,” Xiumin whispered, sounding like he'd been punched in the gut.

      “These scientists are top notch, aren't they!? How could only I...What about _him_!?” He asked frantically. “He had to have made it! He can't be...”

      “He's dead, Min,” Chanyeol said, voice barely audible. “They couldn't save him...”

      “No...”

 

      Xiumin crossed his arms in front of himself, shaking his head. He knew Chanyeol wouldn't lie about this, but he couldn't accept it. A part of him had been holding out for the others, and now that he'd learned they had died, that _he_ had died, it was like the last bit of hope had been torn away from him.

      “I'm sorry,” Chanyeol muttered. “They tried to save him...Both of them.”

      “I loved him, Yeol...”

      “I know you did. I was the only one you ever told, remember? I was trying to set you two up before everything happened.”

      “What am I supposed to do now?”

      “You can mourn for him if you need to...But don't let it ruin your life.”

      “I know that,” Xiumin huffed. “But I can't just move on overnight...He meant the world to me.”

      “You're not alone anymore at least. Baekhyun is there, right?”

      “Yeah, but...”

      “But what? He's not the same?”

      “Well yeah, there's that, but he also just sees me as a robot. He's kind to me, but he'll never...” He cut himself off, not sure why he was thinking these kinds of thoughts in the first place. Unfortunately, Chanyeol had always been good at reading him.

      “He'll never love you or think of you as anything more?” Chanyeol supplied. Xiumin nodded slowly. “How do you know that?”

      “Because I'm not human. And there are millions of other people that would be better for him, I'm sure. I don't even know if I'm capable of loving him or if I'd even want to, but lately I've been feeling...weird.”

      “How so?”

      “It's comforting just having him by my side...It's probably just us growing closer as friends, if we could even be called that. But when I think about how he only sees me as a robot, and how I might just be an object to use as he sees fit, my chest hurts a little.”

      “Min, I don't want to alarm you, but it already sounds like you're attached to him. And honestly, I don't think Baekhyun simply thinks of you as an object. He wouldn't treat you as gently as he does if he did feel that way. Are you sure it's not love? Or even a crush?”

      “Baekhyun is a good person, and I want to take care of him, but I don't think that's love.”

      “No, but that doesn't mean it couldn't become love. You obviously care for him.”

      “You forget I'm all wires and metal. Baekhyun would never fall in love with something like that. He'd probably never believe me if I ever did fall in love with him and decided to tell him. It's not logical or possible. If he has any common sense at all, he'll realize that love with a machine isn't possible.”

      “You aren't just a machine though, and you and I both know it. I think Baekhyun's figuring it out too, even if you haven't told him anything. He obviously cares for you, Minseok. And I think you care for him, even if it's not love just yet.”

      “It just seems so hopeless. I wish _he_ hadn't died. If he were still around, he would be exactly like me. I wouldn't have to feel this weird and this...confused. We could have just been together, and Baekhyun could find someone who was like him as well. Everyone would be happy.”

      “You don't know that for sure, Min. _He's_ gone, but now you have Baekhyun. And even if _he_ were still around, you don't know if Baekhyun would find someone else. You're the only one who's been able to get him to open up so far. Surely that has to mean something to you, right? Would you really wish for Baekhyun to not be in your life?”

      “If it meant I got _him_ back, maybe...But I would probably miss Baekhyun a lot. Why do I have to feel this way, Yeol? I'm not supposed to fall for him.”

      “Who says you aren't supposed to? Your body? You can't focus on that alone, Min. Putting everything that complicates the situation aside, do you think that you like Baekhyun?”

      “Definitely as a friend...”

      “Do you think it could ever be more?”

      “I don't know...maybe?”

      “I don't want to urge you or push you into relationships you don't want to be in, but I think Baekhyun could be a really good change for you after everything you've been through. Besides, even if _he_ was still around, your love was mostly one-sided, and you never got the opportunity to turn it into something more. Maybe it'll be different with Baekhyun.”

      “It could end terribly though.”

      “Yeah, it could. But you can't hold yourself back from happiness. _He's_ gone, Min. But Baekhyun isn't. Maybe it's time to move on. You don't have to right away, but I think if you're having weird, conflicted feelings about Baekhyun, that's probably the first step in liking him. Maybe you should just let things develop naturally and stop trying to force your feelings to disappear.”

 

      Minseok groaned rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. He didn't know how to feel anymore. The person he'd once loved was dead, and his heart was trying to betray him with Baekhyun. All he could seem to settle on was the fact that he was a giant hunk of metal. He wasn't even human, so why was he even having to put up with these painful feelings? Why couldn't everything have remained easy like before he'd woken up?

 

      Chanyeol reached across the table and gave his shoulder a few comforting pats. Xiumin let his hands drop from his face to his lap, and he tried to give Chanyeol a reassuring smile, though he was certain it came out as more of a grimace. Chanyeol jumped as his phone suddenly chimed, and he pulled it out of his pocket to look at the text he'd received.

      “Is your boyfriend messaging you? Wish I could be that carefree.”

      “No, not my boyfriend. Yours,” Chanyeol corrected without looking up from his phone. Xiumin's eyes went wide.

      “My what?”

      “Ah, Baekhyun. Sorry~” Chanyeol singsonged. Xiumin kicked his shin from under the table, causing Chanyeol to jerk back to avoid the blow. “Alright, alright! I'll stop with the boyfriend jokes! He really is contacting me though.”

      “Why? Is he ok?” Xiumin asked, instantly worried.

 

      He didn't have a good way to contact Baekhyun because he hadn't saved up enough to buy a phone yet. He'd sworn off letting Baekhyun get one for him, since it would be too big of an added expense to Baekhyun's already stretched paycheck. He knew that Xiumin would be with Chanyeol though, so if he was messaging Chanyeol, something could have been wrong. Was he hurt? Had he been attacked? A million different, terrifying thoughts flooded Xiumin's mind. Chanyeol must have realized that Xiumin was worried, because he rapidly shook his head.

      “No, he's fine! Don't worry!” He soothed. Xiumin forced himself to ignore the smirk on Chanyeol's face, knowing exactly what it implied. “I'd actually asked him to meet me here as well...I hope you don't mind. I planned to meet him after our conversation.”

      “No, it's fine. You're allowed to meet whoever you want...Is he here now?”

      “Yeah, but I haven't told him I'm inside already, so I'm guessing he's still waiting in his car. Do you mind if I tell him to come in?”

      “Yeah. We talked about everything we could really talk about in a public place anyway. We were just going to go in circles if we kept talking.”

      “Alright, I'll tell him to come in and that you're here too~”

 

      Xiumin gulped, feeling his chest constrict uncomfortably again. He was nervous to see Baekhyun. He always was. Did that mean he liked him? Or was it just because he was shy in the current relationship that they had, whatever it was. It was hard to define the border between friendship and something more, especially when friendship seemed strange given one of them was a living, breathing person and the other was nothing more than a complex design of metal and wires.

 

      The bell above the door rang and Baekhyun walked into the small cafe, glancing around until he spotted the table Xiumin and Chanyeol were sitting at. He waved shyly and quickly walked over, timidly taking the seat beside Xiumin. The latter fidgeted slightly, then sat up, turning to Baekhyun.

      “Did you want something to drink? I'll go order you something.”

      “Huh? Uh, ok...Something cold, if that's alright.”

      “Gotcha. Do you want something sweet or bitter?”

      “Sweet...”

 

      Xiumin nodded and got up from his seat. Baekhyun watched him, his cheeks turning slightly red. He always got flustered when Xiumin went out of his way to do something kind for him. When he turned to Chanyeol, he noticed the boy had a wide smirk on his face, also staring at Xiumin.

      “Is something up?” Baekhyun asked awkwardly. Chanyeol simply shook his head.

      “Nope, not really. Just observing.”

      “Ok...?”

 

      They waited until Xiumin was back at their table, setting a drink down in front of Baekhyun and sliding back into his seat beside him. Chanyeol didn't fail to notice how Xiumin seemed to sit a little closer to Baekhyun than he was before, nor did he fail to notice how Baekhyun seemed to lean closer to Xiumin in response. He wasn't exactly the best at reading these kinds of situations, but even he could tell there were sparks between them, no robotic puns intended. As soon as Xiumin was situated and comfortable again, Baekhyun turned his attention back to Chanyeol.

      “So what did you want to talk to me about?” Baekhyun asked. “You were pretty vague about it in your message...”

      “I, uh, wanted to talk to you about something Kyungsoo related...”

      “Did you two get in a fight?”

      “No, I've just...been thinking about something. Actually, it's probably good that Xiumin is here too cuz I can ask you both about this.”

      “What do you want to know?” Baekhyun asked.

      “What is sex like?” Chanyeol asked.

 

      Baekhyun had been taking a sip of his drink, and he practically spat it out at the question. Xiumin patted his back, trying to soothe him, but he was just as flustered. How was he supposed to respond to a question like that?

      “Are you planning on having sex with Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun asked when he'd recovered from coughing.

      “Maybe not now, but sometime in the future?” Chanyeol sighed. “I just want to know more and think about it. Is it too personal of a question to ask?”

      “No, it's not,” Baekhyun comforted. “Do you just want to know what it feels like or do you want to know like, logistics and stuff? Cuz we might want to take that conversation to somewhere private.”

      “For now, feelings and stuff is fine,” Chanyeol said shyly. “I'm not ready to do it yet, but I was curious about some things.”

      “It feels good,” Baekhyun started cautiously. “I mean, I wouldn't have had so much sex in the past if it hadn't,” he muttered. “I imagine having sex with someone you like feels even better.”

      “Doesn't experience matter?”

      “I mean, everyone has to start somewhere, right? Experience can make it even better, but with the right communication and movements, as long as you're pleasing your partner, that's all that matters really.”

      “What about Kyungsoo? Do you think he'd want to sleep with someone like me?”

      “Definitely,” Baekhyun stated instantly. “He really likes you, Chanyeol. I think he'd love to have sex with you, but he also wants you to be totally on board, so don't pressure yourself to just please him. Going into sex prematurely could hurt you both emotionally.”

      “What about you, Xiumin?” Chanyeol asked suddenly. “What are your thoughts on this?”

      “I'm not sure I'm a good person to ask. The only person I've slept with is Baekhyun.”

      “Not to delve too deep, but did it feel good for you too?”

      “It...” Xiumin started before pausing. He glanced at Baekhyun, who was already a dark shade of red. “Truthfully, it felt more like a robotic process for me than anything,” he sighed. “I wish I could have felt the physical elation and everything, but I don't think my body was built for that. I'm guessing it's a shortcoming similar to lacking taste buds.”

      “Oh...” Chanyeol mumbled dejectedly. “That's too bad...”

 

      Baekhyun stared at Xiumin with wide eyes. Had he really not felt much of anything the night they had sex? Was it really just a one-way thing that only Baekhyun could enjoy? It didn't sit well with him. He wanted Xiumin to feel the same things Baekhyun felt when they slept together.

      “Sex is about more than just the physical stuff though, right?” Xiumin commented, as if trying to recover from a glum situation. “I mean, there's a lot of emotions and trust that go into it, and I think that when you're ready to take that step with Kyungsoo, regardless of what happens in the act, he'll be by your side and he'll look out for you and love you. I mean, that's how love goes, right?”

      “Yeah, I guess,” Chanyeol said, nodding slowly.

 

      Baekhyun remained silent. He'd never really had sex in a loving relationship before. Even when he'd had it with someone he liked, it was always one-sided and usually ended in more heartbreak than anything. Would Xiumin ever feel that way about him? Even if he couldn't really take satisfaction in the action, was there a way they could come to that point of understanding and love for each other? Baekhyun didn't know if he was ready to take that step now, but in the future, he didn't think he'd mind taking that leap for Xiumin. If Xiumin could love him back, Baekhyun was pretty sure he'd be happy with anything and do anything to keep their relationship going. He was still far too afraid to admit any of that to Xiumin though.

      “Thanks for talking to me,” Chanyeol finally stated after a moment of silence.

      “It help put a lot in perspective.”

      “Are you leaving already?” Baekhyun asked, noting how Chanyeol was stuffing his phone in his pocket and seemingly getting ready to leave.

      “Yeah, I actually got a date with Kyungsoo to get to,” the boy laughed while scratching the back of his head. “I'm glad you guys talked to me about all this, cuz I think it'll make our date go a lot smoother.”

      “Has he been asking about sex?” Baekhyun asked.

      “No, but I'm someone that gets lost in thought, and I don't want to dampen our date with my nervous thinking, you know?”

      “Yeah, I can see that.”

      “I'll let you two go as well, cuz I'm sure you'd like to get back home.”

      “Ah, yeah, I guess we should,” Baekhyun agreed, glancing at the time on his phone.  “Bye, Chanyeol! Good luck!”

      “Bye Yeol,” Xiumin called as Chanyeol walked away. “Thanks for talking to me.”

      “Yeol?” Baekhyun repeated to himself.

 

      He'd never heard Xiumin call Chanyeol that before. It held a strange sense of intimacy to it. Were Xiumin and Chanyeol already that close? Had they met sometime prior to Chanyeol giving Xiumin to him? That had to be it. Xiumin never used a nickname with Baekhyun though. It was a little sad, especially since he'd still spent more time with Xiumin than Chanyeol had. Perhaps he and Xiumin weren't as close to each other as he had thought.

 

~*~

      Chanyeol's date with Kyungsoo was mellow as always. Kyungsoo wasn't really one for going out on extravagant dates, so they usually ended up spending time together either at a single destination or at home. Chanyeol's personal favorite dates were the ones spent at Kyungsoo's home, snuggling together marathoning a show or making out. Tonight they were doing a good amount of both. Much later in the evening, when the two were curled up in Kyungsoo's bed, Chanyeol's mind drifted back to what he'd been thinking about earlier. He'd thought Kyungsoo was about to fall asleep, but to his surprise, the other rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow so he could look down at Chanyeol and brush his fingers through his hair.

      “You ok? You seem quiet,” Kyungsoo said softly.

      “Huh? Yeah, just tired...”

      “You know I can see right through you.”

      “Yeah,” Chanyeol pouted. “I was just thinking about us.”

      “That's not good,” Kyungsoo laughed. “You look too serious. What are you thinking?”

      “Just you and me...and how we'll be in the future...”

      “You mean if we'll still be together?”

      “Well, I want us to still be together, but...”

      “Is this about having sex with me?” Kyungsoo asked, causing Chanyeol to blush. “Did Baekhyun say something weird to you?”

      “No, I actually asked him about it and he gave a pretty genuine answer.”

      “But you're still thinking about it...Do you want to talk to me and see if that puts your mind at ease? I mean, I _am_ your boyfriend after all.”

      “I'm just kinda scared about having sex,” Chanyeol mumbled, looking up at Kyungsoo apologetically. The latter's expression remained gentle and understanding.

      “There's so much that scares me. What if I suck? What if you don't enjoy it? What if I don't enjoy it? What if I'm not good enough for you?”

      “You never have to worry about that,” Kyungsoo quickly cut him off. “I love you. You'll always be good enough for me. Is this because I told you that I slept around a lot?”

      “Maybe a little. You've just had so much more experience and I know Baekhyun said that feelings are important too, but I don't want to disappoint you...”

      “You wouldn't disappoint me. Having sex with you would be amazing regardless of how experienced you are. Something like that doesn't matter to me. And we won't have sex until you're ready, which you obviously aren't right now.”

      “What if I'm not ready for a long time?”

      “Then we won't have sex for a long time,” Kyungsoo said simply.

      “But what if I'm never ready? What if you get tired of waiting? I just...don't want you to leave me.”

      “I won't leave you,” Kyungsoo whispered, leaning down to press a kiss on Chanyeol's lips. “I would never leave you for something like that. That would be cruel and insensitive of me to force you before you were ready. I wouldn't do that to you. I love you too much.”

      “You won't get upset with me?”

      “Never. And if you're scared to do the full thing, we'll start small, whenever you're ready for that, and work our way up, ok? I will never push you into sex before you're ready.”

      “I love you, Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol whispered, looking like he was about to cry. Kyungsoo laughed gently and leaned down, hugging him.

      “I love you too, Chanyeol. So, so much.”

 

      Chanyeol sighed and relaxed as Kyungsoo adjusted himself on his shoulder, laying partially on top of him with his arm around his waist. It was Chanyeol's favorite way to sleep with Kyungsoo. The extra weight on his chest felt comforting.

      “Isn't my shoulder hard?” Chanyeol teased as always. “Wouldn't a pillow be more comfortable?”

      “Mm, nope. This is the best pillow there is,” Kyungsoo sighed contentedly. “Goodnight, baby.”

      “Goodnight.”

 

      Kyungsoo's eyes drooped shut and he let out a sleepy sigh. Chanyeol ran his hands through his boyfriend's hair, then pulled him closer, wrapping both arms around him. He was lucky to have someone so patient and understanding as his boyfriend. He was lucky to have Kyungsoo.

 

~*~

      Following their meeting with Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Xiumin had gone home together. Baekhyun had spent most of the afternoon slaving over his homework, and Xiumin actually attempted to help him with some of it because it was rather difficult. By the time they were finished, it was more or less dinner time, so they cooked something together and ate. When they went back to Baekhyun's bedroom to spend the evening peacefully, he sat on the edge of his bed, kicking his legs while thinking.

 

      He couldn't get Xiumin's words from earlier out of his head. Baekhyun felt bad for being the only one that had enjoyed having sex. It felt like he'd taken advantage of Xiumin without realizing it. There had to be a way for Xiumin to enjoy it as well. If he couldn't feel the release like Baekhyun did, maybe there were other actions that Xiumin could feel. Baekhyun could let him touch him, maybe even kiss him. Would Xiumin even enjoy that though? This is all just Baekhyun assuming that Xiumin would take pleasure in his body. Perhaps Xiumin wouldn't enjoy having sex with him regardless of what he did. This was all assuming they were even going to have sex again. With how Xiumin had reacted last time, Baekhyun wouldn't be surprised if Xiumin never wanted to touch him again. He let out a quiet sigh at the thought, jumping a few seconds later when Xiumin spoke up.

      “You ok? Are you tired?”

      “Yeah, a little,” Baekhyun shrugged.

      “Were you upset about something then?”

      “Not anything out of the ordinary.”

      “So the usual angsty thoughts?” Xiumin asked, sitting beside Baekhyun and nudging his shoulder. “Talk to me. I'm here for you if you're upset.”

      “It's just...You didn't even feel anything when we had sex, right? That's...disappointing. I didn't want it to be just about me, but in the end, it was.”

      “That's ok,” Xiumin soothed, bopping their shoulders together again. “I wanted to sleep with you that night. And I wanted it to be about you.”

      “I don't want it to always be like that though. I want it to be about you too. I...I want to sleep with you again...But I want you to enjoy it too...”

      “Baekhyun...”

 

      Xiumin hadn't even really thought about sleeping with Baekhyun again. He probably should have seen it coming, given his and Baekhyun's ambiguous relationship. What was Xiumin supposed to say? Did he want to sleep with Baekhyun again? It didn't much matter if he did or not. Like Baekhyun had said, Xiumin wouldn't really feel much from it. Did he want to feel used like he had before though? Baekhyun had mentioned making it about both of them. That had to mean he meant something to Baekhyun right?

 

      Chanyeol's advice from earlier was eating away at him as well. Everything he'd once known was gone. Clinging to the past would get him no where. He didn't dislike Baekhyun by any means. In fact, he was starting to think he might be feeling more than just platonic things for him. Maybe Chanyeol was right. Maybe it was time to move on, and Baekhyun was a good place to start. He wouldn't get his hopes up or expect too much to come from their relationship, but maybe he could at least move on.

      “Sorry,” Baekhyun muttered after a rather painful silence. “The last time we slept together, you were really upset afterward, right? You wouldn't want to sleep with me again. Forget I asked.”

      “Baekhyun, no!” Xiumin gasped, feeling bad for taking too long to answer. “It's not like that. I had a lot on my mind, but I wasn't...I don't mind sleeping with you. I said I would when you wanted to anyways.”

      “I don't want it to just be about me,” Baekhyun mumbled. “If you don't want this, we won't do it. I won't die.”

      “Let's do it. I want this, Baekhyun.”

 

      The surprised, hopeful, somewhat teary eyes that Xiumin stared into were almost too much. Was Baekhyun really that anxious about everything? Xiumin still regretted ignoring him after the last time they had sex. It had obviously left a lasting impression on Baekhyun. Maybe this would be good for both of them. Baekhyun needed to relax, and Xiumin needed to move on. He would worry about the feelings that sleeping with Baekhyun would bring later. For now, he just needed to stop thinking and do what he felt was right. What he felt like he wanted.

 

      Xiumin stood up and pulled his shirt over his head. That seemed to be Baekhyun's cue for him to start undressing as well. He timidly pulled his shirt off, stealing glances at Xiumin from time to time. This time around, they were both a lot shier with each other. It was a nice change. When they were finally naked and Xiumin was hovering over Baekhyun on the bed, they started conversing again.

      “Same deal as last time?” Xiumin asked.

      “Um, you can...” Baekhyun started nervously. “You can touch me, and kiss me, and stuff...Maybe not on the lips, but other things are ok.”

      “You're sure?”

      “Mhm,” Baekhyun hummed while nodding.

 

      Xiumin leaned down, gently kissing Baekhyun's neck and testing the waters. When Baekhyun didn't cringe in response, Xiumin let himself do a bit more. He ran his hands along Baekhyun's body, wishing he could feel how soft his skin was, but his sense of touch was limited. He could still feel Baekhyun tremble underneath him though, and hear the small mewls coming from his lips as Xiumin's fingers traced over his nipples. His moans only grew in size when Xiumin placed his mouth on one of them, teasing it with his tongue.

 

      Baekhyun's arms wrapped around Xiumin's shoulders, while his legs naturally wrapped around his waist. He wanted to show Xiumin what he was feeling, to be as physical as possible. If Xiumin's body was incapable of feeling this kind of pleasure, Baekhyun would try to make Xiumin feel it through his own body. It was a strange thought and probably made no sense logically, but Baekhyun needed to communicate somehow that this meant something to him. He wanted and needed it to mean something to Xiumin too.

 

      Baekhyun wasn't sure how long he laid there, letting Xiumin touch him and tease him. Xiumin was busy placing soft kisses on Baekhyun's abdomen, stopping right at his naval, then repeating. Xiumin could feel each shudder and sudden intake of breath that Baekhyun made. He was starting to believe that the erection he had wasn't entirely because he was programmed to get one. Baekhyun was beautiful, and he was kind. If Xiumin was going to sleep with anyone, he'd definitely want it to be Baekhyun. Maybe he really did like Baekhyun after all.

 

      When they were finally linked together, Baekhyun was gripping Xiumin's arms, harder than he had the first night, but he wanted Xiumin to really _feel_ it. To feel how desperately Baekhyun held him. He wanted him to feel how much he wanted him, but that was a lot harder to convey. Baekhyun didn't force his moans back as Xiumin began to move. He didn't want to keep anything from Xiumin. Instead, he constantly pulled him closer, his arms wrapped around him in some way the entire time.

 

      Baekhyun came hard multiple times that night, and Xiumin found his own release to coincide for the most part. Baekhyun fell asleep in his arms again, completely spent and content, with Xiumin still inside of him. The latter gently pulled out and took care of cleaning Baekhyun and himself up to the best of his ability. Afterward, he slid into bed beside Baekhyun, smiling when the other boy snuggled closer to him in his sleep. Xiumin let his arm carefully rest on Baekhyun's hip, thumb running along what he assumed was soft skin. He resented the fact that he couldn't actually feel it.

 

      Lying here beside Baekhyun felt both right and wrong at the same time. He really did like him, whether it was love or not. He couldn't say the thought of laying beside him like this all the time wasn't crossing his mind, but the painful reminder that he wasn't the same as Baekhyun was ever present. He wasn't a human, and as far as Baekhyun knew, he was incapable of expressing true emotions. He was simply a companion and a safe option for Baekhyun, and it was heartbreaking to acknowledge. Xiumin wanted to be something more than that. He wanted Baekhyun to like him for who he was and not what he was. He was already in too deep.

 

      Xiumin closed his eyes with a sigh, trying to force the negative thoughts out. He was just about to go into his recharge mode when Baekhyun's cellphone started ringing. He sighed, letting go of Baekhyun and rolling over to check who it was. Xiumin had never answered Baekhyun's phone before since he respected his personal space. He was just planning to silence it so it didn't wake Baekhyun up, though the boy slept like a rock, so Xiumin wondered if it would even cause him to stir at all. As soon as Xiumin's eyes met with the caller ID, however, he quickly answered the phone.

      “Hello?” He asked quietly, but with anticipation in his voice.

      “It's me,” the deep voice of a man answered. “I heard you woke up.”

      “Yeah, I did...Was that all you were calling to confirm?”

      “No. I actually wanted to talk to you about coming to the lab.”

      “Why? Testing?”

      “You might be able to go back.”

      “What?” Xiumin gasped. “Are you sure?”

      “Not entirely. We'll have to wait until you come to find out for sure. The sooner you get here the better.”

      “How soon do you need me?” Xiumin asked, glancing over his shoulder at Baekhyun's sleeping form.

      “Come now. We can get started as soon as you arrive. We could be done by tomorrow afternoon if it all goes well.”

      “Alright...I'll come.”

      “Good.”

 

      The man hung up and Xiumin set Baekhyun's phone down. He carefully crawled out of bed, grabbing some fresh clothes to put on. When he was all dressed he sat on the bed beside Baekhyun, feeling guilty for leaving like this.

      “I'm sorry for leaving so soon,” Xiumin whispered. “I need to do this...I hope you'll understand. If all goes well,” he paused for a moment, scared to say anything more. It wasn't like Baekhyun could even hear him, but he still needed to say this, for his own sake. “If all goes well, I'll try to come back for you, ok?”

 

      Baekhyun grumbled incoherently and nestled into his pillow. Xiumin smiled affectionately, then got off the bed. He needed to go now. The sooner, the better. He crept out of the apartment, locking the door behind him, leaving Baekhyun alone in bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this chapter didn't suck?  There was a lot more new information which probably only made things more confusing, but we'll get more answers very soon!  About several characters~  Have fun making guesses based on things in this chapter!  Why did Xiumin leave?  Why is he so close to Chanyeol?  Who were they talking about before Baekhyun arrived?  What's poor Baekhyun gonna do when he wakes up alone again OTL  You'll have to wait til next time to answer some of those questions though :P


	8. Chapter 8

      Baekhyun groaned as his first alarm went off the following morning. It was a Saturday morning, so Baekhyun hadn't gone too crazy with his alarms, but he didn't like sleeping the entire morning away on the weekends. It seemed like such a waste of time, especially when he could be spending that time with Xiumin instead. He slapped his hand on the off button for his alarm, then sleepily sat up, yawning and stretching as he did so.

 

      As soon as he glanced around the room, he immediately noticed Xiumin was no longer in bed beside him. He had a brief moment of panic, but he tried to tell himself that Xiumin had probably just gotten up earlier and was in his kitchen making breakfast. He grabbed his glasses off his bedside table and slid them on before getting out of bed and wobbly heading towards his kitchen.

 

      To his dismay, Xiumin wasn't in the kitchen either. He wasn't in any part of Baekhyun's small apartment. Fear began to trickle through Baekhyun's veins again. Had he done something wrong again? Why did Xiumin always disappear or pull away whenever he and Baekhyun had sex? It _had_ to be something wrong with Baekhyun, right? Why was Xiumin giving him so many mixed signals? If he hated Baekhyun, he should have just said so.

 

      Baekhyun shook his head, wiping away a few stray tears. He couldn't let himself give up hope so easily. There were still other places Xiumin could be. He might have gotten called into work early in the morning and he'd chosen not to disturb Baekhyun to let him know. Or he might have dashed out to the store to buy some more food because Baekhyun always seemed to be running low. There were other places he could check to see if Xiumin was there.

 

      As quickly as he could, Baekhyun got dressed and ran out of the house, not bothering to eat anything. He got in his car and drove to Xiumin's work. He had to calm himself for a moment to stop his hands from shaking before entering the small cafe. He'd been praying to see Xiumin there, but no matter where he looked, he couldn't spy the boy in his signature apron cleaning tables or making someone's drink. Baekhyun nervously asked if Xiumin had come in to work that day, only to receive a confused 'no' in reply. Xiumin wasn't there.

 

      Baekhyun bolted out of the cafe and got back in his car. As quickly as he could, he drove to the store that he and Xiumin always shopped at. He ran around the entire store, checking every aisle and area for any sign of Xiumin. Again, there was nothing. Xiumin hadn't gone to the store either. Baekhyun held on to the small sliver of hope that perhaps Xiumin had finished shopping before Baekhyun had gotten there and was now on his way home. He left the store, praying that Xiumin would be back in his apartment when Baekhyun got home.

 

      He returned to an empty apartment, however. Xiumin was still nowhere to be found. Baekhyun collapsed to his knees on the ground, finally breaking down crying. Had he really chased Xiumin away after all? Where had he gone? Was he safe? What if he'd gotten hurt? He might have been a robot, but he was capable of being broken just like a human.

 

      Baekhyun sobbed into his hands, feeling completely hopeless, then remembered their recent conversation with Chanyeol. Xiumin had called him Yeol then, and had acted extremely friendly with him, as if they were closer than he and Xiumin were. Had he gone to Chanyeol to escape Baekhyun? If that were the case, Baekhyun wasn't sure what he would do, but he at least needed to know if Xiumin was there. The thought of him being missing was too painful and terrifying for Baekhyun to handle. He shakily pulled out his phone, still sniffing and crying, and dialed Chanyeol's number. As soon as the other line picked up, Baekhyun was rapidly asking questions.

      “Have you seen Xiumin? Please tell me he's with you!” Baekhyun gasped through tears.

      “What? He's not...Baekhyun, what's going on?” Chanyeol asked. “Are you ok? Are you crying?”

      “Xiumin's gone,” Baekhyun cried out. “I can't find him anywhere. I checked his work and everywhere he might be, but he's gone, Chanyeol! He's gone!”

      “He really left without telling you where he was going?” Chanyeol asked, sounding both taken aback and a little angry.

      “He was gone when I woke up and he didn't leave any notes. Chanyeol, we slept together again. What if I made him angry? What if he hates me? What do I do?”

      “Hey, calm down,” Chanyeol soothed. “It's ok, he doesn't hate you.”

      “How do you know? He always pushes me away. What if he's not coming back this time?” Baekhyun sobbed.

      “He doesn't hate you, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol repeated, firmer this time. “He told me he doesn't hate you when we talked, so don't worry, ok? That's not why he left.”

      “Then why!? Where did he go? What if he's hurt?” There was a pause, and Baekhyun almost wondered if Chanyeol had hung up on him, but finally, the other sighed.

      “There's one place he could be that you don't know about, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol explained. “I don't know why Xiumin didn't tell you anything, especially leaving you hanging like this, but there's a lot more to him than you probably realize.”

      “What's that supposed to mean? Where is he, Chanyeol? Is he involved in something dangerous?”

      “No, it's not dangerous. It's...hard to explain. It'll be a lot easier if I just take you there.”

      “You know where he might be?”

      “I have a good guess...Xiumin wouldn't just leave you without having a good reason. I'm gonna need you to keep calm if I take you to where he is though, ok?”

      “I-I can do that I think...” Baekhyun mumbled weakly.

      “Alright. Can you pick me up at my apartment? I don't have a car and it'll take a lot longer if we do this by foot.”

      “Yeah, just give me the address.”

 

      Baekhyun wiped his eyes before getting to his feet and grabbing a notepad to write down what Chanyeol was telling him. As soon as they hung up, Baekhyun rushed back out of the house. He still hadn't had anything to eat that day, but he was far too concerned about Xiumin to waste time eating food. He turned his car on and drove to Chanyeol's apartment. It was somewhat far, but Baekhyun didn't mind. Truthfully, he was surprised Chanyeol lived this far when he didn't even have a car. Then again, he practically lived with Kyungsoo, so that was probably why he didn't need one.

 

      When Baekhyun got there, he didn't bother to get out of the car or turn it off. Instead, he called Chanyeol and the latter came rushing out of his apartment, getting in on the passenger side. They were silent for some time, Chanyeol's instructions of where to turn being the only conversation between them. When they'd finally gotten onto a highway that they would be on for some time, Baekhyun decided to speak up again.

      “Why would Xiumin go all the way out here?” He asked. “Where did he go exactly, Chanyeol? You haven't told me anything.”

      “It's not really my place to tell you,” Chanyeol sighed. “It's a rather personal topic, and Xiumin hadn't told you yet, so I wasn't going to say anything, but this is too much. He shouldn't have left without telling you anything...So now I'm going to show you.”

      “Show me what?” Baekhyun asked exasperatedly. “Where did he go? What's going on?”

      “You'll understand everything as soon as you get there, I promise. For now, get ready to turn off at the next exit.”

 

      Baekhyun sighed, but did as told. It was another 15 minutes of driving before they pulled into an almost empty parking lot in front of a massive white building. Baekhyun couldn't even fathom how Xiumin had gotten here. Had he really walked the entire way or had he gotten someone to drive him? Why was he in a place like this? Baekhyun still didn't understand where they even were. Chanyeol seemed rather sullen and silent about the whole affair, like he really didn't want to be there. It wasn't until they entered the building that Baekhyun began to understand just where they were.

 

      They were in some sort of research facility. It was modeled similarly to a hospital, but there didn't seem to be hardly any patients. Instead, there were scientists in white coats walking around from room to room, checking in on various projects. It seemed to be some sort of robotics laboratory. Was this where Xiumin was created? Had Baekhyun broken him after all?

 

      Chanyeol grabbed Baekhyun's wrist and gently lead him down a series of halls. He still seemed extremely quiet and nervous, which was a strange thing for Baekhyun to see. He'd never seen Chanyeol so serious and withdrawn. Any time they passed a scientists and Chanyeol's eyes met theirs, he bowed his head and nodded meekly at them. Whatever this place was, Chanyeol obviously didn't like to be there. How did he even know about it though?

 

      Finally, they stopped at a door and Chanyeol let go of Baekhyun's hand. Baekhyun glanced at the nameplate on the door, reading _Kim Minseok – Observation Room_. He turned to Chanyeol, giving him a questioning look, but Chanyeol simply pointed at the door.

      “I don't want to go any further than this...But if you go in there, you'll find Xiumin.”

      “You're not coming with me? Am I even allowed to go in there!?”

      “They know I brought you here,” Chanyeol sighed. “The scientists in that room are well aware that you're coming, so don't worry. I just...don't want to meet them anymore than I have to...and I think you should see what's really going on for yourself.”

 

      Baekhyun frowned at him, but when he knew his pout wouldn't work on Chanyeol, he decided to enter the room alone. He hoped Xiumin wouldn't be mad at him, but if he was in a laboratory, Baekhyun needed to know for sure that he was ok. He didn't think he could bear losing Xiumin forever.

 

      He opened the door and closed it quietly behind him. Inside was a small, rectangular room. One of the walls was made almost completely of glass windows, and at the opposite end of the room, there was another door that Baekhyun assumed lead into the medical room that the windows overlooked. Baekhyun walked to the center of the room and stopped when his eyes met with the person in the hospital bed on the other side of the glass. It was Xiumin, but he was covered in bandages and hooked up to machines monitoring far too many things for Baekhyun to keep track of. He looked so weak and unhealthy. How could this be Xiumin? He was a robot. He wouldn't ever look so frail and like he was inches from death. He was made of wires and metal, not flesh and blood, like this person seemed to be as Baekhyun noticed blood leaking through some of the bandages. What on earth was going on?

 

      Baekhyun was about to turn and leave the room to go find Chanyeol again when a scientist walked from the medical room into the observation room. Baekhyun glanced at him nervously, but the man simply walked to his side, still staring through the glass at the Xiumin in the bed. There was an uncomfortable moment of silence before the scientist finally acknowledged Baekhyun's presence.

      “I see you've finally come to meet Kim Minseok.”

      “Kim...Minseok?” Baekhyun asked, still far too confused about what was going on. “I came to find Xiumin...”

      “Ah, yes. Xiumin. You're the one that named the robot that, correct?”

      “Y-Yes.”

      “Allow me to introduce you to Kim Minseok, Xiumin's true self and human counterpart.”

      “Human counterpart? What on earth are you talking about!?”

      “I see Minseok chose not to tell you anything about our project. He always was a bit more confidential than Chanyeol was. Since you've been taking care of Minseok in his robot form for so long, however, I think it's only right that you know the situation.”

      “Is that person in the bed Xiumin?” Baekhyun asked.

      “He is and he isn't,” the scientist sighed. “Kim Minseok is part of an ongoing medical research project. If he's a success, it could change the future of healthcare.”

      “How? By turning humans into robots?”

      “Only temporarily. You see, Minseok was involved in a terrible car crash several months ago. The hospital deemed him and his friends beyond help, and they were sent over to our facility to be put through our own developing treatment.”

      “What kind of treatment involves making a robot of him? If the boy in the bed is Kim Minseok, then what is Xiumin?”

      “The project is rather taxing on the human body,” the scientist explained, seemingly ignoring Baekhyun's confusion. “Minseok has been the only success thus far. We couldn't save any of his friends. He's made leaps and strides of improvement from when he was brought in. He may look terrible now, but believe me, he's looked much worse.”

      “So how does Xiumin come into all of this? If you're treating Minseok's wounds, why did you need to make a robot of him?”

      “We don't know when Minseok will wake up, or if he'll wake up. The robot has become a vessel of sorts for him.”

      “A vessel?”

      “Yes. Specifically, for his soul.”

      “What on earth are you talking about? I thought you were scientists. What's with the soul talk?”

      “Soul, consciousness, call it what you want. We've found a way to bond it successfully to the robots. So right now, the robot you're taking care of, Xiumin, is inhabited by the soul of Kim Minseok. So in essence, you've been taking care of Minseok while his body was here, unconscious and slowly healing. It's given Minseok the opportunity to continue living his life without laying unconscious in a bed for months to years of treatment, and it's also enabled us to use our advanced healing methods on his body without fear of losing Minseok in the process. As long as his body holds on, we can return his soul to it later.”

      “This sounds impossible...”

      “But it's the truth. Seeing Kim Minseok here now, don't you think that's proof enough? If you still don't believe me, ask Chanyeol about his connection to Xiumin.”

      “Why did Xiumin come here then?” Baekhyun asked, making a mental note to ask Chanyeol about all of this later. “He's here, isn't he?”

      “Yes, he is. I called him here last night. It was rather urgent, so I'm sorry you weren't informed. It had seemed like Kim Minseok was going to be able to wake up, so we wanted to call his soul back so that he could continue to recover in a conscious state in his own body. Unfortunately, our presumptions were wrong, and Minseok's body is still too weak. So for now, Minseok will continue living in the robot form that you know as Xiumin.”

      “Will he stay here...?”

      “If he wants to,” the scientist shrugged. “The only reason we asked Chanyeol to find someone to take care of him in the beginning was because his soul hadn't completely bonded with the robot yet. We didn't want anything terrible to befall him before he really got the chance to wake up. In that regard, I thank you for taking such good care of him.”

      “Can you return him to me?” Baekhyun asked, sounding far more desperate than he would have liked. “Please! I'll look after him and keep him safe until you're ready for him, but please don't take him away from me!”

      “I have no problems with it, however if Minseok decides he doesn't want to stay with you upon his return to your apartment, you will let him leave.”

      “Of course...I wouldn't force him to stay, I just...I need him.”

      “Very well. We'll have him returned to your house tomorrow. For now, I must be getting back to work.”

      “Thank you for your time,” Baekhyun mumbled awkwardly.

 

      The scientist nodded and began walking to the door leading into the medical room. He paused before opening the door and turned to face Baekhyun one more time.

      “He can never fully recover without his soul. Remember that, Byun Baekhyun.”

 

      Chills ran down Baekhyun's back, the man's voice sounding almost threatening. Baekhyun wouldn't hoard something like that to himself. Ever. He liked Xiumin too much to do something so cruel to him. Now that he knew what was going on, he felt so much more confused though. Xiumin really was an actual human, with a heart just like anyone else. What did this make them then? If Xiumin was human, he had feelings and emotions just like Baekhyun, didn't he? So how did Xiumin really feel about all of this? About Baekhyun? He was almost too afraid to find out.

 

      Baekhyun quickly left the room and was grateful that Chanyeol was still standing outside waiting for him. He grabbed Chanyeol's wrist tightly, and that was enough for the latter to know that he wanted to leave immediately. They quickly left the building, and when they were back in Baekhyun's car, they were completely silent. Chanyeol finally suggested they get something to eat, and Baekhyun really couldn't protest. It was after noon already and Baekhyun was starting to feel lightheaded from running around all morning without eating anything.

 

      They drove in silence to a restaurant. Baekhyun still didn't even know what to say. It wasn't until they had their food in front of him and he'd taken a few bites that he finally asked Chanyeol about what he'd just witnessed.

      “You knew about Kim Minseok?” Baekhyun asked softly. Chanyeol nodded. “How?”

      “That guy told you Minseok was in a car crash, right?” Chanyeol asked, voice sounding strained. “I was in that crash as well.”

      “But that guy said that they couldn't save anyone from that crash. So how are you...?”

      “None of the other humans survived the crash, that's right. There were 4 of us. 2 people died on the way to the hospital, including the guy that Minseok had a really huge crush on.”

      “He liked someone...?”

      “Yeah, but he knows he's dead now. It was what he and I talked about last time.”

      “That's still so sad,” Baekhyun mumbled. He hated how jealous he felt in light of such a horrible situation. “What about the other 2? Were they you and Xiumin?”

      “Yeah. We both made it to the laboratory, and they quickly worked on bonding our souls to robotic endoskeletons. They later modeled their outer appearances after us once the transfer was complete.”

      “Then...where's your body? Are you in a different room?”

      “My body died,” Chanyeol whispered.

      “What!?”

      “My soul is still here in the robot, but they couldn't save my human body. I'm stuck like this. Minseok still has a chance though.”

      “So you're a robot too!?”

      “I am...Does that bother you?”

      “No. After everything with Xiumin, it wouldn't make sense if I accepted him and not you...But why did you bring Xiumin to me? That story you told about your parents is obviously a lie, right?”

      “Yeah...The labs wanted me to find someone who could take care of Minseok.”

      “That guy mentioned that...but why? Couldn't you have taken care of him?”

      “They didn't think I would be a good influence on his awakening.”

      “Awakening?”

      “When our souls were attached to the robots, we weren't immediately conscious in them yet. You remember how robotic Xiumin sounded when I first gave him to you? I was like that too at one point. It takes a really big emotional trigger to wake the soul up and bring out the real person.”

      “So how did you wake up then? If Xiumin needed someone else to help him, then how did you do it alone?”

      “The emotional trigger can be any kind of emotion. Shock, sadness, anger, happiness. For me, it was probably mostly shock and sadness. I was in the observation room looking at my body when it flatlined. I saw myself die, Baekhyun...That's how I woke up.”

      “Oh my God...Chanyeol, I'm so sorry.”

      “It's not like you killed me,” Chanyeol shrugged. “I'm grateful I was able to continue living, even if I'm like this. I think Minseok is a lot more confused and upset than I am, but I know he'd still prefer this over being dead. Anyway, the scientists didn't want a repeat of my wake up, and they feared Xiumin being with me might trigger his memories and give him a rough wake up like I had. So they wanted me to find someone good to care for him. I'd asked Kyungsoo about it and you seemed like a good person. I'm sorry I lied for you, but I was doing it for Minseok's sake. You gave him a happy awakening though.”

      “Are you sure?”

      “Yeah. He woke up after you two had sex the first time. He was a little confused, especially with his feelings before and after the crash, but you've always been good to him, and he does care for you. I can't believe he didn't tell you he was leaving.”

      “The scientist said he called Xiumin there immediately, so he was probably too preoccupied to let me know...”

      “It still wasn't cool of him to do that to you,” Chanyeol huffed. “I'm going to let him have it when he comes back.” Baekhyun smiled weakly.

      “Do you think he's tired of me? I mean, I've been pretty focused on myself when I was with him. What if he thinks I'm totally selfish? I asked to have him sent back to my house too! What if he hates me for making decisions for him?”

      “He won't. He's going through a lot right now and Minseok always had some trouble with expressing himself and his emotions, so you're going to have to be patient and gentle with him, but I mean it when I say he cares about you, Baekhyun.”

      “If you say so,” Baekhyun mumbled. There was a brief pause before he finally sighed.

      “There's one last thing I need to ask you, Chanyeol, and I don't think you're going to like it.”

      “What?”

      “Have you told Kyungsoo about any of this?”

      “I haven't...I'm so scared to tell him, Baekhyun. What if he breaks up with me? I'm still human, even if I'm like this...but what if he doesn't believe me? What if he finds me disgusting?”

      “I don't know, Chanyeol...It's been really shocking for me to find out, but I still like Xiumin all the same...If anything, I like him more knowing the truth. Kyungsoo might not take it well at first, but he loves you a lot. I've never seen him so happy with someone before. I don't think he would just throw all that away...Especially when it's the truth. I don't think it's right to hide something this important from him, especially if you plan to get serious with him.”

      “You're right...So you really believe in me and Minseok?”

      “How could I not?” Baekhyun asked. I've seen Minseok's human body...I don't know about the whole soul thing, but Xiumin definitely has changed since when I first met him...He's so human right now. I _want_ to believe he's human.”

      “You're a really good person, Baekhyun. I'm glad I brought Minseok to you...and I'm glad you like him so much.”

      “It's not weird? Having me so hung up on your friend?”

      “I think you'll be great for him. I want him to see that too.”

 

      Baekhyun flushed and nodded. He'd never had a particularly deep conversation with Chanyeol, but after everything he'd just experienced, he felt surprisingly close to him now. Close enough to discuss romance and insecurities even. He could only hope that Kyungsoo and Minseok accepted them without too much pain or strife.

 

      They finished their meal, not talking much after the heavy discussion they'd just had. Baekhyun drove Chanyeol home after that, and finally returned to his small apartment. It was so uncomfortable being alone in it after all this time. Baekhyun wondered if what Chanyeol said about Xiumin not hating him was true. Somehow, Baekhyun felt like everything would change between them now that Baekhyun knew the truth. Would Xiumin hate him for finding out? Would he leave because Baekhyun pried too far into his personal life? Would he hate Baekhyun for forcing him to come back? No matter how Baekhyun thought about it, he couldn't help but feel he'd done something he shouldn't have.

 

      At the same time, he found himself feeling strangely relieved. All this time, he'd been trying to tell himself that it was alright to be falling in love with a robot, but now everything was different. Xiumin was human. It wasn't impossible for Baekhyun to fall in love with him after all. Would Xiumin ever fall in love with him though? That was what truly felt hopeless to Baekhyun. Knowing that Xiumin was human now, Baekhyun almost felt more hopeless than before. After all, what guy in their right mind would fall in love with him? It was completely hopeless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaand we had the big reveal chapter :D  Now we know the truth about both Xiumin and Chanyeol~  Poor Baekhyun is an emotional mess though OTL  And we'll see how Xiumin feels about everything soon too. Dun dun dunnnnnn~  Honestly, for how important this chapter was, I don't have a lot to say about it.  Hopefully it answered a lot of questions XP  There are still more answers coming so anticipate that~


	9. Chapter 9

      Baekhyun struggled to sleep that night alone in his apartment. It was strange how quickly he'd gotten used to another presence in his life. It didn't help that he was dreading talking to Xiumin again. Or was he supposed to call him Minseok? Baekhyun couldn't even begin to know how to handle this situation. All this time he'd really thought Xiumin was just a robot, but he'd actually been a person. Had Baekhyun been taking advantage of Minseok the whole time?

 

      After all, Minseok did most of his chores these days, cooked most of his meals, did anything Baekhyun asked him to really. He'd slept with him twice now. What if Minseok was only putting up with all of that because he was still pretending to be Xiumin? What if Baekhyun had taken advantage of him several times and Minseok hated him now? Had Minseok ever liked him? Baekhyun had only ever thought Xiumin had liked him. Throwing Minseok into all of this made everything so much more complicated. How did he _really_ feel about Baekhyun?

 

      The doorbell rang in the early morning, and Baekhyun had been tossing and turning without sleeping for a while, so he sighed and put his glasses on before answering the door. Sure enough, it was a deliveryman with a massive box. Baekhyun signed the form again and the man left him alone to shove the massive box into his apartment. As soon as he had it in his bedroom, he opened the box rapidly, not wanting Xiumin to be subjected to that kind of transportation or packaging.

 

      Xiumin was curled into a ball inside the box, and Baekhyun couldn't help the small smile and sigh of relief that left his lips. He bent down and slowly lifted Xiumin up, out of the box. He wasn't particularly strong and Xiumin was pretty heavy, so it took a lot of struggling for him to finally get him out of the box and lay him onto the bed. Baekhyun was grateful the scientists had at least left Xiumin's clothes on this time.

 

      Baekhyun wasn't sure when Xiumin would wake up, so he decided to sit beside him on the bed and work on his homework. From time to time, he would pause and brush his fingers through Xiumin's hair, staring a little longer than he probably should have at the boy's face. He was just so happy to have Xiumin back. He was far too attached for his own good. That was probably what scared him the most about learning about Minseok. The person Baekhyun had probably fallen for was Minseok, not Xiumin, but now it felt like there was some rift in between him and the other boy. All Baekhyun could keep wondering was if he really knew Minseok at all. He was scared what would become of their relationship if they talked about it, but they had to. Baekhyun needed to know where Minseok stood and how he felt.

 

      It was later in the afternoon when Xiumin finally began to stir. Baekhyun stopped what he was doing and watched nervously as Xiumin's eyes slowly opened. The boy stared straight ahead for a moment,then slowly let his eyes pan around the room, taking in his setting. He lifted a hand and clenched it into a fist a couple times before sighing. Baekhyun's heart sank. Was he already angry for being back at his apartment? Xiumin sat up after that and finally met Baekhyun's gaze, looking somewhat irritated, but Baekhyun could tell he was trying to remain stone-faced.

      “Welcome back,” Baekhyun mumbled. “I, um...” What was he supposed to say? Where should he start? “Are you feeling ok?” He finally settled on.

      “As fine as a fucking robot can feel,” Xiumin hissed, causing Baekhyun to flinch slightly.

 

      What was Baekhyun supposed to say to that kind of response? It was obvious that Xiumin was in a foul mood. Should he apologize? Should he ask about Minseok? Should he just keep his mouth shut and take whatever verbal beating Xiumin has in store for him?

      “Do you...want to talk about it?” Baekhyun asked cautiously.

      “No,” Xiumin sighed, looking away. “You know everything now, right? The scientists said you stopped by the lab...”

      “I do...” Baekhyun whispered. “But I'm still really confused...”

      “There's nothing for you to be confused about,” Xiumin muttered.

      “Yes, there is,” Baekhyun argued. “I never knew who you really were. I'm scared I hurt you without realizing it...I don't even know what I should call you...Should I call you Minseok now? That's who you really are, isn't it?”

 

      At that question, Xiumin shot off the bed, glaring daggers at Baekhyun. The latter had never seen Xiumin look this angry, except perhaps when that guy had attacked Baekhyun. Did he really hate Baekhyun after all?

      “Don't call me that!” Xiumin snapped. “I'm hardly Minseok right now! Just some disgusting robotic knock-off! You don't even know a thing about me, so don't act like you're my best friend suddenly!”

      “I-I'm sorry...I was just asking,” Baekhyun uttered pathetically.

      “I'm Xiumin,” the other grumbled, looking both hurt and angry. “I'm a simpleminded robot that does your household chores and whatever else you need me to do. Don't act like you suddenly know everything about me. You only know Xiumin...so when I'm here, I'm Xiumin and nothing more...”

      “I want you to be yourself,” Baekhyun whispered. He couldn't really understand where Xiumin, or Minseok, or whoever, was going with this.

      “I don't feel like myself at all! I feel like some object or cheap replication that's just being tossed around at people's will! I wanted to go back to how I used to be, but I'm still like this...I'm still here...”

      “You didn't want to come back here, did you?” Baekhyun choked out. “I'm sorry...”

      “It doesn't matter,” Xiumin sighed. “I'm here, so let's just go back to the way things were. I'm Xiumin the robot and you can treat me however you wish.”

 

      Baekhyun opened his mouth to protest, but one more sharp glare from Xiumin shut him up on the spot. Xiumin turned and headed for the door, slipping his shoes on. Baekhyun didn't bother to ask him where he was going or if he was leaving for good. He probably _was_ leaving, and Baekhyun had promised he wouldn't hold him back if that were the case. Xiumin was obviously angry at him, so this was probably for the best.

 

      As soon as Baekhyun was alone in the apartment again, he broke down crying. He hated himself for how often he cried, but he couldn't help it. He hadn't expected things to go well with Xiumin, but that had been way worse than anticipated. Baekhyun was still so confused and now he was certain Xiumin, or was it Minseok, hated him. He didn't even know anymore. Why did everything have to fall apart like this? Baekhyun had no clue how to make it better either. Had he really made Xiumin this angry and he was just holding it in all this time? If anything, Baekhyun was more confused than he had been before.

 

      To his surprise, Xiumin came home much later that evening. Baekhyun's eyes were red and puffy from crying, but neither of them said a word about it. In fact, they didn't really say anything to each other. Baekhyun made a quick dinner for Xiumin, which he was half expecting the latter not to eat, then spent the rest of his evening in his bedroom, doing homework that he'd failed to do earlier because he'd been so upset. Xiumin came into the room some time later and quietly thanked him for the food. Baekhyun nodded lifelessly in response, afraid to look up from his laptop. They were back to not talking to each other again. Why did it always end up here?

 

      Xiumin sat in the corner where he used to sit all the time to recharge. He'd been sleeping in Baekhyun's bed up to this point, so it was a little sad to feel the distance growing between them. Distance would do Baekhyun some good though. If Xiumin hated him, then Baekhyun had to let go. He couldn't ruin Xiumin's life further by clinging to him.

 

      As Baekhyun settled into his bed for the night, not ready to go back to school the following day, he discreetly rolled over to take one last glance at Xiumin. He hadn't gone into recharge mode yet, but he was holding his face in his hands. Looking at Xiumin, Baekhyun could have sworn he was crying. When he saw a teardrop glide down Xiumin's cheek a second later, Baekhyun clamped his eyes shut and rolled the other way. He couldn't bear to see Xiumin sad. What could he do to make things better? What had he even done to make it this bad?

 

~*~

      The following day, everything was back to routine, with the unpleasant addition of silence. Baekhyun and Xiumin didn't say much other than the necessary words of communication like yes or no. It was a late night at school for Baekhyun, which meant Xiumin would usually pick him up, but this morning, Baekhyun asked him not to do so. Xiumin looked worried, which made Baekhyun feel both relieved and guilty at the same time, but he had already made plans for that evening. He needed to see Chanyeol and ask him for his advice.

      “I won't be alone. I'm meeting Chanyeol and driving him home. He lives really far away, so I wanted to help him out a little.”

      “Chanyeol...” Xiumin repeated quietly.

      “I learned about him too,” Baekhyun explained softly. “Kyungsoo doesn't know though, so he and I can't really talk about anything until later. I'll get home just fine, so don't worry about picking me up. Just do whatever you feel like doing after work.”

 

      Baekhyun didn't really wait for a response before heading out the door and leaving Xiumin to get ready for work. School provided a decent distraction for much of the day and Baekhyun somehow managed to hide how upset he was from Kyungsoo when they met for lunch. He couldn't even begin to explain to Kyungsoo what was going on without throwing Chanyeol under the bus. Everything had become so complicated. It was exhausting.

 

      It was strange having Chanyeol meet Baekhyun that night instead of Xiumin. It felt wrong, like he was going behind both Xiumin's and Kyungsoo's backs, not necessarily romantically, but definitely secretively. He needed to talk to Chanyeol about Xiumin though. He wasn't going to get any answers from Xiumin himself, so he needed someone else to give him his reality check and help him figure out how to fix whatever had gone wrong.

 

      They drove in silence all the way to Chanyeol's apartment, and the latter invited Baekhyun inside as soon as they'd arrived. It was a very barren, small place, and Baekhyun figured Chanyeol probably didn't spend hardly any time there with how undecorated it was. Baekhyun certainly wouldn't have liked to spend a lot of time alone there. Chanyeol got them both something to drink, and they sat at his table across from each other.

      “So...I'm guessing things didn't go too well with Xiumin?” Chanyeol started. “You wouldn't be so down and asking me to walk you to your car instead if it had gone well...”

      “He hates me, Chanyeol...”

      “Why do you say that?”

      “He was so angry to be back at my house. I didn't realize he hated me so much...I never should have asked for him to come back.”

      “Why would he hate you though? He was perfectly fine with you before. You're probably just reading too far into the situation, Baekhyun.” The latter shook his head.

      “He yelled at me...All I did was ask if I should call him Minseok. He said he was hardly himself and told me I knew nothing about him...that I just knew the robot knock-off, Xiumin...He said it with such disdain, Chanyeol! He hates me...He hates how I treated him. Why wouldn't he? I took advantage of him.”

      “You didn't take advantage of him, Baekhyun. He agreed to everything you two ever did and said between each other. You treated him better than any of the scientists ever had. They're the ones that treat us as a project or inanimate object...Ever since the beginning, you've been treating Minseok as more than that, and he _knows_ it. This was just him throwing a tantrum.”

      “He's still mad at me though...We hardly talk to each other. Maybe it would be best if I told him to leave...He left that night, but he came back for some reason. Maybe he still feels tied down because of me...I never wanted to make him so unhappy, Chanyeol. I just wanted to be with him again...”

      “Baekhyun, it's ok. I don't think Xiumin hates you. I think he's doing a terrible job of having any semblance of control over his emotions right now. I'm not justifying what he's said and done to you, because I'm still really angry at him myself, but try and think about it from his perspective.”

      “He had some manipulative whore demanding attention from him at all times,” Baekhyun muttered.

      “That's not true and that's not what I meant!” Chanyeol snapped. “Xiumin went to the lab hoping that he'd be able to go back to being a human again, Baekhyun...But it wasn't time yet. His human body is still too weak. How do you think he must feel right now? Lost and confused, don't you think?”

      “Yeah...But then why did he get so angry when I asked him if he wanted me to call him Minseok? I just wanted to treat him like the person he really was...”

      “Minseok has always had a bit of a temper, unfortunately,” Chanyeol sighed. “He tends to take his frustration out on other people and regret it later. He's not coping with being a robot as well as I am. I mean, I don't have any other choice, but to him, this is all temporary. It's not as great as being human, Baekhyun. Trust me on that one. They still haven't developed our senses enough for us to feel human. Sometimes it just feels like we're drifting through life and not really living it ourselves. We can't taste food, we can't feel how soft or hard things are. Our emotions hardly impact our metal bodies, so feeling happiness or sadness sometimes feels fake. No one would want to live like that. Minseok thought he was going to go back, but then he didn't. I have a feeling his tantrum was more related to that than it was to you.”

      “So you think that's what he meant when he said he didn't feel like himself?”

      “Mhm. And I think he took his disappointment out on you, and that's why he was so disdainful about the whole Xiumin verses Minseok issue. Because when he's in that body as Xiumin, he probably doesn't feel very much like his old self at all, or anything really. He probably also doesn't feel like you could see him as anything more than a robot, when you clearly see him as a lot more than that. I'm not saying you should just forgive everything he said to you, but one thing you could do to help would be to have patience with him and just try to treat him whatever way he wants to be treated. You like him, Baekhyun, so you're going to treat him well no matter what.”

      “You don't think he wants to leave me? You don't think I should push him out?”

      “Where else would he go, Baekhyun?”

      “I don't want to be the 'only option' for him. I want him to _want_ to be with me...and right now it feels like he wants anything but that.”

      “Let him cool off a bit and see if he comes crawling back to you for forgiveness. Minseok had a lot of pride on top of his bad temper. He's actually changed a lot since he's been with you, which I think is pretty awesome, but he still has his moments where he's a giant piss baby, and unfortunately, you and I are gonna have to deal with it. I swear he's a good guy...he's just been through a lot.”

      “I can only imagine what you two feel like,” Baekhyun sighed. “You both survived a crash, but lost your friends, and now you're both like this and you can hardly tell anyone...”

      “But we can tell you and trust you. That's more than I could ever ask for. You're a great person and an amazing friend, Baekhyun. One of the only ones I can rely on. Xiumin knows this too, and he'd be an idiot to push you away. Give him time. He'll come around.”

      “If you say so,” Baekhyun grumbled.

      “I'm planning to see him at his work tomorrow. I'll give him a piece of my mind. That sound good?”

      “Just please don't make him hate me even more...”

      “Of course not! Gosh, Baekhyun, you have no faith in me! I've always been able to bring Minseok around~ He needs a good shouting too with how awful he's been to you. It's gonna be ok.”

 

      Baekhyun grimaced, not entirely believing Chanyeol when it came to Xiumin not hating him, but he nodded nonetheless. Chanyeol fiddled with his thumbs, then sighed before speaking up again.

      “I wanted to let you know that I'm going to tell Kyungsoo about me soon...I don't know what will happen, but you're right. He deserves to know about me...”

      “It'll be fine. He loves you,” Baekhyun soothed, and he could tell Chanyeol believed his words about as much as Baekhyun had believed his. Everything seemed so grim suddenly.

 

      They talked for a little while longer, then Baekhyun finally left and drove home. He was surprised to come home to a saran wrapped meal and Xiumin sitting nervously at the table. He awkwardly invited Baekhyun over to the food then excused himself, seeming almost flustered. Perhaps Chanyeol was right after all and Xiumin would come around in time. Baekhyun still felt like he was at fault in all of this and that he needed to do something. This was why he'd always avoided falling in love. It was too emotionally draining, and Baekhyun always felt like a royal fuck up no matter what he did, even if he wasn't necessarily at fault. He shouldn't have fallen so hard for Xiumin. He was in too deep to pull away and not take things personally.

 

~*~

      Xiumin's cold exterior seemed to be be dying down as the hours went on. He seemed more hesitant now, and Baekhyun wondered if he wanted to apologize or if he was planning to leave him after all. He was still afraid to talk to him about anything related to the labs, so he found silence easier. Baekhyun left early again the next morning, leaving Xiumin to get himself to work rather than catch a ride with him.

 

      It was about halfway through work when Xiumin received a not-so-unexpected visit from Chanyeol. It was right around when Xiumin's lunch break was, so the two sat at their usual table in the corner. It was easy to see Chanyeol was about ready to burst, so Xiumin knew he was in for a nasty lecture. He knew he deserved it.

      “What the hell is wrong with you?” Chanyeol growled. He was getting straight to the point apparently. “Why the hell are you being such a gigantic asshole to Baekhyun!? What did he ever do to deserve that kind of treatment?”

      “I don't know...” Xiumin mumbled, looking down at the table.

      “You don't know because there wasn't anything that he did to deserve that kind of treatment!” Chanyeol huffed. “He's been nothing but kind to you and you leave him without a word! Do you even know how worried and scared he was!? Then when he tries to talk to you about any of this you tear into him. You know he gets hurt easily, Min...So why are you being so cruel to him?”

      “I didn't mean to,” Xiumin finally whispered. “I don't know how to apologize, Yeol...He probably hates me now.”

      “You and Baekhyun are like broken records of each other,” Chanyeol sighed. “Baekhyun thinks you hate him and want nothing to do with him now. You could start by saying you're sorry and that you don't hate him. Then you could explain to him, and _me_ for that matter, why you got so angry at him when all he did was ask what you'd like to be called. He was being conscientious of your situation, Min...”

      “I know. I just...I feel so weird in this body. It feels like I can't properly connect with anyone. Baekhyun and I can have sex but I won't feel a damn thing, and it's frustrating. He could snuggle against me at night and I won't feel any of his warmth. I feel like a fucking shell of myself in this body...And coming back to Baekhyun's house only to keep feeling so incomplete...I know yelling at him was wrong, but it's agonizing, Chanyeol. I wasn't planning to leave him forever. I wanted to come back as a human and get to know him properly...Not through whatever weird relationship he has with me as a robot...”

      “You've just got to be patient, Min. You'll be able to go back someday.”

      “What if I can't?”

      “Then you'll be just like me and you'll learn to cope with it. They're trying to find ways for me to feel and experience things, Minseok. It's not a scientific breakthrough they're gonna discover overnight, but they've already run some tests on me and have a few working projects going.”

      “What about the way people treat us? Have you told Kyungsoo you're a robot and he's just totally fine with it?”

      “No...I haven't,” Chanyeol sighed. “I'm planning to soon though, after talking to Baekhyun about it. Regardless of how Kyungsoo and I end up though, it won't be the same for you. Baekhyun knows the truth about you and he accepts you all the same. He believes you're a person, even in a metal body like this. That's so much more of a blessing than you realize. He _accepts_ you, Minseok. Human body or metal body. Don't throw that away because of your bad temper and pride.”

      “I know he accepts me,” Xiumin sighed. “But our relationship is so convoluted. I can't tell whether he just sees me as a friend with benefits or something else. I'm so scared to ask him because I...I don't want to be just an easy fuck to him...”

      “You know you're way more than that to him. He treasures you, Minseok, which is why he's still blaming himself for your tantrum even though he did nothing wrong. Let me ask you this though...What do you want to be to him?”

      “I don't know...” Xiumin whispered. “I'm starting to feel some of the things I used to feel with _him_ , Chanyeol. But then I remember I'm like this, and suddenly I can't see Baekhyun ever wanting anything to do with me.”

      “You're starting to like him,” Chanyeol said softly. Xiumin said nothing, but nodded slightly.

      “I might be...”

      “Then go home, get on your knees, and apologize for being an inconsiderate asshole to him. Then you can either ask him about his feelings, or if that's too daunting for you, you can start treating him like how you should have been treating him this entire time. Show him you like him, Minseok. You may find yourself pleasantly surprised.”

      “Or highly disappointed...”

      “Maybe, but you two need to communicate with each other and make up somehow. You both care a lot about each other, regardless of the nature of your relationship, so don't let things get so sour between you. You have the chance to have a good relationship _and_ go back to your human body. That's more than I'll ever have. You've got a good thing, Minseok. Don't squander it away.”

 

      Xiumin stared forward, letting Chanyeol's words sink in. It still felt impossible for him to have any kind of intimate relationship with Baekhyun, but Chanyeol was right. Baekhyun was a wonderful presence in Xiumin's life, and it was about time he started to treat him better. He was always so hot or cold with Baekhyun, it was no wonder Baekhyun was so confused. Xiumin knew he'd made him cry more than once in the past few days as well. He was the worst. It was a wonder how Baekhyun still liked him at all. He really had a lot to apologize for.

      “I'll talk to him tonight,” Xiumin said softly. Chanyeol nodded, a wide smile on his face.

      “Good. I really want you two to work out. I think you're both really good for each other.”

      “How? All I do is make him cry.”

      “You've got a few bad instances on your track record, yeah, but Baekhyun is like a completely different person now. You make him happy, Min...and I think he makes you happy too.”

      “Yeah...I think he does,” Xiumin agreed.

 

      Chanyeol smiled and finished drinking what he'd ordered. He had to get to a class, so he left Xiumin alone with his thoughts for the rest of his lunch break. All Xiumin could think about was Baekhyun. How could he apologize and make it up to him? Was he really brave enough to take Chanyeol's advice and try to have a relationship with him? He didn't think so, but perhaps he could start small. He knew one thing for sure at least. He wanted to make Baekhyun smile, to make up for all the emotional turmoil he put him through. He'd start with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *coughs* So, Xiumin got upset ;; But he feels bad about it at least?  We're entering into the emo pining chapters, oh boy OTL  Hang in there guys XD  Our boys still have to go through hell (because I'm a terrible author lol!).  This is just the beginning.  But Xiumin admitted that he's falling for Baekhyun, so hey~  Now what's gonna happen?  I know but I'm not gonna tell you til several chapters later lol!
> 
> I did so much writing during my days off, my brain is kinda fried.  I wrote like 13k words between this story and another story...in like 3 days XP  I hope you guys will continue to like this story.  We're also getting into the chapters that I found really hard to write and I'm not sure how they'll be received, so I'm hoping you all end up liking them instead of hating them OTL


	10. Chapter 10

      Xiumin was hesitant when he approached the door to Baekhyun's apartment. He knew what he needed to do, but he was nervous. He'd hurt Baekhyun a lot, and he didn't know if he'd find the boy angry or in tears, or which he preferred of the two. What if Baekhyun threw him out instantly? Xiumin knew he was succumbing to his own fears. Baekhyun had always been more patient with him than he deserved. There had to be a breaking point though. Xiumin had to fix things before it became too late.

 

      He took a deep breath and went inside, shutting the door quietly in hopes that if he kept a low profile, Baekhyun would be less irritable with him. The apartment was rather dark since the sun was setting and Baekhyun hadn't bothered to get up and turn on all the lights, but that was a common occurrence with him. Xiumin was the one that usually turned the lights on around the house so they weren't in complete darkness.

 

      He walked slowly through the apartment, turning on a couple lamps here and there so he could see where he was stepping. Finally, he made it to Baekhyun's bedroom. The door was cracked, so Xiumin carefully peered inside. Baekhyun was slaving away on his laptop, stopping only to read his textbook. That was another thing Xiumin had learned about Baekhyun. He was pretty serious about school, but he became even more so when there was something he was trying to avoid thinking about. Homework became a distraction for him rather than a chore. Xiumin let out a quiet sigh, feeling bad that he was the reason Baekhyun was acting this way. He jumped when Baekhyun looked up at him at the sound of the exhale.

      “You're home,” Baekhyun mumbled. “I didn't hear you come in...”

      “Yeah, I just came home,” Xiumin answered awkwardly. “Is it ok if I talk to you or are you busy now...?”

      “Now is fine,” Baekhyun muttered.

 

      He saved his work and quickly gathered the papers strewn about his bed and closed his textbook. Xiumin walked over and helped him tidy up. Baekhyun paused when their hands briefly met as Xiumin handed him a few papers. The latter sighed and sat down on the bed beside him, tucking his knees to his chest.

      “I'm sorry,” he whispered. “I was awful to you earlier and you didn't deserve it...I should have told you what was going on...I'm sorry for being inconsiderate.”

      “You've got a lot going on right now,” Baekhyun said softly.

      “That doesn't justify anything. It doesn't give me the right to shout at you and take my anger out on you...I didn't even tell you where I was going or if I was coming back...I'm sorry...”

      “I forgive you,” Baekhyun sighed.

      “Why? Shouldn't you yell at me more? Be angrier with me?” Xiumin asked.

      “Would that help anything? Change anything? What's done is done,” Baekhyun grumbled. “I just want to know what you want me to do. I want to treat you well and make you feel more at ease, but what can I do to make that happen? You keep giving me mixed signals! I don't want to yell at you or fight you. I want you to _talk_ to me.”

      “Then let's talk,” Xiumin offered, biting his lip nervously. “I don't really know where to start, so just...tell me anything that's on your mind. I'll try to answer your questions.”

      “Do you hate me?” Baekhyun asked, catching Xiumin completely off-guard.

      “What!? No! Of course I don't hate you!”

      “Then why do you keep leaving without a word?” Baekhyun asked shakily, and Xiumin had a feeling he was holding back tears. “That hurts more than you yelling or taking your frustration out on me, Xiumin...”

      “I'm so sorry...I was going to come back to you, please believe me...”

      “I do,” Baekhyun said with less enthusiasm than Xiumin would have liked.

      “They called me after you went to sleep, and I didn't want to wake you...I should have left a note, but I really thought I would be...” He trailed off. “I wanted to come back to you as a human and explain everything to you then...But that didn't happen...I don't know if I'll ever go back.”

      “You will,” Baekhyun said, sounding much more confident with this answer. “I'm sure you will.”

      “How can you be so sure? What if my body dies instead of getting better!? What if I'm stuck like this forever? I hate this, Baekhyun. I want to go back...”

 

      Baekhyun sighed and scooted closer to Xiumin. Slowly, he put his arm around Xiumin's shoulders, afraid that the other would pull away and get angry. Instead, Xiumin let himself be pulled closer and leaned his head on Baekhyun's shoulder.

      “I know you want to go back,” Baekhyun whispered. “I can only imagine how much you've been going through and keeping to yourself. You will get back to your own body, Xiumin. I know you will. You're strong.”

      “I don't feel strong...I feel like a coward that resorts to anger any time something doesn't go my way...”

      “But you always come around in the end and apologize. You'll get through this, Xiumin...But you don't have to do it alone. You've got Chanyeol and you've got me. I'm here for you. If you need someone to talk to, or someone to vent to, or even someone to cry to, I'm here. Don't push me away anymore, please...”

 

      Xiumin felt his eyes watering, and he was sure if he were in a human body, his chest would be hurting as well. Baekhyun was too good for him. Xiumin had been so cruel to him and all Baekhyun was doing was giving him more and more support. How could he be so forgiving and kind? Xiumin didn't deserve this.

      “Why are you so nice to me?”

      “Hmmm,” Baekhyun hummed. “Must be because I'm too nice for my own good. Someone needs to be there for you though.”

 

      The tears dripped out of Xiumin's eyes and he nestled his face into Baekhyun's shoulder, crying freely. He'd been trying to get through this without anyone's help or pity, but he couldn't do it. He needed Baekhyun's support and care so badly. Why had he been so insistent on pushing him away before? Baekhyun was the only one that knew the truth, and he still didn't hate Xiumin knowing everything. Instead, he was telling him the words he'd never realized he needed to hear so badly.

 

      Baekhyun snaked his other arm around Xiumin's back and pulled him closer. They rocked from side to side, the motion soothing Xiumin, but not enough to stop him from crying. Baekhyun didn't insist that he stop either. He just let Xiumin cry and get out any and all negative emotions that he'd cooped up. Xiumin had wrapped his arms around Baekhyun in an attempt to calm himself. He wished he could feel how soft and warm Baekhyun probably was. Xiumin wanted to be human again so badly.

      “I hate this...I can't feel anything. I feel so weird all the time...I miss eating food. I miss smelling coffee when I prepare it...I miss being myself. I don't even know if I really remember who I used to be...The crash changed everything.”

      “I think you're still yourself, even if everything feels weird now. You can still feel happiness and sadness, right? That's a blessing. And you're still here now. That's a blessing too.”

      “My memory is so hazy from the time before the crash, so maybe a part of me did die in the crash...I just remember pain and screeching tires...”

      “Was it scary?”

      “I think the only other time I've been that scared was when you were in trouble,” Xiumin said quietly, feeling himself flush slightly. Baekhyun hugged him tighter.

      “We're both safe, and we're both here. You don't have to be scared anymore, and you don't have to be alone.” Xiumin nodded silently. “Let's start over from here on, ok? Let's both try to treat each other better and be mindful of whatever is going on in our lives. I don't want to be left out anymore, Xiumin. Is that ok?”

      “Yeah, I think I would like that...I want to treat you better too.”

 

      Baekhyun rubbed Xiumin's back then pulled away, sighing as he saw all the tears littering the boy's cheeks. He wiped them away gently, then got off the bed, motioning for Xiumin to follow him.

      “I'm hungry, so I'm going to make some popcorn. What do you say we cuddle and watch a movie?”

      “What about your homework?”

      “I got a lot done today and it's not due for another week. So movie yes or movie no?”

      “Movie yes,” Xiumin answered timidly.

      “Go ahead and pick it out while I get the food, alright?”

 

      Xiumin nodded and headed over to where Baekhyun's movie collection was. He picked out a comedy that he knew Baekhyun loved, then got Baekhyun's laptop set up to play it. Baekhyun came in the room a few minutes later with a giant bowl of popcorn and some soda that he kept in his fridge for when he got a craving for something carbonated.

 

      He sat down on the bed beside Xiumin, handing him one of the soda cans and setting the popcorn in between them. After that, Xiumin started the movie. It didn't take long after the popcorn bowl was empty for Baekhyun to move it in favor of snuggling closer to Xiumin. Baekhyun always seemed to like to press himself against Xiumin. Initially, it had thrown him off and made him nervous, but now, Xiumin found himself leaning his head on top of Baekhyun's, relishing the fact that they were already curled up with each other watching a movie after the fit he'd thrown earlier. Baekhyun really was too kind to him, even if it was just out of pity for his situation. Xiumin would do better for him. Maybe Chanyeol was right as well. Maybe this could become something. Xiumin was still too scared to get his hopes up, but when Baekhyun snuggled him like this, he couldn't help but feel that small tingle of hope inside his chest.

 

~*~

      Movie night cuddles became an almost nightly occurrence. Any time Baekhyun didn't have a ton of homework, they would curl up on his bed and watch one of his movies. Afterwards, they would discuss their thoughts on the film, which usually led into several other conversations that were completely unrelated. Sometimes they would talk late into the night, against Baekhyun's better judgment, and fall asleep still snuggled together mid-sentence.

 

      They never really talked about some of the rougher moments in Baekhyun's life, but Xiumin learned a lot about his interests and what he liked to do. Baekhyun had once been a pretty big gamer, and he was pretty competitive as well. The first time he'd showed Xiumin his old game, he'd talked big about winning. That was another thing Xiumin had learned about Baekhyun. He liked to talk big, then got pretty quiet and awkward when he was defeated with ease. He blamed it on being rusty, and Xiumin gave him the benefit of the doubt. He wouldn't be able to do any better after all.

 

      Soon, movie nights also sometimes became game nights. They didn't have multiple laptops to play the game together, so they would take turns passing the game to each other. Whenever someone failed, the other would get a chance to play and try to succeed at the mission. Xiumin had never been much of a gamer in his life, but he had a lot of fun playing with Baekhyun, especially when he actually managed to win a level and Baekhyun was excited for him but didn't want to goad him on too much, so he blamed it on luck.

 

      In general, Xiumin found himself enjoying the time with Baekhyun more than he remembered ever enjoying someone's company before. Baekhyun's smile and laugh were contagious, and they were music to Xiumin's ears. Whenever he witnessed them, he felt this weird, fluttering feeling in his chest. For the first time since he'd been in this metal body, Xiumin felt alive.

 

      During one of their late night talks after the movie, Baekhyun was laying beside Xiumin, gently running his fingers through his hair and talking quietly. Xiumin loved listening to Baekhyun speak softly. He was normally a rather loud person, so these calmer moments were a treat. He wished he could have felt the soothing feeling of Baekhyun's fingers brushing through his hair though.

      “What were you doing when the crash happened?” Baekhyun asked quietly. “If you don't mind me asking...I want to know about what happened.”

      “It's alright,” Xiumin sighed, snuggling closer. “Chanyeol and I were in the car with two of our other friends. We were sitting on the side opposite of where the other car hit us, so that's probably why we survived...sort of...”

      “Do you remember where you were going?”

      “I don't know. We used to go out a lot. We'd play pool or go to the gym together. The four of us were inseparable.”

      “Do you miss your friends?”

      “Yeah, a lot...” Xiumin whispered. “It's still hard telling myself that they're really gone and not coming back.”

      “What were their names?”

      “Luhan and Jongdae...Luhan had moved here from China. He and I used to play soccer together a lot. And the four of us would usually mess around in the basketball court too. We played a lot of sports together now that I think about it. We roughhoused with each other more than anything.”

      “I really suck at sports,” Baekhyun said, laughing awkwardly. “Are you bored?”

      “No. I think sports lose their meaning when I'm like this. I can't feel the adrenaline rush at all. Movies and quiet nights are nicer.”

      “When you get better, I promise I'll play with you, even if I suck.”

      “I'll suck too, don't worry,” Xiumin sighed. “My body's gonna be weak if I ever get back to it.”

      “Um, there was something I wanted to ask you about...Chanyeol mentioned something, but I'm a little scared to ask...”

      “What about? I won't get mad, it's ok...”

      “He said you liked one of the guys in the crash...Like you like-liked him,” Baekhyun emphasized. Xiumin couldn't help but smile at the phrasing.

      “I did, yeah. It was Jongdae.”

      “Are you ok? Are you hurting?”

      “It was hard to accept it at first. I was really hung up on him...But it was all one-sided. I knew he didn't feel that way about me, but he still let me cling to him. I'm sure he saw straight through me.”

      “I dunno. Sometimes you are a little hard to read,” Baekhyun said with a smile. “You're really ok? If you're hurting, you can tell me.”

      “I'm ok,” Xiumin whispered, closing his eyes as Baekhyun rested his hand on his cheek. How he wished he could feel what Baekhyun's touch was like. “I've moved on I think. It's really not hard with everything going on...Maybe it's because I'm like this now. I feel so out of touch with everything...I hardly feel human.”

      “You're human,” Baekhyun stated firmly. “You've always been, and you always will be.”

 

      Xiumin smiled gratefully at him. Ever since they'd started talking a bit more about feelings and Xiumin's state, Baekhyun had been much more vigilant about saying those words to him on a regular basis. Sometimes, it felt a little forced to Xiumin, but he appreciated it all the same. Xiumin didn't feel human, but having someone believe that he used to be human was nice.

 

      Baekhyun leaned closer, pausing inches from Xiumin's face, staring into his eyes with an unreadable expression. After a moment, he leaned the rest of the way forward, connecting their lips. Xiumin closed his eyes after a moment of shock, letting Baekhyun take the lead. As he suspected, this action led to Baekhyun being on top of him, stripping his clothes and kissing down his neck and chest.

 

      Sex had become a fairly frequent activity as well. Baekhyun seemed to be taking Xiumin's experience into consideration more than he had before, and Xiumin suspected that was probably because he felt bad for the past few times they'd slept together. Xiumin wished Baekhyun didn't feel the need to force himself so much. It wasn't like Xiumin could feel anything even if he did try to make the experience more mutually pleasing. If he hadn't run away after having sex with Baekhyun so often, maybe Baekhyun wouldn't be pushing himself to display so much physical affection. He didn't want Baekhyun to do something he wasn't comfortable with just to make him happy.

 

      Still, having sex with Baekhyun did have some sort of satisfaction for Xiumin. He liked seeing Baekhyun underneath him, moaning and flushed. He liked seeing the boy completely spent beside him, sleeping contentedly and unconsciously snuggling closer. While he knew Baekhyun didn't like the action and was only doing it to bring something more for Xiumin, he really liked when they would kiss as well. That fluttery feeling would return in his chest, and he wished he could taste Baekhyun on his lips. Much of Xiumin's life seemed to revolve around wishing for things that he couldn't have. Including Baekhyun.

 

      Xiumin still felt so disconnected from humanity and everything that was real. It felt like he was trying to jump over some impossibly high hurdle whenever he thought about his feelings for Baekhyun, but he couldn't deny it to himself anymore. He was in love with Baekhyun. That was why he'd moved on so easily. He was completely focused on someone else now. He felt so worthless beside Baekhyun though. He knew the other boy had never treated him as anything less than human, especially since he'd found out Xiumin was actually human at one point. But Xiumin couldn't bring himself to look beyond what was his current reality. He was a robot that could hardly feel or experience the joys in life. How could someone ever love a person like that? Xiumin hardly felt like a person. 'Object' seemed to be more fitting. He'd been so cruel to Baekhyun as well. Baekhyun didn't seem to hold any hard feelings, but Xiumin couldn't see how he'd actually like someone that had done nothing but hurt him and give him mixed messages until this point. As much as Xiumin liked Baekhyun, the possibility of a relationship felt so hopeless. All he could do was look after him in the ways a robot was good at.

 

      That night as Xiumin entered his charging mode, Baekhyun feigned sleep. When he knew for certain that Xiumin was unconscious, he opened his eyes and stared at the boy beside him. He'd kissed him on the lips, something he'd never done before during sex. He could still feel his heart pounding from the excitement and anxiety. Somehow even kissing Xiumin felt easier to tackle than saying the words 'I love you' to him. Baekhyun wanted to make Xiumin _feel_ loved, even if he wasn't ready to say those words to him yet. He wasn't sure Xiumin was ready to hear them yet either. They'd finally gotten to where their relationship was working, and he was afraid to send it back into turmoil by saying something unnecessary.

 

      Baekhyun leaned forward, pressing his lips against Xiumin's a few more times. It felt invigorating kissing him, and Baekhyun found he had trouble stopping. He loved Xiumin so much. That was probably why he forgave him with ease and clung to him so desperately. He was still worried Xiumin was only tolerating that sort of behavior, but he wanted to believe that it made Xiumin feel a little better as well. Baekhyun wanted to believe that he was more than just a nuisance or someone to put up with to Xiumin, despite how hard it was to fight the demons inside his head telling him otherwise. He had to at least mean something to Xiumin, right?

      “I love you,” Baekhyun whispered against the boy's lips. “Sleep well.”

 

~*~

      Time seemed to fly once Baekhyun's and Xiumin's lives fell into a routine. Xiumin still picked up Baekhyun from school every day, but as of late, he'd added bringing him a drink from the cafe into the mix. It was a nice change, a sweet gesture that never failed to make Baekhyun smile. That was Xiumin's favorite part about Baekhyun, that wide smile that he swore practically glowed. He sometimes wanted to make the joke that they wouldn't need a flashlight at night, but even he had limits to how far he would stoop with the bad jokes.

 

      It was the afternoon right when Xiumin's shift was ending and he was getting ready to head to the school to pick Baekhyun up, when Chanyeol showed up at the cafe, looking nervous and like he needed to talk. Xiumin had borrowed Chanyeol's phone to send Baekhyun a text that he'd be late. He didn't want Baekhyun panicking and leaving on his own or getting into trouble, even though it was still light out. After what had happened before, Xiumin was extremely protective over him.

 

      He and Chanyeol sat at their usual table in the corner of the cafe. Chanyeol was silent for some time, most likely trying to think of the right words he wanted to say. Xiumin was silent, waiting patiently for him to start. Chanyeol didn't usually get this way, but when he did, it was always something serious, so Xiumin knew well to give him the time he needed to speak.

      “I'm going to tell Kyungsoo tonight,” Chanyeol said softly. “About me...”

      “Oh,” Xiumin responded, suddenly at a loss of words. “Are you scared?”

      “More than when we got into the crash...I love him so much, Min. What if he leaves me because of this?”

      “Then he wasn't right for you and he didn't really love you...But I understand why you're so scared. You're really brave, Chanyeol. I don't think I have the guts to tell Baekhyun how I feel in case I lose him.”

      “How you feel?”

      “I like him, Yeol...I think I like him more than Jongdae. But I'm still so confused about what we are to each other, and what I am...Can a human really love a machine?”

      “I don't know,” Chanyeol mumbled. “I guess that's what you and I both need to find out...I'm glad you finally admitted that you like Baekhyun though. I don't think you need to worry so much.”

      “I don't think you need to worry either. Kyungsoo loves you a lot.”

      “It's different. I lied to him, Minseok. What if he can't forgive me? What if he can't see beyond the machine?”

      “I don't know,” Xiumin whispered. He was still worried about that with Baekhyun, and the latter had constantly insisted that Xiumin was human. “Why is it so hard to trust someone else?”

      “You put your heart on the line,” Chanyeol sighed. “It's scary. You lay yourself out to be hurt or loved...”

      “Do you think we'll be ok?”

      “I don't know,” Chanyeol whispered. “I really don't know...”

      “This is who you are, Chanyeol. I'm serious when I say that if Kyungsoo doesn't accept this, he's not right for you.”

      “But I love him...That's the problem.”

 

      Xiumin didn't know what to say. He completely understood where Chanyeol was coming from. To face rejection from Baekhyun would be agonizing. Even if someone told him that Baekhyun wasn't the one for him and that there was someone else out there, it wouldn't make him feel any better. He wanted Baekhyun, and he was certain that Chanyeol wanted Kyungsoo just as badly. There was really nothing he could say to make the situation seem less scary.

      “Just do your best and be honest with him. You've always been good at that,” he finally said, wanting to be encouraging in the end.

      “Thanks Min...Good luck with Baekhyun too.”

      “Yeah...”

 

      Chanyeol left, looking even more somber than he had when he arrived. Xiumin felt bad for being so useless when his friend was going through so much, but he didn't even know how to help himself, let alone Chanyeol. He bought Baekhyun's drink then headed to school to meet him. Baekhyun was bubbly and beaming as always. It seemed like with each passing day, Baekhyun got just a bit brighter, and Xiumin fell just a bit harder for him, and the wall keeping him from confessing got just a bit taller.

 

~*~

      Chanyeol let out a shaky breath, walking beside Kyungsoo silently. He'd invited Kyungsoo out to the park for an evening stroll. It had sounded romantic in his head, watching the sunset and cuddling together on a bench. He'd also figured Kyungsoo would be fooled into thinking it was a date rather than a strange, uncomfortable meeting. He'd succeeded for the most part. Kyungsoo didn't seem to have any idea that Chanyeol had something critical to tell him. It was only the usual anxiety that Kyungsoo picked up on.

      “What's wrong?” Kyungsoo asked, lacing his fingers in Chanyeol's. “You won't stop fidgeting...”

      “Sorry, nervous habit...”

      “I know. Talk to me. What's wrong?”

 

      They were sitting together on the bench still, not having moved even though the sun had set. Chanyeol stared up at the night sky, trying to think of the right words to say to start what could possibly be the end of the best relationship he'd had. He dreaded this with every fiber of his being, but he knew he'd regret it more if he kept lying to Kyungsoo. He needed to tell him this, but how?

      “Can I ask you something?” Chanyeol started.

      “Of course. You can always ask me anything. Why are you still so nervous?”

      “Do you believe in souls?”

      “What? That's an odd question to ask...Why are you so hung up on that kind of question?”

      “Just tell me, please,” Chanyeol practically begged.

 

      Kyungsoo looked at him worriedly, trying to figure out what could possibly have his boyfriend so upset, but he couldn't even begin to imagine with the kinds of questions Chanyeol was suddenly asking.

      “I guess I believe in them. I mean, isn't it kinda the same as each person having their own, distinct personality?”

      “I guess so...”

      “Why are you asking me this? What's wrong, Chanyeol? You're worrying me...”

      “I'm not human, Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol whispered. “Not anymore...”

      “What on earth are you talking about? What kind of weird movie did you watch that left you dreaming up this kind of stuff?”

      “I'm serious, Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol stated. A few tears rolled down his cheeks and Kyungsoo froze, staring at Chanyeol in pure horror.

      “W-What do you mean? How can you be anything other than human? I don't understand, Chanyeol...”

      “I'm a robot...just like Xiumin.”

 

      There was a long pause. Kyungsoo looked like he'd just been kicked in the gut and all the air had been knocked out of him. His mouth was moving, trying to form words and take in much needed oxygen, but nothing was actually coming out or going in. Finally, he let out a shaky breath and looked up at Chanyeol with equally teary eyes.

      “You're lying. That can't be true.”

      “It's the truth, Kyungsoo! There's a reason for all of this! I'm a robot, but I used to be flesh and blood, just like you...” Kyungsoo shook his head.

      “No, this can't be true...”

      “Kyungsoo, please...Just listen to me. I was in a car crash. My body died, but they transferred me to this body. I'm human just like you, but I'm also a robot...”

      “How is that even possible? That's the kind of shit you hear in sci-fi movies. I swear if this is a prank, Chanyeol...”

      “God, it's not!” Chanyeol shouted, pulling his hand away from Kyungsoo's. “What will it take to convince you!? If I cut myself open will that make you believe me!?”

 

      Chanyeol pulled a small utility blade out of his pocket. He hadn't wanted to resort to this, but he needed to _show_ Kyungsoo since he wouldn't believe his words. He held the knife to the skin of his wrist and began digging into it with the blade.

      “Chanyeol, don't!”

 

      Chanyeol ignored him, making a cut in the skin just large enough for Kyungsoo to be able to see the complex wiring underneath. He held his arm out to Kyungsoo, and the latter stared with his mouth gaping open, tears now running down his cheeks as well.

      “You're not lying,” Kyungsoo whispered.

      “I wouldn't lie to you about something like this...My body is made of metal, but I'm human. I know I'm asking a lot, but please don't leave me! I'll do anything, Kyungsoo! The scientists are working on making my body more human-like! They'll even be able to reconstruct my appearance too so I can age with you. Please believe me, Kyungsoo! Even if I'm like this, I'm still real. What I feel for you is real...”

      “How can it be real if you're a robot?”

      “I'm not _just_ a robot,” Chanyeol cried. “You said you believed in souls, so why can't you believe in me!?”

      “I don't know!” Kyungsoo shouted. “I don't know how to believe you, Chanyeol...This is...This is too much...”

      “Kyungsoo?”

      “I need to go...I can't process all of this right now.”

      “Kyungsoo!”

      “Don't! I want to be alone, Chanyeol...”

 

      Kyungsoo got up from the bench and quickly walked away. There were no sweet goodbyes, kisses, or hugs. There was no acknowledgment about whether they were still a couple, but with how Kyungsoo had reacted, Chanyeol didn't think he needed any. They were over. It was impossible for Kyungsoo to love him after all. Chanyeol hugged his legs to his chest and rested his forehead on his knees. He was glad the park was empty. No one heard the heartbroken cries echoing through the park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now begins the "if you two would just talk to each other!!!" part of the story, so brace yourselves lol!  And that Chansoo ;;  Brace yourselves for them too.  We're starting to get into the angsty chapters dun dun duuuuunnn!!!


	11. Chapter 11

      Baekhyun had been winding down for the night, paying half attention to a stupid sitcom on the TV and snuggling against Xiumin like always when someone knocked desperately at his door. Baekhyun sat up quickly, staring at the door in fear, then looked at Xiumin for further input. He hadn't been expecting anyone at his apartment, especially at this hour. He'd noticed that Xiumin seemed tense, dazedly rubbing Baekhyun's back as if to comfort himself more than Baekhyun. Was Xiumin expecting someone?

      “Let me get it,” Xiumin said quietly.

 

      Xiumin got off the bed and went to the door. Baekhyun followed behind, clinging to Xiumin's shirt as he opened the door. They dropped both of their guards as soon as they came face to face with a sobbing Chanyeol. He looked absolutely terrible.

      “Can I come in?” He asked shakily.

      “Of course!” Baekhyun gasped.

 

      Xiumin opened the door wider and Baekhyun reached for Chanyeol's hand and gently guided him inside. Soon, they were all seated around Baekhyun's small table. Baekhyun was rubbing Chanyeol's back while Xiumin placed a tissue box in front of him and sat on his other side. Despite being a robot, they were still fully capable of crying.

      “Chanyeol, what happened?” Baekhyun asked softly. “Are you ok? Are you hurt?” Chanyeol let out something between a laugh and a sob at the question.

      “I almost wish I were...Then I would at least be human again.”

      “Chanyeol,” Xiumin mumbled. He paused for a moment, trying to pick his words wisely. “Did you tell Kyungsoo about yourself?” Baekhyun's eyes widened at the question. Chanyeol nodded.

      “He hates me, Min,” Chanyeol cried, holding his head in his hands. “He probably never wants to see me again!”

      “What did he say?” Baekhyun asked. He sounded almost angry in the midst of all his worry, which surprised Xiumin.

      “He said he couldn't believe me, so I showed him proof that I was made of metal...And then he said my love couldn't be real because I'm a robot. I love him so much...How can I prove to him that it's real? What if he really never wants to see me again?”

 

      Chanyeol broke down crying, harder than he had been before, and Baekhyun sighed. He began to rub Chanyeol's back again, and even Xiumin placed his hand on his shoulder. He couldn't even begin to know what to say to Chanyeol. He would have thought it would go better. He and Kyungsoo seemed so attached to each other. He'd been secretly hoping it would go well so that he could convince himself that confessing to Baekhyun could go well. Now he just felt lost and completely useless to his friend when he needed him the most.

      “This isn't like Kyungsoo, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun stated, his tone still quiet and comforting.

      “Doesn't that just mean I messed things up even worse?”

      “No...It means Kyungsoo's confused. He rarely stumbles, but he's still human. He might just need some time to think about all of this.”

      “He didn't say he needed time to think. He said he wanted to be alone...He probably thinks I betrayed him and was just playing with him all this time.”

      “Chanyeol, Kyungsoo and I have dealt with numerous people who did just that to us. He never acted this way. This is the first time I've seen Kyungsoo run away from something like this. He's confused...So was I when you first brought Xiumin to me, remember? I know it hurts and he treated you terribly, especially given your situation and how much you care for him...But you can't give up hope yet, ok?”

      “It's so easy to say, but you didn't see how upset he got...How can I keep hope when I'll always be like this? I don't get to go back to a human body! This is my life now! I hate it...”

 

      Xiumin looked away, feeling guilty for constantly talking about going back to his real body. He'd been tactless and had ignored any inkling of the pain Chanyeol might have been feeling about the subject. Now it was all coming out, and there was nothing any of them could do to give Chanyeol a way to be human again. It was unfair and cruel.

      “You're still you,” Baekhyun whispered. “And you're still alive. This is who you are now, and that's ok. There's nothing wrong with you. Kyungsoo just needs time to see that for himself.”

 

      Chanyeol cried harder, which Xiumin didn't think was possible. Baekhyun stood up and wrapped his arms around Chanyeol's head and shoulders, hugging him close. Minseok kept his hand on Chanyeol's back, wanting to at least comfort him in some way along with Baekhyun. When Chanyeol had finally calmed down a bit from his crying fit, Baekhyun let out a deep sigh.

      “I'm going to go talk to Kyungsoo.”

      “What!?” Chanyeol gasped. “Don't! What if it makes him hate me more!?”

      “Chanyeol, I can guarantee Kyungsoo doesn't hate you. Just like you needed someone to talk to, he does to. He'll listen to me, Chanyeol...I'll calm him down. Then you two can have a proper discussion about this, alright? For now, stay here with Xiumin. He'll look after you.”

 

      Baekhyun met Xiumin's eyes, looking at him pleadingly. Xiumin nodded and got to his feet, gently pulling on one of Chanyeol's arms so that he would do the same. Baekhyun let go and watched as Xiumin led Chanyeol from the kitchen to the bedroom. When he came back, he started pulling various things out of Baekhyun's cupboard and fridge, primarily chocolate ice cream and some hot cocoa mix. He smiled sadly at Baekhyun.

      “He might not be able to fully enjoy it without taste buds, but he'll appreciate the gesture. Chanyeol always loved sweet things.”

      “You're a good friend,” Baekhyun said softly.

      “I'm not...But I want to try to be.”

      “I'm going to head out.”

      “You're really heading out now?” Xiumin asked, looking at him worriedly. “It's really late, Baekhyun...”

      “I'll be fine. I'm just going to Kyungsoo's apartment. It's a short drive from here.”

      “Alright...You'll be back later?”

      “Yeah.”

      “Then I'll stay up and wait for you. I have a feeling it's going to take a while for Chanyeol to calm down anyway...”

      “Alright. Just don't push yourself.”

      “I won't. Stay safe.”

      “I will.”

 

      Baekhyun walked from his kitchen to his door, grabbing his wallet and phone on the way. He slipped into his shoes then glanced back at Xiumin, trying to give him a reassuring smile. As soon as Baekhyun was out the door, Xiumin headed back into the bedroom, where Chanyeol had sat in the corner with his knees hugged to his chest. Xiumin sat down next to him with a sigh and held up the ice cream and two spoons.

      “Dig in. There's hot cocoa too. Baekhyun has quite the sweet tooth so he keeps this stuff around.”

      “What's the point? We can't even taste it?” Chanyeol grumbled. Xiumin simply shrugged and pulled off the ice cream lid.

      “You're still putting junk food into your system, so there's some satisfaction in that. Besides, you need to replenish some of your energy after all that crying.”

 

      Chanyeol looked from Xiumin to the two spoons in his hand, then finally sighed and grabbed one. They both dug their spoons into the ice cream and stuffed their mouths. Fresh tears ran down Chanyeol's cheeks as he swallowed his bite. He scooped out another large bite and somehow managed to get it in his mouth. At least his ice cream eating habits hadn't changed.

      “I miss how this used to feel,” Chanyeol muttered around the spoon. “It used to hurt when I swallowed too much at once and I'd get a brain freeze.”

      “I'm sure you'll be able to feel that again someday,” Xiumin soothed. “They're trying to help you feel more human-like, aren't they?”

      “Yeah...But who knows when and if the labs will ever make a breakthrough.”

      “All we can do is wait, Yeol. I'll be here with you through the whole thing, ok?”

 

      There was a small silence, and Chanyeol stared ahead, looking deep in thought. Xiumin took a bite of the ice cream, wanting something to distract him from the extremely tense atmosphere. He'd never seen Chanyeol this broken up before. He must have really loved Kyungsoo.

      “Maybe you were right, Min,” Chanyeol sighed. “Maybe we can't be loved. Maybe humans just can't love machines, even if they were once human.”

      “Yeol...”

      “We can't even prove we're real anymore. It was stupid to believe that they would treat us as if we were.”

      “Don't say this, Yeol. We can't give up...”

      “It's funny hearing you of all people say that now. You don't believe what you're saying either.”

      “I want to believe,” Xiumin whispered. “I want to believe for both of our sakes.”

      “Have you talked to Baekhyun yet?”

      “No...I'm still too scared. Do you regret telling Kyungsoo?”

      “Yes...and no. I guess now all I can do is move on.”

      “It'll all work out somehow, Yeol.”

      “Maybe...”

 

      They sat in silence, taking bites of the ice cream here and there. Minseok only got up when the ice cream started to melt. After that, he sat beside Chanyeol, letting the latter lean on his shoulder. They didn't say much else, but it took some time before Chanyeol finally entered his charging mode. It was only then that Xiumin started letting his mind wander.

 

      Chanyeol had been hurt so badly by this. Baekhyun had been so supportive and truthfully a better friend than Xiumin had been to Chanyeol. Would he still act that way if Xiumin were to tell him he loved him though? He probably wouldn't be angry like Kyungsoo had been, but would he actually love Xiumin that way? Xiumin still couldn't tell if he was only a friend with benefits or if there was something more, and talking about it to Baekhyun just felt like it was going to lead into a situation he couldn't return from. Perhaps it would be better to just remain this way and never face the painful rejection like Chanyeol had.

 

      Xiumin felt like an object this way though. He knew Baekhyun was kind and cared about him, but Xiumin still couldn't help but feel like an object to him. Perhaps a glorified pet. He resented having this metal body, and he resented the fact that Chanyeol was stuck this way forever even more. They were alive, but was it really worth it to live this way? Were they even 'living?' Xiumin honestly wasn't sure anymore.

 

~*~

      Baekhyun knocked on Kyungsoo's door and was surprised when the other opened it only a few seconds later. Kyungsoo looked instantly disappointed when he spotted Baekhyun, and the latter figured he was probably secretly hoping it was Chanyeol at the door instead. Baekhyun smiled sadly.

      “You had to know I would come, right? Can we talk?”

 

      Kyungsoo nodded slowly and opened the door, letting him in. Baekhyun walked in, slipping his shoes off at the entrance since Kyungsoo was a bit of a neat freak and never liked people walking on his carpet in shoes. He walked straight to Kyungsoo's couch in the living room and sat down, patting the spot beside him. Kyungsoo sighed and plopped down lifelessly beside Baekhyun. Looking at Kyungsoo now, Baekhyun noticed that his eyes were red and puffy. He'd probably been crying the entire time, just like Chanyeol.

      “Did you hear from Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo asked, his voice somewhat horse. He must have been crying a _lot._ Baekhyun nodded.

      “He came over to my house in a sobbing wreck. We calmed him down and Xiumin's looking after him now.”

      “Thank you...for looking after him.”

      “He's been looking out for me and Xiumin a lot lately. It was the least we could do.”

      “Did you know?” Kyungsoo asked next, looking at him with slightly narrowed eyes. “Did you know he was just like Xiumin?”

      “Yes,” Baekhyun admitted, looking somewhat guilty. “Xiumin disappeared and I called Chanyeol to ask if he'd seen him since they seemed close...That was when he told me everything about them...”

      “And you didn't think I should know that my boyfriend was a fucking robot!? Were you just playing me along as well?”

      “You know it's not like that! I didn't tell you because it wasn't my place to say. It was Chanyeol's...and we can both see how well you handled that,” Baekhyun snapped back. Kyungsoo looked down in shame and Baekhyun heard him bite back a sob.

      “Did you feel this miserable when you were first falling in love with Xiumin? Did you wonder if it was all a lie and just your imagination?”

      “At first, yes...I did. But it's not like that. Learning the truth about them made me feel a lot better about everything.”

      “The truth,” Kyungsoo scoffed. “How can you believe them so easily? It sounded like the plot for some young adult sci-fi movie.”

      “Minseok,” Baekhyun stated. Kyungsoo looked at him in confusion, and Baekhyun smiled. “That's Xiumin's real name. Kim Minseok. He's currently lying in a hospital bed in a coma, recovering from a huge car crash, and his soul is here, living in Xiumin.”

      “How do you know that's really the case though?”

      “I saw his real body with my own eyes, Kyungsoo. And the soul thing still feels like a stretch, but when I look at Xiumin and interact with him, I know it's the truth. No robot could ever be that complex. He's a real person, Kyungsoo. And so is Chanyeol. They've both suffered so much. They need all the love and acceptance we can give them.”

      “Why didn't you ever tell me about Xiumin, or Minseok, or whoever he is? I thought we told each other everything, especially when it came to love...”

      “If I'd told you about Minseok, I was scared that you would find out about Chanyeol as well. He was terrified to tell you, Kyungsoo...He really thinks you hate him now.”

      “How could I ever hate him? I don't know if I _should_ hate him for keeping this from me, but I just...can't. I really love him, Baekhyun. No matter how hurt I am or how much I try to think about whether it's real or fake, my feelings just aren't going away. How can I be in love with a robot?”

      “You told me that it was totally fine to love a robot,” Baekhyun teased. “But it is really hard to wrap your mind around...And Chanyeol is a different case from Xiumin. He's going to be like this for the rest of his life.”

      “So his human body really died?” Kyungsoo asked. “I'm trying to let this all sink in...I really am.”

      “Yes,” Baekhyun sighed. “There were 4 people in the car crash. 2 of them died in the crash. Chanyeol and Minseok made it to the research facility conducting this project, but Chanyeol's body died a little while after they'd transferred his soul. Minseok is the only one still holding on to life. But Chanyeol is still here, Kyungsoo. He's still living in his own way, and he loves you so much. Can you really pass that up?”

      “I don't think I can...But how am I supposed to act now? Doesn't this change things between us?”

      “I don't think so,” Baekhyun shrugged. “I stopped worrying about the nature of Xiumin's body a long time ago. It's true that some things are different, like eating food or experiencing pleasure...but they still feel and love and hurt. They still like to be held. And they still get insecure.”

      “I wish I could accept this as easily as you...”

      “It wasn't easy, but I've had more time than you,” Baekhyun soothed. “Just think of the alternative. If Chanyeol weren't in the robot body, he'd be dead, Kyungsoo. You never would have met him, and he wouldn't have met you. That's much sadder in my opinion.”

      “I was so terrible to him...Will he even forgive me?”

      “I know he will if you two actually talk to each other. We're looking after him for now, so take your time. Gather your thoughts and talk to him when you're ready and you've made a decision about your relationship. I know you'll get through this. You're one of the strongest people I know.” Kyungsoo laughed quietly and rolled his eyes.

      “You think too highly of me...Thank you, Baekhyun.”

      “Of course. I'm exhausted and I'm sure you are too, plus Xiumin's waiting for me to come home, so I'm going to go for now, ok?”

      “Yeah...Baekhyun, later on I want to hear everything you've been hiding from me about Xiumin, understood?”

      “Deal. Don't make Chanyeol wait too long, ok?”

      “I won't...”

 

      Baekhyun got up from the couch, patting Kyungsoo on the shoulder. He whispered a quiet goodbye, then quickly left. That had gone a lot better than he thought it would. Feelings were so complicated, and Baekhyun didn't even know how to begin dealing with his own. It was so easy to talk about someone else's feelings, but the instant his own were the focus, he was completely paralyzed. It wasn't a matter of believing in Xiumin's existence or not. It was a matter of believing Xiumin could ever love someone like Baekhyun. He doubted himself more than Xiumin.

 

      When Baekhyun got home, it was already after midnight. He groaned and rubbed his eyes, heading straight to his room. As soon as he got inside, Xiumin got to his feet, making sure Chanyeol was leaned against the wall so he didn't fall over. He rushed over to Baekhyun and grabbed his hand.

      “How did it go?” He asked anxiously.

      “Pretty well. He was confused...but I think he really does love Chanyeol.”

      “So you think they'll be ok?”

      “I don't know. It's up to them...but I think they can do it.”

 

      Xiumin nodded slowly. Baekhyun let out a tired sigh and leaned forward, resting his forehead on Xiumin's shoulder.

      “I'm so tired,” he whispered.

      “We should go to bed,” Xiumin muttered.

      “Yeah...You need to rest as well.”

      “It's been a hell of a night.”

      “It has...I just want things to get better soon.”

      “Me too...Me too.”

 

      Baekhyun pulled away and walked over to his dresser, changing into some comfortable clothes. After that, he quickly brushed his teeth and slipped into his bed tiredly. Xiumin timidly laid down beside him, and Baekhyun instantly snuggled up to him. It didn't take much more time for Baekhyun to completely pass out, his arms still wrapped tightly around Xiumin's waist.

 

      Xiumin stared at the ceiling, unable to stop thinking about everything that had happened. Chanyeol had seemed so heartbroken and hopeless, but Baekhyun seemed to think there was a chance for them to work out. Did that mean there was hope for his feelings with Baekhyun as well? Could Baekhyun feel the same acceptance he feels for Kyungsoo and Chanyeol's relationship for one with Xiumin? Did he even like Xiumin that way? It was so hard for Xiumin to read Baekhyun. After how many times he'd made Baekhyun cry, he doubted it though.

 

      He rubbed his eyes with his hands and groaned. Thinking this much wouldn't do him any good. For now, he just needed to focus on Chanyeol. It was about time he started focusing on someone other than himself. He would confront Baekhyun some other day if he ever felt ready. All he could do now was rest and hope that the next day would be a better one.

 

~*~

      Baekhyun made the executive decision to let Chanyeol stay at his house for the next few days. He didn't want him to be alone when he was still so upset, and he knew Xiumin was a comforting presence for Chanyeol to have around since they were going through very similar experiences. Baekhyun didn't want to push Kyungsoo into action either, but he hated seeing Chanyeol so broken up, even after he'd told him he'd had a good conversation with Kyungsoo. The only thing that was going to set Chanyeol at ease was talking to Kyungsoo and hopefully sorting everything out.

 

      Thankfully, he didn't have to wait too long. Chanyeol had avoided classes the rest of the week, since he didn't want to run into Kyungsoo at all. After Kyungsoo's last class on Friday, however, he'd called Chanyeol. The action had caused Chanyeol to drop his phone in a panic, but he managed to pick it up before the last ring.

      “Hello?” He asked nervously.

      “Hey...” Kyungsoo greeted quietly. “Um...How have you been?”

      “I'm...not really sure how to answer that.”

      “Yeah, of course not,” Kyungsoo mumbled awkwardly. “I wanted to talk to you about everything...I didn't listen to you last time and I'm really sorry. I know it hurt you. I want to hear it all from you this time, Chanyeol.”

      “Ok...”

      “Can you meet me in the park we went to last time? That seems like a good meeting place. It's evening now as well, so it shouldn't be too crowded. I think we could have a private discussion there.”

      “Alright...I'll head over there.”

      “I'll see you soon.”

      “Yeah...”

 

      Chanyeol hung up the phone and turned to stare at Baekhyun and Xiumin in horror. They'd been hovering nearby, nervously trying to listen to Chanyeol's side of the conversation.

      “He wants to meet me...He said he wants to talk about everything.”

      “So are you going?” Xiumin asked. Chanyeol nodded slowly.

      “I told him I would...What if he still leaves me in the end though?”

      “Then it wasn't meant to be,” Xiumin soothed. “You'll get through this, Chanyeol.”

      “And we're here for you,” Baekhyun added. “You'll be ok.”

      “Thanks...I'll be back later, I guess?”

      “Unless things go well and you ditch us for Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun teased. Chanyeol laughed quietly and headed for the door.

      “Let's hope it goes that well.”

 

      Chanyeol ran out of Baekhyun's apartment, trying to get to the park as fast as he could. It wasn't too far away, but it would probably still take him 15 minutes to get there, even if he ran. This was the only time he ever felt his metal body wasn't all bad.

 

      He was almost to the park when he got stopped at a red light. It wasn't a very busy crossing, but Chanyeol never chanced crossing without a signal. He sighed, the seconds feeling like hours as he waited for the walk signal to appear. Finally, the light changed, and Chanyeol rushed forward, wanting to get to Kyungsoo as soon as possible. He was halfway across the crosswalk when a sudden light flooded his vision faster than he could react.

 

~*~

      Kyungsoo sat on the bench, tapping his foot nervously and checking his phone every 30 seconds. He'd called Chanyeol almost an hour ago, and he knew it didn't take that long to walk to the park from Baekhyun's house. He tried to reason with himself that perhaps Chanyeol hadn't left Baekhyun's house right away, needing to make himself presentable or some other excuse. The creeping fear that Chanyeol was blowing him off or that something had happened to him was driving him nuts.

 

      After another 5 minutes of agonizing waiting, he finally broke down and called Baekhyun to check if Chanyeol was still with him. He felt his heart drop into his gut when Baekhyun told him that Chanyeol had left almost immediately after Kyungsoo had called him. Something had to have happened. Kyungsoo quickly begged Baekhyun and Xiumin to search around and call him if they spotted Chanyeol, then hung up the phone.

 

      He ran around he entire park, praying that Chanyeol had just gone to the wrong bench and had been waiting for him the entire time. When he found no sign of him, Kyungsoo left the park, trying to figure out the path Chanyeol would have taken from Baekhyun's house to get there. His lungs burned from running everywhere, but he was too terrified of what could have happened to Chanyeol to stop and rest. Chanyeol _had_ to be alright.

 

      After checking most of the places surrounding the park, Kyungsoo finally happened upon a small intersection. He was going to pass right on through, but then he noticed a shoe poking out from behind a bush. He cautiously walked over, hoping with all his heart that it was just a homeless person sleeping beside the bush. Unfortunately, his hope went unanswered. Laying within the bush was Chanyeol, unconscious and looking battered.

      “Oh God no...” Kyungsoo whispered.

 

      He bent over and pulled Chanyeol from the brush with quite a bit of difficulty since he was heavy. Kyungsoo could feel a massive dent on Chanyeol's side, and his arm seemed broken. The most traumatizing view was the massive dent on Chanyeol's head, where he'd hit a tree beside the bush. There was a tear in his synthetic skin above the dent and a few broken wires were hanging out of it.

      “Chanyeol!” Kyungsoo cried, holding him close and cupping his cheek. “Chanyeol, wake up! You have to wake up! You can't do this...I need to apologize to you! I need to make it up to you...You can't be gone! Please, Chanyeol! Wake up!”

 

      When none of his desperate pleas worked, Kyungsoo pulled his phone out. He almost dialed for emergency, but then he remembered that they wouldn't be able to do anything for Chanyeol now. The only one who could was Xiumin and whatever lab he and Chanyeol came from. He dialed Baekhyun's number, failing to hold back his sobs as he waited for the other to pick up.

      “Did you find him?” Baekhyun asked the instant he answered the phone.

      “He's hurt,” Kyungsoo sobbed. “Baekhyun, he won't wake up! His head has a huge hole and there are broken wires and...I think he was hit by a car and they left him here. Baekhyun, what do I do!?”

      “Oh my God...” Baekhyun gasped. Kyungsoo heard him say something to what he assumed was Xiumin. “I'm going to pass the phone to Xiumin, alright?”

      “Ok...”

      “Kyungsoo?” Xiumin asked. “Where are you?”

      “At an intersection near the park. I can give you the streets...”

      “Alright. Baekhyun and I are going to head over there now. Don't move, alright? Especially Chanyeol. We don't want to risk hurting him further.”

      “Ok...Please get here soon.”

      “We will.”

 

      Xiumin didn't even give the phone back to Baekhyun, hanging up instantly. Kyungsoo let his tears fall once more, cradling Chanyeol's head in his arms. This was all his fault. If he'd just listened to Chanyeol the first time and talked everything through with him calmly, they never would have fought. Kyungsoo never would have asked him to come out here again. He would have been with Chanyeol the entire time, making sure that he was safe. This was all his fault. The realization only made him cry harder. Chanyeol couldn't be gone. Kyungsoo wouldn't be able to bear it.

 

      A car pulled over on the side of the road about 10 minutes later and Baekhyun and Xiumin jumped out. They ran over to Kyungsoo and knelt beside him. Baekhyun gasped and covered his mouth with his hands. Xiumin immediately began inspecting the damage to Chanyeol's head.

      “This is all my fault,” Kyungsoo whimpered. “I should have picked him up or something...I should have thought of a better meeting place...I shouldn't have gotten mad at him in the first place.”

      “Shh,” Baekhyun hushed, hugging Kyungsoo's head to his chest. This was the first time he'd seen Kyungsoo so upset and irrational. “You had no control over this. It wasn't your fault. We're going to take care of him, I promise. It's going to be ok.”

      “I'm the fucking worst,” Kyungsoo cried. “What if they can't help him? I can't lose him, Baekhyun...I can't! I love him!”

      “You won't lose him. It's going to be ok,” Baekhyun comforted.

      “We need to take him back to the lab. This damage is beyond what we can fix,” Xiumin explained.

      “Kyungsoo, we need to load him into the car. Can you help us?” Baekhyun asked.

      “Y-Yeah...”

      “Did you drive to the park?”

      “Yeah, but my car's too far out of the way. I'll sit in back with Chanyeol and you can drop me off at my car in the morning. There's nothing valuable in it so it should be ok overnight.”

      “Alright. Then let's go.”

 

      They carefully lifted Chanyeol and managed to get him into the back of Baekhyun's car. Even with the 3 of them, it was still a struggle to maneuver Chanyeol because he was so tall. Finally, when they had all of his limbs inside the car, Baekhyun shut the door and got into the driver's seat. Xiumin sat in the front passenger seat and Kyungsoo slid in beside Chanyeol, gently lifting his head and resting it on his lap. After that, they drove in silence, Xiumin's directions to the laboratory being the only thing to fill the air.

 

      The entire time, Kyungsoo stared down at Chanyeol, gently running his thumb along his cheek and sometimes wiping off the tears that dripped from his eyes onto Chanyeol's face. Kyungsoo wanted this all to be some terrible nightmare that he would wake up from in the morning. Unfortunately, Chanyeol's soft, synthetic skin felt too real for it to be a dream. This was all really happening. Chanyeol could really be gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *stares in angst* Welcome to the angsty part of the story OTL  I come back from my trip and give you this chapter of all things lol!  I had a lovely time though~  Stayed with a friend for a week then stopped in Newark for EXO's concert, and now I'm still exhausted but wee~  Wanted to update this for you guys before I go back to work and am too tired to update.  Poor Chanyeol ;;  You know, I've written lots of stories, but this is the first time someone's gotten hit by a car in a story OTL  Poor guy's gotten hit by 2 cars if you include the first car that killed him (or at least human him).  All I can say is brace yourself for more bumpy emotional problems and pain that coulda been avoided if any of these boys actually knew how to talk to each other honestly lmao!  Hopefully it'll be at least a little enjoyable? ;;  Or at least emotional?


	12. Chapter 12

      When they got to the research facility, Xiumin took care of carrying Chanyeol inside while Baekhyun had his arm around Kyungsoo's waist, trying to provide any sense of comfort that he could. Xiumin went over to desk in the front room of the laboratory and began talking to the person on shift. Baekhyun saw that person frantically pick up a phone and call someone. Soon, several scientists were rushing into the main room rolling a gurney along with them. Kyungsoo watched in horror as Xiumin carefully laid Chanyeol down on it. Fresh tears streaked down his cheeks as he watched Chanyeol being rolled away. Before he knew it, his head was pressed into Baekhyun's chest as the other rocked him and tried his best to comfort him. Xiumin walked over to them, looking more crestfallen than Baekhyun had ever seen him.

      “They're going to take care of him, but we'll have to wait for a while,” he explained quietly.

      “Can they save him?” Kyungsoo asked fearfully.

      “I think they can repair him,” Xiumin muttered. “We're just going to have to wait and see what happens.”

 

      Kyungsoo sighed and wrapped his arms around Baekhyun's waist, needing the physical reassurance. Xiumin motioned to a few chairs along the wall of the room and Baekhyun nodded. Together, they led Kyungsoo over to them and sat down. Instantly, Kyungsoo was leaning on Baekhyun's shoulder and trying not to cry again. This had been the most emotionally broken Baekhyun had seen Kyungsoo, and it scared him. He was scared for Chanyeol as well. Everything felt like it could come crashing to an end in a matter of seconds.

 

      Baekhyun glanced over at Xiumin and noticed him wiping at his eyes. Was he crying? Baekhyun hadn't even thought of how this must have felt for Xiumin. He'd almost lost Chanyeol in a car accident once. Being this close to losing him again was probably terrifying. Baekhyun reached his arm around Xiumin's shoulder and pulled him close as well, trying his best to comfort everyone. Xiumin was surprised at the action, but he gradually let himself relax against Baekhyun and be comforted.

 

      Hours passed while they waited for any news on Chanyeol. Baekhyun was amazed any of them were still awake, since it was extremely late at night. Kyungsoo looked like he was ready to pass out, but he always forced himself back awake any time he started to doze off. Finally, a scientist walked into the main room and Xiumin shot to his feet. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo quickly followed after him.

      “Is he ok?” Xiumin asked, walking over to the man.

      “We've managed to repair all the damage. He should be waking up soon.”

      “Thank goodness,” Kyungsoo breathed.

      “Can we see him?” Xiumin asked. The scientist nodded. “Is it ok for him to leave the facility when he wakes up?”

      “Yes. I'll take you to him now.” The man then leaned closer to Xiumin and lowered his voice so only Xiumin could hear. “I want to warn you. His head retained extensive damage, as did his endoskeleton. While we repaired his body, we don't know the state of Chanyeol's soul.”

 

      Xiumin let out a shaky sigh and nodded slowly, trying to let the information sink in. Baekhyun bit his lip, not liking Xiumin's sudden change in behavior. What had the man said?

      “What?” Kyungsoo asked. “What did you tell him? Is Chanyeol ok?”

      “We're going to go see him now, Kyungsoo,” Xiumin sighed. “I'll tell you everything later, ok?”

 

      Kyungsoo wanted to protest, but Baekhyun placed his hand on his waist and nodded for him to follow the man and Xiumin. Kyungsoo let out a sigh and let Baekhyun pull him along. They stopped in front of a room and the scientist opened the door for them. Slowly, the three walked into the room, and the scientist shut the door behind them. Chanyeol was laying in a bed unconscious, looking good as new. Kyungsoo let out a relieved sigh and sat down in the chair beside Chanyeol's bed. Xiumin remained standing at the foot of the bed. Baekhyun walked over to him cautiously.

      “What did he tell you earlier?” Baekhyun asked. Xiumin sighed.

      “Kyungsoo, listen,” he started, getting both of their attention.

      “What is it?” Kyungsoo asked. “Is Chanyeol ok?”

      “His body is fine,” Xiumin explained. “What they aren't sure of is his soul.”

      “What do you mean?” Kyungsoo asked in a hushed voice.

      “Our souls are bonded to the endoskeleton...Chanyeol's was damaged pretty badly...”

      “So you think he might be...” Kyungsoo mumbled, cutting himself off. “No, he can't be...”

      “Kyungsoo-” Xiumin started.

 

      Chanyeol's eyes suddenly shot open on the bed, rendering all of them silent. Chanyeol's eyes slowly started scanning the room before settling on Kyungsoo.

      “Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo asked hopefully.

      “Are you my owner?” Chanyeol asked.

 

      Everyone in the room felt a collective punch to the gut. Baekhyun could feel his eyes watering, recognizing how similar this sounded to Xiumin's first start-up. Kyungsoo looked completely stunned. He tried to smile as he continued to speak to the robot.

      “Chanyeol, it's me...Don't you recognize me?”

      “You aren't in my registry. If you give me your name, I'll add you now.”

      “Chanyeol, it's me!” Kyungsoo cried. “It's me, Kyungsoo!”

      “Kyungsoo: registered.”

 

      Baekhyun bit his lip, looking away from his friend as he slowly broke down crying beside Chanyeol. He glanced at Xiumin, who had covered his face with his hands. Baekhyun didn't think he'd ever seen Xiumin this upset either. Was Chanyeol really gone?

      “Chanyeol, please don't do this!” Kyungsoo begged.

      “I don't understand,” the robot responded.

      “You can't be gone,” Kyungsoo sobbed. “Come back! Please!”

      “Kyungsoo, stop,” Xiumin finally muttered. “Shouting at him isn't going to do any good.”

      “They have to bring him back!” Kyungsoo yelled. “Get the scientists to bring him back!”

      “They've done what they can, Kyungsoo,” Xiumin sighed. “They can't help us anymore.”

      “So Chanyeol's really gone?” Baekhyun asked weakly.

      “Maybe, maybe not...”

      “What do you mean?” Kyungsoo asked.

      “You remember how I was when my soul first bonded with the robot. It took a while for me to properly wake up. That's why they programmed the robots to act like this until that point.”

      “Chanyeol had already woken up though...” Baekhyun mumbled.

      “Right, but he got hurt. His soul might have gotten separated at that time. What we don't know is if his soul completely left the robot or not. He might still be holding on in there, but his soul might have to rebond to the robot again.”

      “How do you do that?”

      “It takes a really strong emotional experience. For me, that was sleeping with Baekhyun. For Chanyeol the first time, it was watching his human body die. This time, I don't know what it'll take. I don't know if he's even still there or not. We really don't know, Kyungsoo.”

      “So you're saying he could never come back...He could really be gone...”

      “He could,” Xiumin answered weakly. “But I think if we want to put our hope in him, we should. He held on to life before, he could do it again.”

      “So how do we try to wake him up then?”

      “I think having him stay with you would be for the best. He loved you, Kyungsoo. If anyone's going to draw him out, it's going to be you.”

 

      Kyungsoo glanced back to Chanyeol, who was still laying in bed staring at him with a confused expression. His shoulders shook and he fought back a few tears. He couldn't give up on Chanyeol. He would do anything to try and get him back. He let out a sigh and gently placed his hand on Chanyeol's cheek.

      “I'm your owner,” he said softly. “Will you come home with me?”

      “Yes,” Chanyeol answered simply. Kyungsoo turned back to Xiumin.

      “I can take him home with me now, right?”

      “Yeah...”

      “Then let's go home. I don't want to be here any longer...”

 

      Kyungsoo got up and Chanyeol pushed himself up off the bed. Kyungsoo grabbed Chanyeol's hand in his own and led him out of the room. Baekhyun and Xiumin followed behind them. Nothing more was said on the subject of Chanyeol, but the suffocating atmosphere around them seemed to get tenser with each passing moment. As they made their way to the front, they passed the head scientist that Baekhyun had talked to the last time he came to the laboratory. The group bowed to him and the man nodded back in greeting.

      “Thank you for taking care of him,” Xiumin said softly.

      “Of course. It's the least we can do. You'll look after him from here on?”

      “Yeah. I'll let you know if he improves.”

      “Thank you.”

 

      The man nodded and continued on his way. Xiumin turned back to Baekhyun and Kyungsoo and gave them a tense smile.

      “Let's go back.”

 

      Baekhyun nodded and started walking forward again, leading the group back to his car. Kyungsoo helped Chanyeol get into the backseat of the car while Xiumin and Baekhyun got into the front seat and the driver's seat. The drive back after that was mostly silent except for Kyungsoo talking to Chanyeol and pointing out different stores and sights as they drove, hoping that Chanyeol would remember or recognize some of them. Instead, Chanyeol just added everything to his registry.

 

      When they got back to the park, Baekhyun parked beside Kyungsoo's car and they all got out to say goodbye to each other. Kyungsoo turned to Xiumin and offered him his best attempt at a smile.

      “Thank you, Xiumin. I really don't know what I would have done if you hadn't helped.”

      “Of course. He's my best friend,” Xiumin said, looking at Chanyeol sadly. “Keep me updated, ok?”

      “I will. I think for now, we all need to go home. It's late...”

      “Take care, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun said, hugging his friend close. Kyungsoo returned the action tenfold to Baekhyun's surprise.

      “I will. Thank you for being with me. Drive home safely.”

 

      Baekhyun nodded and pulled away. He and Xiumin watched Kyungsoo guide Chanyeol into his car and drive away. After that, Baekhyun and Xiumin returned to his car and drove back home. Baekhyun didn't even know what to say in the current situation. Truthfully, he was still in shock that it had happened at all. He was terrified of Chanyeol's fate as well. He prayed for all of their sakes that Chanyeol was still there somehow.

 

      When Baekhyun and Xiumin got home, the latter headed straight for Baekhyun's bedroom. He just wanted to go into his charging state and forget for a little while that his best friend had been hurt and could possibly be gone. He felt so hopeless. What if Chanyeol was really gone for good? What would Xiumin do, being the only one still like this? He still hadn't apologized for how thoughtless he'd been of Chanyeol's situation. Xiumin really was a terrible friend.

 

      He sighed and placed his head in his hands. He could tell his body was crying, but he didn't feel any of the emotional relief that came with it. This body was an absolute nightmare to live in. There was absolutely no relief for the pain Xiumin was feeling. He felt two arms snake around his waist and he sighed. Truthfully, he didn't even want Baekhyun to hold him right now. He just wanted to shut everything off, including the whirling feelings in his chest.

 

      Baekhyun pressed himself against Xiumin's back and began placing kisses on his neck. Baekhyun was never this affectionate unless they were having sex. Was that what he was trying to instigate now? Xiumin definitely wasn't up for that. He pulled Baekhyun's hands away and took a few steps forward, looking at him sadly.

      “Please don't, Baekhyun,” he pleaded quietly. “I don't want to do that right now...”

      “That...?” Baekhyun repeatedly, looking almost shocked. “You mean sex? Did you think I just wanted to have sex with you?”

      “I don't know...” Xiumin whispered. “Didn't you?” That was all he was good for in this state after all. It was probably all that Baekhyun would ever want him for.

 

      Instead of answering Xiumin's question, however, Baekhyun got uncomfortably quiet. He mumbled something about getting food and left Xiumin alone in the room. Xiumin let out a quiet groan and sat down in the corner of the room, resting his forehead on his knees. He'd wanted Baekhyun to deny him just now. To tell him that he loved him and wanted more than just pleasure and company from him. Baekhyun had said none of those things, however. Perhaps that really was all Baekhyun had wanted from him after all. Maybe it was pointless for Xiumin to keep hope. Chanyeol wasn't here to talk him through things anymore and keep him from being a complete, overthinking idiot either. Xiumin was just too tired for any of this.

 

      He saw Baekhyun come back into the room a little while later, texting on his phone. Xiumin guessed he was probably talking to Kyungsoo to make sure he was alright. Baekhyun didn't bother looking up from his phone or acknowledging Xiumin's presence, and Xiumin was truthfully feeling too upset to try and bridge whatever strange gap was forming between them now. Instead, he let his metal body's natural process take over, and he blacked out for the night.

 

      Baekhyun glanced up from his phone after Xiumin entered his recharge phase and finally let his tears drop from earlier. He'd only been trying to comfort Xiumin in some way, but of course it had gotten misconstrued as something sexual. Everyone always just assumed all Baekhyun wanted was sex. He'd thought Xiumin was different, that he believed that Baekhyun cared for him, but in the end, he could never escape his old habits. All anyone would ever want him for was sex anyway.

 

      Realizing Xiumin felt that way about him hurt more than anything though. Baekhyun was already heartbroken over Chanyeol's situation, but he definitely didn't need to be heartbroken even further by Xiumin. Baekhyun didn't think he could even bear to be around Xiumin right now. He needed to get away from all of this. His phone vibrated suddenly, as if on cue, and he answered the call.

      “Hello?”

      “I'm here. Did you really want to come over?”

      “Yes...”

      “Alright. Then come out when you're ready...”

 

      Baekhyun hung up the phone and let out a shaky sigh. He glanced at Xiumin one last time, debating whether he really wanted to do this after all. His head wasn't in the right place. This seemed like the best way to escape. He grabbed his backpack and school supplies, as well as his laptop and a few changes of clothes, then he left the apartment, locking the door behind him. Xiumin would be fine on his own for a while. It wasn't like he actually needed Baekhyun for anything.

 

      Baekhyun walked down his steps to a car that had pulled into one of the parking spots. Sitting on the hood was none other than the dorm head, staring at him curiously. Baekhyun tried to smile, but he was sure it was cringe worthy. The dorm head returned his smile with his own sad one.

      “Are you sure you don't want to drive there yourself?” He asked.

      “I'm sure...I don't want my car to be parked there. I don't really want to be found...” Baekhyun mumbled.

      “Are you sure you're alright? You're not in any danger?”

      “I'm fine, Junmyeon,” Baekhyun sighed. “I just need a release right now.”

      “Alright...Then let's go.”

 

      Junmyeon walked over to the passenger side and opened the door for Baekhyun. When they were both inside the car, Junmyeon drove away, taking Baekhyun away from his suffocating apartment and away from Xiumin. Baekhyun hated that he already missed him. He'd really fallen in love with Xiumin. Baekhyun wished he could take it all back now. This was why he'd avoided love in the first place. He just wasn't good at it nor was it meant for him. Perhaps this was for the best after all. He needed to distance himself from Xiumin.

 

~*~

      When Xiumin woke up the next morning, he wasn't surprised to see that Baekhyun had already left his bed. Things had been very tense between them the night before, and Xiumin figured Baekhyun was probably trying to get ready on his own. They would need to talk about their conversation last night. Xiumin dreaded it, but he knew it had made things strained between them, and even if Baekhyun never felt more for him, Xiumin didn't want this to tear them apart.

 

      He got up with a sigh and headed into the kitchen. He was a bit more surprised to find that Baekhyun wasn't in the kitchen either. Xiumin had woken up at his usual time, which was always earlier than when Baekhyun would get up. How much earlier had Baekhyun woken up just to avoid Xiumin? The thought made him really sad. Was it because Xiumin had figured out how Baekhyun really felt and now Baekhyun felt too guilty to be around him? Or had something else happened that Xiumin was completely unaware of?

 

      Why were feelings with Baekhyun so complicated? Xiumin had always been a coward, even back before the crash. Chanyeol had been the one repeatedly setting him up on dates and despite all his efforts, Xiumin always chickened out of confessing when he had numerous chances. It was the same with Baekhyun, but Xiumin felt even more terrified and frozen with him. Part of it was because of how his body was. Baekhyun had told him many times that he was still human, but Xiumin couldn't help but find himself unappealing all the same. Who would choose a hunk of metal over soft skin and a beating heart? The other part of the problem was just how much Xiumin liked Baekhyun. He was pretty sure he'd never liked someone as much as he liked Baekhyun. Facing rejection from him would honestly break Xiumin's heart. So in his attempt to avoid that, he'd denied his feelings and kept them completely to himself.

 

      Xiumin sighed and left the kitchen. He didn't need food to go on with his day like Baekhyun did, and if Baekhyun wasn't there, there really wasn't a reason for Xiumin to eat at all. He hadn't realized how much reason Baekhyun gave him to act like he was still human. Xiumin returned to Baekhyun's room and got dressed. Baekhyun had taken his backpack with him, so Xiumin was sure he'd headed to school already. Xiumin had to go to work himself, so he couldn't doddle for too much longer.

 

      Xiumin got changed into his work clothes and headed out of the small apartment. He paused and stared in shock at Baekhyun's car still parked at his apartment. Had Baekhyun actually walked to school? Why? Was something wrong with his car? Now Xiumin was starting to panic a bit. Baekhyun wasn't metal like him, so walking all the way to school would be exhausting. What if he'd needed help earlier, but Xiumin was still charging so he was useless? Xiumin wanted so badly to call Baekhyun or check up on him somehow, but he didn't have a phone nor did he have time to run to his school. Besides, he didn't know where any of Baekhyun's classes were in the first place, so it would be a wild goose chase.

 

      He headed to work begrudgingly, telling himself that he would check up on Baekhyun when he picked him up. Perhaps then they would talk about everything that was going on between them as well as how they both felt about Chanyeol. Xiumin had wanted distance last night, but now he found himself in desperate need of support from a friend, and obviously, he couldn't go to Chanyeol anymore.

 

      The work day dragged on for Xiumin, despite it being only a half day. It was slow though and Xiumin couldn't stop worrying about Baekhyun. Something was definitely off. Xiumin needed to check up on Baekhyun and make sure he was ok. Had Xiumin said something to hurt Baekhyun? He wouldn't be surprised if that were the case. That seemed to be all he was good at doing. What could it have been though? Was it because Baekhyun really did want to have sex with him that night? Xiumin couldn't remember saying anything else that would have upset Baekhyun to the point where he couldn't stand being around Xiumin. Then again, maybe Baekhyun was just sick and tired of him in general. No matter how Xiumin tried to distract himself, he couldn't stop dwelling on all of this.

 

      Finally, Xiumin's shift ended and he rushed over to Baekhyun's college and waited for him in their usual place. He paced around anxiously for a good 15 minutes, and there was no sign of Baekhyun whatsoever. Xiumin tried to comfort himself with the idea that Baekhyun's class probably went over or he had to talk to a teacher or something, but his hope dwindled by the second. He heard someone call out his name and rapidly turned around, praying it would be Baekhyun. Instead he was faced with Kyungsoo, who was holding Chanyeol's hand and leading him around campus. Kyungsoo looked surprised to see Xiumin like this.

      “Hey...” Xiumin started awkwardly. “How are you?”

      “I'm living,” Kyungsoo sighed. He glanced at Chanyeol and tried to smile. “I brought him back to school and gave him his class schedule. I thought it might help bring him out, but so far, nothing...But he's like you were back then. He loves to learn new things, so I think he's enjoying it.”

      “I see...” Xiumin muttered. “Have you seen Baekhyun at all?”

      “I haven't. I was actually going to ask you about him...He didn't meet us for lunch today and I don't know if he even went to his classes since we don't have any together. Is he ok?”

      “I don't know. He left really early this morning and didn't take his car. He didn't leave any notes either. I'm worried something happened...”

      “That's not like him,” Kyungsoo commented, tapping his lip with his finger.

      “I'm going to go look for him in some of the places we've gone to together. Will you let me know if you see him? I don't really have a phone, but...”

      “If I see him, I'll contact you somehow,” Kyungsoo promised.

      “Thanks.”

 

      Xiumin rushed out of the school, fully panicked now. Something was _definitely_ wrong. What if something had happened to Baekhyun? What if he'd gotten hurt somewhere? Xiumin didn't think he'd be able to handle that. Chanyeol was heartbreak enough, but losing Baekhyun would be unbearable. Xiumin had been an idiot to ignore his feelings and push them away for so long. How could he even imagine a world without Baekhyun at his side?

 

      He ran to the small restaurant he'd taken Baekhyun to before, but had no luck. After, he went to the mall, though he doubted Baekhyun would be there of all places. In general, Baekhyun hated places with lots of people, so he didn't go out all that often. It made Xiumin's life a nightmare since he didn't know where to even begin looking for Baekhyun. He hadn't taken his car with him either so Xiumin couldn't scan parking lots to find it. Had he done this on purpose to avoid Xiumin?

 

      Xiumin went home a nervous wreck, having found no sight of Baekhyun. If this had been how Baekhyun had felt when Xiumin disappeared suddenly, then Xiumin really had a lot to apologize for. This was miserable and terrifying. He just wanted Baekhyun to come home and be safe. Perhaps he still would. It was his home after all. If he wanted Xiumin to leave to make it more comfortable, he would. He just wanted Baekhyun to come back. Xiumin forced himself to stay awake all night to wait. Unfortunately, Baekhyun never returned home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so...the xiubaek angst follows the chansoo angst OTL  Will these boys ever learn to talk about their feelings?  The world may never know XP  I hope this isn't just like...terrible ;;  I'm doing that thing where I overanalyze my writing OTL  But this story is almost completed (I've got one last chapter left to write and then 4 more to upload), so hopefully you'll stick with it til the end and it will be at least a little satisfying for you T~T  For now, enjoy the angst and pain because it's going to go on for another 2-3 chapters XD


	13. Chapter 13

      Baekhyun woke up with an arm slung over his waist and a warm body spooning him from behind. He sighed, memories of the previous night flooding into his head again. Thinking about it with a clearer head, Baekhyun regretted everything. He regretted not being more patient with Xiumin and putting his own worries before Xiumin's. They had both been so upset about Chanyeol, that should have been the focus of the night, not what they each meant to the other. Baekhyun didn't even know how anyone was doing. Kyungsoo was probably still heartbroken over Chanyeol, and who knew what Xiumin was doing now. He seemed to do better with thinking things through on his own, so perhaps this was for the best.

 

      It had hurt Baekhyun more than he thought possible that Xiumin thought of him the same way everyone else did though. He'd thought that after all the time they spent together and how many times they'd talked about it that Xiumin would know that Baekhyun wasn't just using him for sex. Then again, Baekhyun had just proved that he really was nothing better than a mindless slut. Xiumin deserved much better than him.

 

      The arm around his waist tightened and the body behind him shifted closer. It was so much softer and warmer than Xiumin, but Baekhyun still found himself feeling dissatisfied. He felt disgusting and empty. This had been a terrible idea.

      “You're sighing,” Junmyeon mumbled into his back. “You're thinking too much again, aren't you?”

      “How can you read me that well when all we've done is sleep together a few times in the past?”

      “You used to live here, remember? I tried to look after all the residents here.”

      “Yeah,” Baekhyun sighed. “That's one of your best qualities...It was why I felt like I could always come to you.”

      “And you can,” Junmyeon said softly. “So do you want to tell me why you really wanted to sleep with me? It wasn't just because you craved sex, right? Didn't you have that super protective boyfriend? I would have thought you'd go to him.”

      “I wish he were my boyfriend,” Baekhyun muttered with a bitter laugh. “We were nothing more than friends with benefits...”

      “Ah, so he's the problem then,” Junmyeon stated simply. Baekhyun sighed and nodded. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

      “I was an idiot.”

      “That's descriptive. Did you two get in a fight?”

      “Kind of? It wasn't like we were shouting at each other, but he said something and it made me realize some things...”

      “What did he say?”

      “Well, something really bad happened to someone we both know,” Baekhyun explained trying to keep everything vague so he didn't sound crazy. “I knew he was hurting, so I wanted to comfort him...but he thought I just wanted to have sex with him and he got upset.”

      “And you didn't want it at that moment.”

      “Of course not. I wanted to hold him...to cry with him, and just be there for him...”

      “So he misunderstood and you two fought after that?”

      “We didn't even fight. I just asked him if he really thought I just wanted to have sex with him and he just said 'didn't you?' What kind of response is that? He really didn't think of me as anything more than a hungry slut.”

      “I think you're the one thinking that way,” Junmyeon sighed sadly. “Did you tell him that that wasn't your intention?” Baekhyun shook his head and Junmyeon sighed a bit louder. “How is he supposed to know if you don't tell him?”

      “I've told him I care about him and want to be there for him...Would I really say those things if all I wanted was sex?”

      “Maybe he's feeling insecure about it too, Baekhyun.”

      “What do you mean?”

      “Just because you tell someone something, it doesn't mean they're automatically going to believe it, right? If that were the case, you wouldn't hate yourself so much.”

      “Junmyeon...”

      “You can't deny it though, right?” The dorm head asked sadly. Finally Baekhyun sighed and nodded in agreement. “It might be the same for him. You don't know how a person is really feeling until you ask them about it. Maybe he was still scared that you felt that way about him despite what you said. Maybe he was asking because he really needed to hear those words from you again.”

      “But if he didn't see me in such a bad light, would he have a need to be insecure about having sex with me? What if he thought I had absolutely no devotion or self control? I don't want to be viewed like that by someone I love...”

      “Maybe that was the case, but maybe he has his own hang ups. No one is without their insecurities, Baekhyun. Without hearing his side of things or talking about it with him, you really can't know. It could be that you're pushing your own hangups on him and completely misreading him.”

      “So you think I made a really stupid decision?”

      “A little bit,” Junmyeon said with a soft laugh. “I don't think running away from him is the answer, and sleeping with me probably didn't help things at all either. But I imagine he's as torn up about the situation and worried about you as you are about him.”

    “I don't know about that...”

      “I saw the way he protected you and took care of you,” Junmyeon stated. “He cares about you, Baekhyun. Don't throw that away. It doesn't have to be right away since you're still hurting, but talk to him and sort this out.”

      “What if I find that he really does just see me as a slut? I mean, I am, but...”

      “You aren't,” Junmyeon soothed. “And that may end up being the case. If that happens, you'll have to figure out whether you want him in your life and if so, to what capacity. But I don't think you'll have to worry about that Baekhyun.”

      “Why are you so sure? You don't even know him...”

      “No, but I've seen him with you and seen the way he looks at you...and I've seen the way you look at him. You light up and you're so happy, Baekhyun. Do you know how relieved I was when I saw you looking so well?”

      “You were worried about me?”

      “Of course I was. I couldn't do anything to help you back then and I still feel bad about it...But seeing you looking so happy around campus and meeting up with him, I thought you were finally moving on. Don't give up on that.”

      “I love him so much, Junmyeon...But there's no way he'd want me now, right?”

      “You're going to have to ask him that yourself,” Junmyeon said solemnly. “If I'd known you were having relationship problems, I wouldn't have slept with you. I'm really sorry.” Baekhyun shook his head.

      “This was my decision and my fault, not yours, Junmyeon.”

      “Still, I really want this to work out for you.”

      “I guess we'll see,” Baekhyun muttered. “I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess.”

      “Don't apologize,” Junmyeon said, hugging him a bit tighter. “I'm going to get up and get ready for class now...Do you want to come or are you going to stay here?”

      “You're not going to kick me out?”

      “Of course not.” Junmyeon sat up and looked down at Baekhyun with a gentle smile. “Now that I know what's going on, you can stay here as long as you need, no sex required or allowed from this point on...But don't stall for too long, alright? Too much time might make things even worse.”

      “Thank you, Junmyeon...I don't know how to repay you.”

      “This is me repaying you for not being able to save you back when you lived here. Let's call it even between us now, alright?”

      “Alright...”

      “And if you make up with this guy, if it's not too awkward and uncomfortable, I'd love to meet him.”

      “I'll see what I can do,” Baekhyun said, managing a small smile.

 

      Junmyeon got off the bed and ruffled Baekhyun's hair before heading to his bathroom to change. Baekhyun sighed and snuggled into the covers. Maybe Junmyeon was right. Maybe Baekhyun had interpretted Xiumin's words wrong. He wondered if Xiumin was at home alone worrying about him or if he was going on as if nothing had happened. He would probably be furious once he learned where Baekhyun was and what he'd done though. He'd completely ruined everything between them. Xiumin would probably forgive him running off, since he'd done it himself to Baekhyun before, but there was no way he would forgive Baekhyun for sleeping with someone else. No one would. Baekhyun was absolutely disgusting, and Xiumin would never love him. He deserved so much more.

 

~*~

      Xiumin was in a daze the day after Baekhyun didn't come home. His body was giving him warning signs that he was overexerting himself, but he couldn't have cared less. He ate enough food to shut them off for a while, then got right back to waiting for Baekhyun to come home. He knew he wouldn't be returning at this point, but he still held onto that dumb hope, like a puppy waiting for their owner to get home. Perhaps that was all Xiumin ever was to Baekhyun.

 

      Sadly, the time for Xiumin to leave for work arrived, and he went there, completely unrested and full of anxiety. He could hardly focus on even the simplest of tasks. His mind was reeling, trying to think of anywhere Baekhyun could be and wondering if he was safe. After what felt like his longest shift yet, he headed to school again, though he was fairly certain he wouldn't see Baekhyun there. He might find Kyungsoo though, and he might have had better luck getting a hold of Baekhyun.

 

      Xiumin paced around the same spot where he'd met Kyungsoo the day before. He didn't know his or Chanyeol's school schedule nor did he have a means to contact them except for Baekhyun's cellphone, which was of course with Baekhyun at the moment. Xiumin was really regretting not letting Baekhyun get him a phone. He would definitely be splurging on one as soon as he had the money. To his relief, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo walked by that area about 20 minutes later. Xiumin ran over to them instantly, surprising both of them.

      “Xiumin!” Kyungsoo gasped.

      “Have you heard from Baekhyun yet?” Xiumin asked immediately, forgetting about any form of greeting. Kyungsoo shook his head.

      “He won't pick up his phone and he hasn't returned any of my calls. He's never ignored me like this before.”

      “What if he's in trouble?” Xiumin asked worriedly.

      “He might just want to be alone,” Kyungsoo offered. “Do you mind if I ask what even happened? One minute we were all crying over Chanyeol and the next, Baekhyun's missing and you're a panicked mess.”

      “I...I'm not really sure I know myself what happened,” Xiumin whispered. “I think I might have hurt him...but I don't know how to feel anymore...”

      “Just tell me what happened, ok? I'm here for you too.”

      “I'm sorry,” Xiumin mumbled. “We're both causing you trouble now when you're already...” He cut himself off and glanced over at Chanyeol, who was staring at both of them with an indifferent expression. Kyungsoo smiled and shook his head.

      “It's really ok. Baekhyun's like a brother to me, and I want you two to both be happy and ok.”

      “Well, after we left you and Chanyeol, we went home...Baekhyun wrapped his arms around my waist when we got there, which wasn't too surprising. Baekhyun's always been cuddly with me...but then he started kissing the back of my neck and I...Baekhyun only ever kisses me when we're having sex, so I thought...”

      “You thought he wanted to have sex with you,” Kyungsoo supplied. Xiumin nodded, looking down at the ground.

      “I told him I didn't want it and he got upset that I thought that, but when I asked him if that was what he wanted, he didn't say anything...just gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the night. And the next morning he was gone...”

      “You two are really bad at communicating, aren't you?” Kyungsoo sighed. Xiumin nodded guiltily.

      “I guess we are...”

 

      Kyungsoo sighed again and patted Xiumin's arm before lowering his hand down to grab his wrist gently. He was trying to be reassuring, but there was really little he could do to reassure anyone right now. Not even himself.

      “Xiumin, I think you both misunderstood some things...”

      “I figured that, but what...? Does he hate me? Is he disgusted with me?”

      “No,” Kyungsoo said softly. “It's the opposite, Xiumin. Baekhyun cares for you so much, it's kinda ridiculous.”

      “How? Why?”

      “I don't know. Those are things you should ask him...but I will say this. Baekhyun never kisses anyone, especially during sex. The fact that he kissed you at all means so much, Xiumin. Do you realize that?”

      “I didn't...I knew he asked for no kissing at first, but...”

      “You're the first person he's even kissed during sex. And I'm sure he wanted to do it more often than that so he tried it this time, but as we can both see, Baekhyun sucks at communicating as well, so his intentions probably never came across to you properly.”

      “So why did he leave?” Xiumin asked. “All I wanted when I asked him if he wanted to have sex was for him to say no...to say that I meant more to him than that. So why didn't he say it if that's how he really felt?”

      “Baekhyun's really sensitive, and he has a tendency to think poorly of himself in every situation. I don't think he even realized that was a question you genuinely wanted him to answer.”

      “You think he thought I was being a sarcastic asshole?”

      “That's possible...Probable, actually,” Kyungsoo sighed. “Baekhyun's got a lot of insecurities about having sex, despite how much he's had it. Most of his insecurities come from being unable to forgive himself for how he was in the past.”

      “I've never brought any of that up with him before though...”

      “No, but what I'm saying is Baekhyun can't see past it. To him, your reply probably came off as something similar to 'isn't that all you want, you slut?'”

      “I would never tell him something like that! Or even think something like that! I've never thought that way about him, so why would he interpret it that way?”

      “I don't know,” Kyungsoo mumbled. “I just know that's how he thinks about himself. It's how he's been for a long time. You were the only person he really could get past his insecurities with, except...maybe he's not past them after all...”

      “So I basically made him feel like shit without realizing it,” Xiumin stated. “And I'm the reason he's missing and probably hurting somewhere...”

      “It's not your fault,” Kyungsoo soothed. “It's really not. You both misread each other and neither of you meant to hurt the other. We don't even know if that's why Baekhyun is gone. This is just what I'm guessing, based on what I know of his feelings.”

      “So what do I do? How do I get him to come home? I need to talk to him and apologize, Kyungsoo, but I don't even know where he is! I'm so worried about him...”

      “Maybe he just needs time to calm down. Maybe he'll come home after a couple of days.”

      “He won't if he thinks I hate him,” Xiumin said weakly. “I need to talk to him, Kyungsoo...”

      “All we can really do is keep trying to reach him on his phone...”

      “Will you do that for me, please? I don't have a phone...”

      “Of course. I'll drop by if I hear anything from him. Baekhyun's apartment isn't far from my own.”

      “Thank you, Kyungsoo...I'm sorry I hurt Baekhyun...”

      “It's ok,” Kyungsoo comforted, giving Xiumin's wrist a gentle squeeze. “You didn't mean to hurt him...You love him, right?”

      “Yes,” Xiumin whispered, finally admitting it out loud.

      “Then that's more than I could ask for. You'll get through to him eventually and apologize, and everything will be ok. Tell him how you feel, Xiumin. He needs to know.”

      “What if he hates me? What if he can't accept me?”

      “He's loved you for a long time, Xiumin. It's going to be ok. The hardest part is going to be convincing _him_ that you love him...and I think that's probably why he really left.”

      “He's loved me...?” Xiumin repeated. “Why would he love someone like me? All I do is hurt him. And I'm not even...”

      “Let's get him home, and then you two can talk about all of this. Alright?”

      “Yeah...Thank you so much, Kyungsoo.”

 

      Xiumin's vision blurred for a moment, and he almost lost his balance. Kyungsoo and even Chanyeol reached forward to steady him on his feet. Xiumin felt his body try to shut down for a moment, but he pushed past it, waiting for some of his extra fuel to kick in. Finally, his vision cleared and he refocused his attention on Kyungsoo.

      “Are you alright!?” The boy gasped.

      “Yeah...I'm fine.”

      “Xiumin, have you charged recently?”

      “Not since Baekhyun left...”

      “Are you serious!? You need to charge! You don't know how it'll affect your body but it already looks like you're pushing yourself! What are you going to do if you collapse or something happens to you?”

      “I'll be fine. If I eat food, I can still function.”

      “I still don't like this...Be careful, ok? I don't want you crashing just in time for Baekhyun to come back.”

      “I'll be fine.”

 

      Kyungsoo sighed, but decided not to argue. Xiumin thanked him again, then headed away from the school to wait for Baekhyun at home again. Kyungsoo took Chanyeol, who didn't seem to entirely follow any of the conversation they had, back to his car and drove them both home. It was interesting to see Chanyeol's programmed side in comparison to Xiumin's. He was still curious, but he was much quieter, preferring to listen and learn rather than ask questions. Kyungsoo missed the random, usually laughter inducing questions. Everything felt like it was falling apart faster than he could glue the pieces back together.

 

~*~

      Kyungsoo called Baekhyun's work in hopes that he'd at least shown up there in the past few days. Unfortunately, he'd called in sick and taken a couple days off, so Kyungsoo was still no closer to finding some sort of trail. Truthfully, he was terrified of where Baekhyun might be as well. He'd seen him go days without returning to his dorm room before, and it had filled Kyungsoo with the same amount of anxiety then as it did now.

 

      Kyungsoo had a nasty little feeling that he knew how Baekhyun was avoiding them all, but he wanted it to be just him overthinking. He didn't want Baekhyun to spiral back into old habits, especially with how happy he'd been lately. He could only pray that they could find him and Xiumin could convince him to come back home. If anyone was going to bring Baekhyun home, it would be Xiumin, but Kyungsoo would do his best to help.

 

      He sighed and snuggled closer to Chanyeol in bed. They always slept together, but unlike before, Chanyeol kept his hands at his side and Kyungsoo was the only one clinging. It was a constant reminder of everything Kyungsoo had turned away. He still hated and blamed himself for everything that happened to Chanyeol. If he'd been a better person, he would have talked it through with him that night in the park instead of running away. Then Chanyeol would have been with him or at his own apartment instead of out on the street. If Chanyeol never came back to Kyungsoo, he really didn't know what he would do. How was he supposed to go on and leave Chanyeol like this? Then again, if that were the case, that would mean Chanyeol weren't there at all. The thought alone broke Kyungsoo's heart and brought tears to his eyes.

 

      He rested his head on Chanyeol's shoulder like he always did. It brought back painful memories of Chanyeol expressing anxieties to Kyungsoo. If only he'd known what he knew now. He would have reassured Chanyeol so much better than he had. Kyungsoo wanted so badly to be better for Chanyeol, but it might have been too late.

      “Are you upset?” Chanyeol asked suddenly.

      “What?” Kyungsoo asked, staring at him in shock.

      “Are you upset?” Chanyeol repeated.

      “Kind of...A lot is going on right now and I feel so helpless.”

      “Would you like to talk?”

      “Maybe...Do you want to talk?”

      “If it'll help you feel better, then yes,” Chanyeol stated simply. Kyungsoo smiled.

      “Alright, then let's talk.”

 

      He snuggled closer with a sigh, trying to think of where to start. He jumped when he felt one of Chanyeol's arms snake underneath him and wrap around his back, giving it gentle pats. He hadn't done this since the incident.

      “What's wrong?” Chanyeol asked. Kyungsoo couldn't tell if he was asking in general or if he was asking because Kyungsoo had completely frozen at his touch.

      “Someone I love very much got hurt,” Kyungsoo whispered, nuzzling into Chanyeol's neck. Nothing felt close enough anymore. “I don't know how to help him and I'm scared he'll never get better.”

      “Have you taken him to a doctor?”

      “The doctors can't do anything for him. All I can do is wait and hope...”

      “That must be really hard. I'm sorry you're having to go through that. I hope he recovers soon.”

      “Me too,” Kyungsoo whispered, his voice shaking as he held back tears. Chanyeol didn't even realize he was talking about him.

      “What about that guy earlier today?”

      “Xiumin,” Kyungsoo clarified. Chanyeol didn't even recognize his best friend anymore. “He's struggling too.”

      “I didn't understand what you were talking about with him.”

      “Another close friend of ours got in a bit of a fight with Xiumin and disappeared. Neither of us have heard from him in 2 days now and it's really starting to scare us. I'm trying my best to find some trace of him, but I don't know where he could be...I'm so scared he's doing something self-destructive. What if he needs me but I'm not there? I've always looked out for him and now I just feel so powerless.”

      “He'll be fine,” Chanyeol soothed. Kyungsoo looked up at him curiously.

      “How do you know?”

      “I just think he'll be fine. You've always taken care of him, right? So he knows he can come to you. He'll go to you if he needs you. And you'll help him when he does.”

      “Yeah, you're right...”

      “It won't get resolved tonight, so try not to let it affect your rest. You need your strength to go to class and learn.”

      “Right,” Kyungsoo said with a bit of a laugh.

 

      Like this, Chanyeol sounded so innocent all the time. He missed when Chanyeol would comfort him by holding him close and promising that everything would be alright while kissing him softly. This just wasn't the same, but at least Kyungsoo still had him to hold.

      “I miss you, Yeolie,” he whispered.

      “But I'm right here,” Chanyeol responded in a confused tone. Kyungsoo smiled sadly.

      “I know...” He adjusted his head on Chanyeol's shoulder, trying to get comfortable again.

      “Is my shoulder not hard?”

 

      Kyungsoo froze once more, eyes going wide. He shifted his gaze up to Chanyeol's face, trying to read anything other than neutrality on it.

      “W-What?” He asked.

      “Isn't my shoulder hard? It's made of metal. Surely your pillow would be a better option.” Kyungsoo's lip quivered and he bit back tears, snuggling against Chanyeol's shoulder again.

      “Nope. This is the best pillow there will ever be,” he stated.

      “I don't understand your preferences...”

 

      Kyungsoo laughed and wiped tears from his eyes. Shortly after, Chanyeol went into charging mode and he was left on his own again. Kyungsoo had never been so relieved to hear those words. He now completely understood why Chanyeol had always asked him every time they cuddled together. He knew he might just be getting his hopes up and Chanyeol could just be asking an innocent question unknowingly, but it felt different. This felt like how it used to feel with Chanyeol. He was still in there somewhere. There was still some hope for him after all. Kyungsoo just had to find a way to bring him back. He went to bed that night crying, but feeling more relieved than he had in days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter took me like 3-4 days to write, which ended up being so long, I split it into 2 chapters XP  So this story will have 17 chapters XD  But on that note, I did finish writing, this, so I'll try to get it all updated throughout the week, like every other day or so :3  Cuz I still gotta proofread, which takes me some time XD
> 
> Back to our idiots though...Baekhyun is making terrible decisions while Xiumin is also making bad decisions about taking care of himself and poor Kyungsoo is like the only one who can keep anyone together OTL  And hey, the dorm head returned and I decided to make him Junmyeon XD  But he won't be like super major to the story.  That Chansoo though...the angst continues for a few more chapters so hang in there lol!


	14. Chapter 14

      Xiumin looked like he was at the end of his rope when Kyungsoo met him the next day. Baekhyun still hadn't returned after 3 days, and even though Xiumin was a robot, Kyungsoo could see that he wasn't functioning properly. There was a constant, visible tremor in his body. At this rate, he was going to crash before he got through to Baekhyun.

 

      Kyungsoo, held Xiumin's wrist, looking at him worriedly. Even Chanyeol seemed afraid that Xiumin would collapse at any second. This needed to stop.

      “You haven't charged yet, have you?” Kyungsoo asked.

      “I'm fine.”

      “No you're not! You need to rest, Xiumin!”

      “Not until everything with Baekhyun gets resolved.”

      “Xiumin, we still don't know where he is. I've left him at least 10 messages over the past 2 days. We're doing all we can...but you shouldn't put yourself at risk waiting for him.”

      “I'm so worried about him, Kyungsoo...I don't think I could sleep even if I wanted to. I need him to come home...”

      “We'll get him home. I promise. For now, you need to take it easy. I'll keep calling Baekhyun. He'll pick up eventually. He _will_ come home, Xiumin.”

      “Thanks, Kyungsoo...”

 

      Kyungsoo smiled and nodded, rubbing Xiumin's arm comfortingly. He had to wonder what Baekhyun would do if he knew Xiumin was so worried about him. He would probably come home instantly to take care of Xiumin. If only he would just pick up his damn phone. He had to look at it eventually. There was no way Baekhyun would stay out for a long time. He hadn't packed for it, nor was he that irresponsible. Kyungsoo would just have to hold Xiumin together until that happened.

      “Come home with me. I don't want you waiting on your own anymore.”

      “But Baekhyun-”

      “He won't come home tonight, Xiumin. And you're not going another day without charging! I want you to come home with me so I can look out for you.”

      “I'll be fine...”

      “I don't want anything to happen to you,” Kyungsoo whispered. “We've had enough heartbreaks in the past week. Just come home with me and charge. I'll keep calling Baekhyun and try to get through to him. I promise.”

      “Alright,” Xiumin conceded. “You live close to Baekhyun too, so I can dash home if I need to...”

      “Of course. I'd even drive you over there.”

      “Thank you again, Kyungsoo.”

      “You're welcome.”

 

      Kyungsoo led Xiumin and Chanyeol back to his car and drove home. He tried to convince Xiumin to charge as soon as they got home, but Xiumin seemed adamant to stay awake in case Kyungsoo got a call from Baekhyun. It was a little bewildering to Kyungsoo to see just how hung up on Baekhyun Xiumin was. How had they managed to miscommunicate so badly to this point? It was obvious they meant the world to each other, so why couldn't either of them see it?

 

      Kyungsoo spent most of the day sitting beside Chanyeol doing homework. Xiumin would go into low energy usage mode in order to preserve his strength, but he still refused to charge. It was in the evening when he finally confronted Kyungsoo about Baekhyun again.

      “Can I use your phone, please?” He asked.

      “Yeah, why?”

      “I want to leave Baekhyun a message...”

      “Of course. Go ahead. He might respond better if you reach out to him.”

      “Thanks...”

 

      Kyungsoo handed his phone to Xiumin and he walked out of the room. He wanted to leave his message in private. He'd admitted that he was in love to Kyungsoo, but he wasn't ready to spill his heart out in a message while the other was in the room. He walked to Kyungsoo's small kitchen and leaned against the counter. He stared at Baekhyun's name in the caller ID for a few minutes, then finally tapped on it. He knew it wouldn't go through, but it still hurt when he got Baekhyun's answering machine.

      “Hey Baekhyun,” he started shakily. “It's me, Xiumin...I, um, I hope you're doing alright. And I hope you're safe somewhere...Baekhyun, we need to talk. Please. I'm so worried about you. I'm sorry I hurt you and I want to sort things out. Please come home. Please...”

 

      He hung up and stared at Baekhyun's name on the caller ID once more. A drop of water landed on his hand and he reached up to feel tears running down his cheeks. It was strange, not feeling any sense of emotional relief no matter how hard he cried. If Baekhyun were here, Xiumin could at least hold him for some sense of comfort. But he wasn't, and Xiumin was the reason why. He just wanted Baekhyun to come home.

 

      When he got back into the bedroom, Kyungsoo noticed his tears and instantly led him over to a comfortable chair in his room. He sat Xiumin down with little resistance and knelt in front of him. Xiumin handed him the phone lifelessly and Kyungsoo slipped it into his pocket. He placed his hands on Xiumin's shoulder and smiled gently.

      “We've done what we can. Rest. Baekhyun will come home soon.”

      “I miss him...”

      “Me too,” Kyungsoo sighed. “But you don't want to crash on him if he comes home, do you? So recharge for now.”

      “I think I will...Thank you, Kyungsoo.”

      “I'll let you know the instant you wake up if I hear from Baekhyun, ok?”

      “Yeah...Can I ask you something a little unrelated?”

      “Of course.”

      “How are you doing?”

      “Hm?”

      “You're having to hold all of us together, right?” Xiumin asked. Kyungsoo sighed and nodded. “You're hurting too, aren't you?”

      “I am,” Kyungsoo admitted quietly. “But my problem doesn't have a definite solution, so I'm focusing on yours instead.”

      “Thanks, I guess...Has Chanyeol, um...gotten any better?”

      “No,” Kyungsoo mumbled sadly. “I see glimpses of him, Xiumin...I think he's in there, but I don't know how to bring him out. I feel completely lost...”

      “I'm sorry. I wish I could help. I miss him a lot...He was always so much better at helping than I was.”

      “It's ok. We'll figure stuff out one thing at a time. For now, charge.”

      “Alright.”

 

      Kyungsoo stood up and watched as Xiumin's eyes slowly closed and his body went lax in the chair. He breathed a sigh of relief, one worry finally taken care of. After what happened with Chanyeol, Kyungsoo was particularly protective over both of them. The last thing Baekhyun needed was Xiumin getting hurt while he was gone. Regardless of how Baekhyun was feeling now, he would never forgive himself if something happened to Xiumin while he was away.

 

~*~

      Baekhyun sighed, staring at his phone. He'd forgotten to charge it so it had died the first night of his stay at Junmyeon's room. He'd been reluctant to plug it in and turn it on, but he knew he couldn't avoid contact forever. He was certain he probably had a million messages from Kyungsoo asking why he wasn't at school. Kyungsoo probably really needed someone to talk to right now with everything going on. Baekhyun had been a terrible friend.

 

      Baekhyun grabbed his phone from the charger and took it to Junmyeon's small bathroom, locking himself inside for some privacy. Junmyeon had classes early in the morning, so he was an early sleeper, often going to bed before Baekhyun was even remotely tired. Then again, Baekhyun's sleep schedule had always been a bit of a mess.

 

      He leaned against the door and slid down to the ground, waiting for his phone to turn on. His eyes widened when his phone finally displayed that he had dozens of missed calls and several messages. He wasn't surprised to see that they were all from Kyungsoo. Baekhyun really was the worst.

 

      He started playing the messages, expecting them to be full of angry words and judgment. Instead, most of them were Kyungsoo gently asking how Baekhyun was doing and hoping he was safe. As they went on, Kyungsoo sounded more worried and desperate, pleading for Baekhyun to come home because he was worried. Baekhyun felt guilty for making Kyungsoo feel so upset. He should have told him what was going on so he wouldn't worry.

 

      Finally, Kyungsoo's last message played, and Baekhyun almost dropped the phone when Xiumin spoke instead of Kyungsoo. He sounded so worried and desperate. It almost sounded like he was crying. Even after everything they'd said and Baekhyun walking out on him, Xiumin was still so concerned about him. Baekhyun couldn't help but worry about Xiumin as well. He had been for the past 3 days, even though he was trying desperately not to. Was he alright? What if he was scared on his own? He sounded like he was about to cry in the message. Had Xiumin been crying alone? Baekhyun couldn't stop panicking.

 

      He let out a shaky breath and dialed Kyungsoo's number. He was certain Kyungsoo would probably tear him a new one, but Baekhyun knew he deserved it. He gnawed at his lip as he waited, and he was surprised at how fast Kyungsoo answered the other line.

      “Baekhyun!?” He asked in a frantic, hopeful voice.

      “Yes? It's me...”

      “Oh thank God,” Kyungsoo breathed in relief. “How are you? Are you safe?”

      “I'm fine, Kyungsoo...”

 

      Baekhyun already felt tears gathering in his eyes. Kyungsoo was supposed to be angry at him, not worried about him. Baekhyun had messed up so much recently. Why was everyone being so nice to him?

      “I'm glad,” Kyungsoo said gently. “Do you mind if I ask where you're staying?”

      “You...probably don't want to know,” Baekhyun whispered guiltily.

      “At this point, I don't care,” Kyungsoo sighed. “As long as you're not hurt.”

      “I'm staying with Junmyeon...at the dorm.”

      “Of all the places to look, that probably makes the most sense and yet I didn't even think to check,” Kyungsoo grumbled. “Junmyeon's taking care of you?”

      “Yeah...”

      “Do you want to talk about what happened? I'm here for you, Baekhyun...”

      “Are you sure you want to deal with my baggage? You're going through a lot right now too...”

      “I'll feel a lot better if I hear from you, Baekhyun. Trust me. We've all been really worried about you.”

      “I'm sorry...I didn't think about anything and I burdened you even worse.”

      “It's ok, Baekhyun. It's all ok. I care about you and I'll always be there when you need me.”

      “Xiumin and I got in a fight...if you could call it that.”

      “What about?”

      “I wanted to comfort him,” Baekhyun whispered. “But I guess I did it in a way that upset him instead...”

      “What happened?”

      “I kissed him...not on the lips, but still. He thought I wanted to have sex with him...Is that all I ever amounted to with him? When I thought about that, I couldn't stay there any longer...”

      “I understand why you might have felt that way,” Kyungsoo said gently. “But I don't think Xiumin meant it in a hurtful way.”

      “Junmyeon said the same thing,” Baekhyun muttered. “Have you talked to Xiumin? Has he said anything about what happened...?”

      “Yeah, I've talked to him...I think you both misunderstood each other. He realized he hurt your feelings and he's been really worried about you ever since.”

      “Does he hate me?”

      “No, Baekhyun. He doesn't. He cares a lot about you.”

      “Why?”

      “You two ask the same questions, I swear,” Kyungsoo grumbled. “Why don't you do something wild and crazy and come home and ask him that yourself?”

      “He's going to hate me when I come back,” Baekhyun whimpered.

      “Baekhyun...You don't even realize how much he cares about you.”

      “What do you mean?”

      “He's been up waiting for you to come home since the night you left. He would wait for you at school everyday and ask me if I'd seen you. He wouldn't even go into charging mode in case you came home in the middle of the night.”

      “Are you serious? Is he ok? How is he still awake?”

      “I think he was converting food into fuel. He mentioned something like that...I got worried so I made him come home with me and Chanyeol. He's charging right now, thankfully.”

      “Thank you for looking out for him...” Baekhyun whispered. “I didn't know he would do something like that...”

      “You don't realize how much we all love you, Baekhyun. I know you still struggle with self-worth. Xiumin knows that now too. You mean so much to us though, and neither of us want you to be struggling on your own. Come home, Baekhyun...please.”

      “Kyungsoo, I think I made a pretty big mistake too...One that Xiumin might not forgive...What should I do?”

      “Be honest with him. About everything. Listen to what he has to say as well. This isn't going to get resolved ever if you don't make an effort.”

      “I'm so scared...”

      “He is too. It'll be ok, Baekhyun. I promise.”

      “I miss my bed,” Baekhyun said quietly, wiping tears from his eyes. “I miss my apartment...and I miss you and Xiumin.”

      “We miss you too. Come home, Baekhyun.”

      “Ok...”

 

      Kyungsoo smiled, relaxing now that Baekhyun had said he would come home. They talked a bit more about when he might get home and other unrelated things. Mostly, Kyungsoo just wanted to keep talking to Baekhyun. He'd been so worried about him the past 3 days, it was nice to finally hear his voice again. Sadly, it was pretty late in the night, so they were both exhausted. They ended up saying goodnight to each other, with promises to talk again after Baekhyun had gone home. Kyungsoo could only pray that Baekhyun and Xiumin would be able to be honest with each other.

 

~*~

      The instant Xiumin woke up the following morning, Kyungsoo told him that he'd heard back from Baekhyun and he would be coming home later that day. Xiumin had jumped to his feet, anxious to get home, but as soon as he realized that Baekhyun was probably still upset with him, he began to panic. Kyungsoo placed his hands on Xiumin's shoulders and gave them a firm squeeze, promising him that everything would be ok as long as Xiumin was completely honest with Baekhyun and told him everything he'd told Kyungsoo. That was Xiumin's general plan, since keeping his feelings from Baekhyun had landed them in this mess. He was still nervous though.

 

      Xiumin went straight home from Kyungsoo's house and spent the rest of the morning pacing throughout the apartment, anxiously waiting for Baekhyun to return. It was the afternoon when Xiumin finally heard someone unlock the door and step inside. He rushed to the entryway just in time to come face to face with Baekhyun.

      “Baekhyun!” He gasped. “H-Hey...”

 

      Baekhyun nodded slightly and rushed past him, not looking him in the eyes. Xiumin bit his lip nervously. This already wasn't boding well, but he needed to try. He cared too much about Baekhyun for them to go back to the uncomfortable silences they seemed to always get locked into. He followed Baekhyun into his room and watched the latter set his backpack down with a sigh.

      “Are you ok?” Xiumin asked next. Again, Baekhyun simply nodded. “Will you talk to me?”

 

      Baekhyun sighed and turned to look at him. He didn't seem annoyed, but he looked exhausted. Judging by how his hand was unconsciously clinging to the hem of his shirt, he was probably just as nervous as Xiumin was.

      “I'm sorry,” Xiumin whispered.

      “I wasn't trying to sleep with you that night,” Baekhyun said weakly.

      “I know. I'm sorry for misunderstanding.”

      “It doesn't matter,” Baekhyun sighed, looking defeated. “Let's just go back to the way we were before, alright?”

      “I don't want that!” Xiumin shouted, surprising both himself and Baekhyun.

      “W-Why?” Baekhyun asked. “Do you not...want to be with me anymore?”

      “No, Baekhyun. That's not what I mean. I don't want to go back to the way we were before because I love you. I have for a while, and I'm sick of hiding it.”

 

      He'd finally said it. He couldn't take it back anymore. If Baekhyun rejected him, then that was it. Baekhyun stared at him, mouth gaping, as if he'd never expected those words to come out of Xiumin's mouth. Eventually, Baekhyun's brow furrowed and he shook his head.

      “You can't love me...” He muttered, eyes watering.

      “Why can't I?” Xiumin asked, sounding both irritated and worried.

      “Because I'm a slut...No one in their right mind would love me...”

      “That doesn't matter to me, Baekhyun. And you're not a slut. I hate it when you call yourself that. I still love you, regardless of whatever your past is.”

      “You don't get it!” Baekhyun cried, tears running down his cheeks. “Where do you think I was, Xiumin? I slept with someone so they would let me stay with them! Why the fuck would you want someone like me!?”

      “I don't care if you slept with someone!” Xiumin shouted back. “I don't care, Baekhyun. I still love you and I still want you. You did that because I pushed you away and hurt you, right? You did it to get away from me. And I know it hurt you more than anything. That's why you're saying all this shit about yourself...”

      “I still shouldn't have slept with someone...and you should still be angry at me.”

      “You regret it, so why would I be angry with you? It won't help anything, and I don't want to be angry with you. I just want to be with you...I want to love you, Baekhyun.”

      “Why...? What makes me so worth it?”

      “So many things! You're kind. You've never treated me like absolute shit despite how many times I've been cold to you. You're beautiful...I just love being with you. But I was so afraid to act on how I felt...”

 

      Baekhyun stared at him skeptically, and Xiumin hated it. Why on earth was it that even when he was spilling his heart to Baekhyun, he still doubted him? Was it because Baekhyun couldn't accept that someone would love him? Or was it because he couldn't accept Xiumin's love because of what he was? Xiumin didn't know how else to prove himself to Baekhyun. If he was going to turn him down and break Xiumin's heart, he needed to just get it over with already.

      “What about me then?” Xiumin asked. “You kissed me that night. You only do that with people you love, right? That's why you were so hurt. Do you love me Baekhyun?”

      “I do...” Baekhyun whispered.

      “Then how can you like me? How can you like something that's nothing more than scraps of metal and wires that makes you cry so much!?”

      “You're not just metal and wire!” Baekhyun snapped back.

      “How do you know? This could be me for the rest of my life, Baekhyun! My body could die at any moment and I could be stuck like this forever! I feel like a fucking object, Baekhyun. I'm nothing but cold metal and synthetic skin. Who would want to love something like that? No one. I'm barely human, so why would you choose me over someone who's flesh and blood? I'm hardly worth loving...”

      “Is that how you really feel?” Baekhyun asked, hurt that Xiumin would even say such a thing.

      “Yes...”

      “You're human, Xiumin. You always have been and always will be.”

      “It doesn't mean I don't hate myself, Baekhyun. It doesn't mean I don't feel insecure. It doesn't mean I don't get scared that my only worth to you is as a robot of convenience...and I'm not saying that because I doubt your intentions. I doubt myself.”

      “I've loved you for so long,” Baekhyun said gently, taking a step forward and cautiously grabbing Xiumin's wrist. “I loved you before I even knew the truth about you. Whether you were flesh or metal has never mattered to me.”

 

      Tears rolled down Xiumin's cheeks and he wiped at them with the hand that Baekhyun wasn't holding. Baekhyun always said the things Xiumin needed to hear the most. He wished he would have been honest with Baekhyun much sooner. They probably could have avoided a lot of heartbreak if they'd both realized they loved each other earlier on.

      “Then why?” Xiumin asked in a shaky voice. “Why can you love me despite my past and my body, but I can't love you? Why can't you believe what I'm saying?”

      “I don't know...” Baekhyun mumbled. “I guess I don't feel worth loving either.”

      “You're worth everything to me. I love you so much, Baekhyun. If you can love and believe in a robot with a human soul attached to it, then surely you can believe that that soul loves you as well, can't you?”

      “You really love me?” Baekhyun asked shakily, his own eyes filled with tears.

      “I love you more than anything.”

 

      Baekhyun broke down crying, leaning his forehead on Xiumin's shoulder. Xiumin slid his wrist out from Baekhyun's grasp and wrapped his arms around him, hugging him close. Baekhyun's hands clung to the back of Xiumin's shirt and he only cried harder.

      “I love you,” he sobbed. “I love you...I'm sorry!”

      “It's ok,” Xiumin soothed. “Everything's ok now. I love you too.”

 

      Baekhyun's cries got even louder, to Xiumin's dismay. Baekhyun held him even tighter, repeating over and over again how much he loved Xiumin and how sorry he was. Xiumin kissed his temple and continued to reassure Baekhyun that he loved him too. He was still crying as well, though he couldn't really feel it other than seeing tears drop from his cheeks. He was so grateful that Baekhyun was finally home. They'd worked everything out as far as Xiumin could tell, so maybe they could move on now.

 

      Following their mutual crying fest, Xiumin decided that Baekhyun needed something to eat. They headed to the kitchen and cooked in silence, but it was a different kind of silence. Whenever their eyes met, they exchanged bashful smiles, and hands would wander whenever they were close to each other. They sat beside each other as they ate, Xiumin still needing the extra fuel to recover from going so long without charging. When Baekhyun finished his food, he tested the waters and leaned his head on Xiumin's shoulder cautiously. Xiumin placed a kiss on his head and wrapped his arm around his torso.

      “Do you wanna watch a movie?” He asked.

      “Hm?”

      “A movie. We haven't watched one together in a while...I thought it might cheer you up a bit.”

      “Yeah, I'd like that,” Baekhyun agreed softly.

 

      Xiumin got up and put their dishes in the sink. After that, he led Baekhyun back to his room. Baekhyun got his laptop set up on the bed while Xiumin picked out the movie. They cuddled together like nothing was wrong and like Baekhyun hadn't just disappeared for 3 days. It was strange, and Baekhyun couldn't help but fear that they were brushing everything that happened off too easily. He still couldn't understand why Xiumin hardly cared that he'd slept with someone while he was gone. He was trying to believe everything that Xiumin had said, but a voice in the back of his mind kept telling him that Xiumin was actually angry and he was only being kind because he didn't want to fight with Baekhyun anymore.

 

      His worries plagued his mind for much of the movie. Hugging Xiumin close and feeling the latter's arm around his waist the entire time helped put his mind a little more at ease. Why was it so hard for Baekhyun to just calm down and accept that this was ok? That this was reality and not some wonderful dream. As the credits played, Xiumin shifted so that he could look at Baekhyun better.

      “What's wrong?” He asked softly.

      “What?”

      “You didn't laugh at a part you always laugh at. You're thinking too much, aren't you?”

      “I just...” Baekhyun started. “I don't understand. How can you be so ok with everything that just happened. Everything that I did...”

      “You mean sleeping with someone else?” Xiumin asked. Baekhyun nodded.

      “And leaving you alone for 3 days when you needed emotional support...” He mumbled. Xiumin sighed and snuggled Baekhyun closer.

      “It's not like I'm happy you slept with someone else, but what am I going to be mad about? We weren't dating and we never really clarified our relationship, so it wasn't like you had forced yourself into a situation where you had to be loyal to me.”

      “I should have been, though...”

      “No 'should's. It's all in the past and you're only making yourself feel guilty. I'm not mad about what you did because I understand why you did it and it wasn't like you were betraying me in doing so. Now that we've talked about how we both feel though, I'd like things to be different.”

      “How so?”

      “I want to date you. I want us to be exclusive from here on.”

      “I can do that,” Baekhyun sighed happily. “You're really not mad at me for leaving you alone? Kyungsoo said you didn't charge while I was gone...Are you alright?”

      “I'm fine,” Xiumin reassured. “I charged last night and I've been using food to replenish some of my energy. And I'm not mad that you left. I'm mostly sorry that I upset you so badly that you left in the first place. Besides, I left you without so much as a note before too. We're even now.”

      “I wasn't trying to get even...”

      “I know. But now I know how it feels, and I'm sorry I ever did that to you. I want us to be honest with each other and tell each other things. For real this time. Can we do that?”

      “Yeah.”

      “And you'll be my boyfriend?” Xiumin asked.

      “Didn't we say that already?”

      “I said I wanted that, but you have yet to say for sure whether you'll be my boyfriend or not.”

      “I'll be your boyfriend if you be mine,” Baekhyun singsonged. Xiumin leaned forward and kissed him on the lips.

      “Good.”

 

      Baekhyun let out a contented sigh and nestled closer to Xiumin. Between all his worrying and crying the last 3 days, he really hadn't slept that well. He could feel sleep creeping up on him as his eyes burned. He felt Xiumin shift their position so they were laying down facing each other. Baekhyun stared tiredly into Xiumin's eyes.

      “You should sleep,” Xiumin urged. “You look exhausted.”

      “You should charge. I don't want anything bad to happen to you.”

      “I will if you promise you'll be here when I wake up.”

      “I will,” Baekhyun said with a smile. He leaned forward and kissed the other on the lips. “I love you, Xiumin.”

      “Minseok...Call me Minseok.”

      “Are you sure?”

      “Positive.”

      “Alright...Goodnight, Minseok. I love you.”

      “I love you too, Baekhyun.”

 

      Baekhyun watched as Minseok's eyes slowly closed and he went into charging mode. He ran his fingers through Minseok's hair, a smile permanently fixed on his face. He'd expected to come home to another fight, not a love confession. He was going to treasure Minseok. He was the first person to love Baekhyun regardless of everything that had happened. He would never take that for granted.

 

      He rolled over and checked the time on his phone. It wasn't super late at night, but Baekhyun felt exhausted. He had to call Kyungsoo and check in with him though. He hadn't talked to him since the night before, and he knew Kyungsoo was a worrier. He wasn't too surprised that the other line picked up pretty quickly.

      “Hello?” Kyungsoo asked tiredly.

      “Were you getting ready to sleep? You sound tired.”

      “I'm laying in bed but I wasn't sleeping. How are you? Did you talk to Xiumin?”

      “Yeah, we talked,” Baekhyun said gently. “He said he loves me, Kyungsoo.”

      “I'm glad. He told me he loved you when you disappeared. I'm glad you finally got to hear it.”

      “I love him so much, Soo,” Baekhyun whispered. “I didn't think he would ever love me...but he told me he didn't care about anything that had happened and that he loved me and wanted to be with me.”

      “I'm happy for you. So you told him you loved him, right?”

      “Yeah. We promised to be honest with each other. We're dating now, Soo.”

      “I'm glad to hear that. I'm so happy for you Baekhyun, I really am.”

      “I love him so much, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun repeated again, tears falling down his cheeks. “I love him so much and he loves me.”

      “Mhm.”

 

      Baekhyun spent the rest of the phone call crying quietly, this time out of happiness, relief, and a bit of disbelief, and repeating over and over how much he loved Xiumin and how much the latter loved him back. Kyungsoo listened with a smile, unconsciously hugging Chanyeol closer. He was happy for Baekhyun. He really was. But there was still that lingering fear that he'd ruined his own perfect relationship forever. He wanted to cry about how much he loved Chanyeol as well. This wasn't his moment though, so he bit back his worries and his fears. Instead, he listened to Baekhyun ramble on and on until they both fell asleep on the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD THEY FINALLY SAID THEY LOVED EACH OTHER OTL Was that a satisfying chapter after all the angst and stupidity?  I hope so, because I rather liked this chapter and it was fun to write too (my outline for this chapter alone was a whole page because I spent so much time planning out conversations and everything).  We still gotta deal with poor Chansoo, but at least Xiubaek finally came clean about everything and ended on a cuddly note.  I'll try to update again in a day or two since I do wanna get this story finished up soon XD  Just 3 more chapters to go!!!


	15. Chapter 15

      Following Baekhyun's return home, not much seemed to change from their previous routine. They would still head out for work and school together, Minseok would still meet Baekhyun after his class with a drink in hand and they would head home together, Baekhyun would work some evenings, and when he was off they would curl up together and either watch movies or read and do homework. The biggest change was telling each other they loved each other and the fluttery and anxious feelings that came along with those words.

 

      It was funny how many times Baekhyun had told Minseok he wanted them to be honest with each other, yet they'd kept so much cooped up. It was still really hard to suddenly be so open about his anxieties with Minseok. More often than not, Baekhyun kept them to himself, still silently worrying. He knew Minseok did the same thing. The difference this time around was when they noticed the other was very obviously upset about something, they would always ask about it. It was strange how much easier it was to talk about how they were feeling when the other brought it up first.

 

      Baekhyun still had his moments where he couldn't believe Minseok actually liked him and wanted to be with him. He'd never really been in a relationship like this, and he truthfully didn't know what to do. He knew Minseok wasn't judgmental and had already seen Baekhyun in some rather unflattering instances, but he still couldn't help but want to look good in Minseok's eyes. He was suddenly so conscious of even the simplest things, like what he was wearing and how he ate. He hated the voice in the back of his head constantly telling him that if he messed up, Minseok wouldn't love him anymore.

 

      Minseok was always so good at reading Baekhyun though. When he noticed Baekhyun fretting about something, he would always intervene, saying something funny or encouraging that would instantly set Baekhyun's mind at ease. The conversation would always end with Minseok hugging him and telling him he loved him just the way he was. Baekhyun didn't understand how someone could have so much undying affection for _him_ of all people, but he would be damned if he took it for granted.

 

      He wished he could be the same way for Minseok. While Baekhyun was pretty good at reading him, Minseok was much softer spoken about his own feelings, especially since they'd started going out. He always made it clear to Baekhyun that he loved him, but when he was worrying about something, he was a lot less obvious about it than Baekhyun was. More often than not, it was the complete silence that informed Baekhyun that Minseok was worrying about something. It was usually a similar fear that he wasn't good enough for Baekhyun or that he might be this way forever. Baekhyun could easily soothe the first worry, but there was little he could say to put Minseok's mind at ease about the state of his body. He did what he could though to make sure Minseok felt loved regardless.

 

      Baekhyun's return to school was fairly exhausting. Even with just missing a couple of days, he was behind on school and he needed to work as well since he'd called in sick, otherwise he'd be hurting for money. It was hard living paycheck to paycheck while going to school full-time. Still, it was nice to be back on campus. He was happy to see Kyungsoo and Chanyeol for lunch again, though everything with Chanyeol was still a pretty rough subject. Kyungsoo hadn't really talked about it extensively with Baekhyun, so this lunch he finally decided to ask about how Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were doing. The deep sigh from Kyungsoo didn't bode well.

      “I see glimpses of him, Baekhyun. I swear he's still there...but I don't know what to do.”

      “Minseok woke up when he and I had sex apparently...”

      “Chanyeol wasn't ready to have sex yet. I can't do that. It would hurt him even more.”

      “I'm not saying you have to do that. But it was pretty emotional for both of us. Is there anything that you used to do with Chanyeol that was really emotional?”

      “We laid in bed together snuggling at night. I don't know...We did everything together, Baekhyun. And I've been doing everything together with him and nothing has worked. What if I'm just projecting and he's really gone? Baekhyun, I can't take much more of this...”

      “Maybe there was a place you had really important dates or something? Maybe you could just tell him about how everything used to be between you two...”

      “If it were that easy, he'd be back already.”

      “I'm just trying to help,” Baekhyun pouted. Kyungsoo sighed and shook his head.

      “I know you are. I'm just starting to lose hope...What if Chanyeol doesn't want to come back to me?”

      “Come on, Kyungsoo. You know that's not true. He loved you so much.”

      “But then I hurt him...He probably never wants to see me again.”

      “Have you taken him back to the place where you two fought?” Baekhyun asked cautiously.

      “No...I don't want him to have a bad awakening.”

      “But it might be the only way,” Baekhyun stated. “Just because he has a bad memory there doesn't mean it has to be a bad awakening. Maybe he's waiting for you, Kyungsoo. Maybe he's waiting for you to settle everything that was going on before he got hurt.”

      “You think...?” Kyungsoo asked, side-eyeing Chanyeol. The latter just looked at him with a curious expression.

      “It's worth a try, isn't it?” Baekhyun asked.

      “I guess...”

 

      Baekhyun smiled and was about to say something else when he suddenly sneezed. He groaned, sniffling a bit afterwards. He'd been staying up late between working and catching up on homework and a cold had been slowly claiming half the people in his classes. He had been trying to take care of himself, but he always managed to catch whatever nasty sickness came about during the school year. Kyungsoo frowned at him.

      “Are you getting sick?”

      “Nah, my nose just itched a bit,” Baekhyun lied. Kyungsoo raised his eyebrow at him.

      “You should still be careful. The last thing we need is for you to collapse from a cold and miss even more school.”

      “I can't miss anymore school,” Baekhyun sighed. “I'm still catching up from the days I already missed.”

      “Take care of yourself, alright? School and work are important, but so is your health.”

      “I know, I know...”

 

      Kyungsoo proceeded to worry over him for the rest of their lunch. That seemed to be his solution for not worrying over Chanyeol. Baekhyun didn't really mind. He liked the attention and he could already feel a headache coming on. The rest of his school day went by unbearably slowly.

 

      Unfortunately for Baekhyun, his immune system really hated him and he ended up coming down with the cold the very next day. Minseok tried to convince him to stay home, but Baekhyun was determined. He wore a face mask out of common courtesy, but he pushed himself through the rest of the week of school and work. By Friday night, however, he had quite a fever and he was glad he didn't have to work that Saturday. There was no way Minseok would have even let him leave the house anyway.

 

      As soon as Baekhyun walked in the door, Minseok had his arms wrapped around him and was leading him to his bedroom. He'd already pulled out comfortable clothes for Baekhyun to change into and had started heating up some soup. Baekhyun smiled when he saw not one but two tissue boxes sitting on his bedside table with a trashcan beside it and extra pillows and blankets on his bed that Minseok had pulled off the couch and from the closet for him to sleep with. Minseok really was an angel.

 

      As soon as Baekhyun had changed into his clothes, Minseok ushered him into bed, propping him up on some pillows so he could breathe easier and tucking him under several blankets. After that, he put Baekhyun's old clothes in the hamper and rushed off to the kitchen to get him dinner. Baekhyun had almost fallen asleep by the time Minseok returned with a tray of food. He smiled as Minseok placed the tray above his lap. He'd never gotten this kind of treatment when he was sick. He felt a little bad for feeling so spoiled.

 

      Minseok sat on the bed and watched expectantly as Baekhyun nibbled at his food. His bangs were a little sweaty, most likely from his fever. Minseok reached over and gently brushed them away from his forehead, fingers lingering on Baekhyun's skin. If he could feel heat, he was sure Baekhyun's skin would be really hot.

      “You pushed yourself too hard,” Minseok said softly. Baekhyun simply shrugged.

      “I always get sick when there's a cold going around campus.”

      “That doesn't make overworking yourself any less of a problem.”

      “I'll be fine,” Baekhyun whispered, feeling a bit flustered because Minseok was being so gentle as of late, especially now that he was sick. “I don't have to work tomorrow so I can rest.”

      “You better,” Minseok threatened, but there was more concern in his voice than anything. “I'll take care of you, ok?”

 

      He stood up and leaned forward, pressing a kiss onto Baekhyun's forehead. The latter's cheeks flushed even more than they already were and he stared down at his lap, trying to get his heart to calm down. Something else that had happened since they started going out was Minseok made Baekhyun's heart race even more often than he had before. Baekhyun wondered if it would send him to an early grave.

 

      Minseok took his tray when he was done and brought it to the kitchen to wash. He came back later with a thermometer and took Baekhyun's temperature, sighing when his fever was pretty high. Baekhyun probably felt a lot worse than he was letting on. His nose was already red and chapped from blowing it so much. When Baekhyun reached over to grab a tissue and blow his nose yet again, Minseok frowned and decided to return the thermometer to the bathroom. When he came back to the bed he sat down beside Baekhyun and ran his fingers through his hair.

      “Do you want to watch something on TV or do you want to sleep?”

      “I want to cuddle,” Baekhyun mumbled, looking up at him with a pout.

 

      He always was a bit more daring when he was mildly delirious with a fever. Minseok smiled and crawled under the covers, scooting closer to Baekhyun. Immediately, Baekhyun wrapped his arms around Minseok's waist, snuggling so close his leg was basically on top of Minseok. He laid his head tiredly on Minseok's chest and let out a content sigh.

      “I'm glad you can't get sick like this,” Baekhyun mumbled. “I would hate not being able to hold you while I'm sick...” Minseok laughed gently.

      “I'd still hold you, even if I were human. We'd just get sick together and suffer together.”

      “I don't want that either,” Baekhyun whined.

 

      Minseok smiled and kissed Baekhyun on the top of the head. He stared forward, his mind wandering to thoughts of being human again. He knew Baekhyun loved him, regardless of his body, but he was still having anxieties over everything. Even going back to his human body was starting to scare him. After all, when he went back, he would be completely different. His body would be weak and scarred. He wouldn't be able to take care of Baekhyun like this. _He'd_ be the one that would need constant attention and help while he readjusted and continued to heal and go through therapy. It would be asking Baekhyun a lot to go through all of that with him. Baekhyun was already struggling to make ends meet. Minseok didn't want to burden him with having to take care of him on top of everything. What worried him even more was whether Baekhyun would actually be able to stand looking at him covered in scars and thin and frail. His metal body was modeled after who he was before the crash. He would never look this way again.

 

      Baekhyun whined suddenly and snuggled closer, rubbing Minseok's chest with one of his hands. Minseok glanced down, wondering if Baekhyun had said something and he'd missed it while off in his own head.

      “What's wrong?” Minseok asked gently.

      “I could ask you the same thing,” Baekhyun muttered. “You got really quiet and were staring off into space. Do you want to do something else?”

      “No, Baekhyun. I want to hold you. I always do.”

      “Then what's wrong?”

      “I was just...thinking about some things.”

      “Like what?”

      “Going back to my human body.”

      “You'll get there, Minseok. You will!”

      “That's sorta what I'm worried about...”

      “What do you mean?” Baekhyun asked, his face contorting a bit in confusion. Minseok smiled at the sight and snuggled him closer, wanting the support.

      “All this time, I've been focused on how dissatisfied I am with my metal body...but my human body is going to be completely different as well.”

      “Because of the crash?” Baekhyun asked. Minseok nodded solemnly.

      “I'm going to be really weak, Baekhyun...And there are parts of me that may never recover fully. I'll never look like my old self again. I'm kinda scared to face that.”

      “You'll be just fine,” Baekhyun soothed. “Whatever happens, you'll learn to adjust. And I'll be with you to help you.”

      “I'm not going to be able to do much for myself, Baekhyun. I might not be able to stand at first. You'd...You'd have to do a lot to take care of me.”

      “That's fine. I'd happily take care of you. That's all you've done for me up until now. It's my turn to help you.” He leaned forward and kissed Minseok's neck.

      “I just don't want to be a burden.”

      “You will never be a burden to me,” Baekhyun said, suddenly very serious. “I love you, Minseok. I don't think I'd be able to adjust to life without you now. And if you need help, I want to be the one that does it. Don't worry about burdening me. I love you so much I would help you even if you told me not to.”

      “Thank you, Baekhyun...”

      “Was that all you were worried about or is there more?” Baekhyun asked, placing a kiss on Minseok's jaw this time.

      “There's more,” he sighed.

      “Tell me.”

      “I don't know how my body will look. After the crash, I've only really seen glimpses of it bandaged up in a hospital bed.”

      “Mhm,” Baekhyun hummed, waiting for more.

      “I'm going to have so many scars. What if I...What if it's bad?”

      “It would still be ok,” Baekhyun comforted. “Your body survived something traumatic. Of course it's going to have scars. If it bothered you so much, there are different things we could look into. Like forms of scar reduction or maybe even tattoos.”

      “What about you?” Minseok asked nervously.

      “What about me?”

      “I don't want to look ugly in your eyes...” Minseok mumbled shyly. Baekhyun smiled, realizing Minseok felt the same anxiety about his appearance that Baekhyun did, though Minseok's was probably far more reasonable.

      “You'll always be beautiful to me,” Baekhyun whispered, nuzzling into his chest. “I don't demand that you have a perfect body. I'd find you attractive regardless of how you looked.”

      “You'd still want to have sex with me and look at me without cringing?”

      “Minseok...You're dating a sex fiend. I'm always going to want to have sex with you,” Baekhyun laughed. This got a smile out of Minseok as well. “I can't wait til you go back to your body, because I'm going to get to experience everything with you all over again. You'll be able to feel everything. That's what I care about the most.”

      “Will you be there with me the day I go back?” Minseok asked, his voice shaking as tears gathered in his eyes. “I don't want to do it alone.”

      “Of course I'll be there. I promise. I'll be there to help you through your therapy. I'll be there when you go back to work as a new man. I'll be there for everything.”

      “Thank you, Baekhyun...I love you.”

      “I love you too, Minseok. So, so much.”

      “We should be focusing on you right now, not my problems...I'm sorry.”

      “I'm fine,” Baekhyun sighed happily. “I have a boyfriend to hug and take care of me. Your feelings are important too, remember? I don't want you to keep it from me when you're feeling those kinds of things. That's why everything got so complicated before. I don't want to hide my feelings from you either.”

      “I'll try...I just don't want you worrying about me.”

      “I'm not worried. I know you're strong and you'll pull through just fine. But if you need a shoulder to lean on, both of mine are available~” Minseok laughed and hugged Baekhyun closer.

      “Thank you, Baekhyun. For everything.”

      “And thank you for everything,” Baekhyun replied softly.

 

      Minseok smiled and rolled over slightly so that he was above Baekhyun. He leaned down and connected their lips, earning a surprised gasp from Baekhyun. Slowly, Baekhyun's eyes shut and he returned the kiss. When Minseok broke apart, he had a smirk on his face.

      “I won't get sick, so I figured I might as well still kiss you.”

      “Much appreciated,” Baekhyun laughed.

 

      Minseok resumed his action, a bit more passionately this time. After a short period, however, Baekhyun was smacking his chest lightly and whining into his mouth. Minseok pulled away and glanced down at him curiously.

      “You ok?” He asked. Baekhyun's pout grew and he sniffled.

      “I can't breathe through my nose, so kissing is hard...”

 

      Minseok broke down laughing, earning a smack on the chest from Baekhyun. He quickly rolled back over, pulling Baekhyun so that he was laying on Minseok's chest again. He rubbed his back and pressed a kiss onto his hair.

      “I guess we'll settle for cuddling then,” Minseok singsonged. Baekhyun smiled and wrapped his arms around Minseok's waist.

      “I love you, Minseok.”

      “I love you too, Baekhyun. Get better soon, ok?”

 

      Baekhyun hummed and snuggled closer. His eyelids felt really heavy, but he didn't want to go to sleep. He was enjoying being with Minseok too much. Still, with a fever and the previous week of exhaustion, he couldn't fight off sleep for more than a few minutes. The entire time he slept, Minseok held him in his arms, kissing his head every now and then. Baekhyun wasn't sure what he did in his life to earn him this kind of treatment, but he hoped it never ended. He really loved Minseok.

 

~*~

      Kyungsoo sighed nervously, going over his plan once more in his head. He didn't expect it to actually work, but Baekhyun had been right when he said that he had nothing to lose telling Chanyeol about their fight. The robot in question had been sitting at Kyungsoo's desk, finishing up writing an essay on his laptop. Kyungsoo had gone to Chanyeol's apartment to pick up some of his things to make Chanyeol's stay at his place easier. The robot was very diligent about getting work done on time, whereas Chanyeol had always been a bit of a procrastinator with it. Kyungsoo wasn't used to having to wait for Chanyeol to finish his work to even suggest going somewhere. Finally, he heard the laptop shut and he closed his eyes. It was time. He walked into the room, stopping a few feet from Chanyeol.

      “Hey...You done?” He asked quietly. Chanyeol nodded and looked over at him.

      “Yes. Is there something you need?”

      “I, um...I wanted to take you to some places,” Kyungsoo mumbled.

      “Where?”

      “It's a secret until we get there...”

      “Is something going on?”

      “No, I just...I really want to go to these places with you, so can we?”

      “Of course. Let me get ready.”

 

      Kyungsoo sighed in relief and watched as Chanyeol put on one of his old hoodies and some shoes. Seeing him wear the hoodie flooded Kyungsoo with nostalgia. He'd always loved snuggling Chanyeol or even just putting his hands in the pocket of the hoodie while they walked together outside. He missed Chanyeol so much.

 

      When Chanyeol was ready, they left Kyungsoo's apartment and got in his car. It was after dark, so Chanyeol was fairly surprised when Kyungsoo drove all the way to campus. Still, he remained silent when Kyungsoo asked him to follow him. Eventually they stopped at the building where their class they had together was held. Kyungsoo looked at Chanyeol sadly, then pointed at the staircase leading into the building.

      “That was where you and I first met each other.”

      “It was? I have no recollection of such an event,” Chanyeol stated. Kyungsoo smiled sadly.

      “I know you don't, but that's where we met, trust me.” Chanyeol nodded slowly. “You thought you were late to class, so you rushed up the stairs and ended up knocking all my books out of my hands. You were a panicked mess but you still ended up helping me pick everything up,” Kyungsoo explained fondly. “Then we ended up in the same class. When you realized you'd read your clock wrong and you were early, you were so embarrassed and wouldn't stop apologizing to me. We ended up sitting together in class after that.”

      “I really did something like that?”

      “Mhm. I have more to show you as well.”

 

      Chanyeol followed in silence once more. It was like he was in deep thought, and Kyungsoo wondered if he was trying to recall memories that weren't saved in his system. Those memories had belonged to Chanyeol's soul after all.

 

      They got in Kyungsoo's car and he drove them to a small diner a short distance from school. It was still open, but Kyungsoo didn't bother going inside. Instead, he sat on the front of his car and pointed to the patio side of the restaurant.

      “That was where you confessed to me.”

      “Confessed what?”

      “That you loved me,” Kyungsoo muttered sadly. “We'd been going out to eat and using homework as an excuse to see each other more often, but we were both flirting. I'd been too afraid to say those three words to you first. You were the first guy I ever wanted to really have a relationship with, and I'd been pretty wild in the past, so I didn't know how to settle down properly yet. But you told me you loved me and that was all I ever needed to hear. I said those words back so easily, and we started dating after that.”

      “You love me?”

      “Yes. I love you a lot.”

      “Why don't I feel any of this?” Chanyeol asked, placing a hand on his chest. Tears gathered in Kyungsoo's eyes.

      “I don't know,” he whispered. “But there's one last place I need to show you.”

 

      Kyungsoo got off the hood of his car and got back in the driver's seat. Chanyeol slowly got in as well, his face in a constant confused expression. Kyungsoo had a feeling this was hurting both of them more than it was helping anything. Still, there was one last place he could think of to bring Chanyeol, and he absolutely dreaded it.

 

      They drove in silence and Kyungsoo finally parked beside the park where everything went to hell. He got out of the car and waited for Chanyeol to do the same before taking his hand and leading him to the bench where they'd fought. Kyungsoo paused for a moment, tears gathering in his eyes as he wished he could take everything back about that night and the night that Chanyeol had gotten hurt. If only he'd stayed with Chanyeol and hadn't gotten mad.

      “What is this place?” Chanyeol asked softly, his hand tightening on Kyungsoo's for some reason.

      “This is where I hurt you and ultimately lost you,” Kyungsoo explained.

      “What happened?”

      “You told me you were a robot here. You tried to tell me about your past, but I was too angry to listen. I stormed off and left you alone...Then when we were supposed to finally talk here, you got hurt. It's my fault you're like this...It's my fault you're gone.”

 

      Kyungsoo's shoulders shook and finally the tears spilled over. This was pointless. Chanyeol wasn't coming back from talking about any of this. He probably wasn't coming back at all. Kyungsoo was just holding on too tightly to someone that was no longer there. And as he realized that, it felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

      “I can't do this anymore, Yeol,” he whimpered.

 

      He fell to his knees, sobbing loudly into his hands. He didn't want to let go, but this hurt too much. If Chanyeol really wasn't going to come back, Kyungsoo couldn't torture himself holding on to something that would never be him again. His shoulders shook as he cried harder. If Chanyeol had seen him like this, he would have been on his knees, frantically trying to calm him down in seconds.

 

      To his surprise, Chanyeol did kneel down beside him a few minutes later, and gently wrapped his arms around him. He was pressed against Chanyeol's chest and felt the latter rock him slightly, shushing him and attempting to stop him from crying. It only made Kyungsoo cry harder though because _this_ was so Chanyeol-like, not like the robot he'd been with up until now.

      “Come back, Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo sobbed. “I don't want to see you like this anymore. I need you,” he cried.

      “I'm right here,” Chanyeol whispered into Kyungsoo's hair. “I'm not going anywhere.”

      “I miss you,” Kyungsoo wailed. “I'm sorry I hurt you, so please come back.”

 

      Chanyeol pulled away and cupped Kyungsoo's cheeks in his hands, wiping away the tears. He smiled gently, something the robot hadn't done since the accident.

      “Kyungsoo, I'm right here.”

      “W-What?”

      “I'm right here,” Chanyeol repeated, smiling just a bit wider. Fresh tears gathered in Kyungsoo's eyes.

      “C-Chanyeol...?”

      “Yep.”

 

      Chanyeol leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together. Kyungsoo stared into Chanyeol's eyes, noting how different they seemed. They seemed so full of emotion, so alive, compared to how they'd been not even a half an hour ago. Was he seeing things or was this real?

      “You're back...?”

      “I'm back.”

 

      Kyungsoo broke down crying once more, wrapping his arms around Chanyeol's neck and sobbing into his chest. He'd never cried this hard or this loudly before, but Chanyeol didn't try to quiet him. Instead he just rubbed his back and repeated over and over again that it was alright.

      “I thought you were gone forever,” Kyungsoo whimpered.

      “I could never leave you.”

      “But you got hurt...and I was so cruel to you. I thought you wouldn't want to come back to me.”

      “I love you,” Chanyeol said simply, looking down into Kyungsoo's eyes. “I never stopped.”

      “I-I love you too,” Kyungsoo said, his voice shaking from how much he'd cried. “Please forgive me.”

      “I already have. I know you're sorry, so stop beating yourself up, ok? I don't want to see you cry like this.”

      “H-How did you come back? I don't understand. I really thought...”

      “You think I can just sit by and watch you like this?” Chanyeol asked sadly. “I had to come back for you.”

      “I'm so sorry for everything,” Kyungsoo sobbed.

      “Shh, I told you I forgive you. It's ok...”

      “You really still love me?”

      “Yes, I do.”

      “So you'll be my boyfriend again?”

      “Of course,” Chanyeol laughed, leaning down to kiss Kyungsoo's lips. “I wouldn't want it any other way.”

      “I love you,” Kyungsoo whispered.

 

      Chanyeol smiled and snuggled Kyungsoo closer. It took some time before Kyungsoo calmed down and stopped crying, but Chanyeol held him the entire time. When he was finally calm, Chanyeol was the one to speak up this time.

      “Kyungsoo...You're really ok with dating me? I'm never going to be human again...”

      “I don't care,” Kyungsoo said firmly. “I love you all the same. Metal body or not, you're still Chanyeol.” He heard Chanyeol sniffled and glanced up to see his eyes watering as well.

      “Thank you...” Chanyeol whispered. “The lab hasn't given up on me. They're trying to find ways to make me more human-like. If you could hold out for that, then maybe someday...”

      “I'll love you no matter what. But I know that being human in some form means a lot to you, so I'll be by your side while the lab tries to help you as well, ok? But nothing that could put your soul at risk again. If I lose you for real, I won't know how to move on...”

      “That sounds like a plan,” Chanyeol agreed, laughing a bit. “It's late. You should go home...”

      “Come home with me,” Kyungsoo said in a panic. “I don't trust you alone at night anymore. Plus all your stuff is at my house cuz you've been staying there since everything happened.”

      “I'd love to.”

 

      Chanyeol got to his feet and helped Kyungsoo to his. After, they headed to the car. Kyungsoo was still shaking, and no matter how much he tried to let it sink in, he couldn't believe that Chanyeol was back. But the person at his side, swinging their intertwined hands and smiling like a happy idiot was _definitely_ Chanyeol. Perhaps Kyungsoo should have just spilled his heart out to him earlier.

 

      Kyungsoo drove home, playing music on the radio and listening as Chanyeol hummed along. It was like all the warmth that had left their relationship was back tenfold. Everything Chanyeol did sent Kyungsoo over the moon and back. He was so glad to have him back.

 

      When they got back to Kyungsoo's apartment, it was really late, so they both decided to change into comfortable clothes and go to bed. Chanyeol rested his head on Kyungsoo's chest, something he hadn't done in a long time. Kyungsoo ran his fingers through Chanyeol's hair, relishing the closeness. Despite having a robotic body, Chanyeol seemed to give off warmth and softness.

      “You know,” Chanyeol started. “A lot of my anxieties in our relationship had to deal with my body.”

      “I figured. Do you feel better now that I know?”

      “Yeah. I still don't know how I feel about some things though.”

      “Like what?”

      “Well, the lab was working on some taste buds and basic sensory add-ons so that I could taste and feel things, but there's going to be a lot of trial and error. It's going to still be a long while before I can feel you. Like really feel you I mean.”

      “Are you worried I'll get tired of you?”

      “A little. I mean, we can do some things now if you want...Like we could have sex if you wanted to.”

      “But you wouldn't feel it, right?”

      “No, but I don't want to make you wait...”

      “I want to wait until you can feel it,” Kyungsoo said. “I want it to mean something to the both of us. I don't mind if I have to wait for a really long time. If I need to, we can do other things, but I want our first time together to be special.”

      “Ok,” Chanyeol said softly, nuzzling closer to Kyungsoo. “You're really cute and romantic, you know that?”

      “Shut up,” Kyungsoo huffed. “I'm only like this for you, so you better feel special.”

      “I do,” Chanyeol laughed. “I need to go into charge mode now though...”

      “Go ahead and sleep,” Kyungsoo whispered, kissing the top of his head. “Just promise you'll still be there in the morning.”

      “I promise. I'm not going anywhere.”

      “Goodnight. I love you.”

      “I love you too.”

 

      Kyungsoo watched as Chanyeol's eyes shut. Keeping Chanyeol on his chest, Kyungsoo reached for his phone on his bedside table and dialed a number. It was really late and he normally wouldn't call anyone at this hour, but he needed to tell Baekhyun what had happened. It took a while for the other line to pick up, but Baekhyun always picked up when Kyungsoo called.

      “Hello?” Baekhyun asked in a rough, stuffy sounding voice.

      “Hey,” Kyungsoo started softly. “How are you feeling?”

      “I'm alive,” Baekhyun grumbled. “My fever went down a little. What's up? Why are you calling so late?”

      “Chanyeol came back.”

      “Are you serious?” Baekhyun gasped, coughing a bit from raising his voice too much.

      “Yeah...He's really back, Baekhyun. He said he still loves me...”

      “Thank God,” Baekhyun sighed. “And you told him how you feel, right?”

      “Of course. I love him so much, Baekhyun. I can't believe he's really back...”

      “I'm happy for you,” Baekhyun said softly.

 

      Kyungsoo didn't want to cry again, but the tears didn't seem to stop. He couldn't stop repeating how much he loved Chanyeol, and how he couldn't believe he was back. He felt like a broken record, but Baekhyun didn't seem keen on shutting him up despite how late it was. Instead, they both ended up falling asleep on the phone again, something they tended to do now when they had their particularly emotional late night moments. Everything was finally starting to look up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now Chanyeol's back, yaaaaaaay! I'm such a sucker, I couldn't put him or Kyungsoo through anymore hell lol!  So with this, the couples have pretty much made up, but there's still more loose ends to tie up~  It's weird that this story is coming to an end.  It feels like it always takes me ages to write these stories cuz they're so long XP  But hold out for the last 2 chapters!  The worst of the angst is finally behind us lol!


	16. Chapter 16

      The weekend passed and Baekhyun's cold turned into lingering congestion and a cough. Minseok had decided that rather than making Baekhyun his usual sweet, cold drink at the end of his shift, he would make Baekhyun some warm tea to soothe his throat. Baekhyun was going to meet him at the cafe today instead of Minseok going over to school, then they would be going out to eat food at a cheap restaurant. Going out on dates like this was a new addition to their relationship, and Minseok really enjoyed watching Baekhyun enjoy his food since he couldn't enjoy it himself. He really just liked seeing Baekhyun so happy in comparison to the recent pain they'd both gone through.

 

      Minseok heard the bell above the door ring and he called out in greeting to the customer who just walked in. He paused in surprise when Chanyeol stood there, smile beaming at him. Baekhyun had told Minseok that Chanyeol had recovered, but they hadn't been able to meet up yet. It wasn't a surprise that Chanyeol was here now, but Minseok was still extremely pleased to see him. He'd been dying to check up on him and talk to him.

 

      The instant Chanyeol walked further into the store, Minseok was running around to the other side of the counter and clobbering him in a hug. Chanyeol laughed and hugged him back, and Minseok got some very confused looks from his fellow employees, but he ignored them. Instead, he grabbed Baekhyun's drink from the counter and he and Chanyeol headed to their usual table that they talked at in the corner of the cafe. When they were seated, Chanyeol pointed at the drink with a smile.

      “That's for Baekhyun, right?”

      “Ah, yeah,” Minseok said softly. “He's getting over a cold so I figured he could use a hot drink this time.”

      “Glad to see you're still pampering him,” Chanyeol teased. Minseok smiled gently, not even bothering to deny it. “Is Baekhyun coming here later? I haven't seen him since everything happened either...”

      “Yeah, he'll be here in like 10 minutes or so.”

      “Great! Kyungsoo too.”

      “How are you two?” Minseok asked somewhat cautiously. Chanyeol's smile grew and he rested his face on his palms.

      “Pretty good. After I came back, we talked things over, and I think we see eye to eye again.”

      “And you're...really back. You're ok now?”

      “Yeah, I'm fine. I'm all here and me again.”

      “Thank God,” Minseok sighed, leaning back in his seat. “Don't _ever_ scare me like that again!”

      “I don't plan on it,” Chanyeol laughed. “Kyungsoo's gotten way more protective over me so I don't think it'll be a problem. I'm going to move in with him soon. We talked about it and he wants to live together.”

      “That's great,” Minseok exclaimed. “This is what you wanted, right?”

      “Yeah. It still seems a little unreal. I never thought he would feel this way about me and actually continue dating me.”

      “I'm glad things worked out for you. I really am. You deserve the best, Yeol.”

      “Oh shut up! You're only getting sappy because you almost lost me!”

      “Yeah, well enjoy it while it lasts,” Minseok sassed back. Chanyeol laughed again and leaned closer to Minseok from across the table.

      “So how were things with Baekhyun while I was gone? You were really scared and upset about telling him how you felt, but you seem pretty at ease now.”

      “We had a pretty rough patch right after you got hurt,” Minseok sighed, grimacing slightly. “He actually ran away from home just to get away from me.”

      “How did you manage to upset him that badly?”

      “We misunderstood each other and ended up both getting hurt. I really wished I'd had you at that time, Yeol. You always were better with romance and people than I was.”

      “I'm sorry I wasn't there. It must have been hard going through it on your own.”

      “Kyungsoo looked after me, thankfully. The hardest part was knowing I hurt Baekhyun and he was missing because of me.”

      “So how did you two make up? I mean, he came home obviously...”

      “I confessed to him,” Minseok mumbled, looking away shyly. “I told him I loved him and we talked about what happened and how we felt.”

      “And? How did Baekhyun feel? How did he take your confession?”

      “He loved me too,” Minseok whispered, smile breaking out on his face at the thought. “We're dating now, Yeol.”

      “I knew you never had anything to worry about. Baekhyun has loved you almost since the day he met you. You two are just terrible at admitting your own feelings.”

      “Yeah, I think we both figured that out. But it's nice...I like being with him.”

      “I'm happy for you. You deserve the world too, Min.”

 

      Minseok smiled and tapped at the side of Baekhyun's drink with his finger. Chanyeol was always supporting him, no matter how he felt himself. Minseok had gotten so used to it, not having Chanyeol had been a real shock and eye opener for him. For how much Minseok depended on Chanyeol, he'd hardly given Chanyeol someone to depend on in return.

      “I'm sorry I haven't been there for you all this time,” Minseok sighed.

      “What? You _have_ been there though...”

      “Not really. Any time you and I talked, it was always about my problems. I was never there for you.”

      “When I had a problem and came to you, you were there,” Chanyeol soothed. “The night Kyungsoo and I fought, you and Baekhyun were there for me. You were there beside me eating ice cream, remember?”

      “Yeah, but I couldn't give you any advice or reassurance...You've always been able to do that for me.”

      “Being there is more than enough for me. That was what I really needed that night. You're my best friend, Min. We'll always figure things out together eventually. And besides, you're one of the only people I can be myself and tell anything to. Don't sell yourself short.”

      “If you say so,” Minseok mumbled shyly. “Thanks, Yeol. I'll try my best to do better in the future.”

      “You know,” Chanyeol sighed. “I really envied you for a long time...to the point of resentment.”

      “What? Why?”

      “You had everything I ever wanted,” Chanyeol admitted. “You were still alive, so you never had to worry about being like this forever. You had someone that loved you and took care of you even knowing what you were. I wanted to be in your position so badly. Sometimes I'd feel that resentment bubbling in my chest when we talked...”

      “I'm sorry...”

      “It's not your fault. I knew it wasn't. And as much as I resented you, I was so, so grateful that you weren't in the same position as me. I always felt really bad after I had any kind of angry feelings for you, and I tried my hardest to get them out of my head.”

      “So do you still feel that way? It's ok if you do. I understand.”

      “I don't. I want you to be happy and healthy. I've come to terms with who and what I am now. And I have Kyungsoo, so I'm not alone or unloved either. Even though I'm like this, I'm blessed. I have everything I wanted in life, just a bit differently than expected.”

      “What about your body?”

      “The lab's been working on a few add-ons for my sensory system. I agreed to help them perfect it and test it on me. Kyungsoo said he's on board too as long as no harm comes to me. It might take some time, but I think I'll get there someday.”

      “I'm glad to hear that, Yeol. For both my sake and yours,” Minseok laughed.

 

      Chanyeol laughed along with him and the bell above the door sounded in the distance. Minseok glanced over to see not only Baekhyun walking in, but Kyungsoo as well. Minseok waved to the two of them and they instantly headed over to the table. Baekhyun sat down beside Minseok and Kyungsoo beside Chanyeol. Almost immediately, Minseok handed Baekhyun his drink and forced him to take a sip, knowing his throat was still in a lot of pain.

      “You two seemed awfully cozy,” Kyungsoo commented to both Minseok and Chanyeol.

      “It's been a while since we talked,” Minseok shrugged. “I didn't know you'd be joining us as well, Kyungsoo.”

      “I invited him,” Baekhyun explained. “He was on his way to pick Chanyeol up here, so I figured we could all go out to lunch together. It could be like old times.”

      “We haven't done that in forever,” Chanyeol gasped. “I'd love to go!”

      “Sounds like a plan to me then,” Minseok agreed. “Baekhyun and I were just going to go to this little restaurant not far from here. It has pretty good food.”

      “Lead the way and we'll follow,” Kyungsoo stated.

 

      Minseok got up from his chair, pulling Baekhyun up with him. The group piled out of the cafe, already happily conversing and got in cars long enough to head to the restaurant. Minseok felt a strange sense of nostalgia, even though he hadn't been fully awake the last time they all went to a restaurant together. He was liking the idea of making it a regular thing. Despite everything that happened to him and Chanyeol, his life finally had reached some level of normalcy. Even as he was, Minseok finally felt comfortable and at ease. Just like Chanyeol, he'd also gotten everything he needed in his life, with or without his human body in the picture.

 

~*~

      Baekhyun received a call a few weeks later. As soon as he recognized the phone number as that of the lab, he rushed over and gave the phone to Minseok to answer. He waited nervously as Minseok gave simple answers like 'yes' and 'I understand.' As soon as Minseok hung up the phone, he looked at Baekhyun with a nervous expression.

      “It's time,” he said quietly. “I can go back...”

      “Are you serious?” Baekhyun gasped, jumping on Minseok and hugging him close. “This is amazing!”

      “It doesn't feel real,” Minseok mumbled into Baekhyun's chest, a smile stretching on his face.

      “I told you you'd go back.”

      “I know,” Minseok whispered. “Thank you, Baekhyun...for supporting me all this time.”

 

      Baekhyun hummed and kissed Minseok's head. It was late in the evening, so Minseok had agreed to go to the lab the following day. They'd been getting ready for bed, but with the new excitement and anxiety, suddenly neither of them were tired. Minseok was thankful he still had a body that shut itself off regardless of how he felt. Otherwise, he was sure he'd be up all night.

 

      Baekhyun called Kyungsoo to tell him the news as well. As it turned out, the lab had called Chanyeol as well, wanting to install prototype taste buds on him, so they would be at the lab tomorrow as well. When Baekhyun told Kyungsoo the news, he and Chanyeol immediately asked if they could wait for Minseok's operation and see him when it was over. Of course Minseok didn't have any problem with that. He was going to need all the help and support he could get.

 

      Baekhyun and Minseok curled up together in bed after that. Minseok was the one resting on Baekhyun's chest this time, something that didn't happen often because Baekhyun generally loved clinging to Minseok's side and laying on his chest instead. He was feeling extremely anxious, however, and being snuggled in Baekhyun's arms while the latter ran fingers through his hair was comforting, even if Minseok couldn't quite feel the physical sensation of it all. He would though after tomorrow.

      “You're nervous,” Baekhyun said softly, not even bothering to phrase it as a question.

      “What if something goes wrong? What if my body isn't ready this time either?”

      “Then we'll keep waiting until it's ready. You'll go back, Minseok. Your body has been healing all this time.”

      “You're going to have to help me...They were saying I won't even have the strength to stand on my own at first. I'm going to need a wheelchair and you'll have to help me do almost everything...”

      “That's ok,” Baekhyun soothed. “We talked about this and I was already planning to take care of you.”

      “I'm still scared...”

      “What do you want to do first when you go back?” Baekhyun asked. “Do you want to get something to eat?”

      “Huh?”

      “You'll be able to taste things, and even Chanyeol might be able to after tomorrow. Maybe we should all go out to eat.”

      “Yeah...That sounds nice,” Minseok agreed. He appreciated Baekhyun trying to keep his mind off of everything. “I want to cuddle too,” he admitted softly.

      “Oh believe me, I'm not gonna wanna let you go,” Baekhyun laughed. “We'll get through it just fine together, Minseok.”

      “I need to call my manager tomorrow morning,” Minseok sighed. “I was planning to tell him that I needed to have an urgent surgery and need some time off work, and that I'll take some time to recover even when I come back. Hopefully he won't fire me...”

      “That sounds like as good a way of explaining it as any. If you bring in a doctor's note and stuff, hopefully it will be ok. You don't actually work tomorrow, right?”

      “No. I'm off for the next couple days.”

      “Good. Then it's not as short notice as it could be. It should be fine. It's not like he can fault you for a medical emergency.”

      “I guess. Everything's going to change again...It's weird. I'd honestly gotten used to living like this.”

      “You'll get used to whatever's next too. And I bet it'll be way better than this.”

      “I hope so,” Minseok sighed.

      “Sleep. You've got a big day tomorrow.”

      “Yeah...Thank you again, Baekhyun. I love you.”

      “I love you too, Minseok.”

 

      They kissed on the lips and Baekhyun waited and watched as Minseok closed his eyes for hopefully what would be his last charging phase. Baekhyun was truthfully nervous as well. He was perfectly fine with taking care of Minseok in any condition he might be in, but he was praying that nothing went wrong during the transfer. After Chanyeol, Baekhyun had learned that souls tended to be somewhat hard to bond. It was Minseok's original body, so Baekhyun hoped that meant the soul would naturally bond with it, but he had no real way of knowing. It all still seemed like a far-fetched concept to him. Still, he hoped everything would go well, and that tomorrow night, he would be sleeping with a human body in between his arms.

 

~*~

      The following morning, Baekhyun woke up a little before Minseok's charging time was supposed to end and got himself ready. He knew Minseok would be extremely anxious and wanting to get out of the house as soon as possible, so Baekhyun wanted to be mostly ready so they could just get dressed and leave. Minseok didn't need to eat breakfast luckily, but Baekhyun would be feeding him dinner later. It was already exciting him to think about Minseok having a meal in his human body again.

 

      As soon as Minseok woke up, as Baekhyun expected, he was an anxious mess. Baekhyun had to tell him that he'd put his shirt on backwards. After helping Minseok properly get into his clothes, they got into Baekhyun's car and headed to the lab. The entire time, Minseok was staring out the window, tapping his foot nervously. Baekhyun would reach over when he could and rub his thigh or hold his hand. He was pretty nervous himself, but he was also having a hard time containing his excitement. If all went well, he knew this was going to be an amazing change for Minseok.

 

      When they got to the lab, they weren't surprised to see Kyungsoo already there and waiting. He gave them both a wide smile and ushered Baekhyun over to a seat beside him. Minseok sat beside Baekhyun as he waited for the head scientist to call him back. When it was finally time, he glanced at Baekhyun nervously.

      “You're gonna be fine,” Baekhyun soothed.

      “Will you be there when I wake up?”

      “I will, promise.” Baekhyun held his pinkie up for Minseok to link his own with. While their fingers were still hooked together, Baekhyun smiled and spoke up once more. “Go on. Don't keep me waiting too long, ok? I want to see you wake up already.”

 

      Minseok laughed and timidly got to his feet, letting Baekhyun's finger go slowly. He sighed and followed the scientist back to the room where his body was resting. As soon as he was out of sight, Baekhyun let out a shaky sigh and leaned back in his seat.

      “I feel ya,” Kyungsoo sighed. “I was pretty reluctant to let Chanyeol go through his operation at first, and even now I'm nervous.”

      “I know he'll be fine,” Baekhyun mumbled. “He's in good hands...But there's still that fear in the back of my mind that something might go wrong...”

      “I completely understand. If I didn't know this would make Chanyeol happier than he is now, I honestly don't know if I'd let him go through it. I just don't want to lose him again.”

      “They'll both be fine. I trust the people here.”

      “They saved Chanyeol twice, so I guess I trust them as well,” Kyungsoo agreed.

 

      They talked about random things to try and keep their minds off of how long it was taking. Finally, they lapsed into silence, and Baekhyun started playing with his phone to try to distract himself. He jumped when a scientist called his name. The man explained that the operation was successful and that Minseok would be waking up soon and had requested beforehand that Baekhyun be there. Kyungsoo patted Baekhyun on the back, urging him to go, and Baekhyun got out of his seat, surprisingly shaky. It had been a success. Minseok was human again. Baekhyun would finally get to interact with him in a way Minseok could feel.

 

      Baekhyun followed the man back to the room where he had seen Minseok's body before. Instead of stopping in the observation room, however, the man took Baekhyun through that room and into the main room where Minseok was resting in bed. A chair had already been prepared beside Minseok's bed for Baekhyun to sit on and wait. He bowed to the scientists and thanked them a few times before finally sitting beside Minseok and looking him over.

 

      The bloody bandages that Baekhyun had seen last time were all gone. A few bandages still remained, but most of them had been removed and faint scars were present in their stead. Baekhyun glanced at some of the scars on Minseok's arms, followed by a few on his neck. Luckily, the scientists had managed to get rid of the scarring on his face.

 

      Looking at Minseok now, he looked beautiful. He always had, but like this, he looked so much more lively, even while unconscious and covered in scars. There were just some things a robot couldn't replicate. Minseok looked thin and frail, and his hair looked like it hadn't been cut in months. Baekhyun would have to help him with that later. Still, he was beautiful, and Baekhyun was dying to touch him.

 

      He reached over and ran his fingers through Minseok's hair, smiling as his fingertips brushed against his scalp. He already felt so much warmer, and his hair was much softer than the synthetic material his robot body had had. Baekhyun could get lost playing with his hair, especially with how long it was. He almost didn't want Minseok to cut it, but he knew this was far too long for Minseok to deal with. Perhaps they could settle for something in the middle, like what his robot body had looked like.

 

      Baekhyun kept his hand on the top of Minseok's head, playing with his hair and rubbing his forehead and cheeks sometimes. His other hand made its way to one Minseok's and intertwined their fingers. Minseok's were a bit bony, but Baekhyun still loved the way they felt. He loved how soft Minseok's skin was and how much warmer he was. Baekhyun had only held Minseok for a few minutes and he was already falling so much more in love with him than he already was, if that was even possible. He couldn't wait for Minseok to wake up and experience all of this.

 

      Minseok didn't wake up until some time later. Baekhyun had been in a trance, rubbing his thumb on Minseok's hand that he was holding, so when a sudden groan resounded from the boy beside him, he jumped to attention. He watched as Minseok continued to groan softly and his eyelids fluttered, like he was having trouble opening them. Baekhyun called for him quietly, hoping that Minseok would actually wake up and not go back to sleep. Baekhyun didn't think he could wait much longer. He wanted to look Minseok in the eyes finally. He wanted to hear his voice and see his reaction.

 

      Thankfully, Minseok's eyes finally opened and settled on Baekhyun. They glistened a bit more than his robotic eyes had, and there seemed to be so much depth in them. Baekhyun was honestly rendered speechless staring into his eyes. He watched as they watered and shook slightly.

      “Baekhyun?” Minseok croaked out, his voice course and syllables slurring together. He coughed immediately after, not used to using his vocal chords anymore.

      “Shh,” Baekhyun hushed, not wanting him to strain himself. “It's me...You're back.”

 

      He could hear his own voice shaking as tears gathered in his eyes. Minseok's eyes traveled down Baekhyun's body, stopping at their intertwined hands. It was hard to see with his body at an angle, but the warmth he was feeling surely meant Baekhyun was holding him, right?

      “Are you holding my hand?” He asked.

      “Mhm,” Baekhyun hummed, smile growing on his face. “It's really soft. I like it.”

      “You're so warm,” Minseok whimpered, tears finally streaking down his cheeks.

 

      As much as he tried to hold back, sobs escaped Minseok's lips, only growing in volume as he realized he was really back. Baekhyun ran a hand through his hair, and the sensation sent chills down Minseok's spine. When that didn't put a halt to Minseok's tears, Baekhyun decided to lean down and kiss his forehead, lingering close by afterwards so he could look closer into Minseok's eyes.

      “You're back,” he whispered, excitement clear in his voice.

 

      Minseok only cried harder at that, and Baekhyun pressed their foreheads together so he could kiss Minseok's lips every now and then in between sobs. His lips were a bit dry and chapped, but Baekhyun still liked the way they felt. Besides, once he took him home and made sure he was taking care of himself, he was sure Minseok's lips would feel much softer.

      “Kissing you is so nice,” Minseok muttered when he'd calmed down a bit more.

      “Good for you you'll get to do it any time you want now,” Baekhyun laughed.

 

      Minseok's tears slowly came to a halt as Baekhyun kissed him more. Baekhyun couldn't stop his hands from roaming around Minseok's face. He knew it meant just as much to Minseok to be able to feel this as it did to Baekhyun. It was only when the head scientist cleared his throat that Baekhyun glanced up to see him on the other side of the bed.

      “I'm sorry to interrupt, but we need to make sure Minseok's limbs all still have feeling and movement to them.”

      “Alright,” Baekhyun agreed.

 

      He backed away from Minseok, earning a quiet whine from the latter, but he kept his hand firmly gripping Minseok's. The scientist very carefully lifted Minseok's torso off the bed, causing him to gasp. It felt so strange and his body felt like it might as well have been jello. The scientist gently leaned him against Baekhyun, who instantly supported him, wrapping his free hand around Minseok's waist. Minseok felt his cheeks flush. Already he was having to rely on Baekhyun for support, and he'd only just sat up. It was embarrassing, but Baekhyun simply placed a kiss on his temple and watched as the scientist lifted Minseok's free arm.

 

      The head scientist slowly bent and straightened Minseok's arms, gauging his reaction and asking him to do simple movements like wiggling his fingers and forming a fist. Minseok was amazed at how lethargic he was. Even the smallest movements seemed extremely hard, but the doctor said that was to be expected and it would take some time for his soul to readjust to his body.

 

      The scientist proceeded to move and stretch each of Minseok's limbs, making sure he could still feel it and control the movement for the most part. When he'd finished inspecting Minseok and deemed his soul safely transferred, he and Baekhyun carefully propped Minseok up on his bed and pillows.

 

      The scientist explained to Baekhyun that he would have to help Minseok around and he would be in a wheelchair for a while. He also explained actions and exercises Baekhyun could do with Minseok to help him regain his strength faster. Baekhyun listened intently, even taking notes on his phone. Minseok couldn't help the soft smile on his face. Baekhyun really was giving this his all, so Minseok would try to do the same.

 

      The scientist then left them, wanting to check up on Chanyeol's progress. As soon as the man was gone, Baekhyun was sitting on the bed beside Minseok, arm around his shoulders and other hand intertwined with Minseok's. Baekhyun couldn't stop asking Minseok how each little action felt, but Minseok didn't really mind. He was excited to be able to feel Baekhyun playing with his fingers and snuggling him close.

 

      Some time later, there was a loud knock on the door, causing both of them to jump. Baekhyun called out for whoever it was to come in, and soon Chanyeol was bounding into the room, rushing over to Minseok as soon as he saw him. He pulled Minseok into a strong hug, being careful not to jostle him around or hurt him. When he pulled away, he was grinning from ear to ear, and he gave Minseok's shoulders a firm squeeze.

      “How's it feel? Amazing?”

      “To be honest,” Minseok started. “I feel exhausted. But it's kinda nice to feel that way too.”

      “I'm so happy for you,” Chanyeol said, hugging him close again.

 

      Minseok slowly moved his arm around Chanyeol's back to return the action. Kyungsoo walked over to Baekhyun and rubbed his back, smiling at him before speaking up.

      “They successfully added taste buds to Chanyeol, so we'll all have to go out to eat together when you feel a bit better,” Kyungsoo told Minseok.

      “Really?” Minseok gasped, looking up at Chanyeol excitedly.

      “Well, they're still prototypes, so I'll need to give them feedback so they can make changes, but yeah. I'll be able to taste things now.”

      “We'll definitely go out to eat then,” Minseok agreed.

      “Would you like to try going home for now?” The head scientist spoke up in the midst of their conversation. The group looked at him with wide eyes. “You've both gone through your operations successfully. If you'd like to take Minseok home now, you can. I've brought a wheelchair that he can use.”

 

      The man rolled the chair over to the bed. After he reminded Chanyeol and Minseok of their next appointments and told them they were free to go before taking his leave. Chanyeol turned back to Minseok and patted his back.

      “You wanna go home?”

      “Yeah.”

      “Baekhyun do you want me to help you lift him?” Chanyeol asked.

      “Ah, yeah. Once you get him in the chair, I should be ok.”

 

      Chanyeol nodded and turned to Minseok, slipping his arm around his back and under his legs. After that, he picked him up with ease, though Minseok gasped, hands clinging to Chanyeol's shirt. Chanyeol walked over to the wheelchair and carefully placed him down in it. Minseok was still in a generic hospital outfit, and Baekhyun had been given his clothes from his robot form, but he didn't think it would be the right place to change him. Minseok probably felt pretty crummy, so Baekhyun was going to give him a bath when they got back to his place anyway. Clean clothes after a bath would feel best for him anyway.

 

      Baekhyun grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and leaned down to kiss Minseok on the head before gently pushing him forward. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo held doors open for him and slowly helped them leave the research facility. When the sun beamed down on Minseok, he winced, not used to feeling the intensity of it. By the time they got to Baekhyun's car in the parking lot, his eyes had finally adjusted. Chanyeol helped lift Minseok into Baekhyun's car again while Baekhyun and Kyungsoo worked on folding the wheelchair and shoving it into the backseat. When everything was ready and Minseok was buckled in, they said goodbye to each other with promises of meeting again soon to have a meal together. Baekhyun shut Minseok's door and climbed into the front seat, then waited until Kyungsoo and Chanyeol had gotten to their car before starting the engine and driving off.

 

      Minseok was quiet for most of the ride home. He mostly stared out the window, taking in all the new, different experiences. Since it was such a long drive, he actually fell asleep towards the end of it. When Baekhyun pulled into a parking spot outside his apartment, he decided to carry the wheelchair up first since he wouldn't be able to wheel Minseok up the steps. When he'd placed that in his house, he went back for Minseok, trying his best to get him out of the car and onto his back without waking him up. It didn't really work, and Minseok was tiredly mumbling questions about where they were as Baekhyun walked up the steps to his apartment.

 

      As soon as Baekhyun got inside, he shut the front door and headed directly for the bathroom. He set Minseok down on the toilet seat lid gently and brushed the hair out of his face, smiling at the confused expression on the other's face.

      “Why are we in the bathroom?”

      “I thought I'd give you a nice warm bath and get you in some comfortable clothes. Does that sound nice?”

      “Yeah, but...I can't stand or lift myself up, Baekhyun...”

      “I know. I'll help you.” Minseok flushed and looked down in shame. Baekhyun sighed and knelt in front of him, kissing him on the lips. “It's ok. This doesn't bother me. And I've seen you naked before.”

      “Not like this,” Minseok mumbled.

      “Well, I'm gonna have to see you like this sometime, right? Can't have sex with your clothes on.”

      “You're already thinking about sex?” Minseok asked, laughing finally.

      “Well, yeah. As soon as you're ready, I want to have sex. I want to do everything with you, Minseok. Including give you a bath and look after you. So just let me, ok?”

      “Alright...”

 

      Baekhyun smiled and got up to go get Minseok some clothes from their bedroom. When he came back, he carefully helped Minseok out of his hospital shirt. His torso was covered with long, upraised scars. It looked like he had some scars from burns as well, but those had been treated and didn't look nearly as bad as Baekhyun was sure they once had. Still, Minseok covered his torso with his arms, afraid to look Baekhyun in the eyes. In response, Baekhyun pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back.

      “Hold on to me ok? I need to lift you up to take your pants off.”

 

      Minseok slowly wrapped his arms around Baekhyun's neck and the latter lifted him up, quickly sliding his pants and underwear down. Rather than resting Minseok on the toilet seat lid again, however, he pulled him close, lifting him up so that Minseok was flush against his body. Minseok gasped and clung tighter.

      “Baekhyun, I can't stand!”

      “I know, I've got you. Trust me.”

 

      Baekhyun slowly backed up so that they could look in the mirror. Minseok was pressed against Baekhyun, but he could still tell how thin he was. His skin was uneven from all the scars and his hair was long and unkempt. He looked absolutely terrible.

      “What do you see?” Baekhyun asked softly.

      “I need a haircut,” Minseok said instantly. Baekhyun laughed and snuggled him closer.

      “Yeah, we can do that. What else do you see?”

      “I'm thin and bony and look disgusting.”

      “You don't look disgusting,” Baekhyun sighed. “We'll feed you and you'll work out as you get stronger, so you won't always look that way. Stop beating yourself up about it. You know what I see?”

      “What?”

      “My boyfriend living and breathing in my arms. Yeah, he looks a little different now, but he's still beautiful and I still love him.” Minseok sighed and rested his head on Baekhyun's chest.

      “Thank you, Baekhyun...”

      “You're welcome...Now let's get you washed up, sound good?”

 

      Minseok nodded and let Baekhyun readjust him so he could grab his legs and lower him into the tub. Baekhyun got the water running and adjusted the temperature before plugging the tub and adding a generous amount of bubbles. Minseok sighed and slowly relaxed as the warm water wrapped around his body.

 

      Baekhyun sat on the toilet seat lid and gently rubbed some of the water and bubbles on Minseok's shoulders, then poured some shampoo in his palm before starting to massage it into Minseok's hair. The latter slowly closed his eyes, letting Baekhyun pamper him.

      “You did this for me once, remember?” Baekhyun asked softly.

      “Yeah. It was the night that guy attacked you...”

      “Mhm. You made me feel a lot better doing this though. It feels nice, doesn't it?”

      “Yeah...”

      “I'm glad I can finally do things like this for you.”

      “We can do it for each other. When I get better, I want to do nice things again for you.”

      “I'll look forward to it,” Baekhyun said softly. “Do we really have to cut your hair though?”

      “Yes,” Minseok answered immediately.

 

      Baekhyun laughed and continued playing with Minseok's hair. When the water started to get cold and Minseok's fingers were getting a bit wrinkled, Baekhyun drained the tub and helped Minseok wash off. After that, he wrapped him in a towel and sat him on the toilet seat lid again. When Baekhyun had helped him dry off the rest of the way, he helped Minseok into his clothes and carried him out of the bathroom, depositing him in his wheelchair again.

 

      They spent the rest of the evening watching TV and talking and kissing. When it was time for dinner, Baekhyun ordered what used to be Minseok's favorite takeout. When it arrived, they sat on the couch and ate. Baekhyun wasn't all that surprised when Minseok started tearing up after the first bite. Baekhyun couldn't stop smiling. He was so unbelievably happy for Minseok. He hoped his experiences would all make him as happy as being able to taste his favorite food did.

 

      At the end of the night, Baekhyun helped Minseok get ready for bed and got him tucked in beside him. Minseok's first comment was that Baekhyun's bed was really soft. His next action had of course been to cuddle as close to Baekhyun as he could, resting his head on his chest and gripping at his shirt with his hands. He laid there, listening to Baekhyun's beating heart and feeling the rise and fall of his chest for some time. His eyes burned with exhaustion, something he wasn't used to anymore. As he was just dozing off, he heard Baekhyun whisper something to him.

      “Welcome back, Minseok. I love you.”  
      “I love you too, Baekhyun. Thank you...for everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to update sooner but life got away from me, so now I'm doing it really quickly before I go on a little trip XP  A lot of exciting things happened in this chapter, so I hope you'll enjoy it!!!  There's only one more chapter after this that's mostly Xiubaek-centric, so just a little longer til this story's done ;;  I'll try to be back with that in the next few days, so hang in there!


	17. Chapter 17

      It didn't take long for Minseok to be back on his feet. He underwent therapy with a doctor from the lab and Baekhyun made sure to do his nightly exercises with him and feed him well. He'd already gained back a little weight and was looking much healthier. When he could finally stand for longer periods of time, Minseok contacted his boss and said he was ready to go back to work. Baekhyun still made sure to let his boss know that he would need to rest periodically.

 

      Returning to the cafe was a little strange and scary for Minseok. While his scars were pretty much covered by clothes, it was obvious to anyone that saw him that he was much frailer than before. Thankfully, his boss had explained to everyone that he'd had a pretty intense surgery, so no one hounded him too much about it. Baekhyun had taken him to get a haircut as well, so his hair looked more or less like it had when he was in his other body.

 

      The hardest part was explaining to his boss that he wanted to change his name to Minseok rather than Xiumin. He'd more or less had to explain that Xiumin had been a name he'd tried for a while, but in the end, he preferred his original name, Minseok. His boss hadn't quite understood why he tried to change in in the first place, but he happily made the change and began calling him Minseok. Somehow, everything was returning to normal.

 

      Following Minseok's return to his human body, the labs helped him get in contact with a banker that had been overseeing his old account. Minseok was finally reclaiming his old identity. When he'd been a robot with Baekhyun, he'd truthfully forgotten he even had an account. Now that he was back to his old self, he was realizing he had more saved up than he realized. He immediately bought a phone and a laptop so that he could keep in contact with Baekhyun and the others.

 

      He was even more surprised when Baekhyun admitted that he hadn't used any of the money Minseok had earned at his cafe job, unless he absolutely had to, but even then, he'd made sure to write down what he'd taken so that he could add it back when he got his own paycheck. When Minseok asked why, Baekhyun told him he wanted Minseok's money to go towards his own future.

 

      They sat down that night and ended up having a pretty long conversation about funds and what they both wanted in the future. Baekhyun agreed to let Minseok start helping him with the rent, groceries, and other living expenses. He still wanted Minseok to save up some money so that he could get his life back in order though. As Minseok thought about it more, he decided he wanted to try and go back to school, but he wanted to wait until Baekhyun was done so that they weren't both spending large amounts on education. It would give him plenty of time to figure out what degree he would go for as well as save up for the expenses. It was strange how much his life was starting to fall into order.

 

      Baekhyun had taken Minseok to campus to give him a small tour as well. He wanted to let Minseok know what options were there for him at that particular school. Minseok didn't have to go to the same school obviously, but now was the time for him to start exploring. As they were walking together hand in hand, they happened to walk by Junmyeon, sitting at a table near one of the buildings doing homework. His eyes caught Baekhyun's, then shifted to their intertwined hands. He smiled softly at Baekhyun and gave him a discreet thumbs up before returning to his work. Baekhyun flushed and continued to drag Minseok along on the tour. It felt both strange and oddly empowering to be dating in public and showing Minseok off to the few friends he had. Baekhyun wasn't used to being this relaxed and open about his personal relationships, but it was a nice change.

 

      As promised, Baekhyun and Minseok also went out to lunch with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo on a fairly regular basis. Minseok was always anxious to see how Chanyeol was doing and what kinds of food he would order. They were both going through a lot of changes. Chanyeol had moved in with Kyungsoo and they seemed happier than ever. He'd gone back to the lab and gotten more work done to his taste buds as well as gotten prototype sensory nerves added throughout his body so that he could feel things. It was far from perfect, but Minseok enjoyed the moments when Chanyeol would jump because something was too hot or too cold, or Kyungsoo would brush against him and hold him.

 

      During their most recent lunch date, Chanyeol had told all of them that the lab had gotten approval to continue the project. Since then, they'd gotten a few more people that had gone through the soul transfers. Chanyeol had actually agreed to help counsel them and look after them, since he'd been through so much already. For how much Chanyeol had originally hated the labs for being unable to save him and using him to look after Minseok during his soul transfer, he was surprisingly happy to help them now. Chanyeol explained that it made him feel like he had some purpose and there was something that only he could do to help other people. Minseok had been relieved to hear this.

 

      The entire time, Minseok and Chanyeol chatted away with each other, Baekhyun throwing in his own stupid commentary every now and then and Kyungsoo rolling his eyes but laughing at them all the same. Baekhyun couldn't take his eyes off of Minseok. Even though he was still a bit thin and easily tired, he looked so beautiful in Baekhyun's eyes. His smile was so bright and lively, and his laugh always sent chills down Baekhyun's spine. Baekhyun was pretty sure he couldn't love him any more if he tried.

 

      When they got home that evening, Baekhyun had some last minute homework to finish, so Minseok browsed the internet, waiting for Baekhyun to be done. Most of the time, they spent their evenings doing something together, be it playing games or watching shows and cuddling. Baekhyun had different plans for them tonight, however. As soon as he was finished with his homework, he moved everything aside. Minseok noticed as well and shut his laptop, placing it on his bedside table. Almost instantly, Baekhyun had gotten on top of him, kissing him and running his hands down Minseok's side. When he pulled away, he stared down at Minseok with a somewhat nervous, but excited expression.

      “What's all this about?” Minseok asked, his voice somewhat breathy.

      “I dunno,” Baekhyun shrugged, trying to play it cool. “Just felt like it.” Minseok hummed, pulling him down for another kiss.

      “Sure there wasn't any ulterior motives?” He asked with a smirk.

      “There might have been,” Baekhyun admitted. “Is that ok?”

      “Why wouldn't it be?”

      “I mean, are you ready?” Baekhyun asked shyly. “I don't want to push you if you're not ready...”

      “I'm ready,” Minseok whispered, kissing him once more. “But it's kinda my first time in this body, so um...”

      “Do you want me to lead?” Baekhyun asked.

      “Yeah. That would be good...”

      “I promise I'll be gentle.”

      “I know you will be.”

 

      Baekhyun smiled and reconnected his lips. Slowly, his hands made their way to the hem of Minseok's shirt and he lifted it up, parting their lips long enough to get rid of the shirt. At the same time, Minseok lifted Baekhyun's, and the latter wiggled out of it. Immediately after, Baekhyun's hands found their way to Minseok's chest, running along his skin and sometimes teasing his nipples, while Baekhyun continued kissing him. Finally, Baekhyun let his lips wander as well, kissing and gently sucking on Minseok's neck and collarbone.

 

      Minseok would gasp every time Baekhyun would find a new sensitive spot. He'd done this for Baekhyun so many times in his old body, but being on the receiving end of it now was already overwhelming. Minseok had never really gotten anywhere with his past crushes, so this was his first time being touched by someone like this. There were times when Baekhyun's fingers or lips would brush over one of Minseok's scars and he would shy away just a bit, but Baekhyun never let him get away. Instead, he would kiss along the entirety of the scar and whisper against his skin that he loved him. Baekhyun's breath tickled his skin, and Minseok always seemed to become putty in Baekhyun's arms after that.

 

      Baekhyun was trying his hardest to make sure Minseok felt every little thing, whether it was the brush of skin against skin, or a kiss or exchange of words. All the times they'd had sex before, Minseok had never really gotten to experience those things, so Baekhyun wanted to make up for all of that during this first time together. He dipped his hips, testing the waters and grinding against Minseok. The other gasped and gripped onto his shoulders, biting back a moan.

      “Don't,” Baekhyun whispered. “Don't hold back.”

      “It's embarrassing,” Minseok whined. “I'm not used to hearing myself like this...”

      “It's not embarrassing. I want to hear you. Besides, if you're embarrassed, think about how I was. I was way louder than you whenever we had sex. Do you want me to try to be louder than you this time too?”

      “No, let's not make it a competition, please...”

      “Fine~” Baekhyun sighed playfully. “But seriously, it's ok. Just let go. I won't ever judge you.”

      “Alright...Thank you, Baekhyun.”

 

      Baekhyun hummed, pressing their lips together and grinding against Minseok once more. This time, Minseok let a small moan escape, and Baekhyun couldn't help but smile into the kiss. This was so much more satisfying than any of the other times he'd had sex, and they hadn't even gotten that far yet. Seeing Minseok this way after everything they'd been through was invigorating to Baekhyun. He loved him so, so much.

 

      Slowly, Baekhyun's hands moved to unclasp Minseok's jeans and pulled them down. His hand played with the band of Minseok's underwear for a moment before slipping inside. Minseok gasped and clung to Baekhyun's shoulders a bit tighter, wriggling underneath him nervously. Baekhyun hushed him gently, kissing him on the cheek then the lips.

      “It's alright. Do you want to stop?”

      “No, I just...I'm nervous.”

      “It's ok. I'll take care of you, ok? Just relax.”

 

      Minseok sighed and Baekhyun brought their lips together once more. That seemed to be the easiest way to calm Minseok down. Baekhyun began to stroke his length gently, earning several moans from Minseok. As Baekhyun worked, he gradually slid Minseok's pants down so they weren't in the way. As Baekhyun went on, Minseok gradually began to move his hips in time with Baekhyun's hand. Not much longer after that, however, Minseok was calling Baekhyun's name and trying to pull away. Soon, Minseok tensed, cumming on Baekhyun's hand.

      “I'm sorry,” he whispered.

      “What for?” Baekhyun asked, eyes wide. “This is kinda what I wanted to happen, Minseok...Are you sure you want this?”

      “I do, it's just...I don't really have much stamina,” he mumbled, feeling his cheeks flush.

      “Well, yeah. This is pretty much the first time you're getting touched by anyone in months. I kinda expected that. Minseok, I'm not going to judge you, I promise. If you're feeling good, that's all I care about, ok?”

      “I don't want you to be bored though...”

      “Oh please,” Baekhyun laughed. “I'm just getting started. I'll enjoy this too, trust me. But my main focus is making you feel good. And I think I've been doing ok so far, right?” Baekhyun asked.

 

      Minseok sighed and nodded, cheeks still very flushed. Baekhyun leaned down and kissed him on the lips, resting their foreheads together afterward.

      “I love you,” he said gently.

      “I love you too,” Minseok mumbled.

      “Do you want to do more or do you want to stop?”

      “More...”

      “Alright. I'm going to keep going then, ok?”

 

      Minseok nodded and tried to relax again. He was being much more timid and shy than he'd ever been with Baekhyun before, but the latter figured it made sense. Minseok was in a very different physical state this time, and it was his first time in a human body. It was strange to think about it that way, but this really was Minseok's first time. Baekhyun knew Minseok still had a lot of anxiety about his body as well, so he wanted to take this as slowly as Minseok needed him to.

 

      Baekhyun cleaned his hand off with a tissue, then gently pulled Minseok's pants and underwear the rest of the way off. He pulled his lube and condoms out of his bedside table drawer, then gave Minseok a timid smile.

      “Are you ready for this?”

      “Yeah...”

      “Alright, I'm going to stretch you then. I'll take care of you, I promise.”

 

      Baekhyun coated his fingers with lube and positioned them at Minseok's entrance. The other held his arms out, wanting Baekhyun to come nearer. Baekhyun leaned forward, letting Minseok wrap his arms around him and kiss him as he stretched him. He went slowly, gauging Minseok's reaction and trying to learn what he liked and disliked. It took a while for Baekhyun to prepare him, but as Minseok slowly melted into moans and mewls underneath him, Baekhyun couldn't help but feel himself getting hard as well.

 

      Finally, Baekhyun pulled his fingers away and cleaned them off. He slid the rest of his garments off and blushed when Minseok's eyes went straight to his erection. He was still fairly nervous himself when it came to his own body. Thankfully, Minseok said nothing, simply smiled at Baekhyun and nodded, communicating that he was ready.

 

      Baekhyun opened a condom and slid it on, then coated it with lube. When he was ready, he positioned himself over Minseok, arms resting on either side of his face. He leaned down letting their noses brush.

      “Are you ready?” He asked once more. Minseok nodded, wrapping his arms around Baekhyun's neck and resting them on his back.

      “Yeah. I'm ready.” Baekhyun nodded and kissed his lips.

      “Before we do this, I want to tell you something.”

      “What?”

      “You're beautiful,” Baekhyun said almost reverently. Minseok flushed and pulled him closer into a hug. Baekhyun laughed and gently snuggled closer. “I'm going to start now, ok?”

 

      Minseok nodded and readjusted his legs so Baekhyun had better access. Baekhyun slowly pushed in, and Minseok arched against him. Baekhyun connected their lips again, feeling Minseok moan into his mouth as he began to thrust into him. Minseok was shaking, tears gathering in his eyes as Baekhyun continued to move. Everything felt so good and overwhelming. Baekhyun was being gentle, but every move was practically sending him over the edge.

 

      When Baekhyun hit his prostate, Minseok cried out, his toes curling and fingers digging into Baekhyun's shoulders. Baekhyun wrapped his arms around Minseok, thrusting just a bit harder into him, trying to hit the same spot. Minseok tried his best to hold out, but with Baekhyun hitting his prostate almost every time and moaning into his neck, it didn't take long for Minseok to reach his high again. Much to his relief, Baekhyun didn't take much longer to follow after him. They laid together, Baekhyun resting on top of Minseok and feeling him breathe harshly underneath him.

      “Guess I don't quite have it anymore either,” Baekhyun laughed. “It's been a while since we had sex together.”

      “It felt so good,” Minseok sighed, running his fingers through Baekhyun's hair.

      “Was it worth the wait?”

      “Definitely. It was better than I thought it would be. I want more...”

      “We can do more,” Baekhyun said, propping himself up on his elbows. “I'll get another condom.” Baekhyun started to get up, but Minseok grabbed his arm and held him still.

      “Hey,” he called. Baekhyun cocked his head to the side.

      “What's up?”

      “You're beautiful too.”

 

      Baekhyun turned red and coughed, mumbling a quiet thanks. Minseok chuckled to himself and watched as Baekhyun quickly prepared himself for another round. Even though Baekhyun acted confident, Minseok knew he had his anxious moments as well, and he really loved seeing him shy and flustered like this. Baekhyun really was beautiful though, and Minseok wanted to tell him every day, just like Baekhyun did for him.

 

      They went at it several more times, stopping only when Minseok was starting to get tired and a bit sore. After that, Baekhyun changed the sheets of his bed and got new underwear for both of them, spending some time cleaning Minseok with a washcloth and massaging him, pressing kisses to his skin every now and then. When they finally settled down for the night, Minseok cuddled up to him, hand placed over Baekhyun's chest, feeling his heartbeat.

 

      Ever since he'd gotten back to his human body, Minseok was extremely clingy. Baekhyun didn't mind at all, being a rather clingy person himself. He loved feeling Minseok pressed against him. He was so soft and warm, and Baekhyun found it especially adorable when Minseok would lay his leg over Baekhyun's. Tonight was no exception. Their legs were tangled together and Minseok was half-dozing on Baekhyun's shoulder. Baekhyun ran his fingers through his hear, earning a content hum from Minseok.

      “So we'll be doing that more often, right?” Baekhyun asked. Minseok nodded sleepily. “Are you going to be ok?”

      “Yeah. I don't work tomorrow so I can just rest.”

      “That's good. As you get more confident, you can top and try different things out as well.”

      “I don't want to hurt you...”

      “You won't. We'll feel our way through it and figure out what we like, ok?”

      “Alright,” Minseok sighed, snuggling closer. “Thank you again, Baekhyun. For everything. I never would have gotten this far without you.”

      “I hardly did much. If anything, I made your life harder sometimes.”

      “No, you made it worth living,” Minseok argued. “I know I sound cheesy, but I mean it. You looked after me from the beginning, even when I wasn't really awake yet. You made me feel loved and accepted. You've made me so happy Baekhyun.”

      “I could say the same about you. I was a mess when you first met me. You're the first person that's ever really loved me...and the first person I've ever really loved,” Baekhyun admitted quietly. They were both getting rather emotional it seemed.

      “I want it to be like this forever,” Minseok mumbled.

      “Well, you live here now, so I don't see our evenings changing much.”

      “Good,” Minseok said, smiling and nuzzling into Baekhyun's neck. “You're so warm,” he muttered. Baekhyun smiled and kissed the top of his head.

      “So are you. I don't even need a blanket.”

      “Shut up,” Minseok huffed.

 

      Baekhyun laughed and hugged him closer. Minseok sighed and kissed Baekhyun's neck. It felt strange, living life so normally like this. He'd been longing for something for so long, and now that he had it finally, it was like he didn't know what to do with his life or where to go next. He had Baekhyun with him though, and they would struggle to find their paths together. Minseok wasn't alone in this.

      “I really love you, Baekhyun.”

      “I really love you too.”

      “Stay by my side, ok?”

      “You won't be able to get rid of me even if you tried~”

 

      Minseok smiled and finally let his eyes close. Falling asleep on Baekhyun like this was nice. He could feel Baekhyun roll around and move in the night, as well as pull him closer or press kisses onto his head. He would never stop being grateful that he could finally experience all of this. He hoped that he would experience many other firsts with Baekhyun as well. He hoped that the joy he experienced today would last the rest of his lifetime. His new life was finally beginning to take off after all. And most of all, he hoped that Baekhyun would be there by his side every step of the way. He didn't know the future, but he would do his best to keep Baekhyun happy and feeling loved, and he knew the other would do the same for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it!  Hope that was a good ending for this story :3  This story ended up being 83k words, which is hilarious because I was anticipating maybe 50k-60k when I started writing it OTL  Hopefully it was a good ride overall though and it breezed by.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading this story and sticking with it until the end.  I really struggled with this story.  I didn't have nearly as much confidence in it as I did my other xiubaek fics, so thank you for all the support and sweet words.  They really motivated me to keep going and made my day.  I hope you all were able to enjoy this story!


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